Chapter 2: The Great Chase

Jiraiya slapped his hands over the alien's mouth, effectively stopping the horrific sound that had just come from it. Her breathing remained erratic, she made no attempt to remove his hands. Snapping his head towards the door Jiraiya listened closely to make sure no one came running (most likely suspecting something from him, especially in this position).

He waited patiently for her breathing to slow and her eyes to focus on his.

"Now, little lady if I take my hand off your mouth will you be quiet for me?" he lightly asked, giving her a small smile. Only to have a confused glance as a response. Taking that as some sort of initiative to remove his hand.

"So…lets start off easy, shall we?" he stated in a friendly manner as to not scare off the little alien, "who are you and where are you from?"

A beat of silence, then some more silence. Jiraiya opened his mouth to reiterate the question, when she spoke.

"What the hell are you saying?!" came the high-pitched, hysteric voice of the alien.

With his mouth still open Jiraiya was suddenly frozen. Why hadn't he thought of this scenario? Why would he think an alien have the ability to speak his language? Raking his head for a solution he was pulled out of his brooding by the quiet murmurs the alien was whispering out. Of course he didn't understand a single thing she was saying, but she looked distressed all the same. That's when the ides hit him.

A seal.

He knew language seals! It's one of the last seals he learned while in training. Often used to help summons learn to speak their master's language. Now where did he put that scroll...?oh! That's right! It was in his storage scroll in the lobby. His eyes slid over to see the still mumbling alien. He had to get that seal. Damn!

Snapping his fingers in front of her face he effectively got her attention.

Pools of copper met slates of gray as Jiraiya tried to covey his firmness through his eyes.

"You stay, I go, be right back," he stated in the most simplest terms he could, even gesturing with his hands. The alien paused a moment and gave a hesitant nod. Yes! She understood.

Backing out of the room he quickly shunshined to the lobby retrieved his bags and scroll and shunshined back to the hallway. Straightening himself he walked into the room smile and all.

"Now we can fix that pro-," stopping in his tracks his hands went limp, allowing all his things to crash to the ground, because the previously occupied room was now vacant, all that was left was a trail of sheets, right out the window.

Waking up in a blank, sterile white hospital room was the least of my problem, oh no, I had bigger fish to fry, and said fish came in the form of a perverted old man that was meant to be a fictional character.

Jiraiya, one of the Legendary Sannin, teacher of the Fourth Hokage, was right in front of me.

Well fuck me sideways and dip me in butter, I must have fucking died and went straight to hell. Things like this don't happen to people like me, no they happen to fangirls that want to have the Akatsuki babies, or people who have some sort of moral compass, and I certainly did not fit that bill.

So I did the most appropriate thing in this sort of situation.

I screamed my head off

It was short lived though. Jiraiya made hast in shutting me up by slapping his big callused hands over my mouth. In a normal circumstance I would have bitten him by now, but I was honestly having a panic attack.

This all had to be a dream. A sick dream. Any minute my annoying ass alarm would wake me up and I would be subjected to the ranting and nagging of my oh so loving mother, then I would start my boring ass day.

That is, until he started talking.

"Now, little lady if I take my hand off your mouth will you be quiet for me?" he asked? I literally have no idea, my Japanese was limited to the dirty things I learned in my anime bingeing fests. Seeming to ignore my confused look he took his giant hands off my face.

"So…lets start off easy, shall we?" he started off, me still not knowing what the hell he was saying, "who are you and where are you from?"

Again, literally no idea, and I planned on expressing my frustration

"What the hell are you saying?!" I spit out as my hysteria started making its way back to me.

It was his turn to freak out. He went pale and let his hands fall to either side of his head. His eyes wildly looking from me to anything else in the room. Guess he didn't expect some random girl he found from God knows where to not know his language (please note the absolute sarcasm). As he was having his mini panic attack I started thinking.

What in the name of all hell could have started that fucking fire? I turned all the electric and gas machines off and blew out all the candles so what coul-

Oh, oh fuck no!

The fucking furnace?! Of course, of freaking course!

Mom was told like five years ago to replace the shit, the repair man saying it was unstable, but no! The cheap woman had to go and ignore it. That's literally the only thing that could have done me in, or someone out there has been planning my death, but that's super unlikely due to the fact I had like no friends and no life!

I was going to continue my little mental melt down when Jiraiya tapped his fist against his open palm, a look of absolute clarity came across his face.

Meeting my eyes head on I was met with a pleasant shade of slate gray. His eyes sharpening and his lips taking on a straight and firm line.

"You stay, I go, be right back," he spoke slow and deliberately, even gesturing to me with his hands. I think I got the message. He wanted to leave and have me stay, or something along that line.

An idea popped into my head

Giving an affirmative nod, he smiled and quickly made his way out the room and I heard a swish and pop. He must have used that body flicker thing that Kakashi always used. I only had a few moments if that.

