The day of the mission came and Walter's grin had never been wider. He stood between two curtained areas rubbing his hands together with glee.
"Miss Seras, Mr. Nate I have finished your apparel for the evening. Miss Seras yours is on the left and Mr. Nate's is on the right," Walter directed.
I pulled the curtain aside and stepped in. A suit of plate mail armor rested on a mahogany rack. A pair of black boots and leather trousers lay on a chair. Holy cow! This looks like real metal! I donned the equipment with little trouble. I struggled with the leather codpiece, but I worked it out eventually. A bandolier of heavy throwing knives completed the ensemble. Flinging the curtain aside dramatically, I re-entered the room.
"Very nice," Walter observed, "just a few finishing touches and we're done." He fastened a black cloak around my shoulders and placed Hackmaster on my back. Walter picked up a darkened steel gauntlet and chainsaw. "Now, for authenticity's sake, I'm going to have to amputate your left forearm. It will grow back afterwards, at least I think it will. Hold still and this won't take long." I backed up, waving my hands in fear while Walter revved up the saw and advanced purposefully.
"I'm just kidding; Alucard made me promise to scare you like that," Walter laughed heartily. He handed me the gauntlet and helped me to fasten it securely on my left forearm, attaching a wide metal band around my bicep.
"This thing is incredible! It's metal but it doesn't hinder my mobility at all. You're a genius Walter," I exclaimed.
"Well, I try," Walter said self-consciously. "The armor is quarter-inch thick Buckminsterfullerene; the most stable molecule known to man. It's strong enough to stop an armor-piercing bullet from a 50-caliber machine gun without a scratch. Your boots and trousers are lined with Kevlar fibers. Despite its bulk, you'll find that this armor affords you an unprecedented level of mobility."
Mistress poked her head out of the curtains. "Ummm... Walter? I've got a bit of a problem here, I can't find the rest of my costume."
Walter looked puzzled. "Really? It was on the mannequin..."
"I'm wearing what was on the mannequin," Mistress countered.
"That's the costume, come on out and show us how it looks," Walter prodded.
"THIS IS IT! No way, No how. I'm not leaving this curtain, let alone the mansion. Nate, you go without me."
"Come on, Mistress it can't be that bad." I grabbed her curtain and pulled it aside. My eyes widened and my face reddened. My sudden nosebleed launched my head backwards and knocked me on my back. I stood up and took another look.
White shoes shaped like cat's paws merged with leggings that reached mid-thigh. The remainder of the outfit consisted of arm-length white gloves that terminated in paws, a few strips of strategically placed cloth, and a hair band sporting a pair of cat ears. Everything was skintight. I had to pinch my nose to keep from being knocked backwards again.
"Oh, Mr. Nate your codpiece came loose," Walter observed. I spun away and fixed it hurriedly.
"I can't go anywhere dressed like this!" Mistress protested.
"You didn't have to be so thorough Walter, they're only costumes after all," I commented.
"I either do it right or I don't do it at all. There is NO middle ground. Miss Seras, you'll find that your paws contain retractable silver claws for close combat purposes; just twist your wrists twice rapidly to extend or conceal them."
Walter handed Mistress a smallish box slightly larger than a paperback novel. She opened it and removed a snubby five cylinder revolver.
"Your fight with Anderson made me realize that you need more than the Harkonnen for battle. This is the Sanzo. It's capable of holding five armor-piercing rounds. The Sanzo is remarkably accurate, despite its short barrel. To minimize reload times, I've designed a special bullet caddy to load all five bullets at once." Walter positively beamed as Mistress examined her gift.
The final step was dyeing hair. Walter colored mine black and Mistress' a bright blue. Walter performed a final check and pronounced everything was in order. Before Mistress and I passed through the door, I gave Walter a thumbs-up.
"Way to go, ya dirty old man," I grinned.
I turned back around and received eight criss-crossing scratches on my face.
"Auuuugh! What was that?" I whimpered.
"The claws work," Mistress said matter-of-factly.
"Cat scratch fever?" Walter offered as he closed the door.
Pip was leaning on the limousine, smoking. He looked at Mistress and his cigarette tumbled from his mouth.
"Rowr," he said with a sly look.
