Jack's hand was shaking a little as it gripped Rachel's. He squinted and frowned.
"What exactly am I looking at?"
Dr. Howard smiled as he tapped the small, light shape in the dark area of the screen, which was surrounded by more light areas. It was all fuzzy; part of the reason Jack was having difficulty. "Right there."
He gave Rachel a worried look as she beamed at him. "And . . . what is it?"
"That's the baby, Jack."
That made Jack tilted his head back in surprise, then he leaned forward to get a closer look at the ultrasound. "It doesn't look like a baby. Are you sure?"
"Jack, he's a doctor," Rachel laughed, kissing the back of his hand. "Of course he's sure. That's our baby, Jack."
He looked mortified, and his palm was getting a little sweaty. "Uh . . . how big is it?"
"About half the size of a baby pea," Howard replied.
"So . . . what's it doing? Just floating there?"
"Not quite," the other man laughed. "The heart should have started beating by now, but you won't be able to hear it for a while. Let me see, though . . ." He fiddled with his instruments and the image on the screen changed, zoomed in a little and the angle tilted. Jack's grip tightened and Rachel winced a little. "And . . ." New data popped up at the bottom of the screen, and Dr. Howard smiled in satisfaction. "There. See that little flutter?"
"Yeah," Jack said warily. He reached out and stroked Rachel's hair, bringing her hand to his lips. "What is it now?"
"That's the heart beating." Jack's eyes bugged out as Rachel looked up at him, and he swallowed sharply as his grip on her hand tightened once more. "The inner ear's formed already, so it might be able to hear you, too. Everything looks fine so far; is your clothing getting a little tight yet?"
"A little bit," Rachel admitted as Jack looked between her stomach and the screen. "Are you okay, Jack?"
He pointed at the ultrasound as he looked at her. "That . . . that's mine." He swallowed again and licked his lips before turning his finger to her stomach. "And it's in there."
"Yes," Rachel laughed as she nodded, "yes, it is. That's your baby, Jack. Look at what you made." He did look --- he looked long and hard and then he leaned up and pressed his ear to Rachel's stomach gently. She could feel his scars against her skin as he started to smile.
"Hey, in there," he murmured against her skin. The doctor took the hint and left quietly, giving them time together. "Hey, you. Yeah, you. In the belly. Whatcha up to these days, other than making Rachel not want to have sex? She's substituting grapefruit for it, and she usually hates grapefruit. Is that your fault? I bet it is." Rachel was laughing, and he pressed a kiss to her stomach. "You're grounded when you're old enough. You won't know when, you won't know where, but at some point, I'm going to ground you and you won't know why, but it'll be because you denied me sex. Just you wait."
Rachel ran her fingers through Jack's hair for a while before Dr. Howard came back in. "Any questions? Jack?"
He sat up and cleared his throat. "Yeah, uh . . . how safe is it to, uhm . . ."
"Have sex?" Dr. Howard shrugged. "It's perfectly safe right now. If everything goes well, you can have sex until Rachel goes into labour. Your main focus needs to be on her comfort, though, and Rachel, if you start to feel actual pain during intercourse, or you notice any bleeding, stop right away and come in as soon as possible. But as long as you're both careful, it won't be a problem."
"What Jack means is when will I start feeling better and want to have sex?" Rachel clarified as Jack frowned. He hated talking about their sex life with strangers. Or anyone, really, no matter how much he teased about it.
"Oh, the morning sickness will go away in a couple of months."
"Months?" Jack repeated. "A couple of months?"
"Yes. The body goes through a lot of changes in the first trimester; all of them, actually, but particularly in the first. Rachel's had to prepare for the baby, a whole lot of hormones have started that weren't there before . . ." He'd lost Jack and sighed. "Could you work twenty-four hours in a row of hard labour and then have the energy to do anything other than eat and sleep?"
"Uh . . . no."
"Well, that's what Rachel's body is doing, except it doesn't get a break. There are other activities you can enjoy without actual intercourse."
"I got it, I got it," Jack interrupted. "So . . . six weeks, huh?"
