A/N: Hello? Is anyone still out there? (hears crickets chirping) Oh, okay. Well I've FINALLY gotten around to updating this story. I have been working on and agonizing over this chapter for two months. TWO MONTHS! Not only has it been hard for me to switch back to the tone of this one after writing my other story for so long, but so much time has passed (sorry) since I've written for this, I almost forgot which direction I was trying to take in wrapping this up. So to the three people who are probably still reading this story, I hope you like it. As always, read, review, follow, favorite and enjoy.
...
Eight Years Ago
"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Paige. Happy birthday to you."
The small gathering holds their collective breaths as Paige determines what she's going to wish for. She thinks for but only a moment before her face lights up with an epiphany. Satisfied with her choice, she swiftly blows out the eleven candles glowing in front of her. Everyone cheers as Mrs. Fields proceeds to cut the cake. Everyone in attendance has a slice, before they open the presents.
After all the gifts have been opened and 'wowed' over, Nick McCullers sees out the last of his guests. He gives Wayne Fields a firm handshake and a pat on the shoulder. He then pulls Pam into a friendly hug.
"Thank you. I wouldn't have been able to pull this off with out you," he says.
"It was my pleasure Nick," Pam assures.
"I've never been good at this sort of thing. Birthdays were always Joyce's arena. I just wanted it to be special for her," he chokes.
Pam leans back in to hug Nick again.
"I told you Nick, Wayne and I are more than happy to help in whatever capacity you need."
Paige silently witnesses the exchange between the adults from around the corner. Emily comes bounding down the stairs. Her movements slow when Paige motions for her to be quiet.
"What's going on?" Emily whispers.
"I think my dad is crying," Paige answers sadly.
Emily stands close to her friend. She takes Paige's hand in hers to offer some comfort. They quietly watch the adults, Paige getting increasingly more sullen. Emily tries to think of something to brighten her mood.
"Hey you never told me what you wished for," Emily says.
"You're not supposed to tell or it won't come true."
"C'mon Paige, we're best friends. We have to tell each other everything," Emily counters.
"I wished that I would get to spend every one of my birthdays with you."
"You shouldn't have wasted your wish on that. I'm never going to leave your side," Emily says confidently.
"You're not?"
"Of course not silly. My mom always says that you stick by the people you love," Emily explains.
"Promise?" Paige asks hopefully.
"Promise."
...
Present Day
Emily Fields, Olympic Swimmer. I must say it has a ring to it. Nothing is official yet, but the prospect looks good. They have invited me to train with the rest of the team this summer in Ann Arbor. I've ramped up my workouts and gone back to doing my morning runs. With the semester winding to an end, it's made life rather hectic. I've been grateful for the pace. Between training and studying, I haven't had any time for my mind to wander. It took me so long to finally collect myself enough that I wasn't constantly crying. My life has been in a downward spiral for a couple of weeks now and if it hadn't been for the news of being a candidate for the team, it would still probably be heading in that direction. I remember when I received the phone call. I was so excited. My first instinct was to tell Paige. I was half way through dialing her number when I remember that I broke up with her. Then I remembered the reason for the separation and I got extremely depressed. I can't believe she would lie to me. Not just lie to me once, but continuously keep up the deception. I thought she really loved me. I thought I had found my one. I felt so free when I was with her. When I looked in the mirror, I final saw the real Emily Fields. Then I had to find out that she had been lying to me. And from Alison of all people. To say that I've been distraught since our separation would be putting it lightly. I've been a complete and utter mess.
I've been running for the last hour and I can feel my energy starting to wain. I push myself harder, determined to beat my time from yesterday. I concentrate on my breathing and try to steer my thoughts away from Paige. It doesn't help that I've been running our trails everyday. I think subconsciously I hope that I run into her. I'm trying to move on, but it's like almost ever aspect of my life keeps reminding me of her. I was awoken in the middle of the night by the sound of an alert going off on my phone. It was notifying me that Paige's birthday was two weeks away. Not that I needed to be reminded. Paige and I have spent every birthday together since her eleventh. Every year we try to out do each other in the magnificence of the gifts we give each other. This year was going to be exceptional special. It was going to be our first celebration as a couple. I planned this elaborate surprise, hence the reminder set for two weeks ahead of time. I turned off the alarm and tried to go back to sleep. I was restless for an hour before slumber finally took over. When it did, all I was able to do was dream of Paige. So when I woke up this morning, I was determined to run as far away from my thoughts of her as possible.
