The first time anyone from school—Beck and Cat weren't just "from school"-ever saw my wounded butterflies was when we were trapped in Beck's trailer. Shorts usually cover the tat, but I was l was lying on the floor and the shorts had ridden up. Andre was the first to notice, and I sort of wanted to slap him for what he said. I was too hot to expend any extra energy at the moment, though.

"Jade, what's that on your thigh? Did your sweat make your shorts leak some of that black dye? Maybe it's ultra-concentrated weird or something, since you don't usually sweat."
"No! Stop looking at my thigh." Exhaustion made my voice lack some of its usual venom. After a moment I added, "It's a tattoo."
"What's it a tattoo of? Can I see it?"
"No."
"Hey, your star thing is cool. It's not like you're gonna get a crappy or cliché tattoo." I almost forgave Andre for his earlier remark about my sweat. Still, I'm not the type to show people personal stuff.

"I want to see." Robbie was being obnoxious, as usual. "It would be nice to have something hot to take my mind off how hot I am."
"There are so many things wrong with that sentence, I am not even going to go there." Beck shook his head.
"I just meant-"
"Just be quiet, Robbie. You'll only make it worse." Vega—the younger Vega who possessed some modicum of talent—was almost cutting. I would have been proud, if I cared about her.
"Seriously, Robbie, I do not want to know if you think I'm hot." I curled my lip, and left it at that.

A few hours later, though, after we'd gotten out of that hellhole—literally, I swear it was as hot as hell inside the RV that day—the prospect of cooling off drove me towards the ocean. The prospect of encountering dolphins and other denizens of the sea, however, kept me out of any water that went over my ankles.

I continued to gulp water from the cold bottle I had retrieved from Beck's cooler, content to just get my feet wet and feel a little spray on my legs. I couldn't help that my eyes kept wandering over the water around me, checking for fins.
Vega—not the one no one likes, the other one, whom some people apparently like—noticed. "Did you know sharks only kill five people a year? C'mon, don't be a scaredy cat. There are no sharks here."
"I think shark teeth would feel good. I would relish the sight of one or two people here being devoured by one. That's not my problem. I just don't like the ocean. It's filled with trash and fish pee."

She took a few steps away, a grimace on your face. "Geez, you don't have to spoil it for the rest of us."
I smirked at her, taking a few steps towards her, and she turned around, moving a little faster than was absolutely necessary to join Cat in a splash fight further offshore.

The water was about up to my knees. While I had to admit, it felt good, I was heading back to shallow water where I didn't offer anything much to so-called "friendly" animals. I had the misfortune, however, to be hit by one of those freak waves that are taller than the rest.
I swore, because now my shorts were wet, and I hate wet clothes.

Wet bathing suits are bad enough, but at least they dry in a timely manner. Cotton shorts stay wet and clammy for ages if you keep them on. So I had to lay them out to dry on my beach towel. Which meant that there was no longer anything covering my tattoo. Which meant I was going to grit my teeth and wade in up to my waist, and cling to Beck, because dorks like Trina and Robbie and people I abhorred like Tori did not have my permission to see my tattoo. Except Tori got to me first, before I could get to the deep water.

"Finally decided to join us? Hey, Jade, let's see that tattoo!" She hurried over to where I stood in water up to my knees, trying to convince myself to go deeper.
"Get away from me!" I snarled, but she didn't pay attention. One of those habits of hers I hated.
She scrutinized the ink for several moments, then met my gaze again with her "weirded out" expression. It made her look utterly insipid.
"That is very disturbing," she said at the same time I asked her, "Are you done yet?"
We stared at each other for a second or two before Andre walked up.
"You two okay?"
"She insists on staring at me. I'm starting to question her sexuality," I leveled at Vega even as she sniped, "I now have further confirmation Jade has serious issues."
"What?" Andre looked back and forth between us. "Hell no. I am not getting into this."

