Crowley POV
On the way to pick up Castiel Crowley stared out the window as the landscape rolled past. An angel, a demon and two hunters in a car, it sounded like the start of a bad joke and Crowley couldn't help smiling slightly at the thought. As he watched the scenery he was grateful Sam had insisted that they didn't have to blindfold him on their way to get the angel. Shifting his eyes slightly he silently watched Sam.
No one in his life had willingly gone out of their way to help him anywhere close to as much as Sam had so far. Sam had every right to hate him but didn't. From the beginning Crowley had doubted the sincerity. He had spent hours racking his brain for the end game. The problem was after he agreed to make the list there really wasn't much use in Sam continuing to be nice. There was nothing else to gain. It was difficult to believe Sam would do so much for him for no reason at all but that was the only answer left.
When they pulled into the gas station Crowley inspected the people. He needed to learn more about what it was like to be human. There were no memories from his prior life he wanted to draw from so instead he watched the other people interact. He had inspected people before but that was usually to get the upper hand in some deal or another. This was different somehow.
Sam POV
Sam and Dean entered and made their way over to Cass.
"Hey Cass, how's it been," Dean asked.
"It could have been worse."
"Anything new on the angel front?"
"I spent most of my time trying to get here. I didn't have time to gather much intel, most of what I do have isn't good. I suggest we wait until we get back to discuss everything."
"Good plan," Sam agreed. "I'll meet you two back at the car."
"Yeah, we'll catch up. And make sure you know who didn't do anything to mess up my car."
Rolling his eyes Sam exited the store. As he slammed the car door shut Sam turned and looked back to Crowley. Continuing to stare out of the window Crowley didn't even acknowledge Sam's presence.
"See anything interesting?"
Crowley POV
Crowley resisted the urge to growl at Sam. In a very real sense it was Sam's fault he was having these feelings. Crowley continued to watch the mother and son. The child had to be about seven and the family was obviously very happy. Crowley glared at the family as memories of his own past life surfaced.
Dean and Castiel finally made their way to the car. As the door shut Crowley turned to the angel. Castiel pointedly ignored Crowley and Crowley rolled his eyes.
"Alright Sammy, you ready?"
"Not really but I understand the need for it." Sam turned looked back over the seat holding the blindfold. "You ready for this?"
"Oh just give it to me," Crowley barked yanking the blindfold out of Sam's hands. "I can do it myself." Angrily he covered his eyes and tied the blindfold. Crossing his arms he sat back and waited. "Well?"
There was a shuffling noise and Crowley felt someone's hands checking the blindfold. Rolling his eyes Crowley huffed and waited for them to be satisfied the blindfold was really secured. Like he wanted to see anyone else right now?
.
When the blindfold was removed Crowley looked around and found them in the 'dining area' of the bunker. Crossing his arms Crowley leaned back against the table and waited. Everyone in the room looked at everyone else each seemed to be waiting for someone else to speak first. Feeling the beginnings of the withdrawals Crowley did his best to hide the symptoms.
"Yes, well," Castiel began. "I was wondering, can I stay here for a few days. Just until I can find a job."
"And why do you need a job," Crowley inquired.
The discomfort in the room deepened.
"None of your business," Castiel snapped.
Crowley rolled his eyes. "Okay, so-"
"So you should be getting back to your 'prison' right about now," Dean interrupted.
"By all means," Crowley said holding his hands out. "Lead the way."
"I'll take him," Sam said as Dean started forward.
"My hero," Crowley muttered.
As Sam grabbed him by the upper arm Crowley fought the urge to pull away. Fuck him. Sam was one of those people that showed what was good in the universe. He shouldn't be wasting his time on me, Crowley thought. Other people deserve this, not me. I've never been about anything more than survival.
When they entered the dungeon Crowley did pull his arm out of Sam's grip.
"I think I've got it from here." A shiver from the blood withdrawals ran through him and Crowley tried to suppress it. He looked up and glared at Sam.
"You okay?"
"Fine," Crowley gritted out. He had to get Sam to leave. Now.
"You don't sound fine."
