CHAPTER 9
Despite the fact that Kagami ignored all of her parents' warnings and lessons about staying away from drugs and alcohol, she had to admit that heroin was starting to do incredible things for her. It not only took away the mental pain of losing Matsuri and Misao, but it also gave her one of the deepest and soundest sleeps she had ever had in her life. She couldn't remember the last time she slept so well but that was an opioid for you. The two times Kagami injected it into her body, everything suddenly felt better.
It was like warm golden sunshine flowing through her veins. It made everything okay and it made everything beautiful and everything was within her reach, even a clean conscience. Then she would come down and suddenly she needed more and was willing to go to extremes to get it. Slowly but surely, it was becoming her best friend. She still had the opportunity to quit but Kagami would never dream of it. At some point that is indefinable and inevitable, it would turn on her. It would grow fangs and claws, and it would have her soul in its crosshairs. It would lie to her and tell her that she wasn't doing anything wrong, thus justifying the acts that would soon follow to keep her friend close. It would soon make her feel that she would rather die than spend another second without it.
As this impending shipwreck that would become Kagami's life approached, there was one person that it would hurt more than her friends or other family members. It would kill Tsukasa the most. The youngest Hiiragi daughter was always attached to her mother as a toddler, but as she grew, the concept of her hero and protector evolved into Kagami. The twins became inseparable when they started middle school and it stayed that way all throughout high school. Within all those years, the girls became best friends and shared so many bonding moments and memories. Tsukasa wasn't aware that soon she would have to ask herself a question no one should have to ask themselves. What was more devastating? The fact that her hero in Kagami was soon going to be turned into a monster and victim of such a vice, or the fact that despite everything they had been through together, an illegal substance found in a syringe was able to give Kagami everything she ever needed while Tsukasa couldn't and it would also be able to simply take all those years of bonding and happy memories and replace them with drugs? Tsukasa had no idea that her very existence in every regard in Kagami's life was in danger of being replaced by drugs. Up until then, everything the twins shared was like a dream.
Regrettably for Kagami, her dream was about to end once again. She was jolted awake early in the morning by a shockwave of physical pain that made it hard for her to breathe and she began coughing. The withdrawal was back and it wasted no time in creating a new and even stronger craving for more of the drug to be injected. She began sweating again and her muscles started twitching and throbbing, making her want to scream in pain so she buried her face in her pillow and vocalized her intense discomfort. For Kagami, she couldn't afford to wait any longer and she had to make her move now. Desperation was calling her.
The twin-tailed Hiiragi pulled herself out of her bed and reached under her mattress. She pulled out her old schoolbag she used every day during high school and began to tip-toe downstairs, careful not to wake any of her other family members. She soon made it into the living room and eyed a glass display cabinet in the corner and her mouth watered as she saw the treasures inside that were about to become her key to her next fix.
Kagami stood before a cabinet with glass panels that was filled with so many artifacts that belonged to Miki's side of the family. Priceless items that included pewter plates, solid silver candleholders, a glass peacock with sapphires and rubies embedded in the tail feathers, a ceramic plate that belonged to Emperor Hirohito during the war, and a small solid gold statue of Buddha. All of them were family heirlooms that meant more to Miki than her own life and some she was planning on giving to her daughters as wedding presents when they would get married.
All of this was completely kicked to the curb when Kagami unlocked the giant cabinet and her trembling hands grabbed the pair of silver candleholders. She quickly stashed them into her bag and reached for the pewter plates. They too disappeared into the bag and it didn't take long until Kagami cleaned out the entire cabinet and she couldn't help but feel lonely and isolated as the precious objects were in the fast lane to no return.
Kagami knew it wouldn't be long until the rest of her family would be up and inevitably notice that all the family heirlooms were gone. She had to make her move now if she wanted to get her fix back and she grabbed her schoolbag and proceeded towards the front door. As she exited the living room and made her way through the kitchen that would take her to the front door, the oldest Hiiragi twin suddenly spotted something that caught her attention.
