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I... I don't know. This chapter just ran away from me. I couldn't control it. ;_;
I'm sorry if this was a really gratuitous/ridiculous chapter. I promise the interlude will be more... plot-based.
Also, congratulations Masashi Kishimoto for finally finishing your monster of a story! It might not have ended ShikaIno, but it was still an amazing journey. Thank you for letting us walk that journey with you.
(But seriously, Sai?)
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My Boss The Genius
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PART THIRTEEN
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It wasn't that bad… right?
Temari's nose crinkled as she lifted the little black dress up, posing it in front of her body and studying her reflection curiously. Even without trying it on, she knew it would be really short and she'd spend the rest of the night trying not to worry about accidentally flashing someone with her butt. Maybe she should wear stockings? Or maybe tights?
Her lips pursed as she threw the dress back onto her bed. Couldn't she just go in her skinny jeans and a regular t-shirt? But Ino said the club they were going to was really high-class (not that that was unexpected; it was Hinata's bachelorette party, after all). Not to mention, if Temari showed up at Shikamaru's place in jeans and a t-shirt, she was almost positive Ino would wring her neck before throwing her into a spare dress lying around.
Because yes, Ino definitely had spare clothes in Shikamaru's apartment. And somehow, Temari was okay with that.
She'd asked her genius boss about it, and he'd adopted an incredibly annoyed twitching eye as he recounted for her, "My apartment is closest to their favourite club. They like taking over my place to do their girly shit and crash if they're all too shit-faced to get home." Ino had punched him for daring to call their pre-club routine 'girly shit' while Lee cried silently from where he was tied to Kurenai's desk. (He was still Ino's bodyguard, much to Ino's chagrin.)
Temari sighed heavily, weighing the pros and cons of arriving at Shikamaru's place in her usual clothes before finally deciding that, despite knowing she could do whatever she wanted because she was a Sabaku, it wouldn't hurt to give it a try. There was no harm in dressing up every now and then, right?
Well, it was a good excuse, but the expanse of skin staring back at her in the mirror was just too strange.
She felt… exposed. It was a modest enough black dress; three quarter sleeves and a dipping v-neck were okay, but the sheer quantity of leg was too much. Had her legs always been this long and… pale? Maybe stockings were better after all. She fetched a sheer black pair from her dresser, feeling mildly better after putting them on. Ino had insisted on heels for tonight's venture, but the only heels Temari had were her work heels. Hoping those would do, she slipped them on and grabbed her long trench coat.
"Did you pick up a side job as a prostitute?"
Kankuro sneered at her from the couch where he watched UFC, Gaara at the counter of the kitchen eating ramen leftovers. Temari made a face at her obnoxious brother.
"Get screwed," she said. There was a muffin in the kitchen with her name on it. Best to get something in her stomach before the drinking started. Gaara watched her carefully, his eyes dropping to study her dress.
"Is that new?" he asked, and Temari nodded.
"A friend helped me pick it out," she told him. Kankuro's chortle was heard over the television.
"I didn't know you hung out with sluts. Do you think one of them would bang me?"
Temari threw an empty water bottle at his head. She wanted to stomp over there and kick his ass too, but Gaara's hand on her shoulder held her back. It probably wouldn't do to get blood on her new dress; Ino would throw a fit. Instead, she ruffled Gaara's hair and stuck the muffin between her teeth, setting out for Shikamaru's apartment.
She could see the lights of his apartment on from the sidewalk, and rain started to drizzle as she ducked into the lobby of his building. The lobby and the ride up the elevator were both quite silent, only the click of her sensible heels audible in the air. But when she stopped at Shikamaru's floor and the elevator doors opened, she heard the muffled sounds of voices behind the door.
She figured the others arrived before her, and perhaps they were already being loud and wrecking Shikamaru's apartment. So when she knocked on the door and Kiba answered it, Temari was sufficiently surprised.
"Oh hey," he said nonchalantly, like he had expected her. It was embarrassing for her to say she looked at him like a gaping fish. Kiba seemed to notice her bewilderment, his shoulder leaning against the door as he sent her a roguish grin. "If you're not wearing clothes under that trench coat, I'll consider it lucky that I answered the door instead of Shikamaru."