After another thirty minutes of self inflicted torture, I return to the dorms exhausted. I drag into my room to collect my things to take a shower. I falter a second when I see Hanna perched on my bed. She has either a perturbed or irritated look on her face. I can't really tell with half of her hair in the way. I smile at her and she returns the gesture, but it's far less enthusiastic than my own. I only need one guess to know what has happened to upset her while I've been gone.
"How was your run this morning?" she asks.
"Good. I almost beat my time."
"That's nice. Did you manage to outrun your demons as well?" she inquires.
"Hanna," I reprimand.
"What? I just want to know how long you're going to exercises as a way of coping with your feelings instead of, I don't know, maybe coping with your feelings."
"Hanna can we do this another time? I'm running late," I say.
I grab my things to shower and head towards the door.
"Paige stopped by this morning. Again," she says.
I stop my progress and turn to look at her.
"You know I'd really appreciate if you would just talk to her. She has no respect for my sleeping schedule," Hanna grumbles.
"So that's why you have an attitude this morning? Because you didn't get your requisite twelve hours sleep," I retort.
"No I have an attitude because I'm tired of being caught in between my friends. I love you Em and I know that you feel you have been done wrong,"
"Utterly betrayed would be a more appropriate description," I interrupt.
"But enough is enough. Emily, do you know how hard it is to look at Paige when she gives me those sad puppy dog eyes and I have to tell her I don't know where you are or what's going on?"
"I'm sorry for putting you in such an awkward position. I'm a horrible friend," I say sarcastically.
I make an exaggerated show of continuing to leave.
"Em stop being so damn dramatic and sit down will you," Hanna says.
I huff and plop down next to her on my bed.
"What I'm trying to tell you is that Paige is sorry. I mean really sorry. You know I'm a very good judge of character."
"Yes you are," I agree.
"And I can tell when someone is bullshitting me. Paige is nothing less than sincere in her regret over the situation. The least you can do is allow the woman to explain. Don't make any rash decisions until then please?" Hanna begs.
"I don't know," I say.
"Oh for the love of all that is good and holy. If she has done the unforgivable, will you at the very least tell her that much. Put her out of her misery so we can all move on with our lives. Cause believe it or not, this is effecting everyone who loves and cares about you two."
I know Hanna is right. It's not only her, but Spencer and even Naya have all been casualties of this riff between us. It's funny I hadn't even recognized the little harmonious family we had built around us until there was a disruption.
I trudge to the bathrooms, mulling over all of the things Hanna said. The sensible part of me knows that I'm being a tad unreasonable. It's a shame that I can't get that part of me to make the irrational, highly emotional side of me to see sense. I want to forgive Paige. Really I do. I just can't help but feel like if I forgive this indiscretion, what kind of tone will it be setting for the future of our relationship? How far will Paige push the boundaries if she knows all she has to do is sing me a song and apologize? I let Ben practically get away with murder for the entirety of our relationship. No matter how much I love Paige, I refuse to play that roll again.
...
"Paige asked me about you the other day," Naya mentions casually.
I look up from the magazine I'm reading to regard her. She's trying to find the perfect outfit to wear for this important dinner meeting she's attending. I promised I'd help her out but I can't seem to focus on much of anything at the moment.
"Oh," I reply.
"Oh? That's it? You're not going to ask how she's doing?" Naya questions.
The mere fact that Paige is openly asking her about me is proof of how desperate she is. I know it as well as Naya does.
"How is she doing?" I ask.
"She's freaking miserable, that's how she's doing. Could you please put the poor woman out of her misery and just talk to her."
"I have nothing to say to her and I don't want to hear anything she has to say," I reply.
"Cut the crap Em. Seriously," Naya gruffs.
I'm kind of taken aback by her tone. I don't think she's ever spoken to me so forcefully.
"I know you're hurt and you have every right to be, but hasn't this gone on for long enough?" she asks.
The night I found out about Paige's deceit, I was an emotional wreck. I ran back to my place and hopped in my car. I didn't have a clue where I was going, but I knew I needed to get away and fast. I sat in the driver's seat and couldn't even get the key in the ignition. The reality of what had just happened hit me like a ton of bricks and all I could do was cry. I don't know how long I was in my car before Naya happened upon me. She tapped on the window and instantly saw how completely unglued I was. She hopped in the passenger's seat and I bared my soul to her. I told her about Paige knowing about Alison and Ben. How I felt so hurt and betrayed. How never in a million years would I ever imagine Paige to do something think this. She didn't say a word. She just wiped my eyes and let me vent.
