Lose Control

by Yoruyonaka Sakusha

In this relationship of anger and venting, who will lose control first? Yuki? Or Kyo? Yaoi - don't like, don't read.

9. Overdose

... -blinks- Woah. The sun is so... bright. HI EVERYONE. WTH Do you all hate me now? I have been neglectful of you readers! I admit it! I have been a lazy, non go-getting writer who reads too much yaoi for her own good and sits around thinking of all the thing she should do but NEVER DOES ANYTHING.

BUT! I do have a sort-of-excuse. Poor me, the laptop that we get issued at school SUCKS. It has been wigging out on me and all that, SO i got a thumb drive to store my stories on. BUT guess what? Because i'm not so graceful, I broke it an lost stuff. For this story. The next month, i had my brothers and THE SAME DAMN THING HAPPENED AGAIN WUT. Sadness. On top of that, I have to write a bunch of stupid essays for contests that i won and need to win (cuz i'm just that cool), plus a book to read on my few weeks off. NOT COOL. So as you see, tradgedy has struck.

And I'm lazy.

So... without further ado, please keep reading my new fairly long chapter of crazy plot-building. As promised, even though there has been a long wait, I do NOT plan on dropping this story like i did Holding Back. I plan for there to be a sequel. HOMG.

WTF, can you tell i'm all twichy writing this authors note? I call that my 'Jukebox Mode'. teehee -is shot-

Rating:T+
Disclaimer: I aaaaalmost have all the books dammit
Chapter title: Overdose

NOTE: I REMOVED THE ENDING OF THE LAST CHAPTER, EDITED IT, AND REPOSTED IT IN THIS ONE.

-- Kyo –

Shit.

Your mind draws a blank.

Not just a regular blank – a complete and utter, nothing there, blank.

Right where Yuki leaving your room should have been.

You think for a second that maybe, by some stroke of luck, it was just a rain-induced dream and that none of what is slowly coming back to you ever really happened. But you can't fool yourself.

::His slow, steady pressure feeds what lazy motions you offer, stirring up a pleasant warmth around you::

You clutch at your hair, your face lighting up with the thought. That's enough for you. You don't need to remember anymore, not if it's something like that that only serves to make your insides churn. What the fuck did he think he was doing!? That isn't how things are supposed to work. Not in the least. There's no gentleness or

:: you end up murmuring a soft 'mm' against his lips in response to the fingers trailing over your stomach::

You'll kill him.

That fucking bastard – in the space of a second you're more pissed than you've been in a long time. He took advantage of you. It was raining, for God's sake. What the hell was he even thinking coming on to you when it was like that outside? It was as good as drugging you, god dammit. You wouldn't be fucking surprised if he had been waiting for a chance like that. All day he was probably watching you, waiting to pounce like some damned stalker. You'll kill him. You'll beat his face into the ground.

But fuck, what were you even thinking letting him come in last night? You were practically sleeping before he even started kissing you, so what the hell went through your mind to make you think you'd actually make it through a kiss like that? The entire thing just makes you want to ram your head through the fucking ground. All of it. The slowness and heaviness of his mouth on yours. Gentle. Soft.

::fingers trailing over your stomach::

You don't want to remember – god, what you'd give to be able to go around as if that never happened – but you do remember, and you've no fucking clue what the hell you should deal with first. You want to kick his ass, that's for sure, but thinking on it, you don't know how you're going to approach him to do that. You don't want to give him the pleasure of knowing just him touching you affected you that much. You don't want it to be so obvious – even to yourself – that things are starting to spin out of your range of control. How the hell are you supposed to get it back when a lot of it (you admit) lies in his hands? Where are you supposed to start?

Or, more importantly, where to end?

-- Yuki –

One way or another, it's only ever you who manages to get avoided like the plague.

Kyo's gone already, even though you and Honda-san are still eating the rest of breakfast. He had gotten up before you, shoved some toast down his throat, and thrown his things into his bag as he walked out the door, blatantly refusing to look at you through the entire process. You're not entirely sure how much of last night he remembers, but at least one thing is clear: he is not happy about what he did remember. He quite openly expressed his anger in the five minutes you saw him downstairs, storming through the house with such a dark aura around him that even Shigure sensed the danger and kept well out of his way as he got himself together. The door slammed so hard behind him that you're sure there are cracks in it (again).

"I-I wonder what got Kyo-kun so upset…" Honda-san murmurs, pressing her lips together worriedly around her chopsticks, and you can feel her searching her brain for possible causes. It makes you feel a little bad since it's mostly your fault and all, but you're silent for a brief second. This is where you need to start trailing a bit more carefully. Both her and Shigure know that Kyo went straight up to bed last night, barely making contact with you and only saying a few sleep-fogged sentences to the other two. There was no time for him to get into a fight with you between then and now, and there's no real reason for you to know why he was fuming this morning.

"I'm sure it's nothing." You say, taking another bite of the eggs Honda-san had cooked for you. They scorch your tongue, though, and you have to quickly take a bite of toast to lessen the burning.

"Are you okay?" The brunette immediately asks, looking ready to get up and rush to your aid. "I'm sorry, I should have allowed the eggs to cool down before hand…"

"I'm fine. I wasn't paying attention." You reassure her, glad to be off the topic of Kyo, at least.

