Dean's POV
If I had to make a prediction this will go down as the worst nights of my fathering career. The worst in my hunting is the night Sam died. The worst in my husband is the night Lara died. The worst in my parenting... the night I told my daughter just how fucked up the world is.
Tonight was supposed to be a nice relaxed evening. Lara and I had the grandkids all weekend and I was really looking forward to spending the evening naked in between the sheets with her body spread out under me. Instead I am telling my youngest kid about our horrible past. Maybe we should have told them all the truth before now. But Lara and I did not want them to know all the dark stuff in our past. It was hard enough telling Lara about all the souls I ripped apart and tortured in hell. It was hard enough dealing with Sammy starting the apocalypse. It was hard enough fighting heaven and hell and now I have to share it with my daughter? Let her know I have died more times than I can count and have seen and done such horrible things that I thank my lucky stars every day that Lara can look past it and still love me.
Lara is curled into my and I can tell she is going to need to fall apart later tonight. This was just as hard on her. She has never told any of our children except Ben about her past. Even then all Ben knows is what he heard as a child. We never sat him down and fully explained what that meant. Her dreams have gotten better over the years and it is something manageable now unlike when I first found her. Even after John brought her back the night terrors of what Crowley did to her kept her up for years. We have healed and moved past all that to have to open the wounds again now. But we have too, our daughter has to know what she is signing up for.
It's the middle of the night now, the clock reads 2:58 am, even though it feels like we have been sitting at this table for years. The bottle of bourbon is almost empty and we all have well used glasses in front of us. Even Balthazar has been drinking even if it doesn't affect him. We have just one more hurdle to go over with Daphne, her birth.
We have managed to go through Lara's childhood or lack thereof, my child hood, my deal, the apocalypse, meeting Lara, her getting taken by demons, the Raphael debacle along with a side trip to a post apocalyptic world, hell we even explained the other path that our family was supposed to live, we just have one last one. Honestly this is one we should have told her already. It affects her so greatly.
I pull Lara into my side tighter. I need her for this and I know she will need me. Daphne looks up at me with red rimmed eyes that look so much like her mother's I want to keep this from her to just protect her but I can't. Not if she wants to go into this world. She needs to know. "Honey we have one more thing to tell you." I say as calmly as possible.
Balthazar drops his cup and puts his head in his hands. "Do we have too?" He mumbles out loud. Despite the fact our daughter is furious with us and Balthazar her big heart gets the better of her and she puts her arm around the angel. "What's wrong?"
He looks up at her then meets my gaze. "Your siblings might remember this time well, I know John and Ben do, the others had nightmares for years but I think they are over it. There was a time we thought you and your mom were gone from us for good." He responds to her cryptically. Bastard is going to make us do it.
"Honey it's a very dark time for all of us. I don't want you to get upset though because as you can see we are all safe now." Lara tells her reaching out for her hand. "The day after I found out I was finally pregnant with you Crowley took me from my car and tethered me to a table for months, I was there almost your entire pregnancy minus the last hour. He tortured me on the table trying to make me cave and allow him to possess me so he could open purgatory but I fought and stayed strong for you. I didn't know what would happen to you if I allowed him in. Everyone searched for us but he had warded us so well no one could find us. Crowley got well he got... um desperate to make me say yes. A few hours before I was rescued well...you see he..." Lara starts to clam up and I can hear the tears in her throat. I pull her head to my chest and kiss the top her head and hold her for a moment before I pick up where she left off.
I can't believe I have to tell her this. "Daphne, while you were still in your mom Crowley started to pump you and your mom with his demon blood." I stop for a moment to let her soak it in. Her face pales and I know she is in shock. "I'm a demon?" She asks confused.
Balthazar jumps and kneels down next to her. "No, God no Daphne. I kept that from happening. You are pure and perfect. There isn't a trace of demon blood left in you. We made sure of it. We worked so hard to make you pure and it even killed..." He stops quickly realizing what was about to say.
"It killed who?" No one responds and Daphne looks around the room and locks eyes with me knowing I will level with her. "Who did it kill daddy?"
I take in a deep breath and feel Lara's tears start to saturate my shirt and feel her sob racked chest against mine "When I found your mom John was with me and the sight was so terrifying to him that he lost control of his grace and killed every demon there. At first I almost didn't recognize her the only things I could recognize was your mom's eyes. Crowley had branded her and carved ownership spells all over her body. When we got you both home Gabriel tried to heal her but the spells along with the blood kept you or your mom from healing. Your mom decided to let Balthazar possess her so he could explode his grace in her to purify you. It wasn't enough though. Gabriel had to possess her as well to keep her filled with enough grace to get you out. Balthazar left a chunk of his grace in you and was actually in you while you were born to make sure none of the blood was left in your system. Shortly after you were born your mom died, her body unable to withstand the trauma."