Ever since that day, she's become a sounding board of sorts. Through it all, surprisingly, Naya has been an amazing support. I was kind of wary at first, sharing my pain and anguish over Paige with her. I know how she feels about me. Even though she says those feelings have passed, every once in awhile in I see her with this far away look in her eye. Still and all, she's been the one I've turned to when I need to cope. I already feel bad enough having Hanna run interference for me. I didn't want to dump all of my inner turmoil on her as well. That and Hanna is extremely fond of Paige. When I talk with Naya, I feel like I'm getting an unbiased opinion for the most part.
"You know what, I'm tired of you and Hanna and everyone else voicing their opinion on how they think I should feel and what they think I should be doing."
I hop up and start to pace.
"Em stop pacing for a second and listen to me," Naya says calmly.
I stop with a huff and fold my arms across my chest.
"Nobody is trying to discount your feelings, but I think you're letting your anger cloud your better judgement. I haven't know Paige that long, but what I do know is that she's a stand up kind of woman. Especially when it comes to anything remotely involving you."
"You sound like Hanna," I grumble.
"I always knew that Hanna was a smart girl."
I'm not amused in the least with Naya's response and she knows it. I glare at her and she returns my stare unfazed.
"Em I don't know if you're aware or not, but our band has been offered a chance to go on tour this summer," she starts.
"Yes I'm aware. Isn't that why I'm here? To help you pick an outfit for the dinner to discuss said tour," I say cattily.
"Ok smart ass. I was trying to be gentle, but I'm just going to give it to you straight. Do you know what one of the perks of going on tour is?"
"What?" I ask.
"Groupies. Young, impressionable, attractive groupies willing to do anything to be down with the band."
I roll my eyes, not really liking where this is going.
"And Paige is decidedly single at the present moment. Even though it pains me to say this, and I'll never admit it to her face, but Paige is hot shit. I'd totally do her, if she was my type and not hopelessly in love with you."
"If she's so hopelessly in love with me, then I shouldn't have to worry about groupies," I say confidently.
"You would think that, but grief is a funny thing. A person might do something far outside of their character to cope. One can only take so much reject before they look elsewhere for comfort. Ask yourself, are you really willing to take that chance?"
I flop back on Naya's bed and sulk. She turns back to her closet, sure that she has gotten her point across. She has been on a mission to get me back together with Paige. She's been trying to convince me that Paige wasn't being malevolent, that she was just placed in an unbelievably hard situation. She also told me how much Paige has been hurting over this. Naya is even the one who orchestrated me being at their mini showcase. I ask her what she gets out of the two of us reuniting. She claims that she just wants her band to be at optimal performance and that they can't accomplish that with Paige moping around. I think she's doing it because she honestly cares, not only about me, but about Paige as well. She really does have a good heart.
I sit on her bed for a very long time trying to get to the root of what I really feel. I had told myself that I know Paige really does love me and I know that her intentions were not to cause me pain. I'm just having a hard time getting over this. I'm sure that in the grand scale of things, her indiscretion is probably minor. Had it happened a year from now, I probably would've gotten upset, but quickly moved past it. It's just that it's still too soon after everything that happened with Ben. I would like to think that I've healed nicely, but the minute Ali's words hit my ears, it was like the scab was torn off. I feel like my emotional wound is seeping out and I don't know how to stop the bleeding. Even though I don't want to admit it, Hannna and Naya are right in respect to what this is doing to all of our friends. It's not fair for me to subject all of them to the tenseness of this uncomfortable situation. Most of all, it's unfair for me to leave Paige wondering. We both have too much going on to be in state of limbo as far as our relationship is concerned. I finish helping Naya with her wardrobe decisions with a new determination about me. Paige and I are going to settle this. Immediately.
...
I spend the entirety of my American Lit. class the next day half paying attention. My mind is focused on the conversation I intend on having with Paige. I keep going over and over what happened. Did Paige hurt me deeply? Yes, but in the grand scheme of things were her actions really that egregious? Paige has always been selfless and caring. Even more so in regards to me. When I really search myself, I know I don't want to be without Paige. I believed her when she told me I was her forever love and I want to share that future with her. We'll never get to our happily ever after if I flake at the first sign of a bump in the road.
I make a beeline for the door as soon as class is over. I can't seem to get to her place fast enough. I knock on the door to her apartment, ready to tell her just that. I still have my key, but I dont feel like I have the right to use it anymore. I wait a few moments before I knock again, my anxiousness causing me to be impatient. I'm two seconds from knocking one more time, when an agitated Spencer answers the door.
