Chapter 4

Two days. Two more days.

Anger started setting in. Rage.

Bo stared at the wall-the wall that she'd begun to hate. She wanted to tear it down. To punched through it.

Several hours ago, her hands had started to tremble, nonstop. She was weak, exhausted, and hollow.

She swallowed another scream.

She tried to steady herself.

It was all becoming too much.

Too much.

She stared at the wall as if it was a monster that she needed to slay.

She buried in head in between knees, squeezing her eyes shut.

Was Lauren really there? Was she really on the other side? These questions started to eat away at her. She wasn't sure of anything, anymore. Did Trick really visit her? She wasn't sure she could trust her own mind.

Her mind was raw; her body was numb but two days, two more days.

Her eyes popped open; as a realization hit her all a ton of bricks-she was a succubus, with the power of persuasion at her fingertips. All she had to do was get one finger on the guard that brought her meals.

Why haven't she thought of that sooner?

Relief flooded through as she realized she now had a plan. A plan to get to Lauren. All she had to do was wait.

For the first time in days, she was able to relax, even just slightly.

XXXXX

She kissed her friend. She kissed Lauren. Lauren.

Oh God, she thought. It was perfect. Lauren's lips were so soft, warm, everything she'd hoped it would be-more actually.

She remembered the electric charged that seemed to shoot through her body from the touch. Her lips seemed to tingle for hours after the kiss. Even now, she found herself bringing her fingertips up to her lips, Lauren's phantom kiss still lingering there.

The kiss. She really, really wanted to do it again. And again.

She sighed turning over in the bed, how was she ever going to get to sleep when her mind kept fixating on Lauren and her perfect lips.

She heard a light tapping on her window. She'd know that sound anywhere. Lauren.

The nightly reading sessions they shared lessened, over the past year but occasionally Lauren would still show up, her eyes puffy with dark circles underneath.

Whenever Bo would ask about what happened, Lauren would shrug if off, saying that sometimes she had difficulty sleeping and being with Bo helped her unwind. She knew it wasn't an outright lie, but there was definitely more to it. Lying by omission, something they were both guilty of so often.

Tonight was one of those nights.

Panic coursed through her; they hadn't spoken about the kiss, and Bo wasn't sure how to proceed.

She decided to be casual and follow Lauren's lead.

"Hey, Lauren," Bo said as Lauren climbed through the window, "What should we read tonight?" she asked.

For the first time in forever, Bo didn't have that gnawing anxious feeling in her stomach at seeing Lauren. Now it was something different-guilt. Guilt at feeling relief that Lauren still needed her, that she still turned to her in times of distress. Lauren was in pain and Bo was happy to see her, she knew that made her selfish.

Lauren was silent and climbed into bed with Bo, lying next to her. They stared at each other for several seconds. Her eyes were dark and distant.

That familiar ping of helplessness rushing through her as she looked into Lauren's broken face. She wanted so much to take all her pain away, but she didn't have any idea how, when Lauren wouldn't let her.

Now definitely wasn't the time to talk about a kiss, Bo could see that.

"Lauren…" Bo started, but Lauren put her hand up to stop her.

"Is it ok, if I lay here for awhile and sleep? She asked her eyes glassy. "I'm so exhausted."

"Of course."

Bo lay silently awake. The warmth of Lauren against her filled her with a feverish energy that seemed to surge through her whole body. And even though Bo craved more between them, this was comfortable. It was nice being this close.

She watched Lauren drift off to sleep. Her face was dimly illuminated by the moonlight, and she took note of how strikingly beautiful she looked, she studied her face, she seemed relaxed now, peaceful, the tension in her face from before gone.

She wanted to ask what happened. She wanted caress her cheek with her fingertips, to tell her everything would be ok, to hold and kiss her. But no, she just laid still and savored this quiet moment of closeness.

XXXX

Bo awoke with Lauren sleeping softly next to her. She gently untangled herself, trying not to wake her.

But after a moment Lauren began to stir, the loss of Bo's body heat pulling her from her sleep, "Good morning." She said softly, yawning and stretching.

"We need to talk," Bo said firmly.

Lauren rubbed her eyes. "We will, but I need to get home."

"Now Lauren," Bo said more harshly than she meant to. She knew Lauren had her secrets, that she valued her privacy. Normally Bo respected that but after everything she decided she needed some kind of explanation.

Lauren turned to her, her face serious. "There are nights I just have to leave my house, sometimes it's the only thing that I can do. " She gave Bo a pleading look, "I'm sorry that I can't give you more than that."

Bo wanted to tell her it didn't bother her that she wouldn't open up more, but that would be a lie, so she said nothing.

XXXX

Lauren stood on her porch not wanting to go in. She looked around, everything from the outside looked so perfect, the yard, car, house, if only that were the truth.