Or, well, you might have been off the topic if Shigure hadn't hummed cheerily. You glance up at him to find he's sipping his coffee over a newspaper, looking at you mischievously. You have to stop your eyes from narrowing. A mischievous Shigure is not what you need right now.

"It appeared that he was angry with you, Yuki-kun." Shigure says sweetly. "Before you came down, he was just quietly seething away."

Tohru is quick to pick it up from there as you quickly race through possible excuses. "Oh no, did you two get into a fight again?" She asks sadly.

Buying for more time, you sigh, feigning exasperation, very aware of the sharp eyes studying you. "Well, he's always angry with me for something." You say, setting down your chopsticks and standing up to put the dishes into the kitchen.

"He seemed fine when he went to bed…" Shigure continues, and you wish that the kitchen was far enough away that you could pretend you don't hear him. "What would he have to be mad about?"

You clatter the dishes into the sink. "Does he even need a reason anymore?" You ask. "Last time I checked, I was at fault for being alive." You try to sound annoyed, beating around the bush carefully so you don't sound like you're trying to hide something. Shigure is suspicious. You can tell from the way he's leading the conversation; a few years of living with him have made you quite aware of the fact that Shigure is cunning. He knows how to draw information out. You need to get out that door and to school as quickly as possible. You're definitely going to need to be on your toes around him from now on – you and Kyo both.

You return reluctantly to the table to get your bag and your things together. Shigure is about to say something, and you internally flinch, but before she can realize she's interrupting, Tohru suddenly exclaims from the doorway, "Oh! Could it be he's mad about the book?"

You almost let out a relieved sigh. You had completely forgotten about that cover-up. Of course if Kyo knew you'd just gone into his room while he was sleeping and took his book he'd be angry. Carefully, though, you go to the door to put on your shoes, playing it off as if that was nothing new. "Probably. I can see him being upset over a little thing like that." Actually, nowadays he would probably just swear at you, snatch the book back, and go along his merry way.

"Oh? What book would that be?"

…You hadn't looked at the title. Thinking hard, you occupy yourself with getting your shoelaces tied correctly, wishing you were already out the door. "The one the cat borrowed from you." You say vaguely. "I brought it down last night." You hope he'll just take it at that. Then you look at the clock, realizing now that there's a reason to be rushing out the door. "Honda-san! We're going to be late!" You call, not missing the fact that it's usually Kyo rushing the both of you along so that you won't end up late.

Shigure comes to the door, his pleasant smile saying he's only coming to see you off. You seriously doubt that, though, and he proves you right when he continues the conversation. "What did you want that book for?" He asks, and you feel the trap slowly closing in around you.

The next second, though, Honda-san comes rushing in with her bag, tripping and falling over her own feet and effectively distracting you both. Lucky for you, you're able to get the two of you out the door right after without any more questions, pace a little faster than normal that day since you're running late.

-- Kyo –

You refuse to relate this to running away, because you're not. You're pissed off, that's all. You don't feel like confronting him just yet, and there's nothing wrong with keeping away so that he can think over what he did wrong. It's school time anyway, and the chances of someone running into you telling him off is much more likely here than it is at home. So, when his footsteps come from the stairwell that leads to the roof, you're sure to very quietly situate yourself where he can't see you and wait until he goes to looks somewhere else. When his voice turns up in some chatty group nearby, you're sure to circumvent him until you're safely in a classroom again, welcoming the distraction of some teacher droning at you. You aren't sure how hard he's trying to get you alone, because honestly, you haven't given him any moment near you that isn't necessary. You're quite sure, though, that he knows you're going out of your way to avoid him. Your eyes have met a few times, and every time you return his hard, almost accusing stare with an angry glare of your own just so he knows that he's on your shit list. He can wait to talk with you for however long you want him to. If he even wants to just talk, that is.

During lunch, after skillfully getting away from that nosy bastard once again, you meet up with Tohru hanging out with that damn punk Uotani and Hanajima. You probably shouldn't be sitting in a place so obvious if you wanna stay out of sight, but you figure that he'll probably be looking everywhere else but here if he's looking at all. Saying hello to Tohru and grudgingly acknowledging the other two, you walk to the corner of the classroom they're occupying.

"Where've you been, carrot top?" Uotani asks, leaning back in her as she looks at you with that annoying half-glare she's got. "You've been freakin' sneaking around all day. Skipping classes too, no doubt."

"Don't mix me in with your lousy bunch, damn Yankee." You growl back at her, flopping down in a chair across from the three.

She flips you off, but doesn't offer any more for a good fight and you leave it at that. Hanajima pretty much ignores you as usual, braiding Tohru's hair, not seeming to mind when she looks over at you worriedly.

"Kyo-kun, are you still fighting with Yuki-kun?" She asks, and you frown. Well, of course she'd be worried about it since you not-so-brilliantly showed that you were pissed off with him this morning. Not the best of ideas, seeing as how that's only going to draw unneeded attention to you both, but you doubt it'll be much of a problem. It's not like you spoke to him about it or anything, so it's not like you have to play it off as anything but a fight. You could think of millions of reasons to be mad at him without trying. Except, while you're thinking this, Tohru picks the conversation back up. "I'm sure he didn't mean to make you angry by taking your book. I know he should have knocked, but you were so tired he probably didn't want to disturb you. Uhm… so don't be too angry with him…" She trails off, shifting a bit and giving you a pleading look.