"Emily," she says.
"Hey Spencer is Paige home?" I ask.
"I've been fine Emily and how have you been," she deadpans.
"Im sorry Spencer. It's good to see you. I hope all is well."
My intent wasn't to be rude, but I needed to see Paige before I lost my nerve.
"To answer your previous question, Paige isn't here. You're free to wait around if you'd like. I was just about to head out," she offers.
"Okay thanks, I think I'll do that."
I sit on the sofa as I hear the door close behind me. It feels strangely different sitting in Paige's apartment alone. I had been in this exact position many of times before without even giving it a second thought. It's funny how you take for granted the little things.
I wait in the living room for as long as I can before I start to feel uncomfortable. I start to wander around, trying to keep myself occupied in the mean time. My wandering leads me to Paige's bedroom. It seems like it's been an eternity since I've been here. Has it really only been a few weeks? It looks exactly the same as the last time I saw it, yet it feels like unexplored territory. I hesitantly step in and look around. I spy her Econ book, opened and faced down on the desk. I can imagine her hunched over it in frustration, but determined to grasp the concepts none the less. I can tell that she isn't herself by the clothes scattered about the floor and the unmade bed. No matter how busy or how much of a rush she was in, she always managed to make her bed and put everything in its proper place.
I venture closer to the bed and sit down. I run my fingers over the comforter a few times before I lay down. As my head hits her pillow, I inhale deeply. The faint smell of her shampoo is still present. I put my hands under the pillow, desperate to clutch it closer. My hand brushes something hard and I pull out a picture frame. In it is a picture of Paige and I together. I touch it gently as a few tears trickle down my cheek. Just knowing that she's been sleeping with this photo, probably every night, caused my heart to lurch. I stand up quickly in an effort to maintain my composure. The last thing I want to do is be a babbling mess when she gets here.
I head back to the living room, but not before stopping in the kitchen to pour myself a glass of juice. I'm half way through my drink when I hear a key rattling the lock. I set my glass down and stand, waiting for Paige to enter.
"Emily," she says, more than a little stunned to see me.
"Hey," I say.
I give her a hesitant smile which falters when I see Shana standing behind her. Shana takes in my look of displeasure, and for once, decides to steer clear of a confrontation with me.
"Paige I'm going to go. I'll call you later," Shana says.
Paige waits until the door is finally closed before turning her attention back to me.
"Emily what are you doing here?" she asks.
"Spencer let me in. What are you doing with Shana?" I blurt out.
Stupid Emily. Just stupid. I had a million things planned on what I would say to Paige when I had the chance, but instead I let my jealousy get the better of me.
"I don't think that's any of your business anymore. You broke up with me remember?"
"Well you didn't waste any time getting back in the game," I spit back.
"Not that it's any of your concern, but we're just friends. She was helping me study."
"If you say so," I mumble.
"Again, why are you here?" Paige asks, clearly aggravated.
"Because I need to talk to you."
"Well you should have called first," she says.
"It couldn't wait. I need to see you immediately."
"Oh so now that you're ready I'm supposed to drop everything and be a captive audience?" she says incredulously.
"Paige."
"No Emily. I've been trying to talk to you for weeks. Weeks! You haven't returned any of my attempts to contact you. You've been avoiding me at all cost. Hell you even dragged our friends into this mess. I get that I fucked up, really I do. But the way you've been acting is not how you treat someone you love."
Her voice is starting to rise. I can count on one hand how many times I've ever seen her this angry. The bravery I had built up on the way over is slowly starting to fade. My eyes are all over the place, too ashamed to make direct contact with her.
"I know that. That's the reason I'm here. To tell you that I'm sorry," I murmur.
"To be quite honest with you Emily, an apology isn't going to fix this. You have wounded me so deeply. I thought what we had was strong enough to withstand anything. I'm going to need something more substantial to assure me that you won't run the next time things get tough."
I'm stunned at Paige's reaction. I manage to bring my eyes to hers and that's when I see it. All that rage is a thin disguise for how much she's suffering. It isn't until that moment that I understand how much I've messes things up.
"I think you should go. I have an important meeting I have to get ready for," she says.
She doesn't wait for me to answer. She heads to her bedroom and shuts the door, signaling that our discussion is over. I sigh defeated. I leave, but not before I scribble her a quick note and stick it on the fridge.
...
