I am avoiding packing for a trip to Tampa this weekend to go see Linkin Park and my sister. This also means I won't get a chance to update later so I figured might as well. (Since 5 chapters of this are already conveniently written)

I forgot to say this during the first chapter but I don't own Harry Potter. If I did I would write these stories in book form and make you all buy them. (Bwaha) aren't you all glad I don't own things?

In other news I have no clue why this chapter is called Lockhart time when he is barely in it…oh well. Enjoy.

Chapter 2: Lockhart Time

"I see a kitten." Linda said analyzing her tea leaves in her tea cup.

"I see an abyss of misery and darkness, oh wait, no. I see a moose." I said.

"Keep trying. See into the beyond." Trelawney instructed.

"But if it is beyond how can I possibly see it?" I whispered to Linda.

"I see it. I see...oh wait that's a fly." Linda said shooing the fly off her cup.

"How did a fly get all the way up here?" I questioned.

"I am guessing it flew." Linda stated.

"I think both of you should keep dream journals." Trelawney said placing some scrolls in front of us.

"Can't we just use a composition book or something?" Linda whined.

"I don't usually remember my dreams, unless they are good. Then they usually are strange."

"What do you mean?"

"I have night terrors meaning I will see horrible visions of death, doom, and destruction at night but in the morning I remember nothing." I said happily.

"Well whenever you remember some dream write it down."

"There you are." Minerva said glaring at Trelawney.

"I thought it would be good to teach them the art of Divination. They seem to be gifted in it."

"Yes! I am gifted." Linda said proudly.

"At least she didn't call us special." I added.

"I see." Minerva said.

"I guess you are here to take us from here?" I questioned starting to feel a little woozy from the incense anyway.

"Yes." Minerva said simply.

"Don't forget the dream journals." Trelawney reminded us as we left her standing in her classroom.

"So what are we going to do in your classroom?" Linda questioned.

"I am going to grade papers, while you two read basic spell books."

"You're no fun." Linda whined.

"At least there won't be a creepy man staring at us." I pointed out referring to the last time I was reading a spell book and Gildory kept staring at me.

"At you, you mean." Linda snickered.

"No this time I actually mean at both of us. Or did you forget that the picture liked you."

"Don't remind me." Linda said shivering at the memory.

While in McGonagall's classroom I read the books she gave me while Linda pretended to read for exactly eleven minutes. Then Linda decided to draw. Drawing amused her for eleven minutes. Then Linda decided to zone off. That lasted the rest of the time.

When her time to watch us was over McGonagall merely stood up and walked towards the door. We followed her out and I pocketed the spell book. How it fit in my pocket I shall never know.

"Hello Mr. Pretty Wand." Linda greeted Snape.

"Get out." Snape said glaring at Linda and pushing me down into a seat.

"Okay, Bye Candice." Linda said with a wave as she went back towards the door where a very amused McGonagall was still standing.

"Don't leave me Linda." I called ignoring the glare that Snape was giving me.

"Every man for himself." Linda called back.

"What about the buddy system?" I questioned.

"It died yesterday." Linda said before she was out the door.

After Linda left I began to search the room for an escape. I immediately realized it would be easier to find an escape if I was not sitting. I leaned forward but was stopped by Snape's drawl.

"No." He said simply not looking up from the papers he was grading.

I waited a while and started to lean forward again.

"No."

I stared at the ceiling for a couple of minutes counting the suspicious black stains on it. Soon I was bored with that. I looked around my chair and noticed a potions book next to it. I picked it up and began to read it out of sheer boredom.

"So if that and that combine it goes boom." I mused.

"Indeed." Snape said from right behind me scaring me because I thought he was still sitting down. Away from me.

"Is it time for dinner yet?" I asked hopefully.

"No." Snape replied simply. I blinked at him and he walked back to his chair which was a good five steps away from mine.

"You don't mind me reading, right?" I questioned hoping that he wouldn't be annoyed because I flip the pages too loud or something.

"No, you may continue." Snape agreed.

"Good." I said opening up the book to read it once more. Both of us sat in complete silence while reading.

"What are we going to do with you?" Minerva mused.