"What, you're getting all bent out of shape just because he took a god damned book?" Uotani demands. "Jeez, Kyon. Loosen up."

You roll with it quickly, putting the pieces together and hoping you've got the right idea. You hadn't noticed anything missing from your room this morning, so you've got no idea what book Tohru's talking about. "That damn Yuki should stay the hell out of other peoples' rooms." You growl, tipping the chair back onto two legs. "He thinks just because he's such a 'Prince' everyone wants to let him borrow their stuff. Pretentious bastard…"

The back of your chair is suddenly pushed and you jolt forward when the front legs of your chair hit the floor, your feet slamming into the ground painfully. You let out a hissing breath as a voice behind you says calmly, "Maybe you shouldn't leave your door open, then."

You whirl your head around to look at him, that damn rat, growling at him as you lean over to rub your stinging feet. You cover up your alarm at having him suddenly show up with a fierce look, trying to convey through your aura alone that you don't want him anywhere near you yet. You're slightly relieved to have been caught with Tohru, at least, since it's better than being alone with him. Only, now you feel a little too trapped; leaving alone could result in him following you, but you're already having problems just staying in the same room as him. "It wasn't open, asshole."

"Watch your mouth. It's not as if you were using it right then anyway." He tells you, leaning onto a desk, smiling at Tohru when she utters a nervous hello, greeting the others in like.

"That's not the point." You snap, irritation running high as he turns his eyes away from you. "Don't just go in other peoples' rooms while they're sleeping, you freak."

He gives you a cold look, and you feel a grim satisfaction at knowing you got under his skin. "You saw me come in well enough." He replies smoothly.

"Like hell I did! I was barely fucking conscious when you came in, bastard." Tohru squeaks at the swearing, and you unconsciously put a lid on the profanity for her sake.

"You were conscious enough, as I remember." Your eyes flash up and lock with his. He holds your gaze.

"Yeah? Well, you've got a sucky memory." You don't' look away, either, and you can feel him pushing at your buttons, daring you to get angrier. You told yourself that you weren't going to bother with this guy today, but that collected look of his is pissing you off, and your mouth is moving before you can think.

"You never told me to leave."

"You should be smart enough not to come in at all!"

"And I suppose you're not intelligent enough to refuse me?"

You're only getting started with the nasty verbal spar you've got going here, but that punk Uotani suddenly interrupts. "Hold it!" She yells, and the both of you turn to look at your little forgotten audience of three. Tohru looks near tears, helplessly holding her hands up in some sort of gesture for you to stop, and even wave girl is watching you carefully. Pointing between you and the rat, that damn yankee leans back and asks, "Are we still just talking about a book here?"

Well, shit.

Roughly, you push your chair away and stand, glowering as you walk to the door. "We aren't talking about anything." You snarl, throwing the door open and getting the hell out of there, wondering just what the hell you thought you were doing in the first place.

-- Yuki –

Sighing, you push yourself up to sit on the table you were leaning on. That was stupid on your part. You shouldn't have let him get to you like that – or at least, you shouldn't have shown it. Having him get fed up with you wasn't what you needed right then, though you guess it's good that you both know why you're arguing with each other, even if he is more pissed at you now than ever. Hoping that no one has come to any conclusions yet, you refrain from following him out the door.

"U-um…" Honda-san looks wearily upset, staring between you and the door that still stand open on the other side of the classroom.

"Well that was fun. " Uotani-san says sarcastically, folding her arms behind her head. "What the hell got him all bothered? Is he really that big a stickler about his bedroom?"

"No, I'm sure it's just me." You tell her apologetically, thankful that it seems she doesn't think too much of it.

"I dunno…" She says thoughtfully, glancing over at Honda-san. "I though you'd been getting along lately, right Tohru?"

"Well, it did seem like that." She offers wistfully.

Which surprises you. You thought that you'd been getting into more fights with him, if anything. You admit that they came farther apart now, but they certainly seemed to be worse than before and a hell of a lot harder to work around or get through. IN fact, you've been instigating more fights with him lately that you ever have before, so you're not too sure where it is they're coming from.

"Right. That guy used to just shut down the second you came into the room nad you'd both just sit around ignoring each other." Uotani-san continues matter-of-factly. "Now you're getting on each others nerves back and forth like crazy. He watches you like a freakin' hawk, y'know." The confusion must be showing on your face, because she raises an eyebrow and says. "You do, too."

"It's like you're acknowledging each other more!" Honda-san suddenly exclaims, and you wonder at the happy tone in her voice. Haven't you always acknowledged him? You didn't exactly have a choice when it came to him yelling at you or proclaiming his vow to beat you. Yeah, you used to try to ignore it more often, but you felt like there was a whole lot less of that now, so…?

"Exactly." Uotani-san agrees, nodding her head, looking pleased with herself. "So! The question is, Princey, what's suddenly got you acknowledging our Kyon, hm?"
"And vice-versa." Hanajima-san says, speaking for the first time. You look at her, suddenly very conscious of the quiet look she's fixing you with, and you're reminded of her claimed ability to read waves. You look away quickly, trying with all your might to keep whatever feelings you might be letting out neutral, suddenly not entirely sure that powers like that don't exist.

