Chapter 12
Obviously I'm not Stephenie Meyer. All things in the Twilight Universe still belong to her and I'm stuck here, smacking my head, wondering, "Why didn't I think of that?" Ha, ha, but in all seriousness no infringement is intended on my part.
Hey everyone. It feels like more than a day has gone by since I've last updated, but it's really cold where I live, so I'm guessing my days are going to start running together now. I'm going to be spending the remainder of this year trapped inside. The worst part is there's not a bronzed hair, sparkly vampire to keep me company. Damn it! Well anyway, Happy Reading.
Before May 29, 2010
I can't believe you people. We had those leeches outnumbered. Why the hell do you cow to them like that? Better yet, why the hell am I here? You can't seriously expect me to procreate with pretty leech boy here.
The Volturi had just left, and I was seriously grossed out because Aro insisted on holding my hand. Edward had to hold me still so I didn't lash out at that creeper.
"Isabella, you have to understand. There's no winning against the Volturi. Many of our kind have tried and met their demise," the leech doctor said calmly.
"We can't take the risk, especially with the little ones of your tribe. The Volturi would have no qualms about kidnapping all your wolf females and killing every last member of your tribe that was left. You would be forced along with your wolf sisters to bare their hybrid children. At least with me you will get the dignity and respect that you deserve. I will protect and take care of you."
"What makes you think they would try to kidnap us? They didn't say that. They said they'd kill everyone in my tribe and all of you."
"Isabella," Edward's voice was soft, patient. "Sometimes humans have special abilities, but usually they're not very powerful. Their abilities often go unrecognized. However, when one of these humans is changed into a vampire those abilities are intensified. Aro is one of these vampires that is gifted in this way. I could tell it made you uncomfortable that he insists on touching the hands of those he speaks with."
"No, Edward. He just creeps me the fuck out! If that's his special gift I have to tell you it's a powerful one." Emmett snickered, despite the fact he hates me. Edward glared at him.
"No. Aro and I share a similar talent. We both read minds."
"So you read Aro's mind? You know for a fact he would have kidnapped me and the other girls in my pack?"
"Yes."
"I still don't understand why Aro's so handsy. On second thought, maybe I don't want to know."
"It's nothing like what you must be thinking."
Emmett snickers again. I raise my bitch brow at him to which he only grins.
"Suffice to say, Aro does enjoy that aspect of his gift on certain occasions, but for the most part he views it as a limitation."
"Suffice to say, Aro liked holding your hand, little Izzy." Emmett made a weird smoochie face as he said this. He then proceeded to pet the top of my head.
I smacked his hand away.
Edward growled. Emmett winked at me.
"Izzy? Really?" I was so close to pounding him.
Emmett laughed. "Well if we're going to have a pet around here we really should name her."
I rolled my eyes. "Don't ever call me that. In fact I hate being called Isabella too. If you people must speak to me, call me Bella."
"Bella, hmm." Emmett pretended to maul the name choice over in his mind. "I suppose that pet name will do, but I like Roxy better."
"Oh, for the love of…" Edward cut himself off, apparently not wanting to offend anyone. "Isa…" I glared at him. "Sorry, Bella. I'm trying to explain the differences between Aro's and my own talent. Aro has to make skin to skin contact in order to read anyone's mind. I do not."
"So your talent is more powerful."
"Not exactly. Aro, when he touches someone is able to read every thought, every experience that individual has ever had. I can only read what's currently on the mind of said individual or I should say everyone within a mile radius."
"Wow. Can you turn it off?" I couldn't imagine being out in a crowded public place otherwise.
"No. The best I can do is try to tune everyone out."
"That's horrible." I truly felt bad for him.
Edward smiled softly.
"So, you can read my mind then?" That thought was equally horrible.
"No, actually you seem to be the exception to the rule. For some reason I'm not able to access your mind."
"Why?"
"I don't know why, but I've never come across any other individual like you."
"And Aro?"
"Aro was extremely frustrated. You are an enigma to him as well."
I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. Not even my pack could access my thoughts. I could hear all their thoughts when we were in our wolf forms, but they could never hear mine.
I tried, to no avail, not to smile at this info, but with Edward standing there smiling his gorgeous smile I couldn't help myself. He is a pretty leech boy after all . If he weren't a vampire I might have actually enjoyed this impossible situation I found myself in. I briefly stared at his lips, trying to imagine what it must feel like to have them pressed against mine, to have his strong cold arms embracing me. Visions of us in a state of intimacy, skin to skin, assaulted my mind. I could feel my face heating up. Edward's grin widened. It was almost as if we were having a moment of clarity. If Edward's as decent as a person as he seems to be, could I actually be okay with all this? He's definitely easy to look at.
