CHAPTER 2

Kagami continued to fuss with her hair as she struggled to balance her small hand-held mirror in her one hand while she combed out her long pigtails as the train carrying her and Misao ran down the tracks. At first Kagami was looking forward to this social event and decided to dress nice for the occasion, but it was when she arrived at the train station and saw Misao dressed casually and nonchalantly that made her question her own wardrobe. Now she was nervous that she was inappropriately dressed. Misao herself was dressed in regular jeans and a t-shirt with a buttoned shirt over it while Kagami wore a wardrobe that bordered on a dress.

"Like I said, it's a graduation party, not a graduation formal." Misao said with a laugh.

"You could've mentioned that earlier." Kagami snapped as she finished redoing her hair.

Giggling again, Misao crossed her legs. "Relax, Hiiragi, it'll be fine. Just follow my lead and waltz in like you own the place. Who knows, you might even hookup with a cute boy."

Kagami squinted her eyes and turned her head to look at her friend. "Why would I do that? I thought you said there were going to be parents at this party."

Misao instantly realized she made a mistake but knew they were down the rabbit hole by this point so she decided to come clean. "Oh yeah…about that…um…I lied. Sorry."

"You lied to me?!" Kagami yelled and jumped up, attracting the attention of the few other passengers on the evening ride. "I told my parents there would be supervision at this party! Now they're going to think I lied to them!"

"I said to relax, Hiiragi! You know this is exactly why I had to tell you that there would be parents there! You were a good girl your whole life and I've never even seen you so much as jaywalk let alone go to an all adult party, which you now are one!" Misao made her case for deceiving Kagami. "I mean come on! You're eighteen years old now and out of high school! As far as the rest of the world is concerned you're just another adult so why don't you live like one for once, if not only once? Huh? You have your entire life to worry about conforming to what society and 'the man' tells you to and with the way you run your life already this will most likely be the only time you'll enjoy yourself! You need to stop putting so much damn pressure on yourself and take a breather and go wild sometimes! With all of that pressure you always put on yourself in school I sometimes thought you were going to die! You only live once so you need to practically live every day like it was your last because who knows? You could be walking down the street one day and a runaway bus would come and turn you into a road waffle!"

Misao's lengthy retort silenced Kagami as the angered twin-tailed girl grabbed a support pole when the train bumped. She looked down at the floor while searching her mind to try and find a response of her own but was coming up empty.

"Come on, Hiiragi. You're my friend too and I won't let anything bad happen while we're there. I know the guy who's throwing it and it'll be fine. Just stick close to me and for crying out loud, enjoy yourself." Misao's voice quieted and the other people in the train soon lost interest in the quarrel and turned away.

Kagami still stood and remained silent. When Misao said to her "you have your entire life to worry about conforming to what society and 'the man' tells you to and with the way you run your life already this will most likely be the only time you'll enjoy yourself," Kagami couldn't help but think. All her life she only truly knew the world of the academic and never did anything crazy or out of her comfort zone with herself. Even Konata knew this and occasionally made fun of her for it, whether it was her inability to do household chores or even work in the real world. Because Kagami was a smart girl, she began to see the handwriting on the wall and connect the dots while making parallels in her mind. Ironically, could two of her most academically-dimwitted friends be speaking true knowledge for once?

The twin-tailed girl wondered and even worried about the answer as she slowly sat down next to Misao again. Her brown-haired friend patted her bluntly on the shoulders and said, "There you go! Live a little! Everything's gonna be just fine, Hiiragi!"

Kagami nodded uncomfortably and looked at Misao again. "Kusakabe, what exactly did you mean when you were talking about putting pressure on myself?"

Misao looked at Kagami again. "I was just saying that I'm a little concerned, that's all. You never seem to truly get out and enjoy yourself and you're planning on starting college, right?"

Kagami nodded.

"Well, I'm not." Misao said with pride. "I'm taking a year off and going on trips and living life my own way before I have to bow down to what society wants me to. With all this academic pressure you put yourself under, I just worry sometimes. That's all."