"I'm not sure I know what you're getting at." You respond, looking uncertainly between the other two. "Kyo and I still fight all the time. We haven't been getting along at all."

Honda-san and Uotani-san exchange a quick look. "You and orangey…" Uotani-san pauses, looking for the right words.

"There is a definite difference." Hanajima-san comments for the second time. "The waves you're letting out towards one another have changed."

You feel the hair on the back of your neck rise, and you put a cap on any unnecessary thoughts, though you're becoming increasingly worried about exactly how much Hanajima-san has picked up on already. A quick glance tells you that she's still staring at you, and your voice catches in your throat. What are you supposed to say? You can't exactly explain it yourself. You'd rather die before you tell them – especially Honda-san – that yes, there has been a change in your relationship with Kyo, which just so happened to involve the two of you 'getting to know each other' through some 'minor physical encounters'. That would roll over nicely.

Grimacing inwardly at the very thought of such a conversation, you give them a clueless look, causing Uotani-san to roll her eyes and sit back in defeat. "It's probably nothing, really." You say appeasingly, getting up just as the first bell for classes rings. "I have to my next class now, so I'll see you later." And with a parting smile, you head out the door, trying to convince yourself that two of those farewells were not suspicious in the least.

-- Tohru –

You can't help but be worried about them, really. Seeing as how you're with them day in and day out, it's no surprise that you noticed the change in their behavior. The problem is, you don't know what that change is, exactly. Of course there's something different about them - Hana-chan was more than right about that – but you can't quite tell with those two as well as you'd like to. The most you sense is a secret, and it's making their already unsteadily improving relationship falter even more. It makes you nervous; you'd like to know just what is making them so uncomfortable, but you aren't going to push them for anything. That would be rude, so you can only hope that they feel safe enough to confide in you if they ever find that they need your help (though you're not sure what help you might be able to offer, if any).

Between Kyo-kun and Yuki-kun… you're still unsure as to whether this strange atmosphere around them is a good change or a bad change. You honestly think that they could be friends if they only opened their hearts a little more. They're both so kind, especially to you, and you think if only they would try to get to know each other a little more they would both see that being friends would really be wonderful! So, that they're acknowledging one another more is exciting for you. It means they care enough, right? They're interested in what the other is doing, and that really could lead to them getting closer. You're concerned, though, because of the tension around them all the time. Like they're watching the other too much. You suppose things would have to get worse before they get better, since you know both of them have heavier hearts than they let on. You just hope that they can both get through to each other, and have to pray that they don't focus as much on the curse as they do on the person behind it.

So, you decide to stay out of the way as best you can, making sure to be available for them to talk to you without being pushy about it. You've been watching over them the best you can, trying in what little ways are possible to urge them closer together without intruding in their personal business. Not that it's been working as well as you'd hoped. They seem reluctant as ever to be near each other, despite the attention they're giving. Kyo-kun has been flustered a lot more than usual, and even Yuki-kun seems distracted lately; both of them always seeming to be unsettled in one way or another.

"What do you suppose is going on with them, hm?" Uo-chan asks, snapping you back into reality. "You live with them Tohru. Anything happen between 'em?"

"I don't think so…" You murmur, looking down at your lap quietly, not minding the small tugs to your hair as Hana-chan continues to braid it. Really though, when did it start? Uo-chan is right, you live with them and you don't even know what happened to make them like that to begin with? It makes you feel sad, because either you were too busy to notice when it started, when Yuki-kun and Kyo-kun might have needed you to notice, or they were trying to keep it a secret from you on purpose, making you question your ability as their housemate. Either way, it depresses you to think that your loved ones could be hurting right in front of you without you knowing enough to help.

"Hey, hey," Uo-chan says, waving a hand in front of your face. "It's not like it's your fault or anything, so don't worry about it." Her knuckles gently tap at your forehead, and you can't help but smile, a little embarrassed. "Really, though. You gotta be curious," She looks behind you, to Hana-chan. "C'mon Hana, no wave report?"

She's quiet, and her fingers still in your hair momentarily, giving you cause to tilt your head back to look up at her. She's staring off, but when her eyes catch yours, she smiles at you kindly, pulling the last of your hair into it's braid. "They're being cautious of each other," She says vaguely. "Who knows… maybe they are getting to know one another."

"Right." Uo-chan snorts immediately after. "Maybe when pigs fly."

Still, you can't help but feel happy at Hana-chan's words, even if they are a little unbelievable. Despite signs of their getting a little closer only ending in chaos, you have hope that they'll be friends sooner rather than later.

Actually, it's probably this very hope that's keeping your frayed nerves from falling right apart on the walk home from school. Neither Yuki-kun nor Kyo-kun have after school activities today, and you can feel the pressure pushing down on you from both sides as they walk beside you in silence. Just what is it you feel? An ice storm? Anger? You don't know, so you've no clue on how to act in this situation. Should you try to get a conversation going, or would that be too intrusive? You could try getting them to talk to each other, but you're afraid that'll ignite the unpleasant feeling in the air. You feel a little wobbly before you even get halfway, but you can't manage to make yourself speak.

