CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Fallout

Kara groaned. The last thing she recalled was protesting weakly as Karin sedated her. Ganto, despite his lack of armor, had taken her place, alongside the salarian from Ashley's team, and probably did a better job of fighting off any further attacks than she would have, and at great risk to himself. She had forgotten just how much a reversed biotic attack could hurt, compounded by the experience with the beacon. Her head still ached faintly. Warm fingers brushed against her forehead, soft, and very human. Not Liara. Why not Liara? "Kara? Are you awake?"

"Yes," she muttered back. She stretched, her limbs stiff, but free of pain. "What happened, Brynja?"

"You got in a fight with Saren. Doctor Chakwas says you're lucky the biotic feedback didn't kill you, so soon after another beacon encounter."

"I remember that," Kara said. "What about after?"

"We won," Brynja stated bluntly. And victory tasted as bitter as defeat? That was something Kara knew well. "You should get up, and have something to eat. Then we can talk."

Liara's dead, she thought. She brushed it aside, banishing fear and doubt together. She forced herself to nod, not trusting her voice. It was always a mistake to get involved with people under your command, for that very reason. She had known better, but she still slipped.

"Good," Brynja smiled, undercut by the sadness in her eyes. She had lost one friend, at least. "I'll leave you to it."

Kara watched the blond go, her gaze falling on her computer console as the door closed. It would yield up all the information she desired, away from the grief of her crew. She had a feeling that she'd gotten too close to them, making it all more painful, but as much as she wanted to hide a way, they needed her now as much as ever. They needed her to offer the usual assurances, that all the death and destruction was worth it.

She sat up, closing her eyes against a brief dizzy spell. She hadn't eaten in close to twenty hours, and she still smelled of sweat. Keeping up appearances was an important part of reassuring the crew, which started with getting cleaned up.

Gathering clothes from the built-in cabinet at the foot of her bed, she walked to the shower room, jamming the door behind her. Her face in the mirror looked tired, as she stripped naked. Tired and distant.

She turned away, stuffing her dirty undersuit into the clothing processor, and stepping into the nearest shower. At times likes this, she always felt the need for answers. Their absence had contributed to her downfall, after Elysium. Liara had mentioned that Sovereign, the dreadnought, was actually a reaper, and from Saren's defensiveness, she assumed it was the real enemy she faced. She needed to know what it wanted and why, not just to satisfy her curiosity, but to justify her ongoing campaign.

At any rate, she washed swiftly under the soothing heat of the shower, then dried herself and dressed. Barely five minutes had passed before she finished, and left for the mess.

The food dispenser prepped and released a tray at her command, which she carried to the table, and sat down next to Brynja. Aside from a pair of her engineers, two salarians also shared the room. "Well?"

Brynja nodded briefly, aiming a frown at her mug of black coffee. "When Captain Kirrahe got back to the ship, he decided to take command. Keyx protested, but you were out, so Jeff and I managed to talk him down, and he left the bridge. Anyway, that was ten hours ago. The bomb went off as planned, and I guess it destroyed everything." She pushed a tablet down the table, sighing. "He says everything went well, but I don't know. The casualty list is pretty long."

Kara picked up the device, and scanned the list. Her crew was listed first, starting with Kaidan, who died during the final push to reach the Normandy. She took Brynja's hand, as she studied the remaining names.

Handel, Aaron. Earthborn, British Columbia, as she recalled. He had two younger sisters, one of whom had a two year old daughter named Kara. Not after you, he joked. His mother was a diplomat, his father a chemist. Both were still alive. Kara had given him light engineering duties, in addition to his marine training.

Johar, Ajuna. A fair pilot and mechanic, who had agreed to light maintenance work, in addition to flying the Normandy during third watch. While born on Earth, she grew up on Elysium. At the age of fifteen, she took up arms to defend the colony during the Blitz, and she idolized Kara, whom she credited for her survival. She had talked occasionally about an older brother, who served on a private freighter.

Shih, Baojia. A spacer, from a military family going back several generations, he had transferred to the Normandy from his year on garrison duty. Like Kara, he had grown up on Arcturus Station, though they had never met. He had a twin brother, who disdained the Service, and was studying physics on Earth. His mother had served as an engineer aboard various frigates, but was killed in a pirate attack. His father captained a cruiser. He spoke of an occasional dream to become a musician, though could never decide on an instrument. Recently, he had favored the flute. He was one of three marines who had not taken up extra duties when Kara took command.