"And two days. That's dated from the last menstrual period; the foetus itself is only four weeks old. Congratulations, Rachel, you've actually been pregnant for an entire month."
"I'm hungry," was all she could think to say.
Dr. Howard laughed. "I bet you are. Go ahead and get dressed; if you don't have any other questions, we're done." He left again after saying his goodbyes.
Jack was hovering over her as Rachel got dressed. She sighed. "I'm not going to break, you know."
"But . . ." He placed his palm on her lower abdomen yet again and Rachel smiled as she pulled her skirt up. It settled low on her hips, but the t-shirt of Jack's that she'd put on ensured that her stomach was out of sight. "It was a grain of rice last week."
Her green eyes danced with laughter as Rachel kissed Jack. "Yes, it was."
"If you keep using food to illustrate the size, I'm eventually going to stop eating."
They were heading right to Tom and Helna's for dinner. Rachel had to force herself to not stop at the deli for a quick sandwich. "Well, rice was the only thing I had handy to show you." She squeezed his hand and smiled at him as he drove. Technically he wasn't supposed to, but Hideki was working on Judge Bowen, and it shouldn't be long before he could get a license again. "Are you sure you're okay, Jack?"
"Yeah," he nodded, "I'm all right. I'm just . . . yeah. I'm good."
For now. He'd had to revise a few things, but the more he thought about it, the more he felt confident that this baby would be good in the coming months. It gave him more of a steady base to work from, if he could keep Rachel safe that long. If, if, maybe, if . . .
His worries didn't stop him from bounding into the living room and swooping Mitzi out of the playpen she was laying in, though.
"Mitzi-thing!" he crowed as Rachel hugged Helna and whispered in her ear. "Now, look, ugly, we've got to talk, all right?" Jack brought her over to her parents and Rachel. "You know you're my main lady, but see, you've got some competition coming your way in a few months. I expect it will be a long, bloody, drawn-out fight and I'm confident you won't hold back in the slightest. But I have to root for the other side, too, understand?"
"What is he babbling about now?" Tom asked.
Rachel and Helna were laughing. "Sorry to keep you out of the loop for so long, Tom, but you see ---"
"All hail faulty birth control!" Jack chortled as Mitzi giggled.
"Excuse me?" Tom crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the man.
"Yeah, seems Rachel was so stressed about me not wanting kids that it cancelled out her birth control. Ironic, isn't it? She gets knocked up 'cause I don't want her to?"
Tom turned to Rachel with wide eyes. "You're pregnant?!"
"Six weeks and two days," she replied as Jack knelt down to introduce Mitzi to her stomach.
"This is the competition. Get to know it well. It's small right now, but it will grow, and has the advantage of being near me much more than you are, ugly."
Rachel sighed and rubbed the top of Jack's head. "Can I sit down yet?"
Jack stood right back up and led her to the couch. "Sit, sit! Put your feet up."
He managed to get Rachel seated, pull a throw over her lap, get her feet on the footstool, and keep Mitzi balanced and content on his shoulder the whole time. Rachel was laughing at him, and Tom stared.
"So . . . where did you learn to do that?"
"Do what?" Jack asked over his shoulder.
"That. Juggle a baby and a pregnant wife so well."
He snorted. "Nothing to it. I'm good at multi-tasking."
Tom just smiled and shook his head.
***
Jack's fingers tiptoed across her shoulder and down the swell of her breast, and Rachel rolled her shoulder back to get him off of her.
"Jack, please . . . it hurts . . . I'm exhausted . . ." His disappointed sigh was audible in the quiet of the bedroom and Jack pulled away, rolling over. Rachel echoed his sigh and looked over her shoulder. He was laying on his back, the covers around his waist as he stared up at the ceiling with a scowl. "I'm sorry, Jack."
"It's all right. I've got a hand for a reason."
"I'll make it up to you. I promise."
He snorted softly as his scowl slowly disappeared. "You'd better. Two more months of this, Rachel?"
She rolled over and curled up against him, glad when he wrapped his arm around her. "I was fine last night, Jack. Just be a little patient." She yawned as he snorted. "Helna said that when she got to the second trimester, she and Tom were at it like bunnies."