"Whatever, just leave."
Dean POV
"Are you sure we should be doing this," Cass asked.
"You trust Crowley," Dean asked back.
"You know I don't, but Sam can handle this."
"Just shush and-"
"You need blood," Sam said just barely loud enough for them to over hear.
"Don't want it."
"Wanted or not you need it."
"I don't need anything from you!"
"Crowley,-"
"Damn it Sam, you don't get it! Being a demon is only part of the problem. You can't trust me. Even as a human my only goal has ever been survival; that's it. No frills, no lace trim. No caring about the cost. I will do anything to survive! Don't you get it? Even human I'm not the one you save, I'm what you destroy. I'm what you destroy to save others!"
"I am not giving up on you. You have to know that."
"Get out."
"What?"
"Leave. Just... get out."
"Crowley-"
"Get out Sam Winchester before you give me another reason to despise humanity. Another reason to despise you! Just get out!"
"Dean," Cass whispered.
"Hush Cass. Come on," Dean said grabbing Cass' arm.
The pair made their way back upstairs and to the living room.
"What does he mean Crowley needs blood?"
"Ever since the trial Crowley needs blood to stay 'human'."
"So, what, he's not a demon anymore?"
"Oh he's still a demon, mostly."
"Dean, about what Crowley was saying..."
"No."
"I think," Cass began.
He stopped short when Sam stormed into the room. Both turned and watched as Sam paced back and forth. Growling Sam stopped near a bookshelf and shoved the books off one of the shelves onto the floor.
"Damn him!"
"Tell us how you really feel," Dean piped up leaning back against the nearest chair and crossing his arms.
"I'm done. I'm just... I'm done with everything. Done with this whole mess, done with trying, done the blood, done with him."
Dean uncrossed his arms and shoved himself off the chair. "What do you mean you're done?"
"I mean I'm done Dean. You were right."
"You can't be serious."
"I'm completely serious."
"After arguing with me about killing him all this time you're suddenly going to give up on him? And for what, one temper tantrum? Come on Sam, you said it yourself, this is new to him. You can't expect there won't be a little resistance some times."
"Resistance? You should have heard what he said."
"I did hear."
"So, what, you're spying on me now? No, you know what, don't answer that. I'll be in my room. If Crowley needs anything, you get it. I'm done."
"Damn it!" Turning to Cass Dean shook his head. "We need to go back and check on Crowley."
Cass cocked his head and looked at Dean inquisitively.
"Crowley wasn't looking too good when we got back. If Sammy didn't give him any blood then we're going to have a problem pretty soon."
Crowley POV
And right on cue, Crowley thought as the shakes started. Grimacing against the pain Crowley wrapped his arms around himself. Bloody hell, this sucked and it was only going to get worse. This time there was no Sam to rescue him from this torture. What the hell had he been thinking earlier? He knew what he had been thinking. Protect Sam. Protect the one person he ever cared about in his long miserable life.
"Crowley?"
Looking up he noted Dean in the doorway and the angel standing right behind Dean. Bloody hell, just what he don't need right now.
"I take it Sam left before giving you any blood."
"W-What gave it a-a-away?"
Dean shook his head and walked back into the connecting room. Castiel continued to stare at him and Crowley growled at the angel. "F-F-uck o-off."
Dean walked back into the room carrying a syringe. Another wave of intense pain hit and Crowley's vision dimmed. Cold, he was so cold. Why did he run off the one person that could take all of this away? What the hell had he been thinking?
"P-pro... tec...t, S-Sam," Crowley stammered. That was why. He needed to protect Sam, even from himself. Hope it was worth it. No, don't let the voice come back, not now. He couldn't deal with that on top of everything else. When he felt his consciousness slipping away he embraced the blackness that engulfed him.
Dean POV
"He's still shivering," Cass noted.
"Yeah, he's going to be like that for a while," Dean informed Cass.
"Should we get him some thing? Like a blanket?"
"Maybe. Last time we carried him to Sammy's room and stuck him in the bed."
"You put Crowley in Sam's bed?"