Tau, Sonam. Confident and charming. She was another colonist, this time from Terra Nova, where her family made a living as farmers. She had joined the Alliance to experience the universe, and found herself disappointed. She enthusiastically embraced the non-human additions to the Normandy's crew, but always regarded Liara with suspicion. She had a younger brother, ten years her junior, who lived and worked with their parents. Like Baojia, she was infantry, with no technical training or biotics.

With a total of five dead, that left her with three marines; Aoki Sayuri, Zouhir Rabeh, and Ashley Williams, and reduced staff in engineering. All of Orlanis' CSec team had survived, as had Garrus, Wrex, Tali and Liara. Aside from Ganto, and the STG engineer assigned to the bomb, only five salarians had reached the Normandy, out of the sixteen that made up Kirrahe's two teams. Another eleven names, each of which she read. Compared to the hundreds dead on Eden Prime, or the thousands lost on Torfan, it was a short list, but they were each her responsibility.

She set the tabled down, releasing Brynja's hand. "What about injuries?"

"Sayuri lost a leg," the woman said. "Auran took a bullet in the chest, but Doctor Chakwas says she's stable. The rest got away with small stuff, or didn't make it out."

"Anything else?" she asked, closing her eyes against her tears.

"We think Saren escaped. His ship… it's two kilometers long, and turns like a frigate. We barely hit the relay ahead of it."

Kara smiled, and picked up her fork. Her meal was already growing cold. "Thanks, Brynja."

Kara endured Ehigha's tests quietly. He was in a low mood, silent and unsmiling, not entirely unlike her own. Even after he had finished, dismissing her with a terse, "You'll be fine," she remained seated on the bed, watching him in silence. He frowned at her, and finally broke down. "Do you have a minute to talk, Captain?"

"As many as you need," she replied.

"We lost a lot of people back there. Good people, who backed you when it would've been easier to walk away. How do you deal with that?"

"You just do," she said softly. She had lost subordinates after Elysium, on Torfan and the Kyoto, and just picked herself up and moved on, because what else was there? "Ehigha, I don't believe in carrying the weight of the dead. We make our decisions, and we accept the consequences. I'm more concerned about the survivors."

"Is that it? You just turn away and walk on?" he asked, his dark eyes narrowed angrily. His voice remained a strained whisper, in an effort to not disturb the unconscious turian on the far bed.

Kara sighed. "This is about your own pain, isn't it?"

"Dammit, sir, we just left them behind."

"Strong hands and gentle words/ bright laugher and silent tears/ moments past and memories/ worth more than tombs of kings," Kara said. It was part of a poem, written by a quarian, of which she had read a translation to Thessíe. Before they lost Rannoch to the geth, one of their dominant cultures had interned their dead in crypts, carved into the cliffs outside their cities. The realities of exile did not allow for such traditions, and so they reluctantly took to recycling their corpses, using them to fertilize the crops on their liveships. Most people outside the Flotilla considered it horrific, but it was simply life; the end, feeding back into the beginning.

In the end, all rituals involving the dead served only the living, giving them a sense of closure, and a monument, no matter how small. The marines lost on Virmire, and the STG soldiers who fell beside them, were nothing but dust. Nothing but memories. "I'd like you to prepare the service for them."

"Me, sir?" Ehigha asked. "Shouldn't that be your job?"

It was actually the job of the ship's chaplain, but he had left when she took command. The abrasive little man had served primarily as one of several nurses, or she would not have missed him at all. She supposed that, as captain, the role did fall to her, but she knew more about quarian beliefs than she did her mother's Christianity, and her knowledge of humanity's other dominant religions was even worse. "I think it would do you more good."

Ehigha shook his head, and sat on the second bed. His anger had turned into annoyance, and he seemed to be searching for the right thing to say. He had listed himself as agnostic, in his service record, which did not make him the most qualified in a religious sense. "I should know better than to argue with you." He sighed, his brief smile fading. "Hell, you don't even argue. You just sit, and help us argue with ourselves. It's infuriating. I wish I could do it."

Elementary tactics; choose your battlefield, and know your opponent. It worked as effectively with words as it did with guns, and resulted in fewer dead.