Her mother's purse was casually sitting on the kitchen counter in the open. Seeing the article sit there prompted Kagami to start asking questions about the bounty she had in her schoolbag. They all had a lot of family and sentimental value, but she didn't know how much the street value was for such items. The newfound friend surging through Kagami's veins made her think of taking these new habits and decisions to a new and darker threshold. This new friend injected into Kagami's arms was telling her that she needed real cash just in case.
The shaking twin-tailed girl gently placed her schoolbag on the floor and tip-toed towards the purse sitting on the counter. As if her body was on autopilot, she slowly reached out and pulled the purse closer towards her and she opened it at the top. Kagami suddenly felt paranoid as the withdrawal continued to chip away at her and she looked in every direction several times to make sure she was still alone. It took some time but the paranoia eventually settled and Kagami dug into her mother's purse and she found her wallet. She snapped it open and her mouth watered again when she saw the many yen bills tucked inside.
Kagami's heart and adrenaline were both pumping wildly, making her shake and sweat even more as her moist fingers gripped the bills and pulled them out. It wasn't a large score but it did promise her a few more hits of heroin if nothing else. Casually, Kagami tucked the wallet back into the purse and pushed it away as she stuffed the money into her pocket. Her conscience was a numbed entity and Kagami's fear of the continuous withdrawal and thoughts of hearing or seeing Matsuri again prompted her to pick up her schoolbag and once again head for the front door. The twin-tailed girl grinned sinisterly as she unlocked the door and slowly began to turn the handle. Kagami's paranoia continued to fuel her budding hostile mind and she believed that the angry voice of either her mother or father would stop her from leaving.
A voice did stop her however, though it wasn't angry nor did it belong to her parents. It belonged to a drowsy Tsukasa as she slowly came down the stairs and yawned, "Sis…is that you? What are you doing up so early?"
With her hand wrapping tighter and tighter around the doorknob, Kagami fought back her chattering teeth as sweat began to trickle down her forehead and the withdrawal constricted tighter around her body. She tried to keep from showing how deep and sporadic her breathing was becoming as Tsukasa reached the bottom of the stairs while still rubbing her sleepy eyes. Tsukasa approached Kagami, who still kept her back turned to her and was frozen like a statue.
"Sis, what are you doing with your schoolbag?" Tsukasa asked with curiosity. "Are you going somewhere?"
Kagami's face began to melt into a ferocious glare as she stared at the door only inches from her face and her quivering lips reared her gritting teeth. Many, many angry and hostile thoughts began to cloud her mind, some of them were violent and worst of all, they involved Tsukasa and Kagami began to wonder how far she would be willing to go to hide her drug addiction. What would she do if her little sister found out about not only her addiction, but the extreme lengths including theft she was willing to go to keep it going? Would she try and keep Tsukasa quiet? If so, how? She could only think of inflicting bodily harm on Tsukasa.
With her mind asking a thousand questions and trying to give equal answers in seconds, Kagami suddenly turned around and showed a cheery and happy face, instantly gaining Tsukasa's smile. "Oh this? I'm just taking a few things over to Konata. I promised her that I would loan her a few games so I'm using my old schoolbag to carry them."
Tsukasa deepened her smile. "Really? You're going to visit Kona-chan?! Then please wait for me! I'll go get changed and we can visit her together!"
Tsukasa's happy outburst nearly made Kagami yell at her to stay quiet for fear of waking the other family members. The twin-tailed girl was able to bite her lip and hold it in and once again added a new attribute to her rotting personality. Kagami smiled back, giggled to fake an interest in Tsukasa's happiness and replied, "Okay, okay. Hurry and get washed up and dressed and I'll wait for you."
Without another word, Tsukasa nodded happily, turned, and dashed back up the stairs to the bathroom. When Kagami heard the water running, she turned back to the door and abruptly left the house. Despite the fact that Tsukasa trusted every single word that came out of Kagami's mouth, the oldest twin continued to scurry down the road with a tight grip on her bag containing the stolen goods. Her adrenaline continued to pump as did her withdrawal and the heroin's most toxic effects began to diminish.
