I am on a roll here! And everyone who reads "Melody in Black" and "Shadows Are Supposed to Stay Sleeping" hate me right now. Eheh…
Anyway, you might notice a slight spelling change with some certain tribes names. This is due to…um…well, let's just say I'd never seen them in text format until, like, two days ago. (nervous laughter)
(Disclaimer: Chapter title taken from the name of a Mipedian Mugic.)
13: Notes of Neverwhere
"You are never strong enough that you don't need help." –Cesar Chavez
Lord Nameless.
Xilvin's fork fell from his gloved fingers with a clatter and his expression became pained as he kneaded his forehead with his knuckles.
"No…" He moaned softly, "Please…no more…these visions…they…hurt too much…"
Pictures blazed like stars across his consciousness…
His fingers slip off the metal bar. Fear. He screams as he falls. The ground! Agony is burning in his leg. He screams and cries. Oh, it hurts! Someone make it stop! He can't breath. Darkness and pain are making his head spin…
Laughter. A white table. Friends. They laugh together. What were their names…
Icey wind bites at his cheeks and he shivers. The cold is intense. The snow is almost blinding. But he made a promise. He has to do this. Even in the bitter cold. He takes a step forward in the snow. Then another. And another…
The table. The same table. He laughs beside Tom and…and…who are they…
"P…Peyton…" Xilvin gasped through his teeth as leaned back in his chair, panting, "And…S…S…Sarah…" He ran a hand through his long bangs, blinking to clear the last images from his mind's eye, "But how do I know that?" The Nobody stared at his hands as though they could give him the answer.
It was breakfast the morning after Tom's little episode (if one could call it "little") and Xilvin had the miserable job of guarding the OverWorld Cafeteria. That meant eating in the same room as the humans who loathed him and would rather see him Faded.
The Howling Storm peered through his fingers at the teenagers and adults milling around in the usual morning drowsiness. It seemed so unreal to him; almost as though the rest of the world was blurred at the edges and he was in perfectly clear sharp focus. Or maybe he was the one who was blurry. Whichever it was, Xilvin sensed a detachment from the rest of the world. His only reasoning for this was that he was a Nobody, something that was not even supposed to exist, and the rest of the world was…well, they were Somebody's.
"Once upon a time there were four persons named Everybody, Somebody, Nobody, and Anybody." Xilvin glanced up and saw the twin Khaos brother standing over his with identical smiles. Conner was the one who was talking to him, "When there was an important job to be done, Everybody was sure Somebody would do it."
"Anybody could have done it," Scotty picked up where his brother left off, "But Nobody did it. When Nobody did it, Everybody became angry because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Somebody would do it, but Nobody realized that Nobody would do it."
"Eventually," The twins said together, "Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done in the first place."
Xilvin tilted his head to the side and snorted, mustering up the mask of confused indifference that had come to be associated with him. He was a new Nobody and even though he was learning fast, his basic display of "emotions" was limited to what he mimicked from others. Confusion seemed to the easiest if second only to the slightly cold, nonchalant indifference that gave him something that could almost be called a personality.
"Can I help you?" His voice cracked huskily as he stretched his arms towards the ceiling with a yawn.
"Yeah," The twins snarled, "Get out."
"Not happening." Xilvin responded as coldly as he could, turning his hazel eyes to the window instead. The table jolted as both Khaos brothers slammed their fists on it simultaneously.
"Get out of this room." They hissed in unison, "And either go back to where you came from or go help your buddies clean up the mess they've made!"
"Scotty! Conner! That's enough!" Tobias grabbed his younger siblings back the backs of their shirts and hauled them backwards away from the table, "Go do something productive." The twins stuck their tongues out at Tobias but scampered off to do as they were told. Tobias turned his attention back to Xilvin, tugging at his rather ragged looking goatee, "Come with me, we need to talk."
