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I promise you , it will get better haha & i own nothiiiing :(

xx

9. Dreaming.

When I woke up I was confused. My thoughts were hazy, still twisted up in dreams and nightmares; it took me longer than it should have to realise where I was. The room was bland to belong to anywhere but a hotel. The curtains were made out of the same fabric as the bedsheet. The lamps bolted to the table. I tried to remember how I got here but nothing came to my mind. I looked at the clock on the on the table, it read 3:00 but it gave no indication if it was AM or PM. I peered over to the couch and there he lay. So perfectly and flawless. I curled up in a ball in the double bed and tossed and turned. My thoughts kept drifting off to my family and friends. My fathers voice when he first answered the phone. I got up and locked myself in the toilet. I looked in the mirror, unable to recognise the girl staring back at me in the mirror. A silent tear ran down her cheek. I sank to the bathroom floor, leaning against the bathtub. Pulling my knees tightly to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I sat there for some time, not even noticing the tears that fell from my eyes onto my knees. I stood up and went back through to the bedroom. Nick still slept there, curled up in an awkward position on the couch. I knelt beside him, watching him sleep. Trying to match my unsteady breathing to his. I leant my head on the tiny space on the couch, beside his. I ran a finger down his flawless cheek, right down to his lips where they lingered for a while before I removed it to take his hand. I must of fell asleep there as when I woke the sun was creeping it's way into the room. I stood up, letting go off his hand and went back to the bathroom taking my toiletry bag with me. I began trying to make myself look at least a little bit presentable but I didn't work. I couldn't concentrate on anything but the mistake I made yesterday. When I made my way back through to the room Nick was lying on the bed flicking through the channels on the TV, he turned his head and moved over on the bed. I sat beside him and he held me tight.

"Good sleep angel?" He asked and then placed a kiss on the top of my head.

"Yeah, you?" I replied, burying my head further into his chest. Inhaling his irrestible scent.

"Uh huh. Are you wanting to leave soon? We can eat in the car." I just nodded. Afraid to ask where we were or where we were going. He got up and started putting things back into the bags but I stayed on the bed.

"Nick." He stopped what he was doing and turned to look at me, "Will you tell me what they were talking about?"

"Later baby. We have to go." He handed me my shoes and took my bag downstairs for me. Giving me the car keys, he paid for the room. I sat in the car waiting patiently on him, my stomach grumbling like mad. He jumped in the car and told me where the food was. I grabbed some for myself and for him the flung the bag on the backseat beside the other one. It still hadn't snuck in what we were doing yet, but it was bound to soon. Something inside was nagging at me but I couldn't quite tell what it was. We didn't stop driving until late that night, the clock on the radio read 11 PM and I knew we couldn't drive all night.

"Are we stopping soon?" I asked as a yawn escaped from my mouth.

"Yeah, do you mind if we sleep in the car? I don't think we will have enough money for food and gas if we keep sleeping in hotels."

"Sure. I don't mind." I crossed my legs and lay my head back. Allowing my eyes to droop sleepily. Nick pulled up behind a building and locked all the doors. He told me to lie across the backseat but I refused. Telling him he needed a better sleep than I did. In the end we settled to us both sleeping on the backseat. It felt safe, being held in his arms as he lulled me to sleep but it didn't help. He must of fell asleep quickly because he breathing became more and more steadier. It was then that I let the tears fall down. I finally fell asleep with the tears still streaming calmly down my face.

I wasn't sure when I woke if I'd just begun crying or if my tears had run while I slept and simply continued now. I stared at Nicks perfect face and knew it had to be late into the morning. You could see the sun just about to rise and I closed my eyes. Praying for a dreamless sleep, but it didn't come. The nightmares had gotten worse since I'd left my family. The seemed more real and real every time I shut my eyes. It got to the point where I was afraid to blink but I had to be strong, show they weren't affecting me. It was so childish, but they seemed so real.

The bright sun was beating down onto the sea. Here I was on this tiny boat, with Nick. Then the clouds changed, the wind picked up and the rain started. It got heavier and heavier and the wind got stronger. The boat tipped up. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak. I could hear Nick yelling my name, begging me to save him but I couldn't. Something pulled me down, I struggled to get to the surface. I was going to die. Nick's scream faded until there was complete silence. Then I woke up, sweat trickled down my forehead. My heart racing and my breathing unsteady.