Joey's P.O.V

"Hello, Joey Tribbiani," a man sat in the front row of the seats speaks to me as I walk into the auditorium and up the steps that lead onto the stage. "My name is Dereck Brown, I am the director of the production."

He also points out the people sat next to him, other members of the writing and casting team, but if I'm honest, I don't catch their names; I'm too busy trying not to pass out with nerves, and doing my best not to touch my hair.

"So, Joey, do you think you have a chance of getting this leading part in my musical?" Dereck Brown asks me, snapping me back to reality.

"Yes. I do," I say, doing my best to show confidence and sincerity. "I love acting, it's my whole life, and I think I'm good enough."

"That's good to hear, but it is down to us to decide."

"Of course," I add quickly, not wanting to sound arrogant.

"Ok, let's start with the song, shall we?" Mr. Brown smiles at me encouragingly as the pianist plays the introduction to my audition piece.

It goes ok - sure, I am a little shaky to start off with, but by the end, I have got into the song well and hit all the high notes with ease. And somehow, I manage to not touch or pull my hair once. When I finish, the director applauds me vigorously.

"Very nice! Ok, and now onto the acting. Are you ready to perform your first speech?" he asks.

I nod, walking to the back of the stage, taking deep breaths.

You're not Joey anymore. You're Sebastian. You just want to find Viola, to reunite with her. And Sebastian doesn't pull out his own hair.

Then I hurry forwards, crying out to a crowd that is not there to listen: "Where is she? Where is my sister?"

I don't mess up at all during the speech. My acting is better than it ever has been before. I feel so happy and free playing the part of Sebastian - I forget all my worries, the world doesn't seem to matter anymore. I am somebody else in this moment, and that is all I care about.

"Nothing will stop me in my quest to find Viola. Nothing!" I finally shout. The director and writers are on their feet, cheering at my performance. I blush a little, taking a small bow. I can't wait to tell Chandler how well it went, and to thank him for practising with me; I know I couldn't have done it that well without his help.

"Wonderful!" calls Mr. Brown "Now, the final part of your audition. Let me introduce the lovely young lady we have got playing Olivia – Jessica."

Olivia is the character who is eventually paired with Sebastian in Twelfth Night; a woman in her mid 20s appears from the wings and walks up onto the stage, smiling at me kindly. I grin back. Wow. She's hot. And in the scene that we're about to practice, I get to kiss her!

"Whenever you're ready."

Jessica (or should I say Olivia) looks around as if searching for someone; she pretends to suddenly see me and runs into my open arms, embracing me.

"I love you, Sebastian. And I always will," she sighs lustfully. She's good.

"No more than I love you, Olivia," I must admit, I am enjoying this.

She leans in for a kiss, her hands running through the back of my hair. Oh crap.

"Ew!" Jessica shrieks suddenly, wrenching her hands from out of my hair. "There are really gross bald patches in your hair! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

No. No, no, no...

"Um... I... It's..." unable to form a coherent sentence, I just stutter uselessly. I can hear the director and writers whispering to one other, and catch a bit of what they're saying:

"So is he wearing a wig? He can't - we need natural hair for this part!"

"He's 26, that's really weird!"

"What's wrong with him?"

Jessica strides off the stage and towards Mr. Brown, who is looking shocked and worried.

"I am NOT kissing that. It's disgusting!" she cries, not even bothering to keep her voice down for my sake.

I've heard enough - I run off the stage and out of the auditorium as fast as my legs will carry me, hands tugging at my hair as I do so.

Joey's trichotillomania is pretty serious in this fic, which is why it's so dramatic in this chapter and the next. Many people who suffer from this kind of thing also experience a lot of anxiety. It may seem unrealistic that something that small can be so upsetting for a person, but it can be difficult to understand if you've never experienced trichotillomania or similar disorders.