It was when the last of her high disappeared that Kagami began to slow down in the morning atmosphere and the full reality of what she just did came to fruition. More and more guilt began to peel sections of her away like a banana. She not only stole her mother's precious family heirlooms that meant the world to her, but she also stole money out of her purse. The woman that gave Kagami the gift of life and she stole from her. Kagami clenched her heart in agonizing guilt as her breathing deepened and she didn't know what to do. She thought about returning all the stolen goods and money but what if she ran into Tsukasa again or someone else in the house? Kagami was caught between a rock and a hard place.
As she continued to debate what to do, another new voice announced itself to Kagami and it was powerful enough to make her freeze again and tremble in intense fear when it asked, "Why are you doing this, Hiiragi?"
Trembling immensely, she slowly turned her head and her pupils shrank as the blood-shot veins in her eyes returned while her sweat increased. Her heart pounded harshly and she felt her body go numb when she saw Misao Kusakabe standing before her wearing the same outfit the night she died. Her features remained unchanged as she held her crossed arms over her chest with a disappointed stare to complement it. Kagami couldn't take it anymore and she quickly spun around while holding her bag close.
"You're not there! You're dead, Kusakabe! I held you in my arms and you died in my lap!" Kagami yelled.
Misao slowly shook her head. "You haven't answered my question. Why are you doing these things, Hiiragi?"
Kagami tightened her glare and shook her head. "You know why! This pain I feel! This endless guilt and infinite night that is my whole life now! I can't take it anymore! I need those drugs!"
"What would your sister say if she saw you like this?" Misao asked.
"Fuck you! How dare you ask me that?! Matsuri's gone just like you are! My sister is dead because of me!" Kagami yelled again, her stomach tightening.
"Kagami…you don't seem to understand… I am always with you…and watching you."
That voice. It wasn't Misao's as the brown-haired girl still stood before Kagami. Another chill ran down Kagami's spine as she slowly turned and she could no longer contain her panic. A person stood there that frightened her so bad, she lost control of her bladder though she didn't know it as the hot liquid trickled down her legs through her pants.
Matsuri Hiiragi was standing only a few feet from Kagami, also with a look and gesture that mirrored Misao.
"…Ma…Mat…Matsuri…" Kagami stuttered. "You…you're dead. I saw it. I saw them put your casket in the ground."
"You see a lot of things, Kagami. But I do too. I saw what you did in our home." Matsuri retorted calmly though disappointedly and continued. "How could you do that to mom? After all she's done for you and us. You just stole her most prized possessions and what were you planning on doing with them?"
Kagami quickly hugged the bag to her chest and took a step back. "That…that's none of your business, Matsuri! And why am I talking to you?! You're dead! You and Kusakabe are only images brought on by this fucking withdrawal!"
"Am I? Then how do you explain this?" Matsuri growled and stepped forward quickly. She outstretched her arms and to Kagami's surprise and horror, Matsuri was able to latch onto her and pull her into a hug.
Kagami could feel her. Everything she was hugging was real and solid. She felt the warmth coming off her sister's flesh, the soft fabrics of the clothes she wore, the heat of her breath blowing past her ear, and the scariest part of all, she could feel Matsuri's heartbeat against her chest. The twin-tailed girl was frozen in terror at first until reality struck her again. Kagami screamed loudly and wiggled free of her sister's grip and bounced back several steps while breathing hard.
Misao walked past Kagami, taking her by surprise and deepening her terror and the two supposedly deceased girls stood side-by-side, still holding their disappointed looks at Kagami. Kagami cleared her throat while still holding her schoolbag tight and uttered, "What…what do you want…from me…?"
Matsuri kept taking the lead. "I just wanted to say that I miss you every day and I love you, Kagami. I want to see you again…but at the rate you're going to go…it'll be too soon and I want us to meet on better circumstances. Think about it, Kagami."