"You really are amazing, sir, and I don't mean how you fight. I mean, you started this mission by pissing off your most likely ally, and you managed to turn it to your advantage," Ehigha continued, looking down at his hands as he idly rubbed his palm. "I don't know what I'm trying to say."

"There's no need," Kara muttered. She certainly didn't like where it was going—either embarrassingly unabashed hero worship, or a painfully vapid 'wouldn't it be better if…'.

"Yes, there is. I've gotten to know more non-humans since you took command than in fifteen years service with the Alliance. I don't like them all, but I find I can understand them. You brought them here, and you're holding this crew together. I think that's pretty special, when you consider that most of them don't really trust us humans."

"Oh. Thank you," Kara tried. It felt like the first honest compliment she'd received in ages.

Ehigha smiled again, and this time the expression lingered. "Excuse me, sir. I should check on Auran," he said, rising to his feet.

Kara nodded. She had other duties to attend to, as well.

"Captain Shepard," Sevis Kirrahe nodded, as she approached him in the CIC. "We're eight hours past the Sentry Omega relay, on route to Council space. The ship is in good condition, though I've been supplementing your crew with the survivors of my unit."

Kara nodded; she'd heard it mentioned by the crew, which had gotten used to working alongside Tali and Garrus, and Liara to a lesser extent, and didn't take the addition of some STG officers as much surprise. "About that, Captain. After the losses we took on Virmire, I no longer have enough personnel to run this ship. I've only two people who can fly it, not enough experienced command officers, and engineering was already short-handed."

"Are you asking me to stay on?"

"Yes," Kara replied. "You'd take over as first officer, though Keyx would remain XO. I know it's a step down from your own ship, but it's high profile."

The salarian nodded. "Your request is not unexpected," he said. "The Council's orders could be interpreted as placing us at you command until Saren is brought it."

"I could ask them to make it official," Kara suggested.

"Command will be planning my hearing already," Kirrahe frowned. "This could be a good career move."

A success, to balance the fact that he had lost his ship, and most of his crew, on Virmire? Infiltration and neutralization of enemy facilities was supposed to be a key part of salarian military doctrine, with the STG in the lead. His commanders would not be looking for reasons to excuse his failure.

"The choice is yours, Sevis. I've extended the same offer to Orlanis, but I won't make it an order."

He nodded. "The STG gives its field operatives a great deal of freedom in fulfilling their orders, and mine are to uncover and disrupt Saren's operations. We'll assist you."

"I appreciate it. What happened to that asari scientist, Rana?"

"What fool designs an infiltration frigate without a proper brig, Captain?" he sighed. "She's locked in a sleeper pod, at present. Williams' suggestion. Orlanis has arranged to keep two guards on her for the rest of the day, when she'll be kept in the mess."

Kara shuddered at the thought. Sleeper pods could be cramped enough even for those who were in them willingly. If someone locked her in one, she could see herself clawing her hands bloody as she tried to break out. "No locks, Sevis, and one guard. She gets a chance to prove herself."

"I'll make the arrangements."

Kara nodded. "Good."

"You should inform Lieutenant Demas. He was unenthusiastic when I took command, and I would prefer to avoid another incident."

Kara found her XO in the training room, running through his daily exercises on the equipment. She had never gotten a taste for 'working out'. Sparring, or practicing the mental and physical discipline of the vana ithal provided a more engaging experience, occupying her brain as well as her body. It had given the man an advantage over her in raw strength, but that rarely mattered on a modern battlefield. Reflexes and endurance were more significant advantages.

"Captain, ma'am," he said, between upper-arm exercises.

"Keyx," she replied. "We need to talk. About Kirrahe."

"You left command of the ship to me. He had no right to take over." His jaw clenched, his arms jerking harder.

"It was a combat situation, and he had superior experience. It was a prudent decision, which would have been even better had he an XO who knew the ship."

The weights dropped with a clank, and remained still. "Sorry, ma'am?"

"Your job was to advise the commanding officer, and to relay his orders. You shouldn't have left the bridge."

"Yes, ma'am." The weights moved again, as he threw himself angrily against the levers.

Kara sighed. "I know you're inexperienced, and you've done well otherwise. Kirrahe is taking over as first officer."

He stopped again. "What is your problem with humans? What, you don't see it? Every time we make a stop, we pick up another group of aliens. Turians and asari on Citadel; Salarians on Virmire. There are seventeen humans on this ship, and eighteen aliens. You gave Garrus a watch on the bridge, and Tali'Zorah has her own engineering team. As soon as the Council gave you Orlanis, you put her in charge of the marines. Now Kirrahe. Are you noticing a pattern?"

