So...This is awkward xD I may or may not have died. If I'm being completely honest I lost motivation to create anything. And life got in the way as life does and I did kinda stop watching the show because 2013 was the year everyone died and I was like, "I like no one here." But the other day I got bit by 'the feels bug' (I'm a dork don't judge xD) and rewatched a couple videos. So...I have returned (because there is literally nothing out there for this couple. Like literally nothing). So I'll carry on my one shot compilation idea, this will most likely be a stand alone piece, might have a sequel piece if I'm not satisfied with the end. Apologies for the absence if anyone actually wanted me to update xD though I doubt it.
This will be set after Doug returns from America the first time, after Riley's death, and he breaks up with Ste. Obviously, it's not taken very well. Enjoy!
"So...What are you saying?" Ste stood there. Shellshocked. There were tears stinging in the corner of his eyes as he looked at the sad, tired American. He didn't understand...No he couldn't understand. Doug sighed in front of him, looking worn down and emotional drained, bags underneath his eyes, cheeks sagged slightly and his posture heavy. He looked Ste in the eye, those once blue sparkling orbs had now dimmed into a dull bare greyish tone. The whites of his eyes were now pink, blood red lines running across them.
"I'm saying...This...us...we...are over. Whatever this was,' Doug replied, voice heavy with emotion. The tension between the two was so thick, each member could feel it's sting against their skin. Ste didn't get it. What happened? What had changed in America that Doug was now practically spewing nonsense? This couldn't be happening. This isn't him talking. This can't...
"Is this about your parents?" Ste questioned. Doug's face turned into an astonished one. He expected screaming, yelling, maybe tears or an aloof goodbye. He hadn't been expecting that question.
"What do my parents have to do with it...?" Doug asked.
"Well I know they weren't exactly over the moon with you being gay and all and I just thought you musta told them that we were getting married and I doubt it would've been their cup of tea..."
"Ste do you believe my parents are forcing me to do this?" Doug was in disbelief. Ste didn't see it. Ste didn't see how badly he had treated him over these last few weeks. I mean sure Doug had a little insecurity problem. But anyone would if your fiancé's ex was constantly being a part of his life, slowly seducing him and it's plain as day that your supposed-to-be partner is falling for it. But...to be in complete denial takes the cake. Doug couldn't help the anger that rose within him. "Ste, my parents have absolutely nothing to do with this. They actually gave me their blessing when I told them I was getting married. It's a bit null and void now I guess but I can't believe you would think that they would have a hand in this!" Doug couldn't help the shakiness in his voice and the increase in volume. He knew going in that this wasn't going to be easy. Especially because even though this was the right thing to do, he was still in love with the man in front of him.
"Then I don't understand why you're saying these crazy things, I mean did you not mean it when you got on one knee and proposed to me? Was that all a sham so you could string me along?!" Ste's voice faltered towards the end, cracking as a tear ran down his face. They had their whole life ahead of them and Doug was throwing it away.
"No, of course not! Of course I wanted to get married to you!"
"Then what's changed? What exactly is the problem-"
"YOU, Ste! You're the problem. We're broken because of you."
That's what did it. The tears in Ste's eyes ran freely down his face as he felt his breathing feel tighter, have his entire world crash down and his heart break into a million pieces. Doug's words created a ringing silence in the room, as if his words were bouncing off the walls. Him...It was his fault. He'd messed this up, like everything else in his entire life when he thought he had finally got it right. They both stood there, Ste still crying and Doug's face contorted into something that could only be described as defiant. It was Ste's fault...but how? The silence was deafening between them and when Ste trusted himself to talk, he questioned the blonde American. "Me...?" He breathed, barely more than a whisper.
Doug snickered, which was somehow worse than giving him an actual answer. It was like he thought Ste was an idiot for not seeing it. "Yes, Ste. You. I tried everything to keep from us falling apart but clearly you had no such intention. I can't believe you don't even see it. Like you don't even see the things you've put us...no, me through these last few weeks. I'm sorry do you just forget when you treat me like dirt and break my heart? Is that just a thing that doesn't register with you?"
His words felt like daggers. He had to respond. "What the hell do you mean? We were fine until..."
"Until what, Ste? Until it was my fault that my best friend died? Until it was my fault for trying to get Brendan out of our lives? Until it was my fault you almost got shot until your hero Brendan came to save the day?! Is that it, Ste?"
"You're the one who keeps bringing him back! I mean there's absolutely nothing between us and you always let your...unexplainable paranoid mind bring him back. He is just a friend!"
"A friend you know I'm uncomfortable with you having! I mean it's like every time he shows any bit of being a nice person, you run towards him and you're like putty in his hands! You ran to his arms after my best friend got shot!"
"That is not true and you know it!"
"Isn't it?!" Doug and Ste where now yelling at each other, their voices bouncing off the walls as each of their words pierced each others heart.
"No, you're just being petty and jealous for no absolute reason. And Riley's death, though maybe the most extreme, wasn't the first time you've done this! I'm sorry for being sick of having the same argument, of hearing that I'm not trustworthy based on nothing but your own insecurity!"
