So this is the start to year three of my and slightly Linda's HP story.

Warnings for this chapter: unsafe traveling, crazy people, and oddly destructive powers.

Prisoner of Azkaban Time

Or

Bed Surfing Time

Linda and I should never be allowed to speak with fake British accents for several reasons. Reason 1) we are pretty bad at it. Reason 2) strange things happen when we do. Reason 3) Voldemort is creepy. Reason 4) Snape is creepy. Reason 5) we are really bad at it.

Linda and I were once again talking in (bad) fake British accents when we began to wonder what would happen if we started to talk about Harry Potter. We had been avoiding talking about it for fear of appearing in the Harry Potter world.

"I wonder what they are doing there right now."

"I don't." Linda remarked.

"I still want a wand." I whined.

"That can be arranged." A voice said.

"Did you just hear that?" I questioned.

"Yes." Linda admitted.

"Good, not crazy."

"That is arguable." The voice said.

"Don't push it." I said glaring at nothing.

"Have a pleasant trip." The voice said before we reappeared on the night bus.

"Where did you come from?" the driver questioned when we appeared.

"Somewhere that is not here." Linda answered.

"How did you get here?" the driver questioned.

"That we don't know." I answered.

"Hey, it's you!" Harry said realizing where he knew us from.

"Fancy meeting you here." I answered.

"Oh, it's you." Linda remarked.

"This is kind of fun." I said.

"I have an idea." Linda announced.

"What is it?"

"Bed surfing."

"Yes!" I shouted sitting up and trying to stand. Linda and I spent the next couple of minutes bed surfing. "This is fun you should try it." I told Harry after I fell once more but was fine because we were on beds.

"I'll pass." Harry said looking at us like we are crazy.

"You are no fun." I pouted.

"No fun at all." Linda shook her head in disappointment.

"You know what I was just reminded of?"

"No."

"Monkeys."

"Monkeys?" Harry questioned.

"What about them?" Linda questioned.

"No more monkeys jumping on the beds." I explained.

"Are you saying we should stop?"

"Are we jumping?"

"No."

"Then we will be fine."

"Now I want to jump."

"Don't do it."

"But I want to."

"Resist the temptation."

"Too tempting."

"Think about it Linda. Jumping on a moving bed in a moving vehicle, it just screams dangerous."

"True." Linda pouted.

"You're here." The driver guy announced.

"Harry Potter, it's a pleasure to meet you." The minister of magic greeted.

"Nice to meet you?" Harry said unsure.

"Who are the two of you?" the minister asked turning to us confused. Poor man never saw stalkers before.

"Harry's stalkers." Linda replied honestly.

"Figments of your imagination." I said while waving my arms oddly. Yeah, I don't even know why I did that.

"Ignore them." Harry said with a sigh. Good to know he is smart enough to realize that is the best way of dealing with us.

"But who are they?"

"They are from Hogwarts." Harry replied. Good Harry make up a good story.

"I suppose you are rooming here too." The minister questioned.

"Probably." I agreed.

"What brings you out here from Hogwarts?"

"I need a wand." I replied quickly.

"What happened to your old one?" the minister questioned.

"It was a figment of my imagination." I grinned.

"Could I talk to Harry in private for a bit?"

"Sure." I agreed. Linda merely walked out the door.

"Customers." Ollivander announced as we walked in.

"I would like a wand." I said.

"I would like a million bucks." Linda remarked.

"Oh, it's you." Ollivander said.

"Yes it is I." Linda replied dramatically.

"Wand." I reminded them.

"Hold out your wand arm." Ollivander ordered.

"Okay." I said while holding both of my arms out.

"Just one."

"But I would like to be able to use either hand or two wands that would be cool." I answered.

"How do you know which one is which? How do you know we have a wand arm?"

"Tricky customer I see." Ollivander replied ignoring Linda.

"I just want a wand." I whined.

"It makes sparkles." Linda agreed nodding her head sagely.

"Try this one." Ollivander said placing a wand in my hand. I flicked it and a box hit Ollivander in the head.

"I don't think that one is right." I said.

"Try this one." Ollivander said gesturing to a wand that was on a table. I went to pick it up and it blew up before I could touch it. "That's different."

"Somehow I have a feeling that this one isn't mine." I remarked.

"Try this one." Ollivander said before hiding behind a table. When I flicked the wand the tip broke then somehow burned and turned to ash.

"That was cool." I said.

"Hmmm, very destructive magic." Ollivander noticed.

"Apparently."

"Let's try a sturdier wand. This wand type is usually only used by men."

"Of course I would get the manly wand." I sighed. Now the wands are in league with the fortune cookies.

"What is it cast iron?"

"No. Ivory. Usually I make wands with wood."

"You're special." Linda teased.

"Of course I am."

"Give it a try." He said handing me the wand. I swished the wand and the usual green sparkles came out.

"No lightning? Fire?" I said staring at my wand which caused it to spit a small thing of lighting out. "At least my wand is humoring me."

"My wand doesn't tell jokes." Linda whined.

"Haha, my wand has a personality." I mocked Linda.

"Curious." Ollivander said mysteriously.

"What?" I questioned.

"That particular wand—

"Wait." I interrupted. "Whenever you say something like that it never goes well. I don't want to know."

"Well, I do." Linda said.

"Fine."

"That particular wand contains a hair."

"A hair?"

"From Tom Riddle's head."

"Hahahaha." Linda and I laughed.

"What's so funny?" Ollivander questioned.

"Tom Riddle's hair!" I said.

"He has hair?" Linda questioned.

"Wait, why would you use someone's hair in a wand?" I questioned.

"It was custom made." He replied.

"For who? Tom Riddle?" I questioned.

"Yes."

"Doesn't he have a wand?" I mused.

"He wanted a spare."

"With his own hair in it?" I questioned once more.

"That's a bit conceited." Linda remarked.

"Doesn't a wand need to contain some magical creature's body parts or something?" I keep questioning.

"Yes."

"Then how the hell does my wand work?" I freaked out, while questioning.

"It's the ivory and I never expected it to work for anyone other than Tom Riddle."

"That says a lot about you." Linda said with a smirk. I swear it was a smirk.

"Dang it." I muttered.

"I figured it might work because it has very little magic on its own but it is very sturdy."

"And manly." Linda giggled.

"Great not only do I have a manly wand but I also have a wand with a crazy psychopath's hair."

"Yes, yes you do. I have my own wand, which is normal." Linda gloated.

"Curse me and my destructive powers." I said and noticed my wand was starting to do something. "Not literally. Stupid wand."

"The price for the wand has already been paid by Tom." Ollivander said.

"Hey Linda, how the hell did you get your wand? You don't have any money."

"I annoyed him until he gave it to me."

"She did." Ollivander said.

"I believe it."

"Wait, how are we going to pay to stay the night here?" Linda questioned as we stepped out of the wand shop.

"Crap."

Preview from next chapter: Train Ride Time

"Join us." I said creepily.

"Yes, join us." Linda said creepily.

"Um." Ron said confused.

"Good to know we can still scare small children." I said proudly to Linda.

"I am not a small child." Ron said walking into the compartment.

"No, I suppose not." I said grinning before I poked him in the belly.

"Hey." Ron whined.

"Oh look you all are inside, now you have no choice but to stay." I grinned eerily at them.

"Stupid compartments being full." Ron whined.

"Yes blame the inanimate objects." I pointed out.

"Just like we do." Linda smiled.

"Join us." Linda and I said in random creepy unison.