Kara stood in silence, her eyes fixed on Keyx's. She had anticipated his objecting to an apparent demotion, but not this. Perhaps she should have, given his general unease with her non-human recruits, but her appointments were hardly arbitrary, as she attempted to make use of the best people for each job. No captain with a full crew would have made him first officer to begin with, given his former rank and position, but she had given him a chance because she had no one else.

"So this is just me being upset at a demotion? Or are you accusing me of being a xenophobe?" His blue eyes had shifted their focus to the grey padding of the exercise machine's seat.

"Are you?" she asked quietly.

"Yes! I mean, no," Keyx groaned. "I felt like you trusted me. You told me what you wanted done, and then let me do it, so maybe I am taking this as a sign that I failed you somehow. Did I?"

"No," Kara told him. "Kirrahe had his own ship. I can't expect him to be satisfied with running third watch, knowing that an inexperienced human will take over from him if anything interesting happens. You'll still have the bridge during first watch, and he'll only interfere if something comes up."

"I'm still not happy about this," he said, "but maybe it'll grown on me. I did say humanity needed more joint projects, right?"

"It was never my intention to make this crew into a cross-cultural experiment. I just need it work," she shrugged. "Yet it seems I need only a batarians or two to complete the set." Though that statement, in truth, neglected a number of other species; the elcor and volus, the hanar and their drell clients, the vorcha, and a few others.

"Tell me that was a joke, ma'am," Keyx stated dryly.

Kara laughed. "Mostly, though I met Kleth Bin'Tal when he was living on the Citadel. He's a good person, and not so different from the average Batarian. You can't judge them by the rhetoric of the Hegemony, any more than you can judge a human by the Alliance. I won't refuse any help, even if it is politically inconvenient."

"You should think more about appearances, ma'am."

"I'll think about it," Kara said. She had cultivated an unkempt image, but it was in part her natural state, adopted as a statement against certain social expectations, in particular the well-groomed, feminine woman. He was talking propaganda, however, on a scale that she always resisted. In all the years since, she had never deliberately reinforced her image as the Heroine of Elysium, and she saw no reason for that to change.

"You should have seen it, Kara," Sayuri smiled, her eyes slightly distant. Her right leg ended mid-thigh, an inexplicable, empty space on a woman who had always seemed so full. "It was perfect. The salarians were in the lead, when the Colossus rounded the corner ahead of us. They all went for cover. Kaidan ordered me to lend assistance, while the rest of his team kept a watch on our rear.

"We tried teaming up with the, ah, Ke'val, at first, but we couldn't seem to breach its shields. Kaliran tried to use her biotics, but we couldn't get a shot through before it compensated. When we heard that multiple geth were coming in from behind, I knew we had take it out. So I pointed the Mako at it, and threw on full power in. I tried to get Ajuna to bail, but she wouldn't go. She just kept firing, picking off as many geth as she could.

"As we closed the last few meter, I fired the rear control thrusters, just enough to flip the Mako, and bring up down on top of it. Somehow we managed to drive it back just enough to block the main route from the geth barracks, or whatever you call the place, but the Mako's cabin was crushed. Ajuna was dead, and my leg almost torn off. I passed out, and came to in sickbay. Captain Kirrahe told me I was the only reason any of us got away, so I guess I'd call this a fair trade," she sighed, patting her leg just above the cut. "Wrex says it makes me look hot, which doesn't help as much as you'd think."

"I suppose not," Kara admitted. She had tracked the Japanese marine down in the cargo hold, sitting on a crate and staring at the Mako's former place. The salarian's vehicle sat there instead, its sleek lines a stark contrast to the bulky tank it had replaced. She wondered if Kirrahe would consider letting her keep it, or even staying on himself. The extra crew would ease her personnel troubles immensely. "Has Ilan'ne shown you around the Ke'val?"

"Yeah. Doctor Chakwas said I'm to rest, so I had to beg. He ran some VI simulations for me, and wow. I dropped from orbit onto a high-G world, and hit a half-meter LZ, dodging AA fire on the way down, dropped off a ground team, and flew back to the deployment ship. Danced rings around a turian light tank, and got my ass shot off when I tried to face it head-on. You know how Joker talks about the Normandy? It's like that."

