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Chapter 10: If It Makes You Happy

If it makes you happy
It can't be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad?
— If It Makes You Happy by Sheryl Crow

That was his third shot now, on top of the scotch that he had downed when he first arrived there, and he was finally starting to feel the loopy effects—and it felt great. It numbed the pain he had been harboring since earlier that afternoon. He couldn't believe that he was jealous over some silly high school boy but he was. Just seeing him hug her and that smile she gave him when he handed the roses to her, ignited something in him that he'd never felt before. Did he love her? He felt that he had some kind of hold over her since she once been almost his but he had let her go because it wouldn't work, even once she was eighteen. And he knew that she wouldn't want to wait for them to be together once school ended—she had to enjoy her life too and maybe she was better off with someone her own age.

"Yo, Fitz, stop it with all that scholarly thinking and join the party! We got you buzzed for a reason," Charlie calls as he, Harrison, and their other friend Jon play some pool.

He fakes a smile and goes over to them, taking a cue in hand and aiming it at one of the balls on the table but missing terribly, making his friends burst out in laughter.

He groans. "Screw this. You guys know that I can't focus properly on the ball when I'm intoxicated. Just leave me alone," he tells them, going back to the bar and ordering a beer.

"You can't drink all of your troubles with those snotty kids away, bro," Harrison yells back at him.

Fitz waves his hand dismissively at him and mumbles, "Watch me," as he takes a long swig of the beer.

About ten minutes later, as he's sitting at the bar watching football on one of the plastered screens when he hears a woman call his name, "Fitz, I mean, Mr. Grant?"

He turns as a familiar-looking brunette with glasses sits next to him with a nervous smile on her face, stammering as she says, "Um, I-I don't know what you like to go by but I figured since we were outside of school I could call you Fitz…can I call you Fitz?"

"And who are you?" He asks, trying to place where he knows her from.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I wasn't sure if you would recognize me—it's Mellie, well, Ms. Brooklyn at the high school. I'm one of the Algebra and Geometry teachers."

"Oh. Yeah, I know you," he lies, giving her a lazy smile. "Do you come here often?"

"No, not really, but it's been a hectic week so I just thought I'd get a few drinks and wind down."

He nods. "This week has sucked for me, too, but there's nothing that a nice scotch can't cure. Do you want me to order you one?"

"Uh, yeah-yes, sure," she says, stumbling over her words again. Fitz doesn't know why he's being so nice to her, since she wasn't really the type of girl he would pick up and take home when he used to go out to clubs a lot but he figures that the abundance of alcohol and his sadness is clouding his judgment. Nevertheless, he orders the drink for her and they spend the rest of the evening at the bar.

Olivia only had a week left to go dress shopping but she had waited until the last minute because it was the only time her mom would be available. They hadn't done anything together in the longest time and Olivia thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to do something together. She had really missed spending time with her.

"Hello," her mom answers.

"Hey, mom."

"Olivia! How's my baby?"

She smiles at her mom's happy tone. "I'm good, but I wanted to know when you're coming to pick me up?"

"Pick you up? For what?"

Olivia furrows her eyebrows, hoping her mom didn't forget. "Remember last week I called you so that you could take me dress shopping for the homecoming dance and you said you would?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm sorry, baby, but I can't. Didn't I tell you that I was flying out of the country for business this weekend?"

"No," she answers tersely.

"Well, again, I'm sorry but I can't take you. Why don't you ask your dad?"

"I'm not asking dad to take me dress shopping. This is like the tenth time you've cancelled on me, mom, you promised," she tells her, hoping she would change her mind but it doesn't work. She never changed her mind.

"I know, but I made a mistake scheduling both things on one weekend. How about next weekend?"

"The dance is next weekend. You know what, it's fine. I'll just ask Abby instead," Olivia says, getting fed up.

"Okay, then, baby. I have to go now but have fun. Bye."