When you get home, you walk through the door a little dejectedly; you're a wimp. No courage at all, and it makes you feel bad. What if you can help? What if your own silence is only going to worry them? Thankfully, walking inside seems to break up the tension gathering between them, Kyo-kun going to sit at the couch and Yuki-kun at the table with his bag.

"Honda-san, are you alright?" Yuki-kun calls to you, and you realize that you've been standing near the door for a moment now, shoes and bag still on, just watching them absently.

"A-ah! Yes! I'm fine." You say quickly, hurrying to take off your shoes, nearly falling in the process. Thankfully, there's no repeat of this morning, and you walk through to the kitchen without any mishaps. "How does Oyako Don(1) sound for dinner?" You ask from the doorway.

"Wonderful." Yuki-kun says, rummaging through his bag.

"Can you keep the leeks off mine?" Kyo-kun's head peeks over the couch where he's laid down, and you're glad to see that he doesn't look as upset anymore.

"Of course! Speaking of which, Yuki-kun, may I pick some from your garden? I don't think we have any more."

"That's fine. Do you want me to come with you?" He makes to stand up, but you shake your head, gesturing for him to sit again.

"It's okay. I can get them on my own." You tell him, though you're thankful for his offer. You walk back to grab your shoes again, slipping them on. "I'll be right back, okay?"

Yuki-kun looks a little doubtful, but he's sitting again. A quick glance shows Kyo-kun watching you as well, "Alright. Be careful." And you smile, glad that they both seem to trust you enough to do this.

Walking there, you can't help but think – maybe for around the hundredth time – how lucky you are to live with such a kind family. Yuki-kun, Kyo-kun and Shigure-san all show you care and support. Through the good times and the bad, you've no doubt that they'll always be there for you, and you've no doubt that you'll always be there for them. It fills you with a happy warmth. As long as they're with you, you don't have any worries, and that's why no matter what, you'll try to make them as happy as possible.

You get the leeks in a small bundle in your hands without any incident in the woods. As you walk back to the house, you wonder when Shigure-san will be home. You hope it's in time for dinner, since he said that he would be back around that time. You could wait, if need be, or you could simply leave some food for him in the fridge or oven, depending on whether or not he gets home before you go to sleep, though you doubt it will be that long.

When you reach the house again, you go in through the back porch so you don't need to trek around to the front door. The door doesn't close the first time you nudge it, and you go to push it all the way closed before you take of your shoes, but you hear a loud 'bang' in the next room where Kyo-kun and Yuki-kun were when you left. You wince, tensely slipping out of your shoes. You probably should have figured that the tension would get to them. You shouldn't have left in the first place – now they were bound to be fighting. An angry grunt and hard shuffling on the ground near the living room tells you that easily enough. Worriedly, taking a deep breath to prepare yourself for breaking up their fight, you slip down the hall, heading for where you heard the quieting noises. If you're lucky, maybe they stopped fighting. You come through the door on the other side of the living room, step in and

You freeze, catching your breath and covering your mouth with your hand to suppress the squeak that wants to work its way from your throat. On the floor... they- a blush creeps over your face, and you very quickly work away from the room, back to the door and outside, shutting it with suppressed panic behind you.

Once outside, you lean on the door for a moment, processing what you've just seen. Your face crawls with heat, and you grip the leeks in your hands tightly, your own mind stammering as it tries to come up with an explanation for what you've just seen – tries to get you over the sudden shock of it. They were just… Feeling wobbly, you push off from the door and step down from the porch so you can take a short walk back to the garden.

Just a short walk.

-- Kyo –

The door shuts with a small 'click' behind Tohru as she goes out. You're not too worried about her, since the garden is only a short run from the house, and you know that she can get a damned weed by herself, but you can't help but feel a twinge of concern. That airhead always seemed way too likely to get into trouble doing the littlest of things. You're actually surprised that the rat didn't go with her, since most expeditions out to the 'secret base' involved the two of them going together or just him going alone. Especially ever since that one incident out in the woods when Ayame first showed up.

Sighing heavily at the very thought of that damned snake, you place your attention back on the little notebook in front of you. You've got an assignment to do for English class – to write a descriptive composition about a room in the house – and you sure as hell aren't going to do it on your room. No matter what you'd write about your room, you're sure that it would only result in someone teasing or commenting about it unnecessarily. This room was good enough, and probably the more interesting one of the house.

After a moment, though, you become aware of the loud silence echoing off the walls, and the suddenly distinct presence of the other person in the room makes you shift uncomfortably. You still don't know quite what you want to do with the bastard, though you think you can feel his eyes boring into the back of your head. You're still pissed with him – you've been making that clear all day – and while you'd definitely like to tear into him, you have a feeling that things won't exactly go that smoothly. Your instincts are stirring, and you can feel the fight tingling under your skin, ever-present even when you don't want anything to do with him, and you'd be willing to bet that he can feel it too He's been trailing after you today, shooting you looks that you shouldn't be able to pick the significance out of. You don't want it to mean anything, nor do you want to remember anything, and you're still trying to decide whether or not you should pretend that you don't.

A minute or so ticks by lengthily until, unable to focus, you make up your mind to move yourself to the roof. You can remember the room well enough, and you've got enough smaller notes jotted down in the margins to write something good enough that the teacher won't jump down your throat. You flip the notebook shut, tucking the pencil through the coiled metal spiral as you stand and turn.