"Rapturous?"

"Transcendental," Sayuri grinned. The expression shined like a sun breaking through heavy grey clouds, and faded as quickly. "I'll never forget when we first met. Karol and I thought we were going to die in that cell, and he was being an ass about it. 'You think some fucking admiral cares about us fucking grunts, Aoki? Shit. The Alliance is gonna role over these fuckers, and we'll be the fucking first to die. Probably fucking rape us first, though. Fuck.' The homophobic prick. Then you showed up, and walked through our guards like they weren't even there. Karol asked you what you were doing there, and you said—"

"Disobeying orders," Kara said. She recalled the incident with a sense of pride she had never felt for Elysium. The only person who had ever given her anything for her actions that day was sitting beside her, almost five years later. Karol had died on Torfan, during the final assault on the underground base, and her CO, Commander Battur, had wanted to discipline her, but Mission Command quietly overruled him. Two days later, she shot him in the shoulder to save a set of batarian prisoners; Sayuri defended her before the resulting tribunal.

"You were so unconcerned. Some things never change," Sayuri smirked. She sighed, and continued; "I know we were never the best of friends, but I trusted—trust you. From the moment I realized that you came to rescue us against orders. It may take time, and more than a few bad jokes, but I will accept my loss."

"You know I'll help how I can."

"How about finding me a sunny beach, packed with naked, muscular studs?"

The marine's sense of humor had survived the battle, it seemed. "I think I see where this is going," she noted dryly.

"Yeah?" Sayuri grinned. Her eyes dropped, and her expression fell with them. "You're right. Every time I look down and see… this—" she gestured at her missing leg—"all I can think about is a really good lay. I mean, I wanna come so hard I forget to breath."

With her, everything seemed to come back to sex. Kara shook her head, smiling faintly. "I think we could all use a few days leave."

"You… are not Saren."

The glowing red hologram filled the Comm Room's main display. An elongated body, its head marked by segmented tentacles, and a pair of tiny eyes, it reminded her of a kind of cephalopod. Three more tentacles, like legs, were attached on either side of its body. It was a miniature version of Saren's dreadnought, Sovereign.

"Are you some sort of VI?" Tali's voice was clear, filtered only by the translator. It was her suit camera which had recorded the conversation. Kara could see herself, slumped next to the prothean beacon, in the background. Liara was leaning over her.

"Rudimentary creature of blood and flesh. You touch Our mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding."

"I don't think that is a VI," Liara observed.

"There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own you cannot even imagine it. We are beyond your comprehension. We are Sovereign."

"Sovereign? That's Saren's ship. How can—wait, you're a reaper," Liara breathed.

"Reaper. A title given by the protheans to give voice to their destruction. What they chose to call Us is irrelevant. We simply are."

"Weren't the protheans destroyed fifty thousand years ago?" Tali asked, her head turning to follow the Liara, as the asari circled the console.

"Organic life is nothing but a genetic mutation, an accident. Your pitiful existence is measured in years and decades. You wither and die. We are eternal, the pinnacle of evolution and existence. Before Us, you are nothing. We have no beginning, and no end. We are infinite. Millions of years after your civilization has been eradicated and forgotten, We will endure. Your extinction is inevitable. We are the end of everything."

Tali's head turned back to the hologram. "We'll stop you," she insisted, her voice more terrified than confident. Kara couldn't blame her.

"Confidence born of ignorance. The cycle cannot be broken."

"So it is true," Liara interrupted. "The protheans were not the first, and did not construct the relays."

"No. The pattern has repeated more times than you can fathom. Organic civilizations rise, evolve, advance. And at the apex of their glory, they are extinguished. The protheans did not create the Citadel. They did not forge the mass relays. They merely found them, the legacy of my kind."

"That doesn't make any sense," Tali muttered. "Why leave that kind of technology lying around for us to find?"

"Your civilization is based upon the technology of the mass relays. Our technology. By using it, your society develops along the path we desire. We impose order on the chaos of organic evolution. You exist because We allow it; you will end because We demand it."

Tali looked at Liara. The asari's blue eyes were wide with fear as she spoke; "You're harvesting us? Letting us evolve to the level you need, then wiping us out? Why?"

"My kind transcends your very understanding. We are each a nation, independent, free of all weakness; and We are legion. The time of Our return is coming. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world. You cannot escape your doom."

