Disclaimer: I do not own Hunger Games or any of the characters, they belong to Suzanne Collins.
Chapter 3
As the doors shut, I am presented with the possibility that I will not return home again. District 12 seems alien to me. There is no way I can come back without Gale and Emily too, alive and in one piece. We gather around a table in the dining cart, Peeta on my right, Vivian on his, a petite woman next to her and finally a face I recognise despite the obvious changes. Cinna. He is beaming at me. I can't help but grin back. Maybe it will be alright after all. Perhaps he can help me get all of the sponsors I can. After our victory at the last games, sponsors will have a lot more respect for district 12. It's rare that both tributes survive until the end. Gale and Emily enter, he sits on my left. It is surreal to have my two best friends on either side of me. Two of the people I care most about, that I would sacrifice my life for. And one of them was balancing on a knife edge waiting to see which side he'll fall.
Neither of the tributes can eat, but I force the girl to have a roll at least. She manages of course – she's hungry. Gale refuses; I don't have the energy to argue with him though. Introductions are made. Forced laughter fills the cart and not a moment too soon everyone is shown to their rooms to retire. I bid goodnight to everyone and sit in my room – waiting for dawn.
That night I didn't get a moment of sleep. I doubt anyone else did either. Is this what it'll be like every year from now on? By the time sunlight peeks through the thin curtains, I decide to change clothes and join the others for breakfast. Cinna is the only one there and is nimbly fiddling with the edge of the table cloth. His coffee untouched. I slide into the seat beside him.
"Ah, fire girl" he breathes, "I can see what you're trying to hide. You don't fool me."
"What's that then?" I try to play ignorant. He sees right through my facade.
"Katniss, time is of the essence – you should tell him how you really feel."
I gulp. He's right. If there's one thing I learnt from the Hunger Games, it's that no-one has time to waste. I couldn't though. Strong-minded Kat, victor and survivor, couldn't tell someone how she really felt about them. How pathetic. I cannot eat today and I just stare at Cinna.
"Cinna?"
"Katniss."
"I need your help."
"I thought that's what I was here for?"
"Well, yes, but I mean, Gale...he's my friend. My very best friend. I can't let anything bad happen to him, but I don't know what I'm doing. Haymitch is gone and I'm all alone."
"You have Peeta-"
"I know but he has no idea how much I need to get this right. I thought you would understand."
"I understand, and I will do everything I can to help you and the tributes, but I doubt you'll need my help." I give him a questioning look, one eyebrow raised, but before any questions surface Peeta enters with Emily. He appears to be supporting her with one arm gripping hers. She looks ill.
"Found Emily in the hall, she's dizzy. I suggested that she should eat something." He wanted to know if that was the right thing to do. I didn't know, but Cinna pulled a chair out for her and Peeta let go, she collapsed into it. He put a glass of orange in front of her and told her to drink. She sipped it while we watched – some colour returned to her face. Peeta joined us at the table. Everyone eventually turned up; Vivian, whom I disliked more with every passing moment and the tiny woman, Mal. I didn't have a clue whether that was her full name or it was short for something, perhaps Malorie. Nobody spoke. Gale didn't appear no matter how much I wished he would. I needed to see his face. I needed him to give me a reassuring smile to let me know everything would be okay. I needed him.
The train began to slow and Vivian announced we were nearly at the station and asked that someone go and get Gale. I eagerly stepped up. After a few attempts knocking and calling his name, I gave in and just opened the door. He was there. Wide awake. A gaunt expression on his face. I sat down on the bed next to him.
"Gale?"
He said nothing; I am reminded on his silent mother at the reaping. Instead he got up and grabbed his bag, not bothering to change clothes. I followed him out.
Later on we arrived at the same place Peeta and I spent the days before the games. Once on the twelfth floor Emily runs off to the bathroom and I hover by the door, she is being violently sick. When she comes out she is even paler than before. I take her to her room; she doesn't need anything so I leave her to shower and change. Peeta is in my way when I try to enter my room.
"I need to talk to you." His request didn't shock me, I nodded and he came with me into my room. I shut the door and turn to face him – our bodies extremely close. Just the sound of his and my breathing can be heard. He didn't move and when I tried to walk round him he pushed me back against the door – not violently but still I didn't expect it.
"Peeta-" his lips end up on the base of my neck and I place my hands firmly on his chest forcing him away.
"Don't..."
"Katniss, I'm tired of playing games. I want you and only you. Can't you see that?"
"I know, but that's not what I want."
"You mean you don't want me?"
"Peeta, look we don't need to do this now-"
"I thought being back here and with everything-" I knew he meant Gale "Maybe you'd rethink things and realise you love me too." I didn't agree, neither did I deny his assumptions.
"Look, we're here because we have a job to do – I need to keep focus and you should too." I left it at that and stormed out into the corridor. Peeta didn't dare follow me. I went to find Gale who was again sitting in his room. Emily also materialised and I called the first formal meeting to discuss tactics. I needed the night to think of what I was going to do, so there was something which needed to be sorted first.
"Okay, firstly I give you both my word that we will train you and teach you everything we know." I was interrupted after the first breath.
"Shouldn't we wait for Peeta?"
"He'll join us when he's ready" I told Gale.
"Right, you both know how we won last year, but I don't think that's the right path to take this time, so do you want to go in as a team or individually, bear in mind the rules were only changed because we made the audience believe we were in love?" Emily glanced at Gale's hard face.
"Individually is fine – sorry Emily, but I don't think it's a good idea. Most tributes go it alone." She looked even more terrified. I remember feeling like that; I didn't want to tell her it gets better, because it doesn't. From here on it only gets worse. A lot worse.
"Fine with me, but do you want to train together? You'll both know each other's strengths and weaknesses then-" Gale cut me off.
"Again, I don't think that's what is best."
"Well, then we'll half each training day and you can learn different things from each of us, it'll give you more skills anyway." I was beginning to think about what Peeta had to offer them when Gale spoke up again.
"No. I don't want to be taught by you. Emily can learn enough from you and Peeta will be able to teach me the things I need to know." I was gobsmacked. He was treating me like someone he hated. Not disliked but really detested.
"If that's all, I'll be going." He left without my response.
Dinner that evening was a sordid event. The food was good though – I had missed someone preparing my meals, it was quite a luxury. The avoxes were dishing out more food – keeping our plates full. The red haired girl was not here. I hadn't thought about her in a while...
Gale disappeared after his final mouthful and on the way out exchanged a strange glance with Peeta. Cinna looked confused but nobody else noticed. This was how it was going to continue. I really was alone and the worst thing was that I was the one who pushed them away; Peeta – physically, Gale – mentally, Cinna – emotionally. Emily was too engrossed in her impending doom and I don't blame her. All I had to do was keep them alive, but I didn't realise how hard that was going to be if none of them would even talk to me.
Author's Note
I promised another chapter and here it is, let me know what you think! :-) (coolbeaniostwilightrules7)