"No." Xilvin tucker his hands behind his head, closed his eyes, and kicked his feet up on the table, showing off his heavy black boots and making an attempt to make Tobias mad, "I have orders. I have to stay in here."
"Do want to cause a scene in here," Tobias gestured to the mingling people, "Or in there?" He pointed to the doors to the Mipedian Cafeteria, "Tom's waiting."
"Tom?" Xilvin blinked and found himself on his feet, following the oldest Khaos brother to the door without even realizing he was doing so. Even as he willed himself to stop, he found that he could not.
The doors slammed shut ominously behind him.
Tom stood in the center of the room, arms at his sides, as though he'd been standing there the whole time. Which he probably had. Xilvin studied the cold fire burning in the blue eyes beneath the black bangs; Tom hated the Organization but, it seemed, he couldn't bring himself to hate his best friend's Nobody quite as much as he'd have liked to.
Number XIV stopped a few feet away, aware that Tobias was watching from the shadowy corner of the room.
"What?" He asked flatly.
Tom winced, took a deep breath, stood there with his mouth open like an idiot for a moment or two, and then spoke very slowly in a voice broken by a sore throat, "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Tom's distraught expression told him he'd said the wrong thing, "I'm mean, it's okay. I…forgive you."
"Stop it." Tom hissed but it wasn't in anger, it was something like an inner pain, "Stop trying to be something you're not." The boy sat down heavily in a nearby chair but Xilvin remained standing. Human edict was almost a foreign concept to him, "Look, I don't know what you know or remember about Kaz but he was my best friend. I've always been kind of a jerk about…a lot of things and—."
"You didn't believe Chaotic existed." Xilvin wondered why the words rushed out of his mouth so naturally, "That…hurt Kaz." The unfamiliar term stumbled past his lips. He couldn't understand feelings at all.
"Bring that up, of all things…" Tom muttered, running his hand across his face like he could make the memory vanish. Xilvin wished he could, "What I meant to say was that I need your help." Blue flashed against hazel, "I need you to help me get Kaz back."
"That's all I'm good for." Xilvin said, trying to make a joke but Tom only stiffened, "Yeah, okay. Help. Sure. Kaz. Right." The Nobody turned his back on the teen, heading back for the door. Then he paused and turned around, "By the way, you're not the only one who's looking for Kaz's heart." And he spun back towards the doors, vanishing through them before Tom could say anything.
"Satisfied?" Tobias asked, smiling at Tom's bewildered expression.
"I don't get him." Tom replied, "He's…weird. Like he's trying too hard to act like he has emotions. And…what did he mean I'm not the only one looking for Kaz's heart?"
"Exactly what he said." Tobias responded calmly, hands tucked into his pockets, "From what I understand, Nobodies are not supposed to exist and so they strive to find a way to do so. The only way for them to exist is to find their hearts and become the people they once were." Tobias smiled at Tom and readjusted his glasses, "They are forever searching for survival, just as the Creatures of Perim are forever searching for the Cothica."
"Oh…" Tom said vaguely, looking back towards the doors, "I think I get it now."
As Xilvin made his way back towards his usual spot, a painful throb started to build behind his eyes. Within seconds, it had escalated to a pulsing beat that stabbed pain across his vision and forehead. The Nobody stumbled against a table, a hand to his head, and swallowed thickly as the edges of the room became fuzzy.
What was happening?
Agony made his head pound and he made a mad dash for the Danian door. He burst through them and got halfway through the Cafeteria before a wave of heat and dizziness sent him crashing to the floor and into the blackness of unconsciousness…
He feels very small and yet at the same time very noticeable.
Everyone's staring at him.
'Cause he's the new kid.
He sinks lower in his seat, feeling his face turn red behind his large glasses.
His parents say this small town will be better than Chicago.
Better for him.
The lunch room is so noisy. It makes his head spin. He wants to disappear, to sink into the ground so that no one can stare at him anymore.
But he can't.