"She has frickin' dead butterflies on her leg!" The brunette gestured towards my thigh. "Tell me how that is not a sign of something wrong in her head!"
"What?" Andre looked down, tilting his head to the side and slowly frowning. "That's a little messed up, Jade."
"Why do you care?" I growled at him—usually I liked Beck's good friend, because usually he was cool. Not right now.
He held his hands up in a "surrender" gesture. "It's none of my business. It's a cool tattoo—I mean if you like it, why not?"
"Thank you." I rolled my eyes. Seriously, did everyone have to make such a big deal out of it?

"Hey, what's up?" Beck laced his fingers through mine, and I idly wondered what had taken him so long to get over here.
"Have you seen your girlfriend's tattoo?" Apparently the thing really got under Tori's skin. Of course that made me like it even more. Maybe I should flaunt it a little more often.
"Um… yeah?"
"Does that not give you any cause for concern?"
"No..."
The answer apparently exasperated Vega, who shook her head and walked away.
"You see why I don't like her, right?"
"Babe, let's not start this now."
"Yeah, c'mon Jade, Tori's cool."

I took my hand out of Beck's to count the reasons off on my fingers. "She has no concept of personal space—I'm sure you remember the way she was practically groping me in the Asphalt Cafe the other day. She's already taken one lead role from me that an amateur didn't deserve. She's always trying to make me look bad—such as just now—I'm pretty sure she's after you, Beck—and you just go with it! And she can't just come in here and be friends with my friends and act like she belongs!" My voice was showing my agitation more than I had intended as it rose in volume.

"Oh God, not this again. Jade, Jade, listen to me." Beck wasn't getting it. I hated when he didn't get it.
"Jade, you made yourself look bad with that stupid prank you pulled during the stage fighting class. But she didn't turn you in. And she helped you get back together with Beck. She can't want him that badly." Andre always stuck up for Tori. I was almost sure he had some sort of crush on her, even if he wasn't aware of it.

Sure, he had a point. And I knew I was overreacting. But I couldn't back down without losing face. I couldn't say what was really bothering me about her out loud, either, without looking like a wimp. Without people realizing I actually care about some things.
You see, Victoria Vega was the girl everyone liked. She was just sort of naturally sweet and helpful. Hell, even I'd taken advantage of that once or twice. I might have been okay with her, though I still despise "sweetness", if I hadn't been introduced to her as "the new school star, the special girl, who was rubbing my boyfriend and smiling at him like that". Andre was already her BFF and champion from the start, and Beck was extra friendly to her.
In the back of my mind was the idea that one day Beck might wake up, might realize that he should enjoy his life without having to deal with all of our problems, and I somehow knew Tori would be the girl he went to if that ever happened. And Cat was—well, she was sometimes more like a pet than a friend, but even the only girl I came close to considering a best friend loved Tori.

Simply put, Vega had already, within the space of a few months, put herself in the position to take most of the few people I sort-of cared about away from me, and I didn't seem to be able to stop her.
That scared me.

"Jade, this was meant to be a nice day at the beach. If you're not going to play nice, then you can go sit by yourself." Beck pointed back towards our towels.
"Go play with your new crush, then!" I shouted at him. "Go! Run!"
"I don't have a crush on anyone, Jade. How many times do I have to tell you, so that you get it into that thick skull of yours?!" Beck shouted right back at me.
Water sloshed around Andre's ankles as he stepped back from us. "I'm just gonna, just gonna go over there..." We both paid him no attention.
"Maybe it would be easier to get into my so-called thick skull if you actually acted like that was true! If you didn't so obviously enjoy the attention. If you didn't invite them to hang out. If you didn't-"
"I'm a friendly guy. So sue me! If I wasn't, we wouldn't be together either. And nobody else could stand you."
That smarted. "Like I care if people like me!" But he knew me too well by now—I could hear the slight waver in my voice, and I knew he could, too. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at me.

Still, I wasn't giving in. Not after that. So I turned my back and made my way down the beach, away from the group, and sat down in shallow water, letting it lap at my legs.

My butterflies were dark on the insanely pale skin I'd made sure to slather lots of sunblock on. Usually I wasn't into self-harm—more harm of others—but looking at it I wondered how the luna moth would look with a little more blood on it.