Olivia doesn't even say bye and instead ends the call and tosses her phone on her bed. Why do I even try? She hadn't even seen her mom in over a year because of the same lousy excuses she continued to give her every time Olivia wanted to do something with her. The first few times, Olivia had been understanding because she knew her mom was a workaholic and was always travelling, so Olivia made it a point to schedule things way ahead of time but her mom still found a way to wiggle her way out of every activity. Her brothers had already accepted that she didn't want anything to do with them but it was harder for Olivia since they used to be so close, then after the divorce she started drifting away until she just stopped even making an effort to see any of her kids. Now Olivia was wondering if she should stop trying to make an effort as well.

She grabs her phone and goes down to the kitchen to get a snack and call Abby about dress shopping. She was pretty positive that she hadn't bought a dress yet either since she would've been raving about it at school. Her father and Becca stride in to the kitchen together as Olivia calls her but she's surprised when Abby tells her that she's flying out to New York that afternoon to go visit a sick relative and will go dress shopping there as well. Olivia hangs up and sighs frustrated, mumbling, "Why is everyone rejecting me today?"

"If you want, I could take you dress shopping," Becca offers with a small smile.

"No, it's alright…"

"Actually, I think that it would be great for you two gals to go together," Eli chimes in. Did he really just call us gals? "I'm going to take the boys out a little later so maybe you two should as well."

"Dad—"

"You guys are going together, Olivia, whether you like it or not," he tells her sternly. Twenty minutes later, Olivia and Becca are on their way downtown to where all the nice dress shops are. Olivia is grateful that they didn't have to make conversation during the drive since Becca was on the phone with someone from work but that changes once she ends the call and the enter the first store.

"So…tell me about this Kenny fellow. Simon told me about how he asked you to homecoming and he seems to be quite the charmer," she says with a wink, as she they both look through a rack.

"Yeah, he's alright," she says dryly. "But we came here for the dresses, not to discuss my date so could we stick to that, please?"

Becca nods subtly. "Yeah, sorry."

Olivia sighs, feeling slightly bad for her bitchiness but not bad enough to apologize.

"So, is there anything specific you're looking for?" Becca asks.

Olivia shrugs. "Just an evening gown."

Becca nods. "Okay, and how about color? I personally think that you'd look best in red, black, or white," she says happily.

"Yeah, whatever," Olivia agrees, not really caring about what color the dress was as long as it looked good on her.

"I agree," says one of the clerks who was helping out other girls with the same purpose around the store. "I'm guessing you two are searching for a homecoming dress?"

Olivia nods but Becca answers, "Mmhmm, she's a senior and this is her last homecoming, not to mention she has a date this year, so we want to make sure that she has the perfect dress."

"Oh, well, congrats on all of that," the woman says, smiling courteously.

"Thanks," Olivia mumbles.

"If you'll follow me, I have a few dresses in mind that you might like." Olivia tries on all of the dresses and models them out for Becca but they both agree that none of them really fit her right. Some were too puffy, some she thought made her look fat, and some were just too busy.

"Maybe we should just try a different place," she says, needing a short break from all the changing in and out of dresses.

"Wait, try this. I think this might be the one even though it's still a little early on to tell, but just give it a shot," Becca says, holding out the dress.

"Alright," Olivia quickly takes it into the dressing room and changes and once she sees how it looks on her, she knows that it's the one.

It was a long, strapless black gown with a leg slit that went up to her lower thigh and hugged her body perfectly. She steps out and models the dress for Becca and she can't help but smile at how great it feels.

"Do you like it?" Becca asks timidly.

"I love it! Thanks…" Olivia tells her with coy smile. Maybe she wasn't that bad—at least she knew how to pick out a great dress.

"You're welcome. You look gorgeous. Do you think this is the one?"

She nods. "I do, but it's a little risky with the leg slit. I don't know if my dad will let me get away with it," she says, knowing that her father had a tendency to be a little more critical of the way she dressed with her being his only daughter.