"Based on nothing?! Ste, you don't see it but the rest of us do! You will always go back to him every time you have some sort of crisis. You would never come to me, Brendan knows just how to fix everything, Brendan this and 'Brendan saved me, he's changed lets run to his arms'."
"He saved my life, Doug was I just supposed to be like 'Ta, but I'm gonna go get a cup of tea bye'" Ste was beginning to get agitated. Why did Doug constantly bring this up? Why couldn't he get through to him?
"He's the reason Walker came to you in the first place, because he loves you!"
"Whether he loves me or not is irrelevant. We're friends and he knows that. I'm sorry for having friends Doug!"
"Oh yeah, great friend he is. I mean sure, he saved your life this time Ste but does that erase all the beatings and the black eyes and all the times you were with him and you thought you were going to die? Great friend that is, you sure know how to pick them." Doug's sarcastic tone of voice and harsh words stopped Ste in his tracks. Doug, at this point, was clenching his fist so hard that he'd probably break skin at this point, not that he would have cared. Ste's face turned from angry to disbelief. He couldn't believe Doug had stooped that low, that he would bring up Ste's abusive past.
"Thats...You take that back Doug. You've crossed a line."
Doug looked back, defiant and his resolve unwavering. "No. Some things need to be heard, Ste-"
"LIKE YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE ABUSED!" Ste screamed at him. Doug took a step back, eyes widened and in shock. Ste's breathing became ragged, as he just stared into Doug's eyes, fire burning within them. "Like you have...any inkling on what it's like, to be attacked by the ones you love. You've lived a perfect life until Doug, how could someone like you possibly-"
"Perfect?! Excuse me, my life has been far from perfect. And yes I know what's happened with you, I actually listened when you opened up to me. But that doesn't excuse why you keep running to him. Or is that how you see us, Ste? I couldn't possibly understand what its like to be broken, what it's like to feel like nothing, I must've just wanted to kill myself because I thought it'd be fun!" Now it was Ste's turn to be taken aback. He had completely forgot that Doug had tried to kill himself. Which was terrible because they were supposed to know everything about each other. The ringing silence came back and settled between uncomfortably between them. They had obviously struck nerves within each other that wasn't the smartest way to handle this conversation. The eye contact between them never broke though, as Doug's expression slowly became softer, earning Ste to calm down in return. After a couple of moments of wringing hands and shallow breaths, Doug mustered up the courage to speak again. "Look, bottom line is Ste, I can't be your stepping stone. Your pastime as you wait for Brendan to become a good person. I won't do it," he explained, his voice much gentler.
"You think I would've agreed to marry you if that's all you were? You honestly believe that?"
"I...I think you want to believe you're as in love with me as much as you say you are. So that you don't look like a lovesick puppy pining over him."
Ste couldn't hear this any longer. He wasn't getting through to Doug at all because he was always fixated on Brendan. "I actually can't believe you. You've been like this insecure about Brendan about day one so this is nothing new Doug. You actually believe that I'm kidding myself with this relationship, I mean I don't think you understand how big a deal marriage is but yeah sure, that probably would've been a sham too," Ste's sarcasm obviously didn't sit well with Doug. "You know what, you can't just make me fall in love with you Doug, making me the happiest man on earth and just say I faked it, or rip it to shreds in front of me."
"Isn't that my line?" Doug replied. They were both being petty and they both knew it. Though that wouldn't be close to solving their problems, that's even if they wanted to at this point. They had each said pretty horrible things that weren't going to vanish into thin air any time soon. There was so much tension and strain, so much anger and unresolved problems but even then they were both still madly in love with the other. Even after all the harsh words. "Look, I'm going to swing by tomorrow to collect my stuff, Ste if that's okay."
Doug's change in subject took Ste by surprise, but he took it as a signal that their argument had come to a close. Not the ending either of them had desired, but one they came to together in the end. "So, that's it? We're over? We just throw in the towel?" Ste still didn't like this outcome, he didn't want this outcome.
"You'd still want me after everything that was just said?" Doug questioned. Ste remained silent, because he didn't know how to answer. "I didn't think so. I guess this is official then, we're over. Goodbye Ste." Doug and Ste just stared at each other after the words had left his mouth, and the world's deafening silence returned. That minute felt like an eternity between them, they could feel there were words still left unsaid between them, nice things, things they love about each other but they couldn't say it. Neither of them could break. The only words Ste could muster were, "Goodbye, Doug." Doug let a final tear drop from his face, wiped out from the back of his hand, turned around and opened the door. Ste watched him walk out, each step reminding him that he was walking out of his life forever, and as the door closed behind him, the sound reverberated against the walls, rang in his ears and caused him to fall to the floor, crying his eyes out.
And that's that. I'm not too keen on the ending but I felt adding more would've been translated as forced (considering I do ship the fuck out of this couple). I thought I would try a much darker piece than usual fluff to see if I could, let me know if you think I pulled it off well (and not just a screaming match xD). I've actually already started on my next piece which will definitely be multi parted (2 or 3, depends) and beware, SMUT INCOMING. You have been warned :D but yeah I always like to hear what you guys think and shoot any ideas my way (and if I disappear feel free to PM my arse and motivate me to return :P). Reviews are love and see you next time xxx