No one speaks for a minute. The only sound in the room is that of Lara crying. Daphne's jaw is dropped and she is even more pale if that is possible. "I almost died from demon blood?" She chokes out. "Mom died to save me?"
Lara moves quickly and runs to Daphne's side and pulls her in a tight hug. "Honey you did not hurt me. You were my entire world in there, the only reason I didn't give in and go crazy. I was going to die regardless and I told them to do what it took to keep you safe. Balthazar managed that and I will be forever in his debt for that. The moment I held you was one of the most magical moments of my life. You were so little, so much smaller than your brothers. I had just a few minutes with you before I had to put you in your guardians arms. I knew he would take care of you while I couldn't. When I died all of the beautiful and precious moments of my life flashed before me. When I found out I was pregnant with you, when I told your father about it, when I held you for the first time were all there. " Daphne cries quietly while Lara comforts her.
"So there is no blood left in me?" Daphne asks us all. Lara shakes her head no. "I can assure you there is nothing left in you. I won't lie though you are different then you would have been in the other plane. Your eyes and hair turned black in the womb. When Balthazar put his grace in you it was enough to fix your eyes but your hair never lightened and it stayed black, but I swear that you are fine."
"What happened then? How did you get back?" Daphne's voice cracks with each word she speaks. Lara looks at me and smiles. "I was in heaven for about a month before your brother John gave up on waiting on the system and he just went up there and got me. We managed to come up with a story that authorities and the town believed and I haven't left you kids once since then."
Daphne pushes back from the table, away from her mom and away from Balthazar. "You all lied to me. You kept this from me. You kept who I am from me." She starts to stumble out of the room and Balthazar goes to follow her but she stops and glares at him. "Not now, just not now." Then she leaves the kitchen. We all hear her run up the stairs and slam her bedroom door shut.
We all sit around the table and look at each other. Lara grabs my hand and squeezes it tight. "That was more difficult than I thought it would be." I let out a sigh and chuckle a bit. "Yeah that was worse." I don't know how I can laugh but its either that or cry.
"I should have told her. She won't ever forgive me." Balthazar says to himself more than to us. Lara shakes her head no. "No we did the right thing. I couldn't have put that on her as a child. She will forgive us, she is too much like her dad not to." She says with a elbow nudge to my chest.
"Besides Daphne is strong, she won't let this change her and if I know my little girl the way I think I do I know that this won't stop her from wanting to hunt." I know Lara is right about that but I can still hope. Lara flashes me a look knowing what I am thinking. We've spent so long together that we just know what the other is thinking. "Dean we all know that this is what Daphne wants and nothing is going to stop her. She did everything you asked her and she still wants it. And I have a feeling after tonight she will want it even more." I know Lara is right but let me pretend for a moment that my little girl will not become a hunter but something safe like a librarian or something.
Balthazar looks up at us with a quizzical look. "Castiel is here, why would she call Cas?" We both shrug our shoulders unsure why Daphne would choose Castiel for comfort over any of us but she knows what she needs.
I stand up and extend my hand to help Lara to her feet. "Balthazar we are exhausted and are going to head to bed. Feel free to wait down here until Daphne has calmed down. Otherwise we'll see you in the late morning, no scratch that make it the afternoon."
Lara follows me up the stairs and we both pause for a second to hear the muffled talking behind Daphne's door but we allow her privacy and continue into our room. We change quickly giving each other come hither stares and both let out a sigh as we fall into bed.
While we were down stairs I was worried that this would break Lara. We don't talk about the past much anymore. We have had such a great life and we have such a promising future that we just don't focus on it much. We have our children, our grand children, Sammy and his family, we even have young hunters that come in and out our lives. But through it all she may have cried but she never broke. My Lara is so strong it amazes me sometimes like right now. We just rehashed the worse moments of our lives but now she is ready to shed it and focus on all the amazing parts of it.
"So not that the way I figured out evening would go." I complain to Lara. She chuckles and roll on her side and looks at me. "How did you think the evening would go?" She asks me.
"Well for one I thought we'd have a nice calm dinner with Daphne then we would spend the rest of the night alone in bed." I sigh out, still a bit frazzled from the course of the evenings events.
I feel movement next to me but don't open my eyes yet until I feel a familiar weight straddling me. "What kind of things were you planning on doing alone in bed Dean?" She purrs out seductively into my ear. I turn my head and kiss her lips, grabbing her and pulling her even closer into my body.
"I planned on loving your body thoroughly quite a few times before dawn." I murmur into her lips between kisses. She chuckles and kisses me back. " I think we still have time to do that before dawn."
I flip us over and cover her with my body and start to make good on my promise. I plan on thoroughly loving her at least twice before the sun comes up. It's been years and I have loved her in every position imaginable, on every surface of our home and some of our families homes, even the cars but I still want her. I want her just as much now as the moment I took her to bed the first time. I know it will never change and that she is all I need.