"Shepard," Tali said, as though the name alone were an inspiration; "Kara brought us together to stop Saren. She'll unite the galaxy against you."

The young quarian's faith was touching, but Kara could not help but feel it was misplaced. How could they defeat the enemy that had eradicated nearly every trace of the Prothean Empire? And, if it were to be believed, countless civilizations before that?

"Your words are as empty as your future. We are the vanguard of your destruction. This exchange is over."

The console exploded in a shower of sparks. Kara paused the replay, and reversed several seconds. Sovereign's image again dominated the display. For every question the conversation answered, it added at least a dozen more. She did not believe the rhetoric; nothing was infinite, indestructible, or unknowable. Someone had created the Reapers, and they had done so for a reason. Someone else could destroy them.

The trouble, of course, was that Kara had no means of measuring their strength. That the Citadel and the relays were beyond asari or salarian technology said little about the reapers themselves. How strong were their barriers? What kind of weapons did they have? Could a standard dreadnought destroy Sovereign? Or a fleet? What kind of tactics were effective?

"Captain, the Council is ready to speak with you," Brynja informed her over the comm, interrupting her spiraling thoughts.

"Put them through," Kara replied. It had taken her two days, to get everything she wanted into her report, while the Normandy lingered within range of the comm network, awaiting a destination. Sovereign has passed them, unaware of their presence, which at least revealed the effectiveness of their stealth systems.

The reaper's glowing avatar had disappeared from the display, replaced by the familiar faces of the Council. They had, she guessed, just finished discussing her report, including a summary of what she had seen on Virmire, and the footage from Tali's camera. "Kara," began Adar Tevos, her dark eyes worried, though her voice remained calm. "I wanted to express my sympathy for your losses. We added our personal regrets to the letters you included. They are being sent out as we speak."

"Thank you," Kara nodded. "They were friends. I find myself reminded how much I hate this job."

"We all wish the galaxy was a more peaceful place, Captain," Sparatus said. "I'm sorry. However, we need to discuss these Reapers. Do you have any further information about them?"

"No," Kara sighed. "I am convinced that the vision from the prothean beacons is a warning against the reapers, but the images are still fragmented. It may contain information on how to stop them, if I can find a way to clarify them."

Valern frowned. "You understand there's nothing we can do without more information, yes? Our analysts have already begun work on the data your team recovered from Saren's base. It may take some time. The STG will be sent in to investigate where appropriate, but your skills may be required, as well as your… discretion."

Adar spared an annoyed glance for the salarian, causing him to scowl. Kara suspected that was meant as comment on her detonating a nuclear device on a garden world, but no amount of 'discretion' could have destroyed a hardened installation. She did not feel the need to defend herself on that point, however. Presumably, they had discussed the point on their own, and come to an agreement on how to handle it.

"There is something we'd like you to do, while we wait," the asari said. "We have confirmed reports of geth presence in the Armstrong Cluster, not far from your present location. They have exhibited signs of atypical behavior."

Kara brushed her fingers through her hair. Her first instinct was to refuse. After Virmire, she felt that her crew needed at least a few days leave before they set out on another assignment.

It was also the last thing she wanted; her unwillingness to accept the role of a Spectre had already faded, and here she was considering expanding her efforts to include not just Saren and the Reapers, but the geth. "No. That's not part of my mission."

"Kara, please. We're asking you to investigate their activity, not destroy them. We know next to nothing about their evolution since the Geth Rebellion. We do not even know if they are all working with Saren, or why. Consider this a mission of understanding." The asari matriarch smiled, as though she knew she had already won.

Kara sighed. "Fine, but we need to have a talk about my future as a Spectre. If you want me to stay on after Saren is defeated, there are things to set straight. Now."

"Shepard," Sparatus asked, his mandibles flaring in irritation. "Are you dictating terms? To us?"

"Yes," Kara smirked. She almost hoped they would refuse, and let her get on with her life. "I am."

Kara started, briefly confused, swinging her legs down from her bed. The last few days had been long and tense, but with the ship on course to the Armstrong Cluster, and the crew settling back into a new routine, she had finally found a moment or two for herself. Between a soothing cup of tea, and a tablet full of poetry, she must have dozed off, until the door chime had awoken her.