But wouldn't you know it. You didn't even hear the bastard move. Always a step ahead of you, he's standing in the way of the stairs, leaning against the wall and watching you knowingly, arms folded across his chest with an irritated look on his face. He stares at you, and you move your eyes to the floor, glaring and making yourself look as unpleasant as possible, hoping it's enough to discourage him from trying to talk to you. You walk with calculated normality, communicating well enough that you'd rather not give him the time of day.

He sighs as you near him, making it sound as if you're being insufferable. "Exactly how long do you intend to be mad at me?" He asks hotly, pushing away from the wall in a smooth movement, not exactly getting in your way but making it quite obvious that he could do just that.

Without missing a beat, you snarl back at him, "How long do you intend to be an asshole?" He glares at you, but you don't let it affect your pace at all, still making to walk right by him.

You're halfway there when he decides to act. "Kyo-" He grabs your arm, pulling with the intent to stop you. Your notebook flaps to the ground, the pencil clattering away.

You jerk away, rounding on him quickly. "Don't touch me, fucking rat!" You yell, and he looks a little surprised for a second before that melts away into irritation, rising a notch as he makes an exasperated sound.

"What, I can't even touch you now?" He asks with contempt.

"You couldn't in the first place." You hiss, and his face darkens. That fight is boiling harder under your skin now, anticipating its start before you've even really decided you want to fight. You hate it. And you hate him. That thought is the one that should always be prominent – the prerequisite to any of this. He's your ticket out of the cage. Your enemy. He's the fucking rat; a detestable, loathsome guy who's always gotten everything and left you with nothing. You. Hate. Him.

"Is that so?" He growls at you, and you bristle. "I think we've done a little more than just touch, Kyo."

You flinch involuntarily, drawing away though he hasn't touched you or made to do so. "Fuck off." You snap, your fingers clenching into fists, feeling a strong urge to throw a punch at him. "I'm sick of you trying to start shit with me, dammit!"

"You certainly don't make it too hard." He says evenly, sounding stuck-up.

"Like hell! You fucking start crap with me right in front of people!" You're getting more pissed off by the minute. Why do you even bother to talk with him? He doesn't understand anything.

"Tch." He gives you a condescending look, and that feeling of being looked down upon only riles you up. "What with your little display this morning, I didn't think you'd mind."

"That because you- !" You stop yourself before you say anything embarrassing, but it's already too late. He's filling in the blanks, and you take another step back, not wanting to get into it. You don't want to know what he's got to say – whether it's excuses or apologies or whatever it is. You want to be done with him if all he's going to do is try to push past the boundaries you've set.

He doesn't say anything for a second, eyeing you carefully, and without wanting to, you're thrust into recalling smooth fingers and cold air where your shirt should have been. You have to fight the flush you can feel creeping across your face as your skin prickles, nearly cringing when you realize he sees it.

"…Because I what?" He asks slowly, his stance settling back haughtily. When you don't answer (your face feeling a few degrees hotter) his condescending look gets more pronounced, and you grit your teeth. "Sorry, I have a 'sucky' memory."

An intense silence follows his statement. You'd like to tell him off. Tell him exactly why you're pissed off with him – expose him for the uncaring, disgusting bastard he is. Hell, you want to tell him to go find another guy to fuck around with – he'd probably have more luck with someone else than him anyway, being the 'Prince' and all. You're quiet though. You won't answer to it. That's what he wants; to embarrass you again and make you slip up. He wants you to be angry. Wants you to forget that you don't want to touch him. Your vision gets sharper, the amethyst of his eyes coming into clearer focus, irritation and anger bubbling up inside of you quietly. "You're not going to win this one, damn rat." You inform him in a low voice, and you see his eyes flicker, his shoulders rising just a bit. For a second he looks…

Your fingers twitch.

Then a smirk rises on his face, tongue flashing out to wet his lips before he gives off a dark laugh. "I think I already have, stupid cat."

:trailing over your stomach:

You lunge at him, your fist flying straight for his face. He deflects it, as expected, but you're ready for the return kick that grazes your side on a backstep, and you're almost sure that the next punch you throw is going to land that you forget to leave enough control to fall back. He's faster than you anticipate – it really has been a while since you've come to blows – and he catches your wrist, turning into your body heavily to pull you around him at an odd angle. Your balance already gone, he lifts you into your own momentum, and you know that you're about to hit the ground hard. You have one second – probably less – to throw your arm back towards him, your hand only barely finding his sleeve. It's enough though, your fingers clench in the material and the next moment you plunge onto the hardwood floor with him following you down. You land heavily, losing your breath for a moment when he fuels the strength of the fall and lands on you, and you let out a grunt of pain. One of you hit the table in the hall, and a vase crashes to the ground, thankfully flung away from you, and you've no need to mind it at all.

You don't stay defenseless, though. You're on your guard in a second, and you've got enough leverage as he pushes himself up, hand gripping your collar and grounding into your throat, to swing your fist around at him again. He rears back, but not quite quick enough, and though the main force of your blow is off, he's gonna have a nice bruise on his cheekbone when it isn't red anymore. He glowers down at you, catching your wrist and pushing down, shifting so he can dig a knee into your thigh. You reach up and grab at his shirt with a grip equal to the one still pushing down on your neck. His breath is coming out in harsh pants, and he looks a little off balance since you're actually holding your own, for once. His lips are pressed tight together, glowering down at you like all of this is your fault. He feels heavy, putting all of his weight on you like he is, using it to hurt you. Your leg hurts. So does your elbow, having cracked off the ground when you fell. You hope his face hurts.