"Sam's idea, not mine. I was all for leaving him down here. Sam didn't want to leave him alone and Crowley wasn't letting go of Sam at the time. Rather than Sam sitting on table for who knows how long we took him to Sam's room."
"Should we take him there now?"
"That'd go over swell. I can see it now, 'Hey Sam, I know you're angry with Crowley right now but here he is. Can he sleep in your bed now?'"
"So what do we do?"
Dean pinched the bridge of his nose as he thought about it. "Can you flash us up to my room?"
Cass raised an eyebrow. Finally he walked over and touched Crowley's shoulder lightly. Dean waited but nothing happened.
"Something's blocking me from teleporting us," Cass stated.
"It's got to be the cuffs, that's the only thing that makes sense. He can't use supernatural stuff while he has them on and they can't be removed by anything except the key. Okay so we do this the hard way."
Dean walked over and grabbed one of Crowley's arms. Instantly Crowley snuggled into Dean's side.
"Cold," the demon muttered.
"Yeah yeah," Dean responded rolling his eyes. "Okay Cass you get the other side."
Crowley POV
"Mmm." So warm. Crowley snuggled closer to the warmth.
"Hey, watch it."
Dean? Crowley's eyes shot open and he looked in the direction of the voice. Yep, Dean. Glancing down Crowley noticed he had one arm over the elder Winchester and one hand locked tightly on Dean's forearm. Jerking backward Crowley fell off the bed. What in the fuck was Dean doing here?
"You okay down there?"
Dean's head leaned over the side of the bed and Crowley scrambled to his feet.
"What the fuck!"
"Wasn't my idea for you to get all cozy with me. You just wouldn't let go and it was easier."
The door opened and Castiel entered. Things just kept getting worse and worse.
"Get a leash for your boyfriend," Crowley snapped at the angel. Castiel merely tilted his head and continued to stare. Stupid angel!
"Well now that you're awake, we need to talk."
"I agree. What in the name of hell just happened? Wait, don't tell me. I died and I'm in hell."
"Nope, didn't die and not in hell. Just my room," Dean informed him.
"Why?"
"Cause you pissed off Sammy so we couldn't take you to his room."
Through the familiar feeling of human blood he felt something darker. Something different. "You," Crowley accused. "You gave me your blood."
Dean shrugged.
"Damn it Dean!"
"Once again, not my idea. You pissed off Sammy."
"I did it on purpose you moron! I didn't want this anymore!"
"What, being human?"
"Yes!"
Dean shrugged again. "Deal with it."
"Whatever, I'm going back to my room."
Castiel moved to block the door and Dean stood up off the bed.
"Nope. Like I said, we need to talk," Dean said walking around until he was standing next to Castiel.
"I'm not really in a talkative mood. Get out of the way."
"Not happening Crowley."
"Fine. Start talking so we can get this over with."
"What did you need to protect Sam from?"
Crowley flinched. No, he couldn't discuss Sam. Not with Dean and especially not with the angel present. There was no way he was revealing his feelings for Sam to anyone, especially not Sam's brother and Castiel.
"Answer me Crowley. What are you protecting him from?"
Unwilling to be weak Crowley shoved his feelings down and straightened. "I would think that your brother can protect himself just fine."
"We're not talking about Sammy's abilities. We're talking about you. What did you mean when you said you needed to protect him?"
"I never said that."
"You talk in your sleep."
"Whatever." Crowley crossed his arms and glared at Dean.
"I know what you were doing."
"Good. Then there's no reason to continue this little party any longer."
"You want to shove Sam so far away he will finally give up on you. Shove him away so he won't inject you anymore. That way you don't have to be human, don't have to feel anymore, don't have to deal with pesky human emotions. But you see, I think there's more to it than just not wanting to be human any more."
"Good for you. Can I leave now?"
"Not on your life."
"What about on your life?"
Castiel took a step forward and Dean held out an arm stopping the angel.
"There's more to it than just not wanting to be human anymore. You're doing this for another reason. Why Crowley?"
"I don't need another reason. Being human is over-rated. I just want to get back to being myself."