She set her tablet on the desk, and pulled her shirt closed, doing up the buttons as she crossed the small room. Whoever it was, they were not showing much patience, and she sighed as she released the door lock. She hoped it wasn't another emergency.

As the door opened, she found herself looking into Liara's deep blue eyes. Dressed in another set of thessian attire, the asari looked elegant as always, though her lips were set in a firm line.

"Kara, we need to talk," the asari said, brushing past her.

Kara shut the door, and leaned against the frame, not turning around. Their relationship had been one problem too many, and she had deliberately avoided discussing it, or even thinking about it. It seemed she had run out of time. "Yes."

So the question remained, was she willing to pursue what they had? Sex was one thing, certainly a pleasure, but it did not dominate her life or compromise her judgement. Love was not so easily controlled. She sighed, heavily. "I'm sorry."

"For kissing me, or for avoiding me?"

"Both," she stated, turning about. She would have hardly called it a kiss, but the moment around it had been wonderful. She recalled Liara's hand on her side, soft and warm against her skin, and a sense of peace that had evaded her since. "I can't do this now, Liara. I wish I could, but I can't worry about you and still stop Saren."

"When Ashley ordered us to leave you at the Normandy, Kara, I was terrified," Liara said, seating herself at the desk. Her eyes were downcast, focused on her hands as she spoke. "I knew the geth could find you, or Saren, and that you weren't in any condition to resist, but I went, because I knew you'd expect me to. I can handle this."

Kara approached the asari. She had been mostly concerned with herself, but they were both vulnerable. She slid her hand under Liara's chin, lifting her face, and smiled sadly. "I'm not sure I can."

Liara stood, catching Kara's hand in a firm grip. "I am," she insisted, moving slowly closer. "I've never felt like this before, and I do not intend to let it go for fear of loss."

More than anything, Liara's eyes revealed how vulnerable she felt. That said a great deal about how strongly she felt, and it set Kara's heart pounding.

She had a weakness for bold moves by introverts. They raised memories of her first real kiss, which had more than taken her by surprise. "Liara…"

Kara raised her right hand, palm towards the asari. It was a gesture of consent, and a question; how far should we go?

Liara responded by taking her hand, fingers entwined in a tight, warm grip. Her free hand slid up, behind Kara's back, pulling them into an embrace. They passed a few moments flirting around a kiss, giddy with anticipation.

Finally, their lips met. It was not the most skilled kiss Kara had ever enjoyed, but it was slow and passionate, and that counted for much.

"Oh," Liara breathed, backing off after several minutes. Her fear had vanished, replaced by wonder. "Kara…"

"You need more practice," Kara teased, speaking the asari's native Thessíe as she raising a hand to brush against her cheek.

"I'm sorry, I—" Liara began, cutting herself off with a look of embarrassed realization. Spending time around Sayuri had clearly helped her sense of humor. Her second kiss was firmer, and less tense, spreading a tingling warmth through Kara's body.

This time, Kara broke the kiss. She preferred to take things slow, enjoying the process of growing a relationship, not just the end result. That Liara still held her right hand suggested similar feelings.

"Kara," Liara said, backing off a half-step, though not letting go of her hand. "I was thinking earlier… have you been able to make sense of the messages from the beacons?"

"No," Kara admitted. Time had not offered clarity, but she had been busy. "Not yet."

Liara's eyes had grown evasive again, and she rubbed gently at Kara's hand. "I though, maybe if you shared them with me… I do know more about the protheans than you. Maybe that's why Saren sent geth to capture me."

"That's an interesting theory," Kara said. What Liara suggested, she though, was to bridge their minds, essentially sharing thoughts and memories. She had joined with an asari once before, a powerful experience that, in many ways, was far more intimate than sex. She feel ready to join with Liara, but she also felt that interpreting the visions was important to stopping the reapers. "If you think it will help."

Liara nodded, and led her to the narrow bed. They sat facing one another, and the asari placed her hand on Kara's cheek.

The world around them seemed to slow; and everything fell away.

Note: Some changes. I felt Kara was too emotional in the recovery scene, which made it both heavy handed and out of character, and her original instinct on reading the casualty reports in private was reversed. An expanded quarian verse in sickbay.

The conversations with Kirrahe and Keyx were moved forward, with the salarian being slightly more reluctant to sign on. Not much change with the Council, but Liara's scene was entirely rewritten.

I'll be back when the next chapter is ready. Thanks for reading.