He snorted. "Bunnies, huh?"
Another yawn as she snuggled closer. "Yeah . . . increased blood flow . . . to the pelvic region . . . helps . . ."
He turned slightly to wrap both arms around her and kissed her forehead. "All right, I'll be patient, but only as long as it's exactly like bunnies. I mean long ears and wiggling nose and fluffy tail. Bunnies."
Rachel was half-asleep. She nodded and kissed his shoulder. "Okay . . . bunnies . . ."
Jack's laughter was the last thing she remembered.
***
Rachel was in tears and Jack was ready to hit the wall. She cried when he tried to comfort her, wailed when he tried to leave her alone, and it was all over the way her stupid pants fit. They made her feel 'fat,' she'd sobbed. They didn't fit 'right.' And now she was ugly and he didn't love her any more because he hadn't touched her all week, because she was fat and ugly. It certainly wasn't because she hadn't let him touch her, oh no, it was all his fault.
So Rachel sobbed on the bed as Jack sat in the doorway and leaned back against the frame, staring up at the ceiling as he tried his very best not to yell.
"Rachel," he tried quietly.
"Shut up!" she screamed into her pillow.
He rolled his eyes and crawled over to the night stand when her phone went off. 'Mommy,' the front read. Oh, thank the God he didn't believe in. Jack flipped her phone open and turned the speaker phone on as she moaned, and then made a face at her.
"Bethany, I love you. Talk some sense into this woman before I go crazy."
Bethany laughed. "Hello to you, too, Jack. What's wrong?"
"He hates me!" Rachel yelled.
Jack winced. "I do not hate you, woman! Bethany, talk to her. She's out of her mind."
He passed the phone to Rachel, who jerked it out of his grasp and cradled it to her ear. "M, Mommy?"
"Yes, sweety, I'm here. What's going on?"
"Jack hates me because I'm fat and ugly and he won't have sex with me, either!"
"You won't let me!" he exclaimed in frustration, throwing his hands in the air.
"Rachel, listen to me. Why do you think he thinks you're ugly?"
"Because my pants don't fit me right any more!" Rachel whimpered as she wiped at her eyes. Her mother would understand how cruel Jack was being.
Her mother was also trying not to laugh. "Why don't they fit, Rachel?"
"Because," her daughter replied petulantly as she slid on to the floor and cuddled up to Jack. He tensed and leaned away until he realised that she was actually letting him touch her, then hesitantly put his arm around her shoulder as she mumbled something into the phone.
"I'm sorry? What did you say, Rachel?"
"Because I'm pregnant," Rachel said louder.
Now Bethany did start laughing, but she hurried to reassure Rachel before the younger woman freaked out again. "Oh! Oh, you're pregnant?! Oh, Rachel, sweety! Jack still loves you, Rachel, it's just the hormones! You're just moody right now."
"I am?" Rachel asked.
"Yes," Jack said firmly as he frowned at her. He hated it when Rachel got moody; his own emotional instability he could handle, but no one else's.
"Yes, you are. How far along are you? When were you going to tell me?"
"Ten weeks," was the sniffled answer. "And . . . in a couple more weeks."
Now Rachel was sulking, but at least she wasn't pushing Jack away. He hugged her tightly, kissing her neck and cheek. This wasn't the first breakdown she'd had. The last one had sent him running out of the house, cursing sexual reproduction to hell. Of course, as soon as Rachel had started yelling for him to come back, he'd turned and run right back inside. To say that Jack was under a lot of stress was an understatement, and his only consolation was that the murders had finally stopped for the time being, which meant that he could concentrate on not waking up with a knife in his chest when he accidentally pulled the covers too far off of Rachel in the night.
He ignored the rest of the conversation; it was only Bethany gushing about being a grandmother (finally) and advising Rachel on what she should be doing, which included being a lot more patient with Jack.
"He's only a first-time dad, after all," the elder Dawes reasoned with her offspring. "And he's a man. You can't blame him for making mistakes!"
"It's his fault I'm like this," Rachel grouched. Jack opened his mouth to protest but thought better of it, rolling his eyes instead.