"And that involves protecting Sam?"
Crowley growled.
Dean's expression shifted to confusion then finally shock. "Son of a bitch."
"What," Crowley huffed exasperated.
"It's Sam."
At the mention of Sam's name Crowley glared at Dean.
"You like him? Like... Like... that?"
Angrily Crowley turned his back to Dean and scowled. Dean grabbed Crowley by the shoulder and spun him around.
"Seriously?"
"Get off me," Crowley hissed shoving Dean's hand off of his shoulder.
"Sammy?"
"Shut it."
"Well if that isn't fucked up." Realization dawned on Dean's face. "You want to protect him from you?"
"Shut. Up."
"Holy shit."
"Wait. Are you saying he likes Sam like... as a partner," Castiel asked.
"You shut your mouth too," Crowley snapped.
"Just... holy shit."
Crowley rolled his eyes. "You've already said that."
"Just how do you think that's going to work," Dean asked.
"Obviously I don't, jackass. Can we please just let this go now?"
"Holy-"
"Yes, holy shit. As I've already pointed out, you've just said that; three times now."
"Wow. Okay so, where do we go from here?"
"We don't go anywhere. You stay here and I go back to my 'room'."
"Oh no you don't. We're not leaving here until we get this sorted out."
"For fuck's sake. There's nothing to sort out! I'm a demon, he's a hunter! I'm the bloody King of Hell and he's a Winchester!"
"Why?"
"Matter of birth I'd assume," Crowley snapped.
"Not that. Why Sam?"
"Are serious?"
"Yes."
"Have you always been this dense?"
"Dean," Castiel interrupted. "Sam is coming."
"Shit," Dean cursed.
The door to Dean's room opened and Sam stood in the doorway.
Crowley froze and tried his best to be invisible.
"So, whatever I decide you do the opposite of," Sam asked crossing his arms.
"You know what it's like when he doesn't get blood Sam," Dean reminded his brother.
"He's the one that didn't want it. What do you care anyway? Last I heard you were ready to gank him."
"Come on Sam, this isn't you."
"And defending a demon is you being you?"
"I'm not defending him," Dean shot back. "I'm helping you live with yourself. You know if you keep this up it's going to eat at you later. It's just who you are. If anyone knows you it's me, Sammy."
"Whatever."
"Sam, there is some thing you should know," Castiel stated.
Crowley's heart sped up as he fought against the urge to flee. Damn angel!
"He only said those things to get you to give up on him," Dean interrupted. "He didn't want to deal with the human crap anymore. He's trying to get you to give up so he can just go back to being full demon again."
Crowley's brow furrowed as he looked to Dean. Was Dean covering for him? Shifting his eyes sideways Crowley looked over to Sam. Sam seemed to be mulling over what Dean had said. Crowley shifted his eyes again until he was staring at the floor and waited.
"So, you got scared," Sam finally asked.
Crowley bit his lip.
"Crowley," Sam said impatiently.
"Yeah," Crowley whispered. "Sorry."
"You should also be aware he-," Castiel started.
"He's sorry for what he said," Dean said interrupting Castiel once more.
Thank you, Crowley thought, relieved Dean had cut off the angel yet again. Stupid freaking angel. Crowley heard Sam enter the room and bit into his bottom lip again. Sam's feet came into view as Crowley continued to stare at the floor.
"So," Sam started then trailed off.
"So I suggest we return Crowley to the dungeon and get started making plans to kill Abaddon," Dean announced.
"You have a dungeon," Castiel asked.
Dean POV
Dean led Crowley to the dungeon with Castiel following. Sam remained upstairs, still refusing to have anything to do with Crowley. He was really going to have to do some thing about that. When he told Sam that this was going to eat at him later it was the truth. That was just how Sam's mind worked. First things first. He had to get Crowley situated and have a talk with Cass. As they moved to the table Crowley's stomach grumbled. Dean frowned at the noise and let go of Crowley's arm.
"I thought you didn't get hungry."
"I don't. Haven't. Whatever."