"Seriously Eddie." I could hear the impatience in Emmett's tone. He sounded like a sulking two year old. "I can't believe you agreed to this. All you have to do is knock her up and be done with it. Why would you want to marry this little bitch. Ha! It's a pun. She's a female dog," Emmett guffawed, Rosalie chuckled beside him.
"Emmett, you jackass. She's a sweet innocent teenage girl. I'll not take her virtue from her without giving her an eternal commitment. Rosalie, you of all people should understand that I'm doing the right thing."
I was in shock at what Emmett said. Emmett's words stung. Edward and I were having… I don't know what we were having, but Emmett squashed it. For a microsecond I thought that maybe Edward and I would be okay, but now I felt like a cheap plaything.
"Right thing, my ass. Put all the niceties you want with it. Being forced to have sex with you is still rape. Dignity and respect, yeah… that's rich," I muttered to myself, but of course all of them heard me anyways.
Edward looked at me as if his puppy had been ran over by a Mac truck. "I'm truly sorry, Bella. If there was another way…" His brows furrowed. "I don't want to hurt you that way."
"See, even the little bitch agrees. You may as well fuck her right now. It's all the same," Emmett snarled.
Edward sprang forward looking as if he had every intention of tearing Emmett's head of. Jasper in Carlisle dove in between them to stop Edward from doing just that.
"Rosalie, get your husband away from me before I make you a widow!"
"I can't believe you, Edward. How dare you side with this smelly dog girl over your own brother," Rosalie growled.
"Rosalie, Edward is right. If you two can't behave with some decency, then I suggest you both leave the room," Esme chided.
"This is a family meeting, if you don't have anything positive to contribute then you're not invited," Carlisle admonished.
"I know. Let's take a vote," I said with my most sarcastic tone of voice. I was truly sick of this whole conversation. "All those in favor that Edward just fuck me now and get it over with thumbs up all those in favor of him marrying me first thumbs down." I know how I'm going to vote. I sure as hell don't want to live the rest of my life with this bunch of misfit leeches.
Emmett and Rosalie both stuck their thumbs up while the rest of the family looked at me, appalled.
I stuck my thumbs up. "Come on people, lets just get this over with. You don't want me in your family." I was so pissed I didn't even stop to realize that I was shaking in terror at the very thing I was trying to convince them of. "Just take me to the woods and rape me, Edward. I'll pop out your kid, then I can get back to my life and try to forget this whole thing ever happened."
"This isn't working. Meetings over," Edward announced. He grabbed my elbow forcing me to follow him.
Oh no, dang! He's taking me to the woods. Okay, Bella. Just get a grip. This was your idea. I won't be so bad. It'll be quick. The Volturi said the babies grow fast so in a little over a month maybe two, I'll be free.
We had walked several yards past the tree line when Edward stopped abruptly, turning to face me. "You want me to rape you! Seriously, Bella? I offer you a life of respect and decency, my unwavering devotion. Hell, I'll give an eternity of servitude to you if that's what it takes. It's the very least I can do for your sacrifice. Please, just never ask me to do something so appalling as rape you ever again."
"So it's a lifetime with you or nothing? How is that fair? What makes you think I can stand to be around you that long?" "Bella, Sweet Girl, you're shaking like a leaf. If I were to even touch you right now you'd run away screaming. I'm not that man, Bella. I can't force myself on you."
"What about after we're married?"
"Not even then, Sweet Girl. Not even to save myself or my own family. I'll never force you. I'm not capable of doing that to you. This has to be your choice, Bella. Everyone's life is in your hands."
No pressure or anything.
"Why do we have to get married?"
"Relations outside of marriage is wrong. I'll take no part in it."
"Edward, that's just stupid."
"It's not stupid to want to be married to the woman I take as my lover and mother of my child. What kind of man would I be if I just impregnated you with no intentions of marrying you? What kind of man does that?"
"A modern man."
"Well, you'll find I'm a very old-fashioned man. I'm the kind of man who takes care of his family, the kind of man that believes in honesty and respect. I've seen plenty of the minds of so called "modern" men. They don't respect their women and they have very little to do with their own children. I'm a monster, Sweet Girl. The worst kind. I didn't choose to be this thing that I've become. I strive, every single day to be a decent person, to try and retain some of what has been taken of my humanity. I can't be human for you, Bella, but I can be good to you. Please don't hate me for wanting to do the right thing."
I just stared at him for a moment. This was the worst damn day of my life and all I wanted to do was scream and cry and throw accusations at him. I wanted to hate him, but I couldn't. Before me stood not just a vampire, but a man with convictions. He looked to be in his late teens. He was handsome with bronze hair and ember eyes. He was tall and lean and muscular. Most girls would give their eye teeth to have a gorgeous guy like Edward offer up a lifetime of servitude to them. I could see that Edward was only trying to do what he thought he had to do to keep everyone safe. Emmett was right about one thing though. I am a bitch.
