I am so sorry for the late update. A huge thanks to anybody who is still reading this though! I love you all. For the ones who don't know it yet, I am Sketchevrywir on Deviantart. Anyways, as always please report grammar/spelling mistakes and enjoy chapter 9!
Tony did not like what he saw. He certainly did not. Loki was sitting in the corner and judging by the blood that was on the floor Tony judged Loki had reopened the wounds on his back. But that wasn't the worst of it. Loki was crying. Again. Tony sighed and walked over to the sad blue body that was the god of mischief. On his way he noticed the ripped off bandages that were spread over the floor. Bruce was not going to like this.
"Lokes...?" Tony carefully questioned. Loki flinched in response, and started sobbing even more.
Tony decided to crouch down beside the god, and then he saw the scratches. Shit. Bruce was going to kill him for this. Why did everything always go wrong at the most critical moments? He placed the soup and his bottle on the floor.
Loki's arms were full of scratches, bleeding, the red liquid soaking into Loki's hands. Small parts of skin had been completely ripped off but still clung stiffly to Loki's limbs. Tony saw how Loki was curled in on himself, and he put his hand on the god's shoulder. Loki flinched again. A few tears rolled down his cheeks and he gave a loud sob, trembling as he could not see who touched him. Tony patted Loki softly on his shoulder, carefully to avoid damaging or opening Loki's wounds and after a while Loki stopped trembling.
Tony allowed a small smile to cross his face as the god slowly lifted his head from his arms. Confused and wet eyes that did not see stared at him. Tony sighed, and settled himself in a more comfortable position to sit. He lifted his hand from Loki's shoulder.
Tony sat there like that for a moment, contemplating about what to say to the confused Norse deity. Suddenly he knew what to say. "Hey, Lokes? " He tried not to stutter or stammer. "It's okay if you don't feel..."
Tony's voice trailed off as Loki started to scratch himself at his arms again, breathing heavily as he ripped off another piece of his skin. It clung to his hands, sticky with blood and he tried to shove it off, a look of disgust on his face. When he finally managed to get it off his fingers he threw it away, as if it was something vile and poisoning.
"Lo-..." Tony's breath stocked inside his throat as the black haired god started scratching at his legs, trying to pull of more of his skin. He could feel a lump forming in his throat. Loki was disgusted of his Jotun skin, and this was his way by getting it off. By ripping it off.
"Loki! No!" Tony shouted, before realizing his mistake. His eyes widened. "No, oh god no..." He groaned out as Loki ceased his scratching, and started to weep instead.
Tony quickly tried to think of something reassuring. Anything that would stop Loki from harming himself or crying. "What have I done? Loki, don't cry, you are not doing anything wrong. It's just..."
"Damn, I can't do this..." He muttered to himself, cursing his talent for screwing things up. He sight of Loki crying one more time, before he decided hugging the god might help.
Tony leaned forward and stretched out his arms, engulfing Loki's blue body in a soft but warm embrace. Loki went rigid as if he were in shock, his eyes widening and Tony could feel Loki's pulse heighten rapidly. Loki hadn't experienced any sort of this kindness in the past few weeks, Tony guessed.
"It's okay." He whispered softly into Loki's hair. "It's okay to cry out. It's okay to call for help." Tony started stroking Loki's hair, and Loki let the tears he held in roll down.
They sat like that for a couple minutes, Loki crying and Tony softly patting the god's back and hair, until it came to Tony he still had to feed Loki.
"Loki?" He started. Loki did luckily not flinch this time. "I brought soup and water along for you. It might help to soothe your throat." He quickly explained to the god.
Loki had lifted his head by then and was sniffing the air, probably smelling the soup. He softly tugged on Tony's Black-Sabbath shirt with his bloodied hands. Tony looked at the splotches of blood that were left behind in his shirt and shrugged it off. He could always wash it out later.
Loki did not cease his tugging, and Tony guessed the god wanted to eat and drink indeed. He stood up slowly, lifting Loki up along with him. He made sure the god did not fall over. He made Loki lean on him, and walked him back towards his bed, although Tony carried Loki more than Loki walked himself. He helped Loki get into the bed, and then left to get Loki's soup.
He picked up the bottle of water and the plate, and then walked back to Loki. He sat on the bed's edge, and made sure he got Loki's attention.
"Ever had soup?" He inquired, and he held the plate in front of Loki's face so the blue god could sniff at it. Loki nodded his head after he smelled it. Tony smirked a bit. Of course, soup was a common known thing among different realms.
He placed the plate in Loki's hands, and Loki slowly lifted it to his face. Tony nearly slapped himself when Loki started to drink from the plate. He forgot to bring a spoon along! Well, it did not matter anymore for Loki had quaffed the plate already.
"Jeez. You eat fast." Tony nearly slapped himself again after he realized that Loki probably had not eaten for days. Weeks maybe. Actually he didn't want to think about that.