Temari blushed furiously, pushing past him in her stubbornness to hide her red face. Of course, in her haste to get away from the wolf-boy, she found her nose inches away from the chest of a man she'd had an unrequited love towards for the last year. They looked at each other, one with a flush of pink across her cheeks and the other with a raised brow.
She felt like she should say something, or perhaps she was waiting for him to say something to her, but a familiar pale blonde decided to come running at them, pouncing onto Shikamaru's back as she grinned widely at Temari from over Shikamaru's shoulder.
"Oi! Get off, troublesome woman!" Shikamaru said, but Ino ignored him.
"Temari! Are you wearing it? Are you? Are you?" Ino asked, almost squealing in excitement. Temari blushed, but nodded shyly. Ino scrambled off of Shikamaru's back, nearly pulling out his ponytail in the process, and reached brashly for Temari's coat. Temari hadn't even realized Ino had torn her coat off until she heard the whistles from around the room.
"You look great! Doesn't she look great, bastard?"
Sasuke opened an eye to give Naruto a disparaging frown.
"Aren't you getting married soon?"
Naruto pouted. "I still have eyes, bastard."
Chouji, sitting on the other side of Naruto, smiled at Temari with a mouth full of popcorn. "You look very nice Temari." Beside Chouji was Neji, who didn't comment. He merely inclined his head politely at Temari in greeting. Temari recognized Shino in the room as well, standing next to the wall. Lee was, predictably, tied to a chair at the dining table, but she heard him faintly shout something about "THE BEAUTY OF YOUTH!" His statements still confused her, so she chose to ignore them most of the time.
Temari turned to Ino. "I thought this was a bachelorette party…" Ino shrugged.
"To prevent Kiba from hiring strippers," here, Ino glared accusingly at Kiba, who held his hands up in a placating gesture, "we've decided to monitor their bachelor party whilst at the same time having our bachelorette party!" Ino grinned brightly. "It's brilliant!" She grabbed Temari's wrist and started tugging her towards the hallway. "Now let's go!"
When they entered the guest room, Hinata, Tenten, and Sakura were already there. None of them were dressed yet, but each was doing something mildly girly. Sakura was painting her toenails, Tenten was applying her eye makeup, and Hinata looked like she was trying to assemble her long hair into something intricate.
"You made it!" Tenten said, smirking. Ino sat in an empty spot on the floor next to Sakura. She beckoned Temari to join them, handing her a hairbrush and a jar of nail polish.
"Teal would go great with your eyes," Ino remarked offhandedly. Temari looked at the two items with utter confusion. How the hell did they relate to each other? What was she supposed to do first? And more than that…
"You're all still getting ready for the club?" she asked. It was already nine 'o'clock; was it really necessary to do more preparation if the night was only going to last 3 hours? Temari wanted to leave the club the latest at midnight. But then Tenten burst out laughing.
"You didn't tell her?" she snickered. Ino pouted.
"I forgot! Honest mistake," she said. Temari was really confused by this point. Their plans had changed? Sakura was luckily the savior in this position, giving her a sympathetic smile.
"After we found out Naruto was having his bachelor's party on the same night as Hinata's bachelorette party, Ino came up with this really fun idea," she said. Sakura grabbed Temari's hand, uncapping the nail polish and painting her nails with it. "Instead of letting Kiba secretly hire strippers, we decided to be the strippers!"
WHAT?
Temari was pretty sure all four of the women saw the horrified look on her face. They all burst into hysterical laughter, and for a moment she hoped that after they finished laughing, one of them would say, "Psych!" and she could pretend that was the end of that awful joke.
But unfortunately, Ino reached over and started tugging her stockings down her legs. "W-what are you doing?!" Temari stuttered, her face turning a furious red. Tenten grabbed her work heels and tore them off her feet, giving them a distasteful look.
"What are these, granny heels? Good thing I brought an extra pair for you," she said. Ino succeeded in getting her stockings off, leaving her legs bare for the four of them to admire.
"You've got to show off those legs," Ino said excitedly. "Do you know how crazy the guys are gonna be for them?" But the prospect of strange men staring at her legs just made her cringe. Then again, no one in the living room was older than thirty, and they were all fairly attractive in their own ways … BUT STILL!