Neither of you are moving now. You're staring each other down. His grip on your shirt tightens, and you copy his movements, pulling more of it into your fist. You want to hit him again. You want to push him down and –

…!

His eyes sharpen to a hard steel, the nasty glare he had situated on you lifting slightly as he stares at you, a sudden heat electrifying the air between you. You can feel the pull – there's lust curling around you now, heavy and hot, drawing you to him. You struggle with it for a brief moment, trying to hate harder, stifle it with the reality of your situation – you shouldn't want him like that. He should only be there for your use, not pleasure. There's something else struggling in you too though, and it rises up sharply, full of pent-up illogical dissatisfaction. That's all it takes. You unintentionally let your hold on him slip, and the space between you closes with a rush.

Your teeth click together at initial contact. You have to tilt your head quickly to avoid much pain, your lips forced to part for him so his tongue can meet yours. The grip on your wrist tightens to the point of bruising, pushing your arm up a little higher over your head so he can brace himself over you. You can still feel his anger in the harshness of his mouth on yours, pulling away only to press into you at a different angle, the occasional scrape of his teeth making you wince at such a mocking bite.

You bite him back, his response to such resistance tipping your head back, making you feel far too vulnerable as he pulls you into a one-sided fight for dominance, kissing you harshly until you're out of breath, needing to stop yourself from squirming as your stomach does that flip-flopping it's been doing lately.

Then there are cool fingers on your neck, a thumb pushing your jaw up higher, and your eyes snap open.

--Yuki—

You pretend not to notice him stiffening, continuing to kiss him as if nothing has happened. He starts when you rub your thumb down his jaw, shrinking away beneath you. He doesn't pull away completely, though, and you push for further compliance.

Your cheek throbs where he actually managed to hit you, fueling your motive to hold him down and give him something to squirm about. You don't know anyone - save maybe your brother and Manabe - who knows how to get under your skin as easily as he does. In a second, you were ready to send him going through (another) wall. Your verbal spars have been getting more personal, and you know that you'll need to adjust to the closer relationship with him if you don't want both of you spiraling off the deep end. That's the thing about getting closer to someone; you know how to hurt them, and they know how to hurt you. You don't think either of you will do much with this information, but you know that the fights you both have are going to be a lot worse if you can't learn to keep it more superficial when it needs to be.

The hand that's gripping your shirt pushes a little in warning, making sure you know you're demanding something he doesn't want. The feel of his skin, as you've found, is just that much sweeter with the knowledge that it's forbidden to touch, so you can't quite help yourself when you keep sliding your fingers against his neck, angling his chin and teasing the warm skin with scrapes of your nail. You find the collar of his shirt, trace it softly, and are rewarded with a shudder and a shift – a small jerk of his body that accompanies the rough way he digs his knuckles into your chest, biting you again. You ignore that, kissing him harder and not giving up this new ground you've gained.

Some part of you has always enjoyed teasing Kyo – you don't know what it is about him that makes it so fun – in the same way you've always found him interesting to watch. It was just one of those things that you do without meaning to. It never crossed your mind that something like teasing him would get you into any kind of trouble. Sure, you meant for it to start fights – to get some kind of reaction out of him – but for this... again, that image of him squirming under you falls into place. Quite suddenly, you're very unaware of your actions, that quiet rush you feel whenever you're with him taking over and giving your body away to instinct. You want him. Now.

You push your hips down into his, hand sliding down his chest-

And that does it.

With an alarmingly frantic jerk, his head twists to the side, a hard shove to your front knocking the breath out of you as he yanks his arm from your grip and scrambles backwards a good few feet away from you. You stay where you are, on your knees and rubbing your chest soothingly. That'll bruise for sure.

Still a little shocked from such a panicked – and violent – reaction, you cough a few times, getting your breath back. That's the second hit he's got on you now. Looking at him, though, he looks far from pleased with himself. Far from that smugness he's capable of, and far from that anger that usually bursts from his seams and smothers anyone within five feet of him. No – he's got his head lowered, downcast eyes concealed for the most part, his heavy breathing sounding strangely loud in the now silent room. Your own adds to it, and you slowly register what you just tried to do. Shame prickles your hot skin.

Reality comes down on you like a brick, and you wonder if you've just ruined it.

You lean forward on your knees, one hand reaching out towards him. "Kyo…" You say, meaning to start an explanation, but he flinches away at your voice.

"Don't." He says quietly, making you freeze, and you don't like the way he sounds. There's no anger in it, like you're sure there should be. "Don't… touch me."

He looks up at you briefly, and you lose whatever you were going to say at the look he's got on his face. He's blushing like crazy, his entire face red, giving you a determined glare. However, he's missing that usual zeal for a fight; his shoulders are drawn forward, head lowered so that he has to look at you through his bangs, tense and anxious to the point where you can see his arms shaking.