I put a hand on Hackmaster and a glare on my face. Pip got the hint and dove into the driver's seat. I opened the door for Mistress and she entered the car, taking care that her tail wouldn't get stuck in the door.
I tried to get in, but Hackmaster got stuck on the doorframe. Pip popped the trunk and I placed Hackmaster in lengthwise. As soon as I got back in, we were off. Mistress and I made small talk to pass the time; I took care to avert my eyes so Mistress wouldn't be get angry or embarrassed.
"Is it really that bad?" Mistress asked after a while.
"Is what that bad?" I wondered.
"Do I look that bad?"
"Of course not; you look fantastic! Why'd you think otherwise?"
"Because you haven't looked at me since we got in the car."
"I'm just uh... enjoying the scenery."
"I can read your mind you know."
"I'm trying to be a gentleman."
"I don't mind, as long as it's you."
I looked over at Mistress. Her face still held a hint of redness, but it was fading. Mistress unbuckled her safety belt and scooted over. She took my chin in her left hand and leaned close. Her thumb brushed my upper lip.
"What the?" I stuttered.
"There was a spot of blood on your lip, what were you thinking?" Mistress asked.
"You were so close that..."
"Now don't you go getting any funny ideas!"
"I wasn't!"
"Good, because it's kind of strange."
Mistress still hadn't moved back to her seat during the exchange.
"Mistress, aren't you going to sit back down?" I questioned.
"Yes, I'm going to do it right now." Mistress replied, still not moving.
Mistress' face turned a gentle rosy color and I felt my face doing the same. Slowly, we moved closer.I can't believe it! This is really happening! YESSSS! There was a knock on the window dividing the driver's seat from the passenger section. It rolled down and Pip stuck his head through the opening.
"We have arrived and... " Pip began.
Dammit! Mistress returned to her seat, acting as if nothing had happened. I grabbed Hackmaster from the trunk and went to open the door for Mistress. I slammed the door so hard that the car rocked back and forth.
"Give me a call and I'll pick you up," Pip assured, "lucky peegdog."
"10-4 froggie," I retorted.
I rushed to rejoin Mistress, who had already reached the enormous front doors. The mansion was almost as impressive as the Hellsing mansion was. At least five floors high with intricate stonework and columns, it was a marvel of old-world architecture. A muscular guardsman dressed in an expensive suit and carrying a heavy pistol stood just outside the open doors.
"Name," he demanded, consulting a clipboard.
"We're here on behalf of Integra Hellsing," Mistress told him as she handed him the invitation. The guard examined it closely and waved us in.
A series of velvet ropes guided us to the ballroom. As we walked, I couldn't shake a nagging feeling that I was forgetting something.
"What's on your mind this time?" Mistress inquired.
"I feel like I know this Erik guy from somewhere but I can't put my finger on it. It's buggin' the heck out of me," I answered.
"Maybe, or it could be that he reminds you of someone."
"Eh, you could be right."
Another pair of guards motioned us into the party. The ballroom was the size of a high school gymnasium. Huge windows dominated the northern wall, lined with gold leaf. A mural depicting mankind's technological advances stretched over the remaining three walls. Lighting the room was an elegant crystal chandelier the size of a Cadillac. The guests wore a dazzling array of costumes ranging from old-school to cutting edge. Midgets dressed as Puchuus carried trays of refreshments throughout the crowd.
"Ready, set, mingle!" I declared as Mistress slipped her right arm through my left, setting my face ablaze again.
We strode through the crowd, chit-chatting with people whose costumes we found interesting. I was amazed at how young many of these people were. I thought stockholders were mostly rich old coots, but there can't be a single person here over 30! I put the notion aside and continued on.
I heard a knock on my shoulder plate and turned around to face a burly black man with an earring.
"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to give me your weapon for the evening; some of the guests are...concerned." He held his hands out expectantly.
"Oh come on!" I gripped Hackmaster's handle and waved it around wildly. Mistress hopped back to avoid being chopped. "There's no way I could do this with a real metal sword this size, right? It's perfectly safe."
"Ooh, big man got a big knife! I wanna see!" Without warning I felt something collide with my back and coil around my torso.