"Don't worry Temari-san," Hinata said, speaking up for the first time since the Sabaku had entered the room; she had somehow shuffled behind Temari, stealing the hairbrush to brush her hair, "You won't actually have to strip. The four of us aren't going to strip either; we're just going to dance."
Temari's eyebrows furrowed. "Dance?"
Ino grinned saucily. "We're going to pretend we're in a club and just dance in the living room around the guys! They get a show, and we get to make sure some hussy didn't touch Hinata's soon-to-be husband!" But Tenten scoffed at that description of the plan, pointing her mascara brush at Ino accusingly.
"Ino, what you consider dancing is what the rest of us consider a strip-tease." Ino stuck her tongue out in protest at Tenten before letting her hair out of its ponytail and grabbing the curling iron lying on the dresser.
"Do I get to a say in this at all?" Temari asked dryly as two of the four women prepped her to be leered at by eight men.
"Nope!" they all chorused in unison.
Great.
Why did she want friends again?
A knock sounded at the door and strangely enough, Shino poked his head in. "Everything's set up," he told them. Ino grinned and gave him a thumbs up.
"Great! Thanks Shino, we'll let you know when we're ready." He inclined his head and left, the door shutting silently behind him. Temari looked puzzlingly at the other women, but none of them offered an answer for the exchange that just occurred. But she supposed that was just as well; Temari wasn't sure she wanted to know what diabolical scheme Ino had conjured up. And oh was it diabolical.
Temari, decked out in a pair of silver heels with a full face of makeup and her hair wrestled into a messy bun at the top of her head, waited with the others at the edge of the hallway, watching the lights in the living room suddenly turn off.
"The hell? For such an expensive apartment, Shikamaru sure has shitty lights," Temari heard Naruto comment in the pitch black. But then a soft red light turned on, casting the whole room in a swathe of sensuality. The appearance of the red light was apparently a cue for Sakura, who stepped out into the living room. Everyone could clearly hear the click of her heels as she walked towards the group of men sitting on the couches. "Sakura? What are you doing?"
"Okay, go, go!" Ino whispered urgently, pushing Tenten out of the hallway. Before she went out after Tenten, Ino turned to Temari. "I need you to go to Shikamaru's room," she said hurriedly, ignoring the confused look Temari was giving her. "Just do it!" she hissed, pushing the Sabaku towards the master bedroom. Faintly, Temari heard Ino tell Hinata to wait a little bit before entering the living room, and wondered exactly what that woman was up to.
Unfortunately, thinking more about the matter just wasn't possible when she walked into Shikamaru's room and found herself face-to-chest with the only two men in the whole world who could turn her brain to putty.
"Ah, it's time I guess. Troublesome," Shikamaru muttered, lazily rolling up the sleeves of the black dress shirt he was wearing. It wasn't buttoned, revealing a well-toned chest. Beside him was Kiba loosening the dark blue tie that rested against his defined pectorals and sculpted abdomen.
"Wha—"
"Hey Temari! Looking good. Ready for the big reveal?" Kiba asked, grinning roguishly at her. Were her knees getting weak? Impossible. A Sabaku's knees didn't get weak for anything—
Kiba wrapped his arm around her waist and tugged her close to him, and she pretended she let him pull her closer, because there was absolutely no way she just stumbled from weak knees.
"Let's get this over with," Shikamaru mumbled grouchily, throwing his arm over Temari's shoulder. (Wait, what?! Hold on a second—) He stuffed his free hand into his pocket, and the three of them manoeuvred into the living room. If Temari's brain wasn't currently shorting out, maybe she'd have the right mind to smack both of them in the face.
(Maybe.)
"Did we miss anything?" Kiba called out as the three of them stepped into the living room. Temari would probably notice how Naruto was chained to the couch by way of three scantily clad women draped all over him if her brain wasn't currently having a mental crisis. Two naked men touching her inappropriately… cause for concern, or not?