"It takes two, Rachel. Now, why don't you go freshen up, and I'm sure Jack will make you some breakfast."
"I always make breakfast," he said plaintively.
"I want hot dogs," Rachel said, then tears started to fall again. "And I'm a vegetarian!"
"You just get ready for work and let me talk to the new daddy, okay, Rachel?"
"Okay . . . I love you, Mom."
"I love you, too, sweety. I'm so happy for you!"
Jack took the phone and turned the speaker off as he stood and helped Rachel up. "Bethany?"
Her voice was warm and most importantly, sane. "How are you holding up, daddy?"
Jack clambered down the stairs. "Oh, I'm, well, you know . . ." Then he was in the kitchen and kicked the wall. "I am going out of my mind, Bethany! That woman is crazy, and I know crazy!"
His mother-in-law was laughing. "She's pregnant, Jack. You haven't seen the worst of it."
He groaned and started to make breakfast as Rachel yelled down the stairs what she wanted, changing her mind five times as he ignored her. "Make it stop, please, make it stop. I can't do a damned thing right. If I try to touch her, she's not feeling well. If I don't try to touch her, suddenly I hate her and she's ugly and fat. She wants eight billion different foods to eat and half of them aren't even in season right now! She can barely sleep, cries at the slightest thing, and I've put on three pounds, I swear I have."
Bethany started laughing again. "Yep, that sounds normal."
"Even me gaining weight?"
"Completely. She should start to feel better in a week or so, though. Just remember that it's all your fault, you're completely wrong, and you swear you'll never do it again. Oh, and she's the most beautiful, amazing, gorgeous woman on the planet and of course you still love her, and no, she's not ugly, being pregnant makes her glow with radiance. Are you taking notes?"
"Mind like a steel trap," he confirmed. "Crap, Bethie, I can't handle much more of this. I mean, it gets better, right?"
"Of course it does. Just in time for waking up four times a night to feed the baby." Her voice was far too cheerful. "Have you been to the doctor yet? How'd you find out?"
"Uh, yeah, we're going in for her second appointment during her lunch today." He leaned back against the counter as Rory sauntered through and gave him a flat-eared, unimpressed look. "Man, though . . . I woke up this morning and looked at her and I can see it now. I mean, I can see that she's getting bigger. She's all . . . round, you know? Just a little." He was grinning, but it faded. "And then she noticed it when she put her pants on and flipped."
Bethany was hooting with laughter. "I bet she did. I was a little farther along with Rachel before I started getting excited about it. Give it a couple more weeks, Jack. Sooner, if you get another ultrasound today. I think she'll calm down if she can see the baby."
"Oh, yeah! Yeah! It's . . . how big is it . . . it's about the size of a lime, or a prune," he told her, his own excitement bubbling up. "Heh, I've got myself a little lime. Come to think of it, if her uterus is about the size of a grapefruit . . . those are about the size of a coconut, aren't they?"
They were both laughing as Jack started singing the song, then Rachel called him from upstairs. "Jack . . . I need your help . . ."
"I've gotta go, Bethie. Thanks, though. You're a lifesaver."
"It's no problem; tell Rachel to call me after her appointment, all right? And hang in there."
"Yeah, sure. Bye." He hung up and went to the foot of the stairs, looking up at Rachel. "What is it, gorgeous?"
She looked down at him, then at her feet. "I . . . what if I trip and fall?"
Great. She wanted a piggy-back ride down the stairs. Jack sighed as he walked up them. "Well, I won't let you fall. Come here." He hoisted her on to his back and Rachel rested her cheek on his shoulder. "Look, I made those tofu eggs that you like. And grapefruit." He wanted to tell her about their lime in the coconut, but decided it would be best to wait a little. Rachel kissed his neck and he shivered as he set her down. "Hey, now, we want you to get to work on time."
"Fine," she mumbled, obediently tucking in to her breakfast as he watched over her. After a minute or so Jack turned and dished his own meal up, and couldn't help it when Rachel smiled at him.
"So . . . the baby's about the size of a lime right now, right?" he asked casually. Rachel nodded. "And your uterus is about the size of a grapefruit. Or, rather . . . a coconut."