Jumping out of the bed I ripped the sheets off, making quick work of the knots. Lucky for my there were hooks outside of the windows. Hooking the sheets on I made my way out the window.

I was on what looked to be the third floor. Not that far up. Good thing I was at least somewhat physically fit, because if I wasn't my arms would have given out the moment I left the window. Hearing a swoosh again I knew I was out of time.

I was at the second floor, glancing down I saw that I was right above some bushes, so I made a split second decision.

I let go

Hitting the ground I tucked in and rolled off the bushes. Not giving a second glance at the hospital I sprinted in whatever direction I got up in, which happened to be the direction of some village.

I wasn't going to let this freaking fictional character drag me into some mess I couldn't handle. I wasn't a fate changing type of girl, I was a second hand character who watched everything unfold. Plus I was still light way convinced this was either a dream or some form of hell.

Ignoring the slight sting of my bare feet scrapping against the dirt ground I headed for a large group of people. Of course I got some weird looks, a strange looking girl with only a tank top and shorts running for her life with no shoes would definitely turn my head.

That's how I knew I couldn't linger here long, all Jiraiya had to do was ask if some weird girl came running through, shit for all I know he was already ahead of me.

Shit!

So I did the most logical thing. I headed straight for the surrounding forest. Leaping over some low hanging shrub branches I launched myself into the semi lit forest. That's when I heard light thumps somewhere above me. I didn't even have to look to know it was Jiraiya following me.

Sure enough right when I was about to sprint in a different direction he dropped from the canopy right in front of me.

Now Jiraiya was a tall man to begin with, but with those damn sandals he was huge, making my 5'4 look like a midget. I was in mid whirl when he grabbed the back of my tank top. Lifting me up like I was some kid.

I started screaming and swinging my arms around, anything to get him to let me go. That's when he slipped something into my mouth.

It felt like paper, until it dissolved and a light burn started to spread across my tongue.

Oh God! He was killing me! I was going to die again!

Well if I was dying I was going out with a bang.

Twisting around I grabbed two thick locks of his unruly white hair shouting at the top of my lungs as I continuously yanked and twisted.

"You son of a bitch perverted sage! Fuck you and your main character plot shit, fuck your nine tail god son, fuck the Uchiha! Fuck that scarecrow and pinky! Fuck all of you! Fuck this universe! Fuc-"

"Are you done yet brat?"

Wha?

At that I paused, lifting my head up to look into his familiar slate eyes, this time filled with mirth and suspicion. Did I just hear him correctly?

"D-did you just speak my language?" I whispered as my slack hands lost a grip on his hair. It slid nicely back into place.

"No your speaking my language little alien," he said with a wicked smirk, "quite a foul mouth for a young lady."

Alien? What the hell?

"Now what was all that you were just shouting about? Hm?"

Oh fuck me with butter and call me Paula Dean

Quickly catching onto what the little alien was up to Jiraiya followed behind. He had to admit she was good, for someone without chakra. Rolling from a fall that high and jumping right into a sprint. She ran too, right into a crowded area. At first he lost her, but he just followed the looks of confusion until he caught a glimpse of tan and auburn taking off towards the woods.

Very smart

Pumping chakra into his feet he propelled himself from a nearby roof into the top branch of a tree. From there he followed her, observing her moves. All though she was running quite erratically and rashly, she made sure to keep herself in the areas with the darkest shadows, which is a very good move, especially for someone with no chakra signature.

In fact the energy that she radiates fits in seamlessly with the surrounding nature chakra. Interesting. But enough was enough. So he let himself be heard before he dropped right in front of her. He reflects were quick, she was about to take off in a different direction when he caught her by the back of her shirt.

Letting out that horrid scream she whirled around like some wild animal, exposing more of her midriff (hehehe~).

This gave him the perfect opportunity to slip the seal into her mouth.

When he did she paused in shock for a second before she resumed, but this time with more vigor. Grabbing his luxurious locks and everything.

"You son of a bitch perverted sage! Fuck you and your main character plot shit, fuck your nine tail god son, fuck the Uchiha! Fuck that scarecrow and pinky! Fuck all of you! Fuck this universe! Fuc-"

Now the little alien became even more interesting.

"Are you done yet brat?"

She stopped completely and utterly in shock. Pools of wide copper meeting his eyes.

"D-did you just speak my language?" she whispered, her high pitched voice becoming a childish whisper.

"No your speaking my language little alien," I said giving her a shit eating grin, "quite a foul mouth for a young lady."

Confusion took over her features. She looked quite cute, like a bunny in the face of its predator, but enough games. What she said before needed to be addressed.

"Now what was all that you were just shouting about? Hm?"

She went stock still and paled even further, before slapping herself on the forehead.

Hahaha! This was a very interesting alien indeed.

A/N there you go ladies and gentlemen two chapters in like two day, please praise me! Lol. Hoped this answered some questions and raised a few more! Next chapter begins the journey of our little alien!

Please leave reviews and critiques!

Cya soon!