"Since when do you listen to what anyone says?" she asks with a knowing look.

Olivia rolls her eyes with a short laugh. "You have a point but do you really think he'll be fine with it?"

"I think so, but if not, I'll make sure he gets on board. There's no way I'm letting him make you give up this dress. It looks too good on you."

Olivia changes out of the dress and they go to check out but when she pulls out her money to pay for the dress, Becca hands the clerk her credit card.

"You don't need to do that, I have enough money to pay. I've been saving up," Olivia tells her. The dress was a bargain at $90 but Olivia had brought along a few hundred from her savings and Christmas and birthday money gifts.

"I know, but I want to pay. Don't worry about it," Becca says with a simple smile, as the clerk hands the dress to them in a garment bag.

As they drive back home, Olivia can't help but feel a little down. She had found the perfect dress, she had a nice date, but she couldn't help but imagine the fantasy of Fitz being her date of the evening. She imagined how dashing and sexy he would look in a black tux with his hair gelled to perfection except for his stubborn Superman curl. She imagined how good it would feel to slow dance in his strong arms. She had thoughts like this of him everyday and she hated and loved it at the same time. She hated how much of a strong hold he had on her and she was angry at him for letting her go but no matter how hard she tried to move on it was nearly impossible. And she loved it because he had been the first person in a long time who had seen her and understood her and she couldn't deny the strong feelings she had for him. Did she love him?

"Thinking about what your Mr. Handsome will think of you in your dress?" Becca says, with a knowing smile.

"Something like that…"

Fitz is sitting at home on a Wednesday night, catching up on some dread grading. He was reading over essays of his students, some who had tried to do well but just couldn't quite the main point of the assignment and some just hadn't tried at all. The best were from the two Popes. Simon's had been great as usual and he had just finished reading Olivia's essay and he had to say that hers was by far the best, not because of his former personal ties with her, but because she was just that good. He loved her insight and different ways of tackling a subject. She was so intelligent even though she told him she would probably end up just going to a local community college because she had let her grades fall in the past few years and she felt they weren't good enough for her to get into a good school, but so many other factors went into the college application process and he didn't doubt that she could go anywhere she wanted, especially with her smarts. He gives her a 100 percent and is about to add in some creditable notes when his phone rings.

It's an unknown number but he still answers. "Hello."

"Hi, Fitz. It's Mellie," says the high-pitched, chipper voice on the other end. He doesn't remember giving her his number before he left with the guys but he guesses that he must've while he was drunk. He groans out but realizes that she could easily hear him and makes an attempt to turn the sound into a cough as he responds in a plain tone, "Hey, Mellie. What's up?"

"Well, I think that we really hit it off the other night and I was wondering if you wanted to maybe go out on a date Saturday night, say 7?" She asks. He remembered that they had enjoyed a few drinks and had a few laughs that Friday night but he had only been so nice and open with her because he was lonely and she was there. He had no interest in her and now he was hating himself for getting her hopes up and most of all giving her his phone number in the first place.

"Uh…" He starts to say as his phone beeps, alerting him that he has an incoming call from Bob. "Just a sec, Mellie."

He switches to Bob's call, ever thankful and answers. "Hey."

"Hey, Fitz. I was just calling to ask a favor of you."

"Yeah, anything."

"Well, now that you say that, how would you feel about chaperoning the school dance on Saturday?"

"Hmm, I don't know, Bob…" He didn't want to go to the dance and have to watch Olivia and Kenny have the time of their lives on the dance floor as he stood by enviously, but at the same time he really didn't want to go on this date with Mellie and even though he could give her just any excuse, if he told her he would be at the dance, he at least had a justifiable reason.

"Oh, come on, Fitz. It won't be that bad, just a few hours. One of the teachers just said he wouldn't be able to make it and I really need someone else so that the teachers already signed up don't get too overwhelmed. Plus, I've heard that a lot of the senior class likes you as a teacher and will most likely listen to you if anything gets out of control. Please."