She sighed and walked in trying to be as quiet as possible.

She walked into the kitchen, her brother sitting on a stool eating his breakfast. She was never sure which brother she was going to get these days. It was like he was two different people, whatever caused his changes was unclear to her.

"Good morning, Lo." He beamed as he saw his sister, as if nothing had happened the night before. "Where were you? An all night studying session again?"

Guess he's playing the nice guy, today, she thought.

"Yes." Lauren wanting to avoid an argument about Bo, she decided to omit the part about being with her. "Where's mother." She gave her brother a questioning look.

"Upstairs, I suppose."

"Is she ok? After last night-" Lauren began.

"She's fine, Lauren."

"Are you sure? Because she's getting worse every day, I think she needs to see a doctor."

"I said she's fine. Plus I am a doctor."

"I meant a psychiatrist."

"Not going to happen."

"Why?"

"Do we really need to alert the Fae about our family business and mother's problems? No. She'll be fine."

Lauren knew that was that, no point in pushing the discussion further.

Before leaving for school, she checked on her mother. She was passed out on the bed. She checked her breathing patterns, stared at her for moment sighed and left.

XXXXX

Over the next few days, Bo started to feel better. The butterflies still plagued her when she was around Lauren, but they faded into the background as Bo began to concentrate on her birthday party. It was something she decided she had to just deal with.

Kenzi and Bo had been shopping for dresses all day. Since Bo had agreed to have her ceremony, she was on the hunt for the perfect outfit.

"Ooh, mama likey," Kenzi gushed as she pulled down a pair of leather boots and began trying them on.

Bo slumped and pouted, this shopping trip had been meant to get Bo excited about this party, but it had the opposite effect. Even the fun, light task of shopping was making her aggravated, and she usually loved shopping with Kenzi.

"You look fabulous in everything don't stress out so much," Kenzi said looking at herself in the mirror. "Shoe porn for sure."

"I just want to find something soon."

"You will." She walked over to the dresses and picked a black strapless. "Here. I found you the perfect dress."

Bo looked at the dress. She wasn't exactly ecstatic about this ceremony, but she would look hot in this dress. "That's a pretty sexy dress."

"I know what my sister likes. Come on hurry up and pay, so you can buy me lunch."

They sat, in the café. Kenzi was eating a giant plate of fries. "So, I haven't seen Hotpants around in a few days." She eyed Bo.

Bo shrugged taking a drink of her milkshake.

"What's going on between you two?"

"Nothing. We're friends."

"Right. I'm not stupid, I see the puppy dog eyes you give her and how your face seems to light up at the mention of her name."

"You know my family would flip out because, hello, Fae…Human, it's forbidden. Plus…" Bo paused not sure if she should tell Kenzi about kissing Lauren, "I don't think she sees me that way."

"Since when do you care about Fae rules, miss 'I'll never choose a side and you can't make me.' And there's nothing wrong with humans, I might add." she gestured her hands up and down her body.

Bo laughed. "It's more complicated than that."

"Because of Dyson?"

"Dyson? No."

"Then what? I just know what I see, so what's the real problem?"

Bo was silent for a second consumed by her thoughts. "She keeps things from me about her family. She doesn't talk about her situation with the Fae, ever," she paused searching for the right words. "It's this huge part of her life and she never talks about it."

"She's not one to over share about herself, that's for sure, nerdy, boring things, on the other hand, she won't shut up about."

"It's like we know each other better than anyone else but at the same time we don't know each other at all." She took another drink. "She doesn't trust me enough to share things with me. And I'll be a fully powered succubus soon which only complicates things more."

Kenzi grabbed Bo's plate and began eating her food. "Maybe she's afraid that if you see the dark, scary parts, it'll change how you see her. She'll no longer be perfect in your eyes," she paused giving Bo a look, "Aren't you really just afraid of that also? I mean you don't exactly follow the rules of Faedom. If you wanted to you could find a way to be with her, despite the rules."

Bo just stared at her, taking in what she said. Was it just fear that stopped Bo from telling Lauren about her feelings?

After a moment, Kenzi spoke again, "What do you mean being a succubus complicates things?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if I'll change when my powers come in, when I have to feed."

Kenzi was shocked this was the first time Bo had expressed fears about being a succubus.

"That would never happen."

"Don't be so sure." Bo paused, not meeting Kenzi's eyes, "Do you think a succubus is capable of love?"

Kenzi shot Bo a frustrated look and was about to say something when Bo continued. "Well, just look at Aife I don't think she's ever loved anyone but herself."

Kenzi grabbed Bo's hand, "Bo I don't know about other succubi but I know you, and I know you can and do love."