"Sounds like you are now," Dean noted.
"If I am it's probably your fault."
"My fault?"
"I never got hungry with Sam's blood."
"So you're saying this is because of my blood?"
Crowley sighed and finally sat down. "Your blood is effecting me differently than Sam's blood. Apparently I recieve certain 'traits' from my donors."
"What did you receive from Sam?"
Crowley crossed his arms and refused to answer.
"I can outlast you Crowley."
"You know what I got from Sam's blood."
"I know it turned you human. Ish."
Crowley rolled his eyes. Uncrossing his arms Crowley looked down at the table and began picking at the wood. "It's difficult to put into words," he said quietly. "I started seeing how he sees the world. Not completely, exactly, but it was easier to see what you would call 'the good qualities'. I started wanting to see them. It's part of the reason I wanted him to give up on me."
"And you get hungry because of my blood?"
Crowley stopped picking at the table and looked up at Dean. "I got more than your desire for food."
"Like?"
"Like your view of the world."
Dean winced. The last thing they needed was a more jaded version of Crowley. If they couldn't get Sam to start donating again soon they were going to have issues. Note to self, find a new secondary donor.
"What if we gave you some of Cass' blood?"
"Are you out of your mind? You want to put angel blood in a demon? Are you trying to kill me?"
"I don't think that would be a good idea either," Cass agreed. "Even given the current circumstances it would probably still be bad."
"Current circumstances," Crowley asked.
"Not important right now. I'll be back with some thing to eat." With a nod to Cass Dean left the room and shut the door between the two rooms. Putting some distance between them and the dungeon Dean stopped near the stairs.
"About Crowley's feelings for Sam."
"What about them," Cass asked.
"I don't think it's a good idea to mention anything about it just yet."
"Why not?"
"Crowley hasn't been human for more than a week. He may be confusing certain feelings or he might really like Sam that way. Either way I'm not sure it would be good to tell Sam about it right now. Understand?"
"I think so. I trust your judgement in this. You're more experienced at being human than me."
Dean snorted. "If that isn't messed up I don't know what is. An angel and a half-human demon trying to learn to be human and the only role models they have are two messed up hunters."
.
Dean was almost done cooking by the time Sam made an appearance. Ignoring his brother for the moment Dean put the dishes in the sink to be washed later. Opening the fridge he snagged two bottles of water and a beer. Staring at the beer Dean finally replaced it and grabbed another water. Shutting the fridge he turned and toss one of the waters to Cass.
"Made an extra burger for you if you're hungry," he informed his brother. Dean didn't bother to wait for a response. Grabbing two of the four plates off the table Dean made his way out of the kitchen and toward the dungeon. Unsurprisingly Sammy followed.
"Who's the extra plate for," Sam asked.
Dean rolled his eyes. "Crowley."
"You made Crowley a plate of food?"
Dean stopped and turned to face his brother. "Okay, A, why do you care? I thought you were done with Crowley. B, you said if he needed anything I had to get it for him. C, I made you a plate too and it's getting cold. Stop pestering me. Go eat your food and let me do your job."
"Fine," Sam exclaimed rolling his eyes.
Dean retaliated by rolling his eyes back. "Fine."
Turning Dean began his trek again. The words wouldn't hit Sammy immediately but they would sink in eventually. Hopefully he could get through to his brother sooner rather than later. Eventually Sammy would regret his current attitude. Whether or not it would be too late to do anything about it was still in question.
"Food's here," Dean announced as he entered the dungeon.
Frowning Dean studied Crowley. One arm lay stretched straight forward and one cocked at a ninety degree angle. Crowley's forehead lay pressed into the crook of the bent arm and the demon was snoring softly. Snoring? Did he let Crowley sleep or wake him up so Crowley could eat? Dean set the plate down and sat in the one other chair at the table watching Crowley.
At first Crowley seemed to be sleeping peacefully. It wasn't until a second glance that Dean noticed the tension in Crowley's shoulders and the small twitches. Looking closer he noted Crowley's hands clenched into fists and the small grimace. Nightmare, Dean finally decided. What could give a demon nightmares? After watching as much as he could stand Dean reached over and shook Crowley's shoulder.