Fitz sighs. "Yeah, alright, I'll do it."

"Thanks."

He ends the call and switches back to Mellie. "Sorry about that, Mellie. And I actually can't go out on a date with you because I have to be on teacher duty at the dance Saturday night."

"Oh…I would say we should do something in the afternoon but I have to take my two cats to a check-up appointment at the vet…" she says disappointedly.

Fitz smirks at the mention of her taking her cats to appointments and says seriously, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Maybe another time?"

"Maybe another time," he reluctantly agrees.

"Okay, have fun at the dance. Bye, Fitz."

"Goodbye, Mellie."

By seven o' clock the night of the dance Olivia was ready. She had put on her dress, done her make-up, and let Becca handle her hair and during that time she had managed not to make a snappy comment. They were making progress. She's about to head downstairs where she had heard her father and Kenny talking for the past ten minutes and she could tell that her father was especially pleased by the fact that Kenny came to pick her up from the house like a gentleman. She finally starts down the stairs slowly and takes in Kenny at the bottom of the stairs who stops talking as soon as he sees her. His eyes and mouth gape open and for a second he's speechless before he finally says, "You look amazing."

Her brothers Matt and Simon are also there, dressed in the tuxedos that their father made them both buy. Matt makes a gagging sound as he points up to her and she flips him off, earning a disapproving look from her father but it doesn't stay for long as he grins up at his beautiful daughter.

She smiles kindly at Kenny as she makes it to the bottom of the stairs. "You look great yourself," she says to him. He did look pretty handsome in a black tux and bow tie.

"Okay, picture time," Becca says, ushering them over to in front of the fireplace. Olivia and Kenny take a few pictures together before makes the three siblings do a many together as she constantly rearranges them. By the end of it, Olivia has just about had it but then Kenny leans in and tells her that they have to stop by his parents because they'd ground him for year if they didn't get pictures of their own.

They soon leave her house and head over to Kenny's, where she gets to meet his parents who are just as eccentric as their son and make Olivia feel like a member of the family in almost no time. After about 8 billion pictures more, she and Kenny are finally able to head over to the dance. They meet Abby and her date, along with Huck and Quinn who decided to come as each other's dates, in front of the school and then they all head into the gym together.

Fitz had been messing around on his phone for the past thirty minutes, acting like he was interested in the topic his fellow teacher and parent chaperones were discussing when he rather be anywhere else. Bob had told him that he needed to be there in case anything went sour with the kids but he'd been there for an hour already and nothing outlandish had happened.

He didn't think that his night could get any worse but he's wrong as he looks towards the entrance of the gym and sees Olivia walk in on Kenny's arm. He wants to look away but he can't even think straight at the sight of her in a strapless black gown that made her look like a runway model. He scans her flawless leg that's peaking its way through the dress's long leg slit. His mouth waters at her Marilyn Monroe-esque rosy red lips and her gorgeous hair that fell into big, flowing waves past her shoulders. How could anyone look so perfect?

He continues to watch her as she and Kenny converse with their friends and then hit the dance floor together. Fitz feels his heart breaking piece by piece and his jealous quickly building up as she grinds on Kenny and what irritated Fitz the most was that the kid didn't even know what he was doing! He was doing some weird thing with his hips so it looked like he was having a spasm. Olivia sees that he's not quite getting the hang of it and turns around, laughing at him as she puts her arms around his neck and simplifies the dance to a simple bouncing around. If Fitz was dancing with her he would give her the time of her life and much more. The song soon changes to a popular slow dance song as those without dates quickly disperse of the floor. Fitz watches as Olivia stares serenely into Kenny's eyes and then leans on his shoulder as they sway to the music. She looked happy and peaceful and while he was at least glad for that, he couldn't stand seeing her in someone else's arms. He quickly excuses himself from the other teachers, saying he had to go fetch something out of his car even though he has no intention of coming back until the dancing is over and he exits the gym.