"You're just in time!" Ino said cheerily from where she was pushing her breasts into Naruto's left arm. It seemed like Hinata had entered the living room moments before them and was on her way to join Ino and the others in fulfilling every man's greatest fantasy, but then Kiba leaned down to whisper in Temari's ear. His breath sent tingles down her spine, and his voice was so dreamy—FOCUS TEMARI!
"Replace yourself with Hinata," he said. The statement confused her but it seemed like her body understood the command well enough. Temari saw her fingers, painted with teal polish, reach out and grab Hinata's shoulder, stopping the other woman in her tracks. Hinata looked over her shoulder puzzlingly, but then started blushing furiously when Kiba let go of Temari and grabbed her instead. Temari stepped away and turned to watch Shikamaru and Kiba effortlessly drape themselves over Hinata the same way they'd draped themselves over her.
The blush on Hinata's pale face made Temari smirk, and irrationally she thought that this was kind of fun.
"W-w-what the hell?!" Temari heard Naruto shout from behind her. When she turned to pin him with a seductive gaze, he audibly gulped.
"Nice job," Tenten said, standing behind the couch where Naruto sat, her chest resting on the back of his head and her arms looped around his neck. "I thought it'd take you longer to figure out the plan." Temari just smirked and sashayed over to the couch where Naruto was being pinned by Ino and Sakura.
"Don't underestimate me," she told the trigger-happy agent. Part of her brain couldn't believe what was coming out of her mouth, but the giddy feeling spreading over her body wasn't a coincidence. Even as a Sabaku, she had to admit to herself that this was fun.
"I-I-I-Ino-chan, what's going on?!" Hinata stuttered. Ino motioned for Temari to take her place, and Temari soon found her legs spread over Naruto's lap as she sat next to him on the couch. He was trying not to stare at her legs, but he was losing the battle.
"It's not fair that Naruto gets strippers and you don't, right?" Ino asked innocently, her lips curving into a sultry smirk. Ino's finger trailed slowly up Shikamaru's chest, and even with the dim lighting, Temari could see Shikamaru's dark eyes hungrily raking over Ino's figure. In her distraction, Temari hadn't noticed Kiba's eyes following the curves of her own body.
"B-but Ino-chan…" Hinata said, and Ino waved her concerns away.
"Just have fun with it!" She winked at her friend and went back to join Naruto's temporary harem. On her way back, Ino looked at Sasuke and winked. The tall, silent pretty boy tensed in anger, but stiffly made his way over to where Hinata was currently being squished between two bare chests. Ino shifted to the side to let Naruto see Sasuke break the sandwich Hinata was trapped in, picking her easily up in his arms and carrying her to the couch across from Naruto, plopping her in his lap.
Temari snickered as she saw how tense he was, and how utterly embarrassed Hinata's face turned. It didn't help that Shikamaru and Kiba followed Sasuke, so now Hinata was surrounded by three handsome men, two of them whom were half-naked. The colour of Hinata's face was bordering on purple now, probably because she was so embarrassed she wasn't breathing.
Ino was still standing off to the side, and Temari got the feeling she was waiting for something. It wasn't apparent what she was waiting for until Naruto stubbornly threw Temari and Sakura off and stood up, his hands clenched into fists at his sides.
"Give me back my wife!" he shouted, grabbing Hinata's waist and hoisting her off Sasuke's lap. Ino smiled triumphantly as Hinata's face buried itself in Naruto's chest. Naruto then turned angrily to Ino. "What the hell Ino?!" he snarled. Ino shrugged as Kiba went to stand next to her.
"A bachelorette party is supposed to test the bride's fidelity, right?" she said, winking at the bride and groom. Kiba smirked and threw his arm around Ino's shoulders. Around her, Temari saw nostalgic and happy and joyous smiles decorating the faces of everyone there. Chouji had just come out of the kitchen with a huge cake decorated with fancy lettering, and Shino stood next to the stereo system with a laptop connected to it. Neji and Lee stood against the wall, one watching with fondness and the other with barely contained excitement.
"And a bachelor party is supposed to test the groom's fidelity, right?" Kiba said. Together, they leaned forward to flash toothy smiles at the friends they'd known since high school, and Temari heard the voices of every person in the room, except herself and the bride and groom, rise up in unison, mirroring the lettering on the cake Chouji held.
Congratulations!