I love posting things without Linda even reading them first…Waiting for her input would take too long. Luckily I know her so well that half the time I write what she does anyway.

I don't know why I put this line here...evil line of doom? Line of awesomeness? Line of button pushing?

Ugly Baby Time

Book 4

Linda and I were, unlike last time, merely thinking in British accents. I was reading Frankenstein which needs to have a British accent to fully get the feeling of the book. Linda was randomly thinking in a fake British accent. We were both transported, I would assume magically, back into Harry Potter World.

"Linda?" I questioned looking around this large, creepy, normal-spider infested mansion.

"See who is there Wormtail." I heard a raspy voice command.

"Crap." I cursed.

Meanwhile…

"Have you seen Candice? She is about, really tall, and has a manly wand?"

"No we haven't seen her."

"That's odd. This is the first random teleportation to your world that she did not come with me for. Speaking of, where am I?" Linda questioned just noticing she was in a clearing in the woods. Good job Linda.

"You are at the Quidditch World Cup." Fred and George both said excitedly.

"Awesome!" Linda said grinning and completely forgetting that I am missing. Great friend she isn't she?

"Wormtail, bring her to me." I heard the Voldemort voice command.

"Yes, my Lord." Wormtail said before exiting the room.

"Hello, Wormtail, fancy meeting you here." I said while backing away from the door that I was eavesdropping at.

"You need to come with me."

"I don't want to." I said before running away, like a smart person.

"Stop! Stupify!" Wormtail shouted after me.

"Don't wanna!" I shouted back almost reaching the safety of the graveyard. Sadly I tripped over a giant snake.

"Hiss!" the snake hissed at me moving like it was going to attack me. Luckily for me Wormtail caught up with me, huffing and out of breath, so I could use him as a shield.

"My Lord wants to see you." Wormtail told me between huffs and puffs, as if I didn't already over hear that when I was listening to their private conversation.

"Hiss." Nagini seemed to understand Wormtail because she started making me back up towards the room.

"Fine I am going." I pouted at the snake hoping she would pity me and let me go, no such luck.

"Shouldn't you be looking for your friend?" Harry questioned Linda as she waited in line to get her face painted.

"Face paint." Linda said simply as an answer.

"Aren't you worried?" Hermione questioned.

"She will be fine. She has an oddly manly wand and a book."

"A book?"

"She was reading Frankenstein when we teleported."

"How will the book help her?" Ron questioned.

"I don't know, but at least she has a book." Linda said sagely, as if she just solved all of their problems.

"Your magic seems to be compatible to mine." The ugly Voldy baby thing said after I attempted to scourgify it out of existence. Why I tried to use scourgify instead of something like incendio I shall never know. I guess I thought that ugly is the same thing as dirty.

"You just think that because I have your hair wand." I pouted because I was caught.

"That wand shouldn't work for anyone but me."

"Actually, logically, this wand shouldn't work at all." I pointed out logically.

"What do you mean?"

"It has no magical properties."

"The wood does."

"Not enough for it to work."

"Then how does it work?"

"I don't know; you're the evil genius."

"I shall have to research this."

"Good luck turning the pages."

"You can do it for me."

"The research or the page turning?"

"Both."

"Then wouldn't it be simpler just to have me research by myself."

"Yes, if I thought that you would share your findings."

"Wait, where are these books we are going to research with?"

"They are not here."

"Where are they?"

"I will have access to them once I have my body again."

"Then why would I have to turn the pages for you?"

"Wormtail you can leave us now."

"Yes my Lord." Wormtail said reminding me that he was there. I was having too much fun arguing with the ugly baby to notice insignificant details like Wormtail.

"Just because I made a point that proves you wrong doesn't mean you need to kick Wormtail out of the room."

"You can take care of me in Wormtail's stead."

"Ew, the ugly baby likes me." I said to absolutely no one because Wormtail left the building.

"I do not like you. Your magic is just more compatible with mine then Wormtail's weak magic."

"I like how you said nothing about the ugly baby comment. Just so you know I am not changing any diapers."

"Very well, I will use Wormtail for that."

"Nor am I burping you."

"Wormtail."

"Do I have to acknowledge your existence?"

"You are right now."

"Curses, foiled again."

"After party time!" Linda said happily celebrating with the twins.

"Yeah!" Fred or George celebrated with her.

"I feel like there is something I should remember, oh well, Butterbeer!" Linda attempted to remember an important detail about the plot but couldn't remember. She then proceeded to dance around the campfire like everyone else because for some reason dancing around fires is a fun party event.

"Nagini, you should eat this baby."

"Hiss…"

"Ugly Babies are the most delicious type of baby."

"Hiss."

"He is delicious I swear."

"Hiss."

"I am not lying."

"Hiss."

"No, I really think you should eat him."

"Hiss."

"If you don't eat him I will feed you this ugly baby."

"Hiss."

"Ugly babies are delicious and nutritious."

"Hiss."

"Well if you don't want this scrumptiously delicious ugly baby then can I interest you in rat flavored human?"

"H-hey!" Wormtail shouted to stop me from convincing Nagini to eat him.

"See how loyal he is, only stopping me when I started to go after him." I said to the ugly baby.

"True, but he knew Nagini would never eat me. She would eat him." Voldemort explained.

"Nagini, wouldn't you enjoy eating some nice ugly baby desert after having delicious rat-man meat?"

"Hiss."

"You are watching your figure? You are a snake you should want to become bigger and scarier."

"You are aware that none of what you are saying makes any sense with what she is saying." Voldemort pointed out.

"Prove it."

"She is saying—

"Until I hear her say it, I don't believe you."

"Wormtail, curse her."

"You will have to catch me." I said before running out the door. Wormtail stumbled out after me, panting.

"Stupify!" Wormtail shouted to get me to stop but instead I hid behind a couch.

"Stupify!" I said popping up from behind the couch and hitting him causing him to hit the ground with a thump.

"Wormtail?"

"No such luck." I shouted back happily.

"Nagaini."

"Crap." I said before rushing out the door.

"The death eater attack!" Linda said running into the forest with Harry.

"You knew about this!"

"Yeah, I know about everything." Linda said eerily.

"How do we get out of here?"

"Running around in circles, as far as I know. This is where Candice usually supplies the important information that I forgot."

"Then let's get started." Harry agreed with a sigh due to having to listen to a crazy person.

"Yay, we are safe." Linda said happily ignoring the burning tents, forest, and possibly people.

"Well who did it?" Harry questioned Linda quietly.

"Do you want the movie or the book version?"

"Both."

"I don't think I should tell, it's more fun if you find out about it later."

"Fine." Harry said tiredly. You would think he was tired or something from running around all night and not sleeping enough.

Preview from next chapter: Escape Time

"Can I go outside?" I questioned randomly.

"No." Voldemort answered.

"Please."

"No."

"But it's nice and cloudy outside."

"Shouldn't you want to go out in the sun."

"No I don't like the sun, I want to go outside when it's cloudy, which it is."

"Fine. Don't try to run away."

"Where would I go?"

"Watch her Wormtail."