As Olivia and Kenny sway to the music, Olivia thinks about the miserable look on Fitz's face as he looked out onto the dancing crowd. She wondered what he was even doing here since school dances didn't seem to be his thing and he hadn't seemed to fake his happiness at seeing her with Kenny. As they danced, she could feel his eyes trained on her the whole time but she wasn't going to try to lessen her enjoyment to fit his liking—it's not like he had strong enough feelings for her fight for their relationship anyway.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Kenny asks her.

"Oh, nothing," she says, shaking her head and smiling subtly at him. He seemed like he was going to say something more but he instead stares at her for a long moment before closing his eyes and leaning in slowly. She lets him kiss her, not exactly returning the gesture because it just didn't feel right to her. She didn't have feelings for him this way and she didn't know why he was trying to take them to this stage when she had never insinuated any interest in him before.

He pulls away from her and says shakily, "I-I know we said that we were going to this thing as friends but…just seeing you tonight and spending this time with you has made me realize just how much I have feelings for you. I really like you, Olivia," he tells her with a timid smile.

She opens her mouth, trying to let him down easy but doesn't know what to say without hurting his feelings and ruining the night for the both of them. She forces a smile and whispers, "Me, too," to him, instantly regretting it, knowing that she's misleading him and that this would most likely end badly. He grins at her, pecking her lips one more time and then continuing to dance.

Fitz wakes up two hours later, hearing a loud sound in the distance. He looks outside and sees students heading towards their cars in the distance. While most of the students parked in front of the gym, he had parked in a slightly secluded place behind the school where the teachers usually kept their cars in an effort to keep his from getting scratched from any drunk on fun kids. He turns the music down and gets out of the car, needing some fresh air before he goes back into the school to make it look like he hadn't ditched the rest of the chaperones.

He gets out of his car, yawning and stretching and when he looks up, he sees Olivia about thirty feet away, standing by herself in front of the gym. They make eye contact and not knowing what else to do, he smiles and waves at her. She does the same and then looks away but after several moments she starts towards him. He both dreaded and was excited by her coming over to him. She was the reason he had gone outside in the first place but she was like a drug and he couldn't get enough of her even if it hurt.

"Hi," he says, noticing how much more gorgeous she looked up close.

"Hi," she responds coyly, glancing away from him. He remembered when they were so close that she would hug him without a second thought but now it felt like there was a million miles in between them. Had he made a mistake cutting off their friendship?

"You look…beautiful," he tells her, making her look up at him as her breath hitches. Maybe all wasn't lost. He still had this effect on her, maybe she still had feelings for him.

"Thanks," she says with a timid smile.

"So, why're you waiting outside by yourself?"

"Kenny couldn't find the car and my feet were killing me so he had me wait in front of the school while he searched."

Fitz nods, not knowing what else to say but not wanting her to leave quite yet. He's about to ask her about her evening when she says, "This is our song—well, the song we danced to in Hawaii."

Fitz realizes that he forgot to turn his radio off and listens as Journey's "Faithfully" plays softly. He smiles at the memory. "Yeah, I know." Before he can stop himself, he says the first thing that comes to his mind which was also what he had asked her back in Hawaii. "Do you want to dance?"

She raises her eyebrows at him. "Are you crazy? Anyone could see us…I thought that you didn't want that to happen," she says with a tinge of spite.

"Not here," he says, gesturing to the other side of the car. He walks over and she surprisingly follows him. He looks at her with earnest eyes as he takes her hand. "Can it just be me and you? No teacher, no student, just Olivia and Fitz for two minutes."

She stares long and hard into his eyes and he can see her barriers quickly breaking down as she nods. She steps into his arms, positioning one hand on his shoulder blade and matching the other with his palm, intertwining their fingers. He places his hand on her lower back and begins to sway them to the music. He feels so much calmer with her in his arms—he loves the feeling of her soft, dainty hand in his, her wonderful scent, the feeling of her leaning into his chest, her warmth, and most of all the matching of their beating hearts. He's never wanted her more in this moment.