Sam POV
"Who the the hell does he think he is," Sam muttered re-entering the kitchen. "Dean was the one that wanted to kill Crowley in the first place. He should be happy I'm done with this. And now he's cooking for him?"
"In all fairness you did tell him you were done and he had to take care of Crowley."
Sam jumped at the sound of Cass' voice. He had forgotten about the angel. "You stay out of this," Sam grumbled.
Shrugging Cass returned to eating his burger. Sam stared at his own plate. Despite everything Dean had made sure to make some thing for him as well. Ever since they had been children Dean had been taking care of him.
"I'm helping you live with yourself... If anyone knows you it's me, Sammy."
Maybe Dean did have a point. Dean was probably the one person that knew him better than he knew himself. It was just getting so hard to continue trying to help Crowley when the demon wouldn't even meet him half-way.
"You know if you keep this up it's going to eat at you later."
Sighing, Sam finally sat down. As angry as he was right now, Dean was right. Sam would regret giving up later. The realization didn't help Sam feel any better. Between the realization and the burger in front of him Sam actually felt worse.
"Are you going to eat that?"
Sam was brought back to reality by Cass' question. Staring at his burger he realized he wasn't really all that hungry. He shoved the plate toward the angel. "You can have it."
Crowley POV
As his head banged painfully against some thing Crowley scooted backward frantically searching the room. When his eyes fell on Dean some of the panic finally subsided. Dean, the bunker, safe, his mind told him. Safe. Groaning Crowley reached up and rubbed the back of his head.
"You okay?"
"Fantastic," Crowley muttered.
"Bad dream?"
Crowley stopped rubbing at his head and let his hand slide down to the floor. Eyeing Dean he glared for a moment before shoving himself off the floor. Running his hands down his suit he frowned as he inspected it. At this point the suit was probably not even salvageable anymore. Damned Winchesters.
"Food's getting cold."
For a brief moment his mind flashed back to when Sam uttered the same words previously. If Dean was bringing him food had he succeeded in driving off Sam? Even though that had been his goal the thought of Sam hating him hurt. Shaking his head to clear it Crowley turned and found the chair he had been sitting in laying on its back. Walking over he righted the chair and sat down. Tilting his head slightly he inspected the burger before looking to Dean and raising an eyebrow.
"It's not poisoned," Dean informed him.
"I've never eaten a burger."
"Ever?"
"When I was human burgers weren't really a relevant food. After I became a demon?" Crowley shrugged. "I didn't have to eat so when I did eat I could afford to be choosy. Dean?"
"Hm," Dean asked taking a bite of his own burger.
"About Sam."
Chewing slowly Dean finally swallowed. "What about him?"
"Never mind."
"Crowley," Dean said flatly.
"Food's getting cold," Crowley reminded Dean.
Picking up the burger he tried a bite. Given its reputation as one of the most commonly sold items at fast food chains Crowley didn't expect much. He was surprised to find it was better than he had expected. Either burgers had gotten a bad rap or Dean's were just that much better than most. He would have to do research.
"So what about Sammy," Dean asked breaking into his reverie.
Crowley took a second bite and chewed slowly. Honestly he wasn't sure what he had been trying to ask. There was so much he wanted to know and he didn't have a clue where to start or how to put any of it into words. Swallowing he finally put the burger down.
"I'm not sure," he admitted.
"You know he's not into guys like that?"
Crowley rolled his eyes. "Even if he was, you seriously believe that I think we would end up together?"
"Look, what I meant was-"
"I know what you meant. Just... Just stop. You think I don't know what you're thinking? Poor confused Crowley. He doesn't know what he's feeling. Yada yada yada. Just stop. I don't need your sympathy."
"You know what? I could care less whether or not you live or die. What I do care about is Sam. If you really cared about him you might stop to think about what this attitude is doing to him." Standing, Dean turned and stormed out of the room without another word.