Kagami blinked once and when her eyelids uncovered her eyeballs in less than a millisecond, Matsuri and Misao were gone. She was left alone standing on the empty street still clutching the bag full of hot items and she looked around frantically for the two girls but her eyes only spotted an older woman out walking her small dog at the other side of the street. She expressed a look of both confusion and concern as her small dog sat next to her on its leash.
"Excuse me, dear, but are you all right? You seemed to have been talking to yourself and rather upset to boot." The old woman kindly said.
Kagami saw this as the withdrawal symptoms becoming worse as her paranoia once again skyrocketed, as did her irritability and hostility. She hugged the bag tighter and yelled, "Fuck off, you old hag! There's nothing in here for you!"
Shocked by the venomous words from the fidgeting Kagami, the old woman didn't have time to retort as Kagami turned and started running as fast as she could down the street.
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Following the instructions Ryuji had written down for her, Kagami eventually wandered into a part of town she had never been to before and for good reason. It was a part of town where the police visited on a regular basis and every night it seemed to produce a new dead body to be cleaned up. Car alarms, sirens, screams, and the echoes of dysfunction sounded across this area as Kagami continued to make her way down a dirty sidewalk and neared the pawn shop where she planned to take the stolen goods.
She passed several alleyways in-between buildings that made her paranoid, especially when she heard disturbing sounds coming from the darkness of the alley. The twin-tailed girl couldn't tell if they were human or animal, which scared her even more. Another fear she was beginning to feel was the idea of a pair of dirty arms reaching out from the darkness, grabbing her, and pulling her in to do unspeakable things to her. Regardless, she still kept a tight grip on her schoolbag and hugged it to her chest like a shield and kept walking at a fast pace. Every building either had broken windows or graffiti was spray painted all over it, or a combination of both.
Kagami soon arrived at the pawn shop that matched the address written on her paper and it didn't look any better than the rest of the buildings. It was a single-story brick building with iron bars screwed over the outside windows and the curtains were drawn. Kagami walked past one of the curtain-drawn windows, not noticing the bullet hole in the glass. The green glowing neon sign above the building also told her she was at the right place and she approached the closed green door which was covered with rust and also had two bullet markings on it.
There was no doorknob of any kind on the door and the only thing that kept it from being an additional wall was a peephole towards the top of it. A sign was posted next to a button that instructed Kagami to push it if she wanted to be allowed in, which she reluctantly did and it was followed by a loud buzzing sound that made her jump and she heard the thick door unlock from the other side. Putting it together, Kagami slid the door aside and entered the dark store. She still didn't see the building that sat across the street from the pawn shop that would also soon become a part of her future.
Kagami was blasted by the smell of cigarette smoke and alcohol, two combinations that made her want to vomit as she walked further into the store. It was such a small store, yet she had never seen so many things packed into such a cramped area. Countless guitars were hanging from the ceiling, as well as other instruments including drum sets, saxophones, and trumpets. Kagami bypassed the rest of the random items and approached the glass cases where she thought the front of the store was also but she was alone in the store.
When she stopped at the front case and looked in to see hundreds of watches, jewelry, and silverware, the shaking girl looked around and whispered, "He…hello…?"
A large and fat man suddenly appeared from behind a doorway leading to a back room and he stood before Kagami behind the glass cases. He had a repugnant odor coming from him as he observed the young girl through his thick glasses covering his eyes. The man had several moles around his face and two front teeth were missing while the others were hideously discolored.
"What do you want, girl?" He snapped.
Kagami winced at the sudden and harsh introduction and she stuttered a few times, making the pawn shop owner impatient.
"Come on dig the maxi pad out of your mouth goddamn it. What do you want?" He snapped with more viciousness.
"Um…Ryuji told me to come here." Kagami forced out.
Hearing the name calmed the angry owner. "Oh…so you must be Hiiragi."
Kagami was confused by the sudden formalities considering how this conversation started. "I…I didn't know that he had mentioned me."