Kagami looked at the floor again.

"And besides, I also worry about how you'll do at college." Misao added, catching Kagami's attention again. "I mean don't get me wrong, you'll blow all your grades out of the water and everything but it's the fact that the ball is in your court now. All your life you've been doing what a teacher or some mainstream school system has told you to do. I just wonder how you'll adjust to finding yourself and setting up your own schedule and lifestyle. College is a much different world and I'm not entirely convinced it's for me so good for you, Hiiragi, for wanting to make that gargantuan leap."

Misao patted Kagami on the shoulders bluntly again, though her dimwittedness reared its ugly head once again when she failed to look the twin-tailed girl's face. Kagami was scared. Her eyes were trembling in her head and began to dart in every direction and her breathing became deeper as sweat began to form across her forehead. Even her teeth began chattering as her heart began to beat faster and faster at the idea of going to college, especially since she was accepted into a university in Osaka. It was a pretty good distance from her home in Saitama and she would be very far away from her family and everything she had ever known.

Now she began to truly question all of her abilities as a person and her resolve as a student. She wasn't sure that she would be able to take the pressure, especially since she knew that Misao was right in the fact that she would inevitably put more on herself to stay on top of her schooling game. The fact that Kagami's everyday routines were about to be taken away and shuffled scared her deeply.

And what of the rest of her friends? Miyuki was going abroad while Misao and Konata still didn't seem to have a care in the world. Despite those two drastic differences in life pursuits, the three girls seemed to be really well vested into them while Kagami was left questioning not only what she wanted to study or even do, but also if she could handle the pressure. Tsukasa was another unique case. Everyone, even Tsukasa herself, knew that she didn't have it in her to be some brave world traveler like Miyuki or impulsive adventurer like Konata or Misao, so it didn't surprise anyone when she applied to and was accepted into a culinary arts school within driving distance of their home. Still, she was taking high school graduation with stride and was excited about starting school again in the fall, especially since it was something she was going to be very interested in.

Kagami continued to think and overanalyze not only her situation, but also everyone else's and began to make herself paranoid. What if she were to join Misao on her adventures across Japan and waiting for the next semester? But Kagami had already dotted all her I's and crossed all her T's at this point. The university was expecting her, especially after she worked so hard on her admissions essay and beefed up her overall academic resume that impressed the office. The application process was so painstakingly tedious as well so she couldn't go through all of that just to simply turn away from it.

The muscles inside Kagami's neck constricted, making her gulp in fear and her palms became moist as she trembled. She could feel the heat on her now and it seemed that the world's spotlight had found her. The sun was setting on her graduation day but the glowing orange rays shining through the train windows made her feel that she was on the center of some giant stage and every possible career or future employer was watching her every move. She suddenly felt alone and exposed as she turned back to Misao and saw her friend was still reveling in the fact that she didn't have to go back to that forced labor camp called high school every day. In Kagami's mind, she was the crazy one but now she wasn't so sure.

Something had to be done to take this vicious and never-ending fear and edge off. Maybe it would be okay for her to live a little for tonight, if not only tonight and see where it goes. She still wanted to keep her morals in perspective. There was no way Kagami was going to hookup with some random guy or worse, get pregnant at an early age. Maybe a few drinks wouldn't hurt. She might even meet a few new people that would be able to put her fears at ease. After all, she had to admit that Misao did have a point when she said that you only live once and the unexpected could happen to anyone so it was best to live every day like it was going to be your last.

Kagami also wanted to keep in mind that she wanted to be a good role model for Tsukasa. She knew just how much her younger fraternal twin looked up to her and idolized her. The twin-tailed girl always liked to show off her good grades and even stay ahead of Tsukasa, but at the end of the day Kagami really appreciated having her little sister with her and she was always there to keep Kagami on her best game. So Tsukasa would always have someone to look up to and Kagami didn't want that someone she worshiped to be the crazy party girl who disappointed or disobeyed her parents just because she thought she could or that she was entitled to it after working so hard in school. Kagami's mind continued to prove itself to be an endless cyclone effect of countless worries and predicaments that haven't even manifested themselves as realties yet. It only further proved to her that Misao of all people had a point, which was beginning to scare her even more than the pressure she was putting on herself.