"Well . . . yes, that's about right. Why?"
"Come on," he urged, grinning at her. "We've got a lime . . ." She blinked at him. "In a coconut . . ."
Rachel squeezed her eyes shut as she started laughing, and Jack gratefully joined her. "Oh, God . . . a lime in a coconut . . ."
Pure evil slowly rose up from the chair across from Jack, just the tips of its flame-point ears at first, then gradually more, the points on his ears giving way to cream-coloured fur, then his fat, round head with the vertical flame markings. Rory was gradually sniffing his way towards Rachel's plate, being as sneaky as he knew how.
"Hey! Psst!" Jack thumped the table and the cat took off. He rolled his eyes as he stood up. "Want some more?"
"No, I'm full. I am! You gave me three times as much as I normally eat."
"And you ought to eat more; if I have to gain weight, so do you." She'd stood up and taken her plate to the sink, and Jack wrapped his arms around her. He pressed his hands into her lower abdomen as he kissed her neck. "You've got a little pook, there," he murmured in her ear. Rachel giggled while he pinched her belly. "I love it."
"You don't have to say that to make me feel better," Rachel whispered.
He laughed and pressed his hips into her. "I'm not," she was assured as she gasped in surprise. "I really do love it."
She was late for work.
***
"And . . . there."
"Oh my God . . ." Rachel looked up at Jack as he stared at the screen. "It's so much bigger. I mean . . . it's moving, now."
It was, too. The baby was bouncing around like a Mexican jumping bean, even if it was most likely due to the pressure Dr. Howard was exerting on Rachel's uterus in various places. The small thing was still moving on its own, though, and Jack was in awe. He took his phone out and absently punched in a number.
"Hello?"
Jack laughed. "Dude, Wayne. You have no idea what I'm looking at right now."
Rachel's eyes went wide as she grabbed for the phone and failed. "Jack! Jack, don't tell him!"
"'Dude'? Since when are you a surfer, Jack? And what are you looking at? I don't have time to guess."
Jack was chortling as he avoided Rachel's grasping hands, his eyes still glued to the ultrasound screen. "Well, if you had a lime . . . and you put it in a coconut . . . and then you put them both in Rachel . . ." There was a few seconds of silence.
Then . . . "Rachel's pregnant?!"
That made Jack howl with laughter. "And it's mine, sucker! All mine!"
"Jack Dawes, you give me that phone!"
"You sonofabitch, if you hurt Rachel I'll ---"
"You'll what?" he taunted as Rachel gave up and settled back on the examining table. "Piss off, Wayne, I've gotta go. I need to watch my kid move around. Ha!" With that he hung up, still laughing. "Oh, yeah, this is gonna be fun . . ."
"I can't believe you did that, Jack! Dr. Howard, I'm so sorry . . ."
"It's all right," the older man said. "You'll be able to see what sex it is in a couple of weeks, unless you'd rather it be a surprise."
"I don't like surprises," Jack said as Dr. Howard finished what little he had left to examine. "I want to know so I can tell the Mitzi-thing. Crap, we've got to tell Hideki and Raoul, and oh, Janet and Susie will want to know . . ."
Rachel stared. A month ago he'd been against anyone knowing, and now Jack was ready to take out a front-page ad in every major city in the continental United States. He was convinced that Alaska and Hawai'i weren't states because they weren't "united" with the rest of the country.
He pulled her close for a kiss and grinned at her. "And we'll go buy you new clothes this weekend, how about? Unless you want me to make them for you."
Rachel ignored him until she'd thanked the doctor and said goodbye. "Helna said she'd give me her old maternity clothes, actually . . . but if you want, you can make me some," she hurried to assure him as Jack's smile fell a little.
It brightened again and he paused to kiss her, one hand pressing into her womb. "I'll be a good father, right?" he whispered as his headache returned. He'd been getting them more often the past week.
Rachel nodded. "You'll be a great father."
Jack held her tightly as he fought of the headache, fought to stay in control, and then sighed into her perfumed hair. "Good," he murmured. "Good."