"AAAAAAGH! It's got me, HELP!" I yelled, swinging Hackmaster even more wildly. CLANG! Hackmaster's motion came to an abrupt halt. Nervously I glanced down to see one of the Puchuu-clad waiters collapsed on the floor, a glass of wine spilled on his face.
"Why you kill me so easy?" it asked in a low voice before passing out.
"Oops." I looked around sheepishly. The large man blinked and shook his head before heading to the bar. I turned my attention to my passenger, her cheek pressed against mine. "Can I help you?"
"I like men in tight leather pants!" she announced.
"Sorry, kid; I'm not into jail bait," I declined.
"I'm not a kid!" she huffed. I felt her arms and legs release and she flipped over my head to land gracefully in front of me. She wore a bright yellow top and baggy beige pants with one leg showing from the knee down. Her eyes were as green as Anderson's, but with none of the malice. Two parallel scratch-like marks ran across her right cheek. Looking closely I could see she wasn't a child, but an attractive, willowy young woman. "I'm a sexy lady!"
"The cute voice kind of spoils the image," Mistress said cattily.
"You're just jealous!" she retorted with a flick of her bright orange hair.
Before this could escalate into a full blown catfight, I grasped Mistress' arm and led her away as quickly as I dared. I felt a pinch on my backside and I whirled around to see the girl give me a coquettish wink and disappear into the crowd.
Mistress eventually cooled down and we decided to get back to the mission. We saw a large circle of people and Mistress thought it likely that Erik was there. When we managed to jostle through the mob, we saw that it wasn't our target in the center, it was a group of people dancing wildly.
"Ooh, breakdancing!" Mistress exclaimed. When she saw my quizzical look, she clarified. "I may not look it, but I used to be great at this in high school. I wonder if I can still do it..." Without another word Mistress sprang into the circle.
I watched, gaping. Mistress moved in ways I didn't know physically possible. The rapid spins and leaps produced some fascinating effects. Every male eye was glued to Mistress and several men got a sharp swat on the head from their wives/girlfriends. Mistress launched into an eye-popping worm dance that had me pinching my nose to stop the bleeding. Lightning quick, Mistress stood on her head and started to spin rapidly; her tail making it look like she was going even faster. As her momentum wound down, she unfolded into a seductive lounging pose and rested her chin in her hand.
Thunderous applause erupted all around. Mistress was mobbed instantly by her adoring public. It took me quite a while and more than a few jabs in the kidneys to muscle through the crowd. When I'd finally dispersed the crowd, a single man strode up to us, clapping politely.
He stood as tall as me, with spiky bleached hair contained by a broad metallic headband. A minute pair of orange-shaded spectacles perched on his nose, not obscuring his goldenrod eyes with catlike pupils. Broad shoulder plates held a violet cloak closed around him so it was impossible to determine his build. I thrust my hand high into the air.
"Hail Ilpalazzo!" I proclaimed loudly.
"Holy cow; Nate is that you?" Ilpalazzo inquired.
"How'd you know my name?"
"Don't you recognize me? It's Erik!"
"Waitaminit...Erik? Whoa! What're you doin' here, man?"
"Well it is my party, it'd be impolite not to come."
My jaw dropped like a rock. "You're the head of Evantech? Man, I thought you'd be too scatterbrained to pull something like this off. Kinda makes me and my job look pathetic."
"I just saw an opportunity and took it; no big deal. What do you do nowadays? Space exploration? Medicine? How'd you get that scar on your eye?"
"Well, would you believe that I'm a member of a secret army dedicated to the eradication of vampires and got this from a fight with a mad Irish priest?" Mistress tightened her grip on my arm and stamped on my foot.
"HA HA HA! Good one, man. You haven't changed at all; seriously what's up with you now?"
"I work in private security; Sir Integra Hellsing's my boss and couldn't make it so I'm here on her behalf."
A deeply tanned woman emerged from the crowd and moved close to Erik. Her hair was pale, almost white, but she couldn't have been much older than me. She wore a light blue jacket, open in front to reveal a black boustier. Short pants the same hue as the jacket and a pair of black boots completed the outfit.
"Oh, where are my manners? This is my wife, Sayoko. We met last year on one of my business trips to Japan. She's an absolute wizard when it comes to business strategies and the like. Sayoko, this's my friend Nate."