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Kagami was incredibly scared when she and Misao walked side-by-side down the neighborhood where the party house was. It was dark out now and the oldest Hiiragi twin was in a part of town that she was never at before and she was beginning to fear for her safety. Misao on the other hand still strolled down the street like she was out for a casual walk with no fear. They could hear the pulsing ripples of bass music shaking the ground beneath their feet in the distance and they knew they were close.

"I don't know how many times I need to keep telling you to relax, Hiiragi." Misao said with a grin. "I've been on this scene before and I know what I'm doing so just stick by me. Consider me your wingman going into this party."

"You seem a little too calm for this. I'm nervous right now and I could tell you that my sister would be catatonic right now if she was with me. How many times have you done this before?" Kagami asked.

"Oh…a few times. Usually during Golden Week or when I was lucky during a school night." Misao replied, still without fear or regret in her confident voice.

Kagami gasped again at the culture shock. "On school nights?! Are you insane?!"

"No, I just have a healthy addiction to craziness." Misao jabbed at her friend who she viewed as being a borderline puritan.

The twin-tailed girl rolled her eyes. "I don't think I could ever live like you, Kusakabe. I need order and certainty in my life."

Misao giggled at Kagami's desire for a structured life. "Well…we'll see what we can do about that tonight. Look, there's the house."

Kagami looked forward and spotted a more modern-style house that showed the lively atmosphere of a wild party. They could see people through the windows either dancing, talking, or drinking, putting Kagami further on the edge. Empty alcohol bottles and cans littered the front yard, disgusting Kagami and to her surprise and even fright, she saw a shirtless guy resting face down in the grass with a bottle still clutched in his hand.

Kagami tugged at Misao's shirt. "Is…is he okay?"

Misao looked at the source of Kagami's distress and replied, "He's fine. He's just very tired…from drinking so much."

The two girls walked up the front porch, where three guys smoking cigarettes and holding beer bottles were keeping an eye on the door. Misao approached them as Kagami still reluctantly followed and the brown-haired girl stood with her chest puffed out as the three young men didn't know what to make of the girls.

"Can we help you ladies?" One of them asked rudely.

"Yeah, you can tell Ryuji that Misao is here and that I hope he can hold his liquor better this time around!" She replied loudly over the pulsating music.

The three guys suddenly began laughing and another replied, "Oh…so you are the famous Kusakabe we've heard so much about."

"In the flesh!"

"Hey is it true that you were able to do eight shots and still have enough strength left to give that transfer student a black eye?" The third one laughed.

"And a loose tooth!" Misao added to the story, making Kagami form a horrified face. "So are we gonna get our drink on tonight or would you three boys prefer us to stay sober and keep all of our inhibitions?"

The three guys laughed again and one of them opened the door for them, letting the earsplitting music rip into their bodies and Kagami instantly shielded her ears from it. Misao on the other hand grabbed Kagami and pulled her inside the unknown world of debauchery and social deviation of her serene upbringing.

The first thing Kagami saw was a boy and girl roughly her and Misao's age and making out deeply in the hallway while countless other people continued to party around them. It shocked her deeply and made her blush as Misao continued to pull her. They went passed a living room where people were dancing wildly, some shirtless while waving their clothes over their head. Kagami felt even more uncomfortable when another couple roughly her age brushed past her and Misao, the boy pulling his girlfriend by her hand and he led her upstairs to the bedrooms.

Misao finally pulled Kagami into the kitchen, where more people were drinking heavily. More empty bottles and cans littered the floor with the party still running wild and when Misao made her presence known in the kitchen, it somehow got louder. When the boys saw her, they cheered and started clapping as she made her way into the kitchen and she was happy to be there, the polar opposite of Kagami.