The store owner nodded. "He did. He mentioned that you might stop by with some hot items."
Kagami couldn't help but glance around to make sure they were still alone when he mentioned the items in her bag. She slowly nodded and began to pull them out of her bag and placed them all on the glass counter in front of her and the pawn shop owner began examining each item thoroughly. He was very impressed with the precious artifacts brought to him. He didn't know Kagami or even Miki personally but concluded that the latter must've come from a lavish background if she was once the owner of them.
When he presented an offer to Kagami for all of the items, the twin-tailed girl nearly collapsed. She was going to make a big score. Bigger than she could've imagined as she had no idea that items of such monetary value were always sitting in her home. When he dropped the cash onto the glass top, Kagami feared the tremendous weight of the money would crash through. She gulped and she sweated with her eyes still locked on the large stack of money. With the withdrawal still tearing away at Kagami, she still had a clear enough mindset to know that if she took the cash in front of her, there would be no going back.
The heroin in her system continued to talk to her and groom her into a newer and twisted way of thinking and rationalizing. The drugs were speaking to her through her veins and they were telling her to take the money. Her mother cleaned the house all the time but she never bothered to even look at those items. What were the odds that she would even miss them? Miki talked more about mundane things regarding her family and stopped mentioning those precious artifacts years ago. She probably forgot they were there. It would probably be weeks before she would realize they were gone and once she finally did, she more than likely wouldn't care. However, what was certain was that Kagami was still suffering and the withdrawal was still chewing her up and she felt that at any second, she would either vomit again or worse, see her dead sister again.
It was this whole string of thought that prompted Kagami to raise her clammy, trembling hand and wrap it around the thick stack of money. She quickly took the large wad and before the pawn shop owner could tell her to do more business with him, she was out the front door again and struggling to force all the money into her pocket. The iron door slammed shut behind her, making her jump and her breathing continued deeply.
Her eyes suddenly spotted activity across the street at another brick building with the windows blocked out and a pink glowing neon sign sitting on the top of it. The glowing sign blinked "TEASERS" over and over again but Kagami had barely noticed the sign let alone know what kind of building she was staring at.
The large front door swung open and a girl only a few years older than Kagami came storming out with her purse and a coat covering her and in Kagami's opinion, wearing too much makeup. She seemed very upset about something as she continued to tear down the sidewalk and another man suddenly came out of the dark building's interior and followed her.
"I'm tired of you not listening to me, girl!" He shouted at her as he walked behind her.
"And I'm tired of these fucking customers!" She screamed back. "It wasn't in my job description to do any of the things those assholes wanted me to do and yet you won't stop them!"
"Hey business is business and I need to do what I need to do to rake in the money! You of all people should know and understand that!" He added.
The angry girl suddenly stopped and turned. She faced her employer with an angry glare and spat, "Well then understand this! I quit! Find yourself some other girl that'll do those things! As if taking our clothes off wasn't enough for those pervs! Fuck you!"
She abruptly turned and kept walking down the street as the man cussed at her and called her several more obscene names before turning around and walking back into the building. He slammed the door shut and Kagami had seen enough. She called Ryuji once again, expecting to be hooked up with her new friend, ignoring all the missed calls and text messages from Tsukasa and Konata.
Meeting her dealer for a third time, Kagami once again had no idea what she was in for when Ryuji introduced her to crack cocaine. She had to be taught how to use the glass instruments known as crack pipes to smoke the rocks that sat in the glass sphere and filled her lungs with the toxic smoke. Kagami thought heroin was the best thing that ever happened to her. That was until crack entered her system.