Sayoko held her hand out and I shook it lightly. Mistress cleared her throat loudly.
"Well, I guess I should introduce my...uh...my..." I stuttered.
"I'm his wife, Seras. Nice to meet you Erik, Sayoko." Mistress smiled as she greeted them both. My knees buckled and only Mistress' support kept me upright.
"Well how do you like that, you get married and don't even send me an e-mail about it!" Erik pouted.
"Oh, you're one to talk. You not only got married, you're filthy rich and nobody bothered to tell me!" I asserted.
"How often do you check your e-mail?"
"Uh..."
"Thought so."
"Geez, you sound like my mother."
"You never told your mom?"
"That's beside the point, Erik."
Erik and I moved off to catch up on old times while Mistress and Sayoko started chatting like lifelong friends. After a while, I decided to get down to business.
"Hey, Erik, what sort of gadgets do you make?"
"Prosthetics mostly; we also dabble in physical augmentation and...oh hang on a sec." He scurried away and grabbed a microphone from inside his voluminous cape. "Ladies, gentlemen, and all those in between, I'd like to thank you for coming tonight. Due to your generous support, Evantech has surpassed the 1.1 billion mark." Everyone applauded the announcement. "But you all know that. This is just my little way of thanking you all. Let's get to the dancin'!"
Before I could snag Erik again, the lights dimmed and music began to play. I returned to Mistress to give her a report. I couldn't even open my mouth before she grasped my left hand and placed my right on her hip.
"We'd stand out if we just stood still; what did you learn?" Mistress probed.
"A whole lot of nothing. Did you get anything out of Sayoko?" I asked.
"No such luck. We may have to resort to more aggressive information gathering methods if things keep going this way."
Needless to say I wasn't thrilled about the idea of doing things this way. He was my friend, after all. While we thought on the subject, Erik and Sayoko appeared from the crowd.
"Good grief!" Erik exclaimed, "What's up with you two, you're a mile away from each other!" He nudged me roughly and the space between Mistress and me disappeared. "You guys are a great couple, don't be afraid to be close."
Swell, as if things weren't awkward enough.
Before I could open my mouth to reply, Erik and Sayoko were gone. I heard a sharp intake of breath and saw Mistress clench her teeth.
"What? What?" I panicked.
"Your armor's cold!" Mistress panted.
"Sorry! I'll scoot back."
"Actually, it's warming up so don't worry about it." With that, Mistress laid her head on my shoulder. I got lost in the moment; time had no meaning. I inhaled Mistress' delicate scent and drifted in absolute bliss. It felt like we were the only people on Earth. A knock on my breastplate snapped me out of my reverie. "I hate to interrupt, but we have a situation." I turned my head around and saw Pip.
"Dammit Pip, I'm busy! Don't you have a battle to surrender or something?"
A pair of guards came up and took Pip by the arms roughly. Erik squeezed through the crowd, looking indignant.
"What is the meaning of this?" he demanded.
"Nothing important; he's just my servant. This had better be important, Pip." I snarled.
"Zere's a large group of..."
A loud crash interrupted Pip's explanation. Every head in the room swivelled up to witness the glass ceiling shatter. Numerous black-clad forms dropped to the floor, brandishing weapons. A guard stomped toward them, only to be cut down mercilessly. The pieces of guard hit the floor with a smack, and chaos erupted.
Guardsmen swarmed in and surrounded the intruders, guns drawn. After the first guard had been killed, none of the invaders had moved.
"Identify yourselves or we'll have no choice but to open fire!" the captain of the guard demanded. Tense seconds passed, but no answer came. "FIRE AT WILL!" bellowed the captain.
Muzzle flashes from dozens of guns created a blazing ring around the trespassers. Their bodies twitched with every impact. Several limbs plopped to the ground and the barrage halted abruptly. After a few seconds, the bodies quivered; one by one they rose to their feet. When the last had reassembled himself, their charge began.
The flabbergasted guardsmen were unable to defend themselves against the blitzkrieg. Bodies were crushed by vicious clubs and limbs were severed by merciless blades. What few guests that hadn't fled now ran for their very lives.
"Showtime!" I whooped, and took Hackmaster in both hands.
A nice big chapter for you. The next one's gonna be rather messy, so stay tuned!