Bo sat quietly for a moment, playing with her straw. "I hope you're right."

XXXX

Lauren got home from the library, to find her mother in a real state.

"Hello, mother," Lauren said, wanting to feel out her state of mind.

Her mother laughed manically. "Well, hello, genius. How are you?" Her mother almost shouting, her eyes glossed over.

Something was wrong.

Lauren saw old family pictures messily spread across the kitchen table.

Great. She thought. Should have just slipped upstairs without saying anything.

Without saying another word, Lauren turned to leave.

"Don't you walk away from me!" Now she was yelling. "Do you think that you're better than me!?"

She followed her and continued yelling. "Oh, Miss Lauren Lewis, the genius can't talk to her lowly mother. Ha! You're not better than me!" She took a long drink from her glass and started laughing loudly. "You're just like your father. Useless."

Lauren slammed the door and locked it. She put her headphones on to drowned out the continued insults being screamed through the door.

XXXX

Aife was going over the ceremony plans with Bo. She was trying to listen, but she was so bored. They had gone over all these details hundreds of times.

Aife noticed Bo's disinterest, "So, I saw that Lauren Lewis is on the guest list" she arched an eyebrow, "Do you think that's a good idea?"

Bo snapped her head up and looked at her mother, "She's my friend. I want her to be there," she said firmly.

Aife continued her intense gaze, "I've told you before try not to become so attached to this girl. It's not appropriate for humans to be present during such an important ceremony. There are rules."

Bo sprang to her feet.

"You can't trust humans, Bo, learn to blend in with them, but always remember you are not one of them. We feed on them, nothing more."

"Yes, because the Fae are so much better than humans."

"We are. But beyond that, you have an important place in the Fae world, you can't become distracted over one little human."

"Kenzi's human."

"She's different, she's more easily controlled but Ms. Lewis and her brother are a different story."

"You know nothing about Lauren or our friendship," Bo turned to leave, "Lauren will be there or I won't be there."

"Do you love this girl?" Aife's eyes narrowed as she stared at Bo's back.

"What?" Bo froze.

"You know the rules. You cannot be with a human. You're a succubus, Bo, built to roam not be tied down to one person, especially a weak human."

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

"She will only end up disappointing you, that I guarantee. She's property of the Light Fae, she would never be able to love you. And you will never be able to commit to one person."

Bo felt a rage, unlike anything she'd felt before. She wanted to slap her mother for speaking about Lauren this way, for assuming things about her. "You don't and can't know that." She shouted back.

Bo left the kitchen not looking back at her mother.

Bo wandered restlessly around her room for a while, trying to shake off what her mother had said, brushing away the tears that were streaming down her face. She walked over to her mirror that was covered with pictures of all her friends, her eyes focused on Lauren. Why had she started having these feelings for her? Everything would be so much easier if she didn't.

Bo flopped onto her bed buried her head into her pillow, this one smelled like Lauren. Bo inhaled the scent and closed her eyes. Bo couldn't help but be irritated at her body's reaction to just smelling Lauren. She drifted off to sleep her face buried in Lauren's intoxicating scent.

XXXX

Bo and Lauren sat silently in the car on the way to school. Things were awkward between them these last few weeks. Neither knew what to say or do to break the tension. Bo was nervous about her growing feelings for the blonde, the kiss they shared but never discussed, and Aife's words, becoming a succubus. Really how much was she supposed to take?

Lauren stared out the window, and Bo glanced at her every couple of minutes. She wanted to say so much but couldn't find the words.

After a time, Lauren broke the silence. "So your birthday's coming up." She turned to Bo. "What should I get you?"

"An escape from my family would be nice," She teased, she was happy for a chance at light banter, avoiding the difficult touchy subjects seemed to be something they were getting increasingly good at.

"Wish I could help you with that."

"Nadia's mad at me again," Lauren added casually.

Bo's heart pounded hard and quickly in her chest. Nadia, ugh, she thought, her heart sank.

"Again?" Bo asked. Nadia seemed to get mad at Lauren every other day. It seemed like it was a manipulation to get her to act a certain way, but Bo never said anything, she was afraid it was her jealousy talking.

Were they a couple, Bo desperately wanted to ask, but she also was afraid of the answer.

"She says I'm difficult, cold, distant," Lauren chuckled and paused. "I think maybe she's right."

"Oh yea…well she's right about that…" Bo teased shaking her head.

"How's the party planning going." Lauren said changing the subject.

"Great. It's this weekend then I never have to hear about my grand party, again."

XXXX

Bo didn't know if she'd ever start feeling better about everything.

She sat in the Dal waiting for her grandfather and one of their lessons.

She sat back watching the other Fae. Drinking, laughing like they didn't have a care in the world.