So he reaches into the pockets of his baggy jeans and pulls out a stack of cards. His tiny fingers begin to shuffle through them, chocolate eyes alight as he goes over them the same way he's done over and over again.
"Hey! You like Chaotic!?" An excited voice asks above him and he looks up. There's a boy standing over him with messy black hair and large, vibrant blue eyes. His gray T-shirt is faded, there are holes in the knees of his jeans, his tennis shoes have seen better days, and a fading bruise stands out against the side of his cheek.
"Yeah…" He replies warily, holding his deck close to his chest. It's the only one he's got.
"Me too!" The boy grins, "I'm Tom!" The boy holds his hand out, still grinning.
"Uh…Kaz." He says and slowly takes Tom's hand. Tom laughs and pumps Kaz's arm up and down enthusiastically. Kaz jerks his arm back, rubbing his sore wrist. There is still a dark mark there from the bruise left by the IV.
"Wanna play?" Tom reaches into his jeans and pulls out his own deck. It's battered and rough but well loved all the same.
"Yeah. Sure!" Kaz smiles back.
A friend.
He actually has a friend.
Xilvin felt the moan bubble past his lips and escape into the air. His eyes fluttered open and he saw the dark ceiling that made up the UnderWorld Cafeteria.
"Hey, looks who's awake." Axel's chiding tones made the Howling Storm sit up and look around. He was on the floor of the Cafeteria that the Organization claimed as their living quarters.
"What happened?" Xilvin rubbed a hand across his forehead but there were no remaining aches and pains from…whatever it was.
"I saw you go down in the Danian Cafeteria," Axel replied, tugging a lock of his fiery red hair, "You didn't move after that so I dragged you back in here." The Flurry of the Dancing Flames put his elbows on his knees and propped his chin in his hands, "So, what did you see?"
"Huh?"
"What. Did. You. See?"
"I…I…it was…" Xilvin struggled to bring the vision back to mind, "A…a memory, I think." He looked at Axel for confirmation but the other Nobody made no response so he turned his gaze to the floor, "I don't understand. I keep seeing these…flashes of things that aren't mine. I don't know…"
"Roxas has 'em to." Number VIII leaned back in his chair, "Every night, he says, he has dreams where he becomes a—." Axel stopped and looked down his nose at Xilvin, "You know what, you should ask him about it, not me."
"But I—."
"Ask Roxas." Axel said, getting to his feet and stretching, "Got it memorized?" He stepped backwards with a grin and was enclosed in a dark oval that was a Passage of Darkness.
"What a jerk." Xilvin muttered, getting to his feet, "Roxas never comes back until late. He spends all his time Heartless hunting." Number XIV stared out the window for a moment or two, watching the snow sparkling on the peaks of the mountains beyond, "Maybe that's the best place to talk to him though…"
The Nobody punched a fist into his other hand as he came to a decision. Then he paused, staring at his hands, wondering briefly why he'd done such a thing. Shaking his head, he waved his fingers through the air and disappeared into the Passage of Darkness.
Oh my gosh, it's filler! (laughs insanely) It's all freaking filler but I love it all! Wahahahahahahahahaha!
Okay, writing Xilvin is freaking hard. He doesn't grasp the concept of displaying emotions yet so he's like a freaking rock. But I like the memory scene with Kaz and Tom as little kids. It's so cute! X3
I'm also having a hard time with remembering episodes because took off all the episodes from the old season with the old animation style. So, you know, if anyone has some favorite episodes that star our lovable and huggable Kazzer leave me a review or PM me and I'll see if I can use 'em! It'd be a great help!
Oh, and, I think I got that thing right. The Cothica? Is that right? I'm not sure. Please don't hate me if it's wrong.
Does anyone read these anyway? Or am I just ranting?
Okay. I'm done. Really.
Aaannnnyyywwaaaaayyyyy, thanks a ton for reading, please leave a review, and byes!