What…

-Shigure-

Humming a small tune under your breath, you make your way to your front door. Today was a good one; after some fun meddling with your editor's mentality, you got all your manuscript in on time and perfected to top-quality work. You'll be surprised if that one doesn't hit the shelves. You open the door, loosening your professional looking tie as you toe off your shoes.

"I'm HOOO-OOOME!" You call out, your ears picking up on a small scuffle of movement and a few short footsteps. There's no familiar, sweet call of 'welcome back!' courtesy your lovely housewife, so you venture through the living room.

You find yourself walking in on what seems to be yet another fight between the two lively boys of your household. Kyo's back is to you, but you can just imagine the nasty look he's shooting back to match Yuki's. They're silent, breathing heavy as they stare each other down, and you're only slightly surprised by the pressured silence in the air, effectively silencing the cheery hello you were planning for both of them to lighten the mood.

"S-stay out of my room, you damned rat!" Kyo yells, the silence breaking on a strangely awkward note, and you offer him a smile when he turns to go by you. "Move." He says tersely, shouldering by you with his head lowered enough so that you can't see that enraged look he gets whenever he gets in a fight. You suspect he's gotten beaten by Yuki again, but you're surprised to find that the other actually has a lovely bruise blooming on the side of his face

"My my, Yuki-kun, did Kyo-kun actually –" Your eyes fall to the floor, following the shape of the overturned table to the shattered pieces of glass on the ground. "MY VASE!" You cry dramatically, painful-looking bruises forgotten.

Yuki rolls his eyes ever-so-cruelly at you as you kneel down, sobbing, to poke at one of the larger pieces. "This is coming out of your bank accounts…" You say glumly, sulking at the hallway in search for any more wreckage. "I just can't leave you boys alone can I? You're always breaking my lovely house."

"Like that's my fault." Yuki says coldly, leaving the hallway for a moment. He returns with a broom and a dust pan, the scrape of ceramic glass filling the lonely hallway in a semblance of a goodbye. "If that stupid cat didn't always get so worked up, none of this would happen."

You stand with a sigh, dropping it. It's not like that vase was anything too important. You were given it from a friend who just wanted to throw it away. It did look nice in this hallway though… After a moment of sullenly watching Yuki clean up the mess, you realize that the 'welcome back' you were waiting for still hadn't surfaced.

"Where's Tohru-kun?" You question, poking your head into the kitchen after following the home-wreaker in as he threw away the glass.

You watch him glance at the clock. "We were out of leeks, so she went to go pick some." He says. "She should be back in a moment." And then goes off to some other part of the house – hopefully nowhere near Kyo. You wonder if you can issue restraining orders so that they can't go near each other…

Musing on this idea, you idly walk down the other hall, planning to greet Honda-san when she enters through the back porch (and ask her what's for dinner, since you're a little hungry).

Something crunches under your foot as you step out, and you look down to find a couple leeks lying there. You pick them up.

'We're out of leeks, so she went to go pick some.'

Your eyebrows furrow as you examine them. They still had dirt on them and hadn't been cut down or anything, looking as if they had just been picked. What would they be doing on the porch? You look up, scanning the yard and the edge of the woods for any signs of your brown-haired flower, but she's nowhere to be seen. If she had gone out to get leeks, why were there some sitting right there? Unless she had already been back… and not gone in the house? There would be no reason for her to turn around, unless she'd forgotten something, and even then, it was unlikely that she wouldn't notice she'd dropped these since the logical thing to do would have been to put what she'd gotten in the kitchen. Yet Yuki hadn't mentioned she'd been back once. Curious, you decide to stay there, thinking the thing through. You could just be looking into it too much, but…

"Shigure-san! Welcome back!" A cheerful voice calls, and you look up to find Tohru walking towards you with a bundle of leeks in her hands. Nothing more. "Is Oyako Don okay for dinner?"

"That sounds heavenly." You say sweetly, moving the leeks behind your back as you open the door for her, happy at the polite 'thank you' before you follow her through to the kitchen. You place the hidden leeks in the bundle she put on the sink when her back is turned.

Again, you check her over for any signs of having dropped something, but she hadn't been carrying anything, and she doesn't mention any story of having to turn back for whatever reason. You spend some time in your study quietly contemplating it as you organize a few files that you'll need for work in the next week or so, and are about ready to chalk it up to one of those strange things that just seem to happen around here until dinner comes along.

All through dinner, you notice Tohru sneak small glances at Yuki and Kyo both, nervously keeping up a conversation and blushing at strange times. When they leave, her eyes follow them with an embarrassed, tentative look that continues through until bedtime comes around.

So… she saw something.

Your dog senses are tingling.

Rock on. Thanks for reading guys. Pleeeeeease remember to review, k? Watching my traffic go up and my reviews NOT come in makes me sad... ish. Anyway...

(1) Oyako don is just chicken with egg and leeks. Not sure if the leeks are optional, but WHATEVER. Kyo can have them not be there IF HE WANTS.

...8D BTW!!! Have any of you people SEEN THE FREAKING NEW QUIZNOS COMMERCIAL? WHAT THE HELL.

Oven: -in a sexy voice- Put it in me, Scott. OAO;

So, love you guys. I'll try not to be so neglectant anymore. As always, tell me if there are any mistakes since i REALLY hate finding them later on. Just another reason to review, ne? Bai bai!