Must be nice.

"Ysabeau, come."

She sat down across her grandfather.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Was Aife different before she got her powers?"

"How do you mean?"

"Did coming a full succubus change her?"

He thought and paused as if considering. "I suppose in some ways. Succubi are very powerful Fae it's bound to have its effects."

Just as she had feared.

"What's this about?"

Bo wasn't sure she wanted to open up to her grandfather, but there was no one else to ask.

"Can succubi love?"

He looked shocked. "Of course! Your grandmother Isabeau loved a great deal."

Bo never knew her grandmother she had died before she was born.

"Really?"

"Bo every Fae is different just like every human is different. There is no reason a fully powered succubus can't love and love deeply. You have a good heart, and I know that you will have many great loves in your life."

Things between Trick and Bo changed after that day, in a way. She began to see him in a new light, a new understanding seemed to settle among them.

But tension was still there, Bo would never agree to become everything he wanted her to be and that would always be a problem between them.

XXXX

Lauren was sitting at her microscope looking over some new samples she had when she heard a tapping at her door.

"Who is it?" Lauren called from inside her room.

"It's Bo!" Bo answered through the door.

Lauren smiled and opened the door.

The sight of Lauren made Bo's pulse burst. She was wearing her white lab coat that she wore when doing 'her science'. Bo found it odd that she found the blonde so attractive when she was wearing it.

"What are you doing here?" Lauren asked, grinning wide, pulling off the lab coat and hanging on the wall.

Bo shrugged, stepping inside Lauren's room without waiting for an invitation.

Bo made herself at home, sitting on Lauren's bed. "You don't mind, do you?"

Lauren didn't answer she just sat down next to Bo on the bed. Bo turned on the TV and began looking through channels for something to watch. She surfed until she found a movie they both agreed on. Moulin Rouge.

It was cold, so Bo shoved herself under the blankets on Lauren's bed, after a moment Lauren joined her, letting the shared body heat warm them.

Bo sighed. It was so effortless between them, so comfortable. But at the same time with all secrets so complicated as well.

They watched the movie Lauren pointing out the historical inaccuracies of the film. Bo just laughed at how appalled she sounded. Bo tried to forget about how close Lauren was sitting…her warmth…how good she smelled. Whenever Lauren's arm would brush against Bo's, she felt a tingling sensation throughout her body. It felt good, right.

After the credits were rolling they were talking about the movie.

"That was super cheesy." Bo said, rubbing her eyes.

"You don't think it was romantic?"

"It was so over-to-top."

"Sure. But it's a musical. They tend to be that way."

Bo scoffed.

"I think there's something really special about the love they shared, you know. Even tough they had only a brief time together. Her imprint would last forever on him. It's nice to think that even a short love, can be a great love."

Bo looked down, playing with her fingers.

"But maybe you're right. It is kind of cheesy. But Nicole Kidman did look pretty hot in it."

Bo laughed.

They sat quietly together, for a long moment, a little too long, so many unspoken things filling the distance between them.

Bo tried to avoid the discussion of Lauren and Nadia, but she eventually had to ask, "So are you and Nadia going to prom together? Or is she still mad at you?" Bo was almost afraid to ask, but the question just came tumbling out of her mouth.

Bo didn't want to care about the answer. She was sort of, kind of dating Dyson anyways. She tried to concentrate on keeping an indifferent expression on her face.

Lauren shrugged, "I don't know, she's great but…"

Bo was shocked at the response, she was sure they were together, "So what's the problem?" she couldn't seem to stop continuing the conversation.

"What's going on with you and Dyson?" Lauren asked, ignoring Bo's question.

Bo was happy to move the conversation away from Nadia but talking about Dyson was not what Bo wanted. Bo was also stunned that Lauren asked about him, she never seemed to care or notice when Bo was dating someone. She was a little afraid that her mouth actually might be hanging open.

Bo shrugged, "My family sure does like him," was all Bo could think to say.

"Right." Lauren smirked. "Well we both know how important that is," she said rolling her eyes.

They heard Lauren's brother calling her name from downstairs; he had just got home from work.

"Speaking of which," Lauren said and they untangled themselves from underneath the blankets and stood.

"I better go," Bo said, she knew Lauren's brother didn't like her hanging around too much.

As Bo drove home, she tried to ignore the feelings of frustration she had about being around Lauren. And Lauren still didn't give her an answer about Nadia. They still haven't talked about the kiss.

Bo made a decision on the drive home, she would tell Lauren at her ceremony about her feelings. She couldn't wait any longer. It had to be now, no matter the fallout.

A/N

Thanks for all the follows/favs and reviews. It's very much appreciated. I already have the first few chapters mostly written, and the whole story outlined so I will be updating regularly.