After my unproductive conversation with Paige, I'm feeling more than a little discouraged. I didn't assume that we were going to resolve everything in one conversation, but I wasn't expecting an outright rejection either. Paige's words hit me hard. Especially her telling me that I wasn't acting like someone who loved her. I need to reconcile that as soon as possible. I should have just talked to her the night after I heard her perform. She was so open and vulnerable and for the first time since this all happened, I really believed the things she was telling me. Then Naya came along and interrupted us and I took it as a sign to wait it out a little longer. An indication not to make such a vital decision when I was so emotional. Now I see that I let it go for too long. I might have lost her forever because of my own insecurities. My sense of urgency is spurred on by the seconds ticking away on how much time I have left. The only problem is, I don't even know where to start.
Usually at times like this, I would confide in my mother. She was always my first source for guidance whenever I was feeling lost and downtrodden. She would bake me some cookies. Give me some wisdom. Reassure me that things would be okay. Most importantly she would let me know that whether I made the right or wrong decision, she would love and support me either way.
I sigh at the thought of another one of my relationships that has fallen by the wayside. Things haven't really recovered between us since Thanksgiving. We still talk every other week, but not the deep, meaningful conversations we used to have. More of a 'checking up on you to make sure your still alive because we are mother/ daughter' type of thing. All in all, she is still my mother and I'm willing to bet that she would be there for me if she knew I needed her. I make up in my mind right then and there that a trip home this weekend is just what I need.
I check my schedule to make sure that I can swing it. If I email my professor right now and bring my books home with me, I should be able to swing missing the next few days of classes. I quickly head to my room and haphazardly throw some things in a duffel bag. I text Hanna to let her know where I'll be and head to my car. If I hurry, I can be back in Rosewood just in time for dinner.
...
"Mom I'm home," I call out into the house.
I set my bags down and go in search of my mother. I know she's here because I can smell food cooking. I finally find her in the kitchen.
"Hello Emily," she says.
She just kind of looks me over. She doesn't rush to hug me or fawn all over me, like she usually does. My mother and I have always been close and it hurts that me being true to myself has put a strain on our relationship.
"Hi mom."
We both just kind of stand in the kitchen, unsure of what to do next. I make the decision to break the ice and I move closer to embrace her. The minute she wraps her arms around me I can feel my emotional dam break. I don't realize how hard I'm crying until she pulls back to look at me.
"Sweetheart what's wrong? You're shaking," she says.
I try to form a sentence, but no words come out. I just sob harder. My mother guides me to the living room and sits me on the sofa. I lay on her shoulder and cry for a good long while. When I feel like I'm calm enough, I attempt to speak again.
"Mom, I, can't," I hiccup.
She uses her thumbs to wipe the tears that continue to cascade down my cheek.
"Honey, I need you to calm down," she says.
I inhale and exhale slowly while she continues to hold my face in her hands, worry lacing her eyes.
"I want to talk to you about it, but I'm not sure you want to hear it," I say after a few minutes.
"Emily, you are my daughter. My first concern is always your well being. I know we've been a little distant as of late, but that's not because I love you any less."
This is what I came here for. To get some love and comfort from the one person I knew could help make it better. I chew on my lip, nervous about taking the plunge.
"Mom I know you're not okay with me being a lesbian," I start.
She bristles the moment the word 'lesbian' leaves my mouth.
"But I really need you right now," I continue.
I can see the soft look she gets on her face at the thought of her daughter in pain. The love a mother has for her child kicks in and she brushes a stray tear from my cheek.
"What's going on honey?" she asks.
"I screwed up really bad and I don't think I know how to fix it."
"Is this about a... girl?" she hesitates.
I shake my head yes. I see her take a deep breath before she speaks again.
"Tell me all about it," she says.
I spend the next fifteen minutes giving her an abbreviate version of what's been going on with me since the beginning of the school year.
"So you and Paige huh?" she asks.
I nod in the affirmative.
"I always knew the two of you had a special connection. You were so apprehensive when we told you that we were moving to a new town again. You were unsure if you'd make any friends, but you and Paige hit it off right away. Your were an unlikely pair, but forged this unbreakable bond. I remember Nick being so lost in his sorrow. Not only that, but he didn't have the slightest clue what to do with a little girl. But you came along when she needed someone the most. I don't think either one of them would have faired well without your help."
"But mom I can't even get her to talk to me. How am I supposed to fix this."
"Paige is hurting right now, but she'll come around. Be patient and listen to your heart. It'll tell you what to do."