He hangs his head down into her shoulder, resting his cheek against hers. He brushes his lips against her bare shoulder, causing her to shiver and before he knows it, a simple brush turns into a feathery kiss which turns into him flicking his tongue against her skin, eliciting a moan from her.

"Fitz…" But she doesn't move away from him, instead she grasps him tighter as his lips crawl up to her neck. He softly nips at her neck with every kiss, loving the way that her body reacts as she tilts her head, exposing her neck to him even more. He takes his time caressing his way up to her jawline, pausing briefly at the edge of her mouth before softly attacking her lips. She hesitates for a few seconds before fully giving into him and kissing him back fiercely as their tongues fight for dominance. She moans in his mouth as she wraps her arms tightly around his neck and he backs her up against his car door, pushing their bodies together.

He feels his junk rapidly growing by the second and knows that if he doesn't stop now, he'll take her right where they stand. They pull apart but stay forehead to forehead, out of breath. He stares into her beautiful brown doe eyes and in the midst of their panting he whispers to her, "I love you."

He doesn't know why he said it but those three words conveyed everything he was feeling in this moment and he wouldn't take them back because he knew in his heart that they were true. He loved her. But he doesn't get the reaction he expected. She stares at him for a long moment and then forcefully shoves him away.

She stumbles away from him until there's a considerable amount of distance between them, flooding his body with the coldness of the night air. She looks at him with angry eyes as tears stream down her face and she yells, "You can't tell me that! How dare you tell me that? I hate you."

He opens his mouth dumfounded and not knowing what to say as she continues, "How can you say that when you're the one that pushed me away."

"Liv, you know that I had no other choice," he tries to say.

"Yes, you did, you could've made it work between us. You didn't even try, you just cut us off like we were nothing."

"It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but I did it to protect both you and me."

She shakes her head, backing away from him. "Screw that, if you really wanted to you would've made it work. You don't know how much I need…" she stops herself and says sternly amidst her crying, "You don't love me—you just like me in a pretty dress and because I gave you some lip action, but that's it. We're done. Just leave me alone."

She scurries back to the school, leaving Fitz even lonelier and more upset than before. This was supposed to be a special night for her and he had ruined it by going too far. He angrily kicks his tire and curses at the physical and emotional pain he's feeling. He then gets in his car, ready to head to the nearest bar.

Olivia had done her best to clean up the mascara on her face, though she was sure someone would notice if they looked clearly, which is why she was thankful for the darkness as Kenny drove her back to her house. When they arrive, he walks her to her door but doesn't say goodnight just yet.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asks with a wary look on his face.

"What? No," she says trying to covering up her hoarse voice as she forces a smile.

"You still seem kind of sad, though. I was hoping that me taking you to homecoming would cheer you up but…"

"I'm fine, Kenny. And I loved tonight. You didn't do anything wrong, I'm just going through some stuff…Mother Nature stuff," she lies.

"Oh…" he says, catching on from their conversation about a week ago. "But you enjoyed tonight?"

"It was the best. Thanks," she says, giving him a shaky smile.

"Well, I'm glad, then. Anything to put that smile on your face," he says with a big grin. "Goodnight." He hesitates before he lays a soft kiss on her cheek and then heads back to his car.

Olivia quietly sneaks into the house, hearing her father and Becca laughing in the kitchen. She knew they'd want to hear all about her night but at this point Olivia was just trying to keep all her emotions in and not break out in tears again, like she knew she would if she even started talking about the night. She just wanted to go to bed and forget about the last part of her night. She quickly sneaks upstairs and heads to her room.

I put a lot in that chapter, whoo! I'm sorry for any errors, I'll edit this properly tomorrow but I need to get some sleep now. Leave your thoughts on Fitz, Liv, Olitz, Mellie (lol), Kenny, and any other topics. Thanks for reading!