"Give me cookies." Linda offered.

"Binns has a free period at this time." Minerva announced.

"I get to hang out with a ghost." Linda said gleefully.

"Binns, could you watch her?"

"I suppose." He agreed.

"I really like History." Linda decided to try to make him distracted.

"Well in the year blah blah blah..." Binns began his speech.

"Interesting..." Linda said completely not interested.

"The Blah blah blah did the blah." Binns continued.

"Hmmm, oh look a window." Linda announced happily.

"Blah."

"Conveniently on the first floor." Linda noticed. Linda then went out the window. "Now that I am out what am I going to do? I know get a wand!" Linda decided after looking around the grounds.

"Why is everyone's wand wood? Why can't it be sparkles?" Linda asks the wand maker.

"Well you can make sparkles come out of the wand, if you find the right one."

"What are we waiting for! We could be looking at sparkles!" Linda shouted.

"Alright." He agreed getting out a box and handing the wand to Linda. Linda immediately flicked it causing it to make some boxes go on the floor.

"Not that one." Linda remarked.

"No, let's try this." he said handing Linda another wand. Linda flicked it to the side and a wall of fire appeared.

"I like it." Linda remarked.

"Not the one for you."

"Aw."

"Try this one." Linda flicked it and green sparkles flew out of it.

"Mine!" Linda shouted trying to write her name with the sparkles.

Linda arrived back at the school and entered the same window that she exited. She was seen by Draco Malfoy, but honestly who ever listens to him anyway so she really wasn't caught.

"Okay I get it. So that's how it went down." Linda said as Binns completed his speech.

"I am glad that someone appreciates History like I do. I will escort you to dinner." Binns said.

"So how was your last period?" Linda questioned during dinner while grinning at me.

"Very informative. I have gotten a lot of reading done today." I answered. "You?"

"I got a wand." Linda whispered and for once whispered correctly, as in no one but me heard.

"No fair! I want one." I whined in a whisper causing Snape to look at me strange. I waved him off.

"Hello lovely ladies." Lockhart grinned at Linda and me. Then he sat down between us causing us to be pushed closer to whoever was on the other side. For Linda that was McGonagall who glared at Lockhart for disturbing her dinner while scooting over to create room. I got pushed into Snape who glared at Lockhart but didn't move over.

"You." I muttered.

"So this is how you feel." Linda figured out staring at me.

"He keeps hitting on me." I whine to Snape hoping that he would be jealous or something and kill Lockhart for me. This caused Snape to scoot over and take me with him so I wouldn't be right next to Lockhart anymore. Well that helps a bit. If only he would let me scoot away into my own space. Does no one respect my personal space bubble? Don't answer that Linda.

"Have I told you about the time I…"

"Maybe and we don't care." Linda remarked.

"I care more about my fries." I replied reaching for a fry and happily gobbling it down.

"Well you do love your fries. So I guess it is hard for you to care about anything more than fries."

"Hey, I also like pie, cookies, chocolate, brownies, hot chocolate, candy, ice cream, shiny things…" I said listing a bunch of things that I like.

"Okay we get it." Minerva said to shut me up.

"As I was saying I once—

"I once had a lizard fall on my head." I interrupted him.

"I once…

"Well on two different occasions I got locked inside two different bathrooms due to faulty doors and had to use all my smarts to figure out a way out." I boasted.

"Speaking of bathroom…" Linda trailed off.

"Organized bathroom trip?" I suggested.

"Yes."

Preview from next chapter: Diary of a Psychopath Time

Who is writing in this diary?

{You are.}

Duh.

I mean who is writing now?

{Still you.}

What are your names?

{I don't tell strangers my name, it gives them power.}

If you can guess our names then we will give you...what did Rumpelstiltskin do again?

{Take babies.}

So if you guess our names we will give you back your baby.

What baby?

Funny story behind the being locked in two different bathrooms. I got out of one by taking the cotton off of a Q-tip and flattening the plastic part so that I could force the latch up. I felt so talented and smart when it worked. The second time the door was just jammed so I kicked it and it opened. Then my foot hurt and I felt stupid.