She not only stopped hearing her sister's voices and seeing her face, she forgot about her completely, as well as the returning guilt of stealing from her mother. She just sat with Ryuji in an isolated area and continued to throw the money at him to keep getting her high. The effects of the potent drug became so intense that Kagami even began to forget all of the precious memories she shared with Tsukasa over the years. All the times, laughs, thrills, chills, and scares they shared were beginning to fade away in the clouds of smoke Kagami would exhale from her body. To make matters worse, the paranoia, which was a classic symptom of crack cocaine abuse, began to take control of Kagami's mind regarding her little sister. The chance encounter they had earlier in the morning as Kagami stole the heirlooms made the twin-tailed girl believe that her sister was conspiring against her. She started to view Tsukasa as a backstabbing mastermind whose only purpose in life was to keep her away from drugs. The only problem to that concept was the fact that Tsukasa was still oblivious to Kagami's budding downward spiral.
As the hours continued to wear on, Kagami forgot how to tell time, courtesy of the drugs. It was still early in the morning when Kagami sold her mother's prized possessions and met Ryuji. By dinner time, Kagami had blown through all the cash and was higher than she ever was before. As she stumbled home, the effects of the crack began to wear off. She didn't know that Ryuji deceived her as a result of his business and personality. Crack gave her a stronger high, but the high would wear off faster than heroin did as a result of the body trying to fight the poisonous substance. Her senses were still numbed so she didn't know that her mind was becoming a powder keg of potential hostile and violent outbursts against anyone who got on her bad side.
What Kagami didn't expect to see when she rounded the street corner and eyed her house were two police cars pulling away from her family's home. She was too high and numb to comprehend it, but her heroin addiction's earlier words were wrong. The first thing Miki realized when she stepped into her living room was the fact that her precious family heirlooms were gone. She was crying and throwing a fit all day because she thought that not only had the sovereignty of her family home been violated by burglars and her daughters may have been in danger, but those antiquities meant the world to her and she planned on passing them down to her daughters on their weddings. To think that they may be in the hands of sleazy thieves instead of in her home was breaking Miki's tender heart. Needless to say it resulted in an all-day interview with the police and for it to end with no promises of recovering the artifacts but a reassurance that they would do all they could.
As Kagami neared her house, she saw her crying mother in the warm embrace of her father with her sisters as they saw the police off. It was then that Kagami realized she may have a problem on her hands. She forgot her sunglasses and the truth of her drug addiction was burning in her red eyes and dilated pupils. Regardless, Kagami kept stumbling forward until her family spotted her.
Miki wasted no time in rushing over to Kagami and she hugged her tight. "Oh Kagami! We were robbed! Our family heirlooms! They're all gone!"
As Miki continued to vent her mental anguish, Kagami remained unresponsive until she vocalized her only words of comfort to her mother. "Let me go damn you."
Miki's watery eyes shot open and she quickly pushed Kagami back while holding onto her shoulders. "What did you just say to me?!"
Kagami did her best to keep her eyes averted. "I said let me go. Dig the shit out of your ears, mom."
Miki was ready to slap her daughter but something suddenly stopped her. For the first time, she was able to look into Kagami's eyes and she saw a sight that deeply disturbed her. Her daughter's eyes were riddled with blood-shot veins, dilated pupils, her speech was slurred and a bit of drool was leaking out the side of Kagami's mouth. She was also unresponsive to both Miki's anguish and anger.
Kagami wedged free of her mother and kept walking forward. She brushed past her father and her oldest sister without a care and approached Tsukasa.
"Sis, what happened? I thought you were going to wait for me. I called Kona-chan and she's worried about you. Where were you?" Tsukasa asked with haste.
Kagami ignored her and to everyone's shock, Kagami placed her hand on Tsukasa's shoulder and harshly pushed her aside, nearly knocking her off her feet. Tsukasa was frightened by the gesture as everyone gasped and rushed to make sure she was okay as Kagami made her way to the front door. It added to their fright when the twin-tailed girl collided with the closed door and stood in front of it for several seconds until her brain remembered how to open it. She turned the knob and opened it, entered, and slammed it shut without saying another word.
As Miki held Tsukasa, she squinted at the door where Kagami disappeared behind. Her mother's intuition began to put this destructive puzzle together.
Those eyes…it couldn't be…could it?