The twin-tailed girl was already looking for the nearest exit as she remembered the stories and lessons she got from her family, especially her parents regarding parties like this. Unlike Misao, she also paid attention in health class and knew that these kinds of parties could lead to adult rendezvous that would result in permanent diseases or infections, which scared straight-laced Kagami even straighter. She suddenly became paranoid and kept turning her head to look over her shoulder, fearful that some drunken idiot would try to either hit on her or worse make a physical move on her.

It wasn't until Kagami heard the voice of another boy call for Misao that diverted her attention. He had long black hair that covered his ears and messy bangs that drifted over his eyes with facial stubble around his jaw. He had an overall average look about him and didn't look too physically impressive but was still had more muscle tone than Kagami. His name was Ryuji Katsumoto.

"Kusakabe you bitch you up for another shot competition?" Ryuji exclaimed and stepped forward with a bottle of vodka.

"Anytime you are, Ryuji! I don't know how you'll handle yourself seeing as how last time I drank against you I used your balls as olives for my martini!" Misao snapped with a smile, deepening the laughter in the room and furthering Kagami's dismay.

Kagami tugged at Misao's shirt again. "I want to go home now."

"Hey who's your friend?" Ryuji asked when he spotted the uncomfortable twin-tailed girl.

"This is my friend, Hiiragi Kagami. We graduated high school together." Misao introduced her to the guys.

"Wow…you graduated high school, Kusakabe?" Ryuji replied. "You always struck me as the Bronze Medalist in the Special Ed classes."

Misao was about to respond bluntly but hearing the sound of Kagami giggle in response to the insult made her think otherwise. She turned and saw Kagami covering her mouth and doing her best to keep her giggle from evolving into a full-blown belly laugh. Misao couldn't help but smile at the sight as her friend was finally beginning to loosen up and have some fun, even if it was at her expense.

"So you're a friend of Kusakabe, eh?" Ryuji eyed Kagami. "She's a pistol ain't she? It's just too bad she's always a misfire."

Kagami still struggled to contain her laughter as the tears forming in her eyes showed.

"Alright that's enough!" Misao exclaimed. "One more word out of you and I'll knock your teeth down your throat!"

"Easy there, Dyke Tyson." Ryuji said calmly.

Kagami's dam broke and she began laughing hysterically at the last statement. She held her stomach and laughed at the witty and quickly timed retorts from Ryuji and she had to admit that she was having more fun now. This new guy was able to crack her shell and she needed to feel at ease in this foreign and stressful situation, which Ryuji gave her so easily.

"Can I offer you ladies a drink?" He asked and held up the bottle of vodka, grabbing Misao's attention.

"Hell yeah, pour me a shot!" She commanded.

All of Kagami's laughter and returned peace of mind suddenly disappeared. "Um…no thanks. I'm underage and I don't really want to start drinking anytime soon."

"I'm underage too, Hiiragi!" Misao boasted. "What did I tell you about living a little?! It's a shot of vodka, not a shot of cyanide! It ain't gonna kill you!"

Ryuji poured two shot glasses full of the clear alcohol and Misao wasted no time snatching hers and swallowing it in one gulp. She exhaled bluntly and laughed loudly while demanding another shot. Kagami on the other hand held the small glass filled with the clear liquid and sneered at it. It looked so much like a simple amount of water but it was far from it. Still, the academic Kagami Hiiragi was curious about this new substance she held in her hand and she slowly rose it not towards her mouth, but towards her nose.

The second she inhaled the liquid's odor into her nostrils, she instantly regretted it. It was like a thunderous punch to the nose and she winced and gagged at the intrusive smell, thinking it would jumpstart a vomit. Kagami quickly took the drink away from her nose just as Misao began laughing at her.

"You're not supposed to smell it, Hiiragi! Its straight booze, not a scented candle!" The brown-haired girl exclaimed.