Staring at the burger Crowley's stomach growled once again. He didn't feel like eating anymore but his stomach seemed to disagree. Being human really sucked. Way to go. You managed to alienate both of them. "Shut up," Crowley muttered grabbing his head with both hands. "Just shut up."
Dean POV
Dean stared at the door skeptically when he heard the knock. Logically he knew it probably wasn't Crowley. The demon should still down in the dungeon. So Sam or Cass? He sighed, sat up and leaned back against the headboard. "Come in," he called out. When the door opened Sam walked in and close the door.
"Hey," Sam said awkwardly.
"Hey," Dean answered.
"So, how's Crowley?"
"Honestly?" Dean shrugged. "Not a clue."
"You just visited him Dean."
"I did. And you know what I learned? Different people's blood has different effects on him Sammy."
"What?"
"He picks up various aspects from the blood he gets. That's why he didn't want any more of your blood. When he gets your blood he notices 'the good' in the world."
"And that's a bad thing?"
"It is when you consider the things he's done. C'mon Sammy think about it. He's been a demon for like forever. All the things he's done? How do you think that makes him feel when he's got your blood coursing through his veins?"
Sammy grimaced at the thought.
"The problem is," Dean continued. "We don't exactly have anyone else who can donate to the cause."
"There's you," Sam suggested.
"Where do you think he got the last injection of blood from? The problem with that is he starts picking up on my qualities."
"And?"
"C'mon Sam, you really think Crowley seeing things with my views on life is a good thing?"
"Better than him hating himself."
"Oh right, it's infinitely better he hate everyone else?"
Sam grimaced again. "Cass?"
"Both Crowley and Cass seem adamant that injecting a demon with angel blood is a bad idea."
"But Cass is technically human right now."
"And Cass still thinks it would be a bad idea."
Both remained silent for a time.
"Kevin," Sam finally suggested.
Dean opened his mouth to respond and promptly shut it. He had forgotten about Kevin. It might be worthwhile to try. Kevin was technically human but he was also a prophet. Would that effect anything? It was an idea at least.
"Good thinking Sammy."
"I wish you'd stop calling me that."
"I know." Dean smiled. "How's Kevin doing with the angel tablet?"
"Not a clue," Sam answered frowning. "I guess we should check in with him."
"You haven't checked in with Kevin lately?"
"I've been busy with Crowley."
"Not lately you haven't," Dean muttered.
Sighing Sam sat down on the bed. "About that. You were right."
"About?"
"I got fed up with the attitude. I just wanted him to meet me part way. You were right though. If I give up I'll regret it later."
Dean struggled not to frown at that revelation. True he was happy he wouldn't have to deal with Crowley any more than necessary but he still wanted to knife the bastard. They had simply come full circle back to their initial problem. "So you'll donate for now when he needs it?"
Running a hand through his hair Sam turned to stare at the door.
"Oh come on Sammy."
"I just wish I knew if it was making any difference," Sam said turning back to face Dean. "I mean, what if it's not making a difference anymore? What if he's just biding his time until he can escape or kill us or whatever?"
"Damn it Sammy, this is your job! I'm the one that doubts everything. You're the one that's supposed to have the unwavering faith." 'Sam wants to see the good,' ran through his mind in an all too familiar voice. Groaning Dean rubbed a hand over his face.
"Why? Why don't I get to doubt? Why is that I have to have faith all the time?"
"Because that's who you are!"
"News flash Dean, you're not the only one that gets to have doubts."
"Yeah, but I'm the one that acts on them. You're the one that does the right thing despite doubting. It's why we work so well as a team Sammy."
"Maybe I don't want to be the one that has to have faith all the time anymore!"
When did everything become this complicated, Dean wondered. Everything used to be so simple, find whatever the big bad was and gank it. Whatever happened to the good old days? Dean scrubbed a hand over his face again.
"So is that a no, you won't donate?"
Sam hesitated. "I don't know," he said finally. "I just wish everything wasn't so complicated."
"We'll talk to Kevin about donating but until then we kind of need you to help out."
"I know." Sam ran a hand through his hair.
Crowley POV
"I should kill you now."