She hugs me again and we stay like that for a long time. I know that we're a long way from her being one hundred percent with who I am, but I finally feel like we've made a step in the right direction.
"I'm going to go check on the food," she says.
She kisses both of my eyelids, just like she always did after she had managed to get me to stop crying. I smile, almost feeling like a little girl again.
"I hope that you're staying for dinner. I made my famous popovers."
...
I'm sitting on the porch swing, mug of tea in my hand, attempting to enjoy the morning. The gentle rocking motion is lulling me into a calm I haven't felt in weeks. I keep replaying the conversation I had with my mother. I'm trying to listen to my heart, but what it's trying to tell me has been alluding me at the present moment. I close my eyes hoping that it will help me to focus. I rock back and forth, willing a suitable solution to come to me. My moment of peace is interrupted when I sense I'm no longer alone. My lids flutter open and are met with the dark eyes of Ben.
"Hey," he says shyly.
He rocks on his heels on the sidewalk, waiting for an invitation. I stare at him, while I debate if I want to give him the time of day or not. After I feel is a sufficient amount of squirming, I invite him on the porch.
"How have you been?" he asks.
"Fine," I answer.
"Hey I heard you're being scouted for the Olympic team. Congratulations," he smiles.
"Thanks."
"I bet Paige is really proud of you," he says.
"Yep."
I can tell he's getting frustrated by my one word answers, but I could care less. I have no intention of making whatever he hoped to accomplish easy for him.
"It's so strange sitting on this porch with you like this," he starts.
I eye him curiously, wondering where he's going with this.
"With Paige not being here and you and I aren't," he trails off.
I know he's implying us not being together anymore.
"The three of us have been inseparable for the majority of our lives. I never thought that there would be a time that none of us was speaking to the other," he says.
I swallow and look at him closely. How does he know that Paige and I aren't speaking? He has a pensive look on his face and I wait for him to continue with his train of thought.
"Life is such a fragile thing. We tend to take the constants in our lives for granted, thinking that they'll always be around, not realizing that in the blink of an eye everything can be gone."
I have a laundry list of things that I know I certainly took for granted, his cousin being at the top of that list.
"Em ever since Aunt Joyce passed, I felt it was my duty to look after Paige. I always wanted to make sure that she was safe and that nobody messed with her."
I listen quietly, knowing that Ben is trying to make a point.
"She idolized me and somewhere along the way I exploited that. I'm ashamed of that fact and I've been working like hell to atone for my wrong doings."
He looks down at his hands for a second, and dare I say it, he actually seems to remorseful.
"You know Paige as well as I do. She can more than look after herself. Hell, she's kicked my ass on more than a few occasions," he continues.
I chuckle, having been witness to more than a few of their tussles.
"But there was one thing that she needed that she didn't really get until you came along. She was so lost without her mother. Then you came into her life and she just lit up. She's been shining brightly ever since. Over these past couple of weeks she's been dimming again. And I know it's because your not around."
"Ben, it's complicated," I offer as an explanation.
"She needs you Em. You're the only one who can touch that part of her that she keeps hidden away."
"I've tried Ben, but I don't think she trust me anymore. She doesn't even want to talk to me," I mumble.
"Then keep trying. I know how fragile a thing trust is. It takes forever to gain but only seconds to lose. I'm willing to take the blame for my part in regards to the trust issues the two of you have. Please don't hold my mistakes against her. You know who Paige is just as much as she knows who you are. You two have built up a lifetime worth of trust. Don't throw that away."
"Okay," I respond.
"With that being said, I also want to tell you the other thing I came over here to say."
"Which is?" I inquire.
"I want to apologize Em. I know I've told you I'm sorry before, but I sincerely mean it this time. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I want you to know that not a day goes by that I don't regret what I did."
I nod my head, letting him know that I heard him. I wasn't yet ready to offer my words of absolution, but I do appreciate the sincerity of his regretfulness.
"Well, I'll leave you be. And I know it's hard right now, but don't give up on Paige. We have to stick by the people we love."
He turns and makes his way down from where he came. I watch his retreating back, slightly reeling over the words he just said. Unknowing to him, Ben just let me know what it was that I needed to do.
"Ben," I call after him.
"Yeah?" he says over his shoulder.
"Thanks.
"Anytime," he smiles.
I whip out my phone to shoot off a quick text. I have a lot to do and little time to get it done.
'Hey Spencer I need your help with something'
...
A/N: and before I forget, I done went and got myself a tumblr account (ladybug0327). There's not a lot up there yet. I'm stilling working on navigating the whole thing.