Sam was watching his brother sleep when Bobby walked in and sat down. He nodded in Dean's direction. "How's he doing?"

Sam sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Not good, Bobby. You saw how he was. I've never seen him like this. Not even when Dad died." A sudden thought occurred to him. "What about you, Bobby? Was he like this when I died?"

Bobby shook his head. "He was messed up but at least he was angry. I've never seen him so defeated. It's like he's just given up, nothing left in him to give."

Dean had fallen asleep immediately after they arrived at Bobby's house. Sam had been sitting with him for the last six hours. Dean was still taking some pretty strong pain killers and would probably sleep the rest of the night but his sleep had been anything but peaceful.

"I don't know what to do, Bobby." Sam hated saying that. No matter what situation they had come up against, he had always been able to figure out something but this was one monster he didn't know how to fight.

"I wish I knew what to tell you, Sam." Bobby sounded as clueless as Sam felt. "Getting Dean to talk about what happened is the only way he will ever start working this out and I know how impossible that's going to be."

Sam dropped his head into his hands. He wished for the thousandth time that he had gotten to Dean before he had started torturing Alastair. If he had, maybe everything would have been alright. Or at least as alright as it got to be in their crazy world. Sam heard Bobby rise from his chair but he didn't look up. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Just don't give up on him." Bobby squeezed his shoulder and Sam listened as his footsteps retreated down the hallway.

"I'll never give up," whispered Sam.

Sam jerked awake and realized he had fallen asleep in the chair next to Dean's bed. He squinted at the watch on his wrist and could just make out the time: 3:00 a.m. He hadn't been asleep all that long.

Sam sighed and rubbed his hand across his face. He couldn't do this every night. No matter how much he wanted to help his brother he had to get some sleep. He had to remain strong because a war was coming whether Dean was going to be able to fight or not.

Sam glanced at his phone lying on the floor next to his chair and wondered if he should give Ruby a call. She might have a new lead on Lilith. He picked up the phone and then looked at his brother's haggard face. He couldn't do it. Not yet. Whether Ruby knew anything or not, he couldn't leave Dean right now. Dean had been there for him his whole life and Sam couldn't turn his back on his brother even if it meant another seal got broken somewhere.

Dean had been trying to protect him ever since Sam could remember but for the past few months Sam had been trying to do the same for Dean. Sam had been afraid that something was going to happen to Dean while he was off his game and he wanted to keep that from happening but he had failed. Dean always had his back but he had let his big brother down.

"'m sorry, Dad." Sam jumped at the sound of his brother's voice. Dean was talking in his sleep.

Sam moved closer to the bed to see if Dean would say anything else. He felt a twinge of guilt for spying on his brother in this vulnerable state but he knew this might be the only way he could find out what had happened with Alastair. Dean would sooner shoot himself in the leg than talk about his feelings.

But Dean never said anything different. He kept mumbling something about being sorry over and over and Sam finally shook his arm. "Dean, it's just a dream."

Dean opened his eyes immediately and they locked with Sam's. Sam took the chance. "Are you going to tell me?"

Dean turned and faced the wall and Sam knew that he had his answer.