Crowley's head jerk upward to face the angel.
"You don't love anyone but yourself," Castiel continued. "You wouldn't know how."
"Castiel," Crowley greeted the angel. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Cut the act Crowley. What do you really want?"
Sam, Crowley's mind answered instantly. The name was on his lips almost before he could stop himself. Crowley pressed his lips together briefly to keep from actually speaking the name aloud.
"Jealous are we," Crowley asked suggestively.
"Hardly. The truth Crowley, what's your game?"
"Maybe I just want to use the Winchesters to get close to you," Crowley replied with a wink.
Stalking forward Castiel slammed his hands down on the table. "You don't love Sam. You're a demon, demons can't love anyone but themselves."
"Oh right, I forget, you're such an expert on being a demon," Crowley snarled.
"I was killing demons before you were ever born," Castiel snapped back.
Crowley pretended to yawn and leaned back in the chair. It might save them all a lot of trouble if he could get Castiel to kill him. On the other hand death was so permanent. Did he really want to die? He was so used to 'feeling' for what was right lately it took him by surprise when he didn't immediately feel the familiarity of Sam's blood coursing through him. Dean, Crowley remembered belatedly. Shoving the anger back he pretended to yawn once more and crossed his arms over his chest.
"You wouldn't kill me with Dean's consent and we both know it."
"You don't truly love Sam and we both know it," Castiel retorted.
Crowley fought back the urge to strangle the angel. Castiel had no right to tell him what he did or didn't feel for Sam. Did Dean really have to use his own blood? It was hard enough to deal with his feelings when it was Sam's blood. With Dean's it was almost impossible. Was this how Dean felt all the time?
"Why don't you scurry back upstairs to your boyfriend before he starts missing you," Crowley advised the angel.
"Not until you tell me what you really want with Sam," Castiel shot back.
The urge to throttle the angel increased. Castiel is Sam's friend, Crowley told himself. Sam wouldn't appreciate me attacking his friends. The words did little to alleviate the anger running through him. Stupid Dean.
"I'm waiting," Castiel pressed.
And you're going to keep waiting mate, Crowley thought. "Maybe I just like the company? It can get down right boring down here sometimes."
Castiel cocked his head as he studied him. "You're lying," Castiel answered sounding unsure. "Mostly."
Crowley pretended to take offense to the statement. "Moi? I never lie. I might stretch the truth some times, but lying? Never."
Castiel moved before Crowley had a chance to react. In an instant the both of them were on the floor, Cass laying over Crowley's chest. Crowley's arms pinned between the two of them. With the cuffs on it was impossible to pull his arms free. Roughly Castiel's hands gripped the sides of Crowley's face and the angel's eye bore into him. Before he knew what was happening he could feel Castiel's presence, searching, prying.
Panicking Crowley tried to blink away only to remember he why he couldn't. Right, the cuffs. Desperately he tried to force his eyes closed. No matter how hard he strained his eyes refused to close. Suddenly Castiel stood and backed away. Crowley's eyes slammed shut. Gritting his teeth Crowley cursed the angel.
"No," Castiel whispered.
"What's the matter? Didn't like what you saw," Crowley growled. "Maybe you shouldn't poke around in other people's heads without their permission." Lucifer only knew how much the angel had seen. Scowling Crowley forced himself to open his eyes. Standing he made a show of brushing off his suit and ignoring Castiel.
"You really do care for him?"
"You breathe one word of this to Sam and I'll kill you myself," Crowley threatened.
"Why? I mean, I don't understand how it happened but why would you not want him to know how you feel?"
"None of your business," Crowley snapped. "Now if you'll excuse me I have better things to do than argue with a socially stunted angel."
"Like what?"
"Like finishing the list. If you really wanted to be useful you'd get me some paper."
Castiel cocked his head and stared. Unable to stand the angel's gaze Crowley used the excuse of righting his chair to break eye contact with Castiel. Stupid angel. What right did he have to pry into things that weren't any of his business?
"You should tell him," Castiel stated quietly.
Crowley refused to acknowledge the statement.