"Edward. I don't hate you. I don't particularly like you, but I don't hate you. If my only choice is marrying you, then fine. Just do me a huge favor and you and your family leave me the hell alone until the wedding."
With that I turned and ran back to the house to hide in my room. I would just wait it out until September. Edward had thousands of books to keep me busy in the meantime.
After September 18, 2010, 8:34pm
"What do you think, Bella? I bit my own arm. It could have been you."
"Oh," I'm grabbing his arm, frustrated with myself, annoyed that I just can't control myself when we're being intimate. "I'm sorry." I'm rubbing the crescent shaped wound on his forearm.
"Edward's bursting out laughing." I think he's loosing it.
"Edward?"
"It's okay, love. My arm's okay and I'm not angry," he's saying between chuckles.
"This isn't funny! We have a very serious problem here."
"I can't help it, Sweet Girl. You should see the expression on your face. You're just so damn cute." I'm trying to fight a smile because I rarely hear a swear word come out of his mouth. I must be corrupting him.
"Edward," I'm groaning.
He's pulling me on top of him, his fingers trailing up my back to my neck to my face, caressing my cheeks. He's tucking my hair behind my ears.
"You're just so beautiful, Bella. You just don't have a clue what you do to me. It's hard to remember you're not a vampire like me when we're together in the throes of passion. I want to bite you, and it's not about partaking of your blood. It's an instinctual response vampires have when coupling with their mates."
"Interesting." I'm wondering if my kind has the same instinct. There isn't really anyone that I feel comfortable asking.
"What are you thinking?"
I'm planting my elbows on his chest, resting my face in my hands. "You do the same thing to me. You're so irresistible. Unfortunately I don't have the same self restrain that you seem to have."
"Sweetheart, believe me it's hanging on by a thread."
"What are we going to do about this?"
"At least you didn't bite me this time," he's laughing.
I'm smacking his chest.
His eyes are flashing dark with desire, a soft growl is rumbling deep in his chest.
I'm kissing his nose. "I'm serious, concentrate. We have to figure this out. I don't want you all scarred up."
"I think I'd be okay on my end if you'd ever let me go slow."
"Yes. I realize that, but thanks for making me feel better about it."
"Well I imagine you have a lot of hormones working against you right now. You are a pregnant teenager."
"That doesn't help. I can't do anything to fix that." I'm pouting.
"I think we're doing alright, Sweet Girl. I just need to find a better outlet than my arm or Esme's pillows."
"I know, but it's not all your fault. I need to control myself better too."
"But I like it when you get rough," he purring in my ear.
"You're not helping."
"I like it when you bite and scratch me."
I'm rolling my eyes. He's kissing down my neck making me shiver.
"No!" I'm smacking both my hands on his chest, trying to push myself away from him. But he's not letting me up. He's pulling me closer, kissing my lips.
"I have one word for you, Edward. Abstinence."
"Let's not be hasty here, Bella."
"You have no idea what goes on in my mind while we're having sex. The things I think about doing to you. Some of it is so violent. It scares me and I don't want to hurt you."
"Now you're just turning me on."
"Well that's just great because you're really starting to piss me off! It's not good for a werewolf to get pissed off. People get hurt when that happens."
"Okay, now I think we're getting somewhere."
"What do you mean?"
"Well obviously the majority of your pack eventually mate with a human. Why is it so different for you mating with me? If I were human would you still feel the need to bite me?"
"We're not usually allowed to date until we are mature enough to control our wolf side. It hasn't quite been a year for me yet. It won't be a year 'til med November."
"What do you usually do to calm yourself when you get angry?"
"I phase and go for a long run."
"And how often did you phase before you came to live with me?"
"Everyday."
"There in lies your answer. You and I are more alike than what I thought."
"How so?"
"New born vampires have to hunt everyday to maintain control of their bloodlust."
"So maybe I need to phase everyday to control my aggressiveness."
"Exactly."
"Hmmm. Maybe I should go for a run then."
"Would it be alright if I come with you? You had a rough day and I'd just like to keep my eye on you."
"Sure, maybe we could go for a little swim too."
"Yep. Frolicking on the beach, naked in the moonlight," He's waggling his eyebrows. "What could be better?"
"Um, yeah. Maybe after I phase back." Silly vampire.
At some point I'm going to write a companion story to this one totally from Edwards prospective. I'd like to do it in a way that hits a little of what was going on in Edward's mind during the progression of his relationship to Bella without making it a boring repeat. I'd like to try and expand the story adding in parts of the story that you wouldn't be able to get from just Bella's point of view. And I was thinking maybe this time I'd write the story in order of how things happen so it will be easier to reference back from one story to the other if anyone cares to. Well anyway, let me know what you think and thanks for reading.