"How can you drink this crap?! It's gonna taste terrible!" Kagami had to yell over the loudening music.

Misao laughed again. "Hello?! Nobody likes the taste of booze, we like what it does to us! You're supposed to swallow it before you can taste it!"

Kagami looked down at the clear liquid again and was still reluctant to drink it. She knew it wasn't going to kill her if she drank it but that wasn't what she was afraid of. What struck the most fear into her were the unknowns that would follow after she would swallow the drink. The unknowns of what would happen to her body and what would happen to her entirety if her parents found out that she was at a party with no supervision and underage drinking. She could already hear the relentless scolding her parents would give her if they found out she was drinking and she became more worried. Raised in the upscale mentality that she was, Kagami feared that one false step would be the end of her, and it made her fears and the pressure on her rise.

"Hey, Kusakabe tells me you're starting college in a couple of weeks!" Ryuji grabbed Kagami's attention.

This was a subject that Kagami was more comfortable with and she slowly kept coming out of her shell. "Ye…Yes. I'm going to school in Osaka."

Ryuji nodded with a smile. "That's cool. I could never do something that amazing. I mean, leaving home, packing up everything I've ever known and venture into the unknown where nobody knows my name and I have to start all over again. I'd get really lonely really fast."

Kagami inadvertently gulped. Ryuji was resurrecting all her fears that she dreaded earlier and her nerves became more rattled like the pulsing bass music echoing throughout the house. Her eyes suddenly drifted downward and she stared at the drink still sitting in her hands and she began to think.

"And to think about all the pressure my parents would put on me." Ryuji continued, making Kagami look at him again. "My parents wanted me to be a doctor and follow the family trade but I couldn't take the ongoing pressure so one night I finally said 'fuck all of you' and I started living my own way! I mean, the endless scolding, knowing that all eyes were on me, knowing that if I screwed up just once then my entire life would turn into the Hindenburg…damn I could never do what you're about to do, Hiiragi!"

Kagami responded with a forced and uncomfortable laugh and she quickly looked back down at the alcohol again swishing back and forth in the shot glass. Her heart was pounding relentlessly as Ryuji's words complemented her worries and fears regarding her future and what her parents, friends, and the rest of her family would say. All at once, Kagami could already envision the countless eyes watching her every move and to make it even worse, she would be alone in Osaka with only herself to keep her company while still feeling scrutinized over her academic decisions. It was all of this paranoia, fear, and even budding anger that kept Kagami's focus on the drink.

She slowly raised the glass again and following Misao's earlier words, she inhaled it. It was like drinking liquid fire at first until she swallowed and she felt the burning fluid rush down her esophagus, burning her throat as it went. The core of her stomach was suddenly set ablaze by the alcohol and she already began to feel better as Misao patted Kagami bluntly on the back again.

"There you go, Hiiragi! Let's do some more!" Misao cried.

Ryuji took the empty glasses and poured more of the alcohol and still focused on the internal pressure that was weighing Kagami down like an anchor, she beat Misao to swallowing it this time and to everyone's surprise, she was also the first one to ask for a third. It didn't take long until Kagami's face became red and she wobbled back and forth on her two feet as the party went on.

Misao had to guide the inebriated Kagami into the next room where the rest of the dancing was and the brown-haired girl began to dance with another one of her male friends while Kagami still struggled to keep her balance. She suddenly tripped on her heel and began to fall to her back, though she barely knew it. She did however feel someone catch her as she fell and keep her from hitting the floor.

She shifted her eyes up and saw Ryuji was the one holding her in his arms. Kagami's current condition hindered her from hearing his words clearly when he asked, "How about a dance?"

Kagami was able to read his lips and she slowly nodded and Ryuji lifted her to her feet again and to her surprise, he twirled her around on her feet, making her pigtails dance along with her and Ryuji led her. For the first time in Kagami's life, she was beginning to have fun while the vodka numbed most of her fears, though she had no idea she would have plenty of more in the months ahead.