He handed Loki the bottle of water next. Loki did nothing first but turning it around and grasping it. "Oh." Tony said as he realized Loki did probably not know what a bottle was. Or at least a plastic bottle.
He quickly guided Loki's hands to the top of the bottle and helped Loki screw off the cap. After that Loki quickly found out how to drink from bottles. Tony smiled as Loki gulped the water. After it was empty he looked around, and held the bottle out. Tony took it as a sign that Loki wanted to give it back.
"It's okay, you can just throw it away anywhere, I'll get Dum-E to clean it up." After those words Loki dropped the bottle to the floor. It fell with a soft thud.
Tony raised from the bed and turned to Loki. "Lokes?" Loki raised his head. Tony smirked. Loki was used to his nickname already. He smirked even more when he compared that to Thor, who still wasn't used to Tony calling him point break.
"I have to go upstairs, I need to do something. It might take a while, but then in a few hours I'll be back. Is that okay?" He looked at the god of mischief. Loki nodded slowly. "Promise me you won't do anything strange, Loki." The dark haired god nodded again, although this time it he nodded hesitant, as if he didn't know whether he could keep his promise to Tony or not.
Tony took it still as a good sign and after a short goodbye to Loki he left the room. Tony should have known better.
Loki had been astonished from the moment Tony had come in and not hurt him, no, he had even protected Loki from Thor! Loki was so glad he discovered the man's name, Tony. Or Stark. Loki wasn't entirely sure what he really was called. But still Loki was glad he had found someone who was willing to protect him from Thor.
When Loki had clamped to his legs he said it was okay. The man felt more for his alcohol than he did for Loki though, but he still cared! He had been so scared in front of Thor, so scared! Loki shuddered slightly at the possible thought of Thor returning and coming in, hammer ready to-
No! Loki didn't want think about that. He was alone now.
The trickster felt the blood on his arms flow down his arms and he slightly regretted scratching himself, but he couldn't help it. How could he be in front of Thor and Tony with his Jotun skin on? Surely they would be disgusted by it. Why else would Tony have left for now.
When he woke up this morning, he felt terrible. He couldn't remember a thing from the day before, until he realized he was laying under something soft. He had felt at the material, grasping it and sniffing it, until suddenly everything came back with a burst, blowing away his wariness. Loki then realized he must have been wearing his Jotun skin, and he had cried. Cried so hard. He was a monster. And then Thor had come in, to slay hi-
No.
No. Loki stopped himself from imagining it.
That didn't happen. Tony and two other men had come in and protected him from his brother. Tony had stayed with him as the others had left and had comforted him. Tony would keep him safe from Thor. He had been kind to Loki. He had even offered him food, for which Loki was very grateful.
Loki honestly tried, he tried so hard to make the monster in him go away! He had scratched at his skin, peeling away the blue patches he managed to scrape off. Loki couldn't see his Jotun form, but he knew by touching the markings that trailed up his frail and starved frame.
He cried at the pain that came with the ritual, but Loki knew better. He had felt worse. Like when they sewed his eyes- No. Not back to that time!, he had thought, ignoring the tears that now fell from his eyes. But then Loki realized it was what he deserved. He was a monster after all. He deserved the sewing, and the torture, all of it. His breath had softly hitched, and he started weeping into his own arms. That was where Tony came in.
Tony had come in and seen how he tried to get rid of himself, the monster within and how he failed to do so. Tony had watched him break apart. Yet he had comforted him and kept his offer for food ready. How? Why?
He tried to shift himself a bit under the covers he had been laid under, and the cloth scraped against his arms. Loki winced. It hurt. He tried to make himself sit up, succeeding.
Suddenly a dizziness attacked him, making him feel as if the world was spinning around and turned upside down. The mischief god let out a small yelp as he fell out of his bed on the floor, his back touching the ground first. He groaned in pain as he felt the pain slowly spread through his limbs, numbing him.
Sprawled out on the floor, he softly cried at his own weakness. Why did he have to be in so much pain? Why couldn't it just leave him all alone? Then he remembered himself again of what he was. He sat up and started scratching at his arms again, this time not letting the tears fall.
Until Tony came in. "Loki, No!" He heard the man loudly exclaim before the hurried footsteps approached him. He heard the scraping of cloth against the floor, and he reached out with his arm for Tony, who grabbed them.
"Dammit. Now I'll have to clean this mess up before Bruce comes down..." Bruce? Who was Bruce? Was he with Tony the first time? Did he mean harm to Loki? Loki's trail of thought was interrupted as he suddenly felt soft gauze being wrapped tightly around his left upper arm.
The black haired god sat up in a better position, and occasionally shivered at the discomfort of it. He wanted to lift his hands and start scratching again, but Tony's hands stopped him. "Loki, no. We don't do self-harm in here." He heard the stern voice say. Loki nodded. That seemed to be enough to reassure Tony, and he felt more gauze being wrapped around his arms.
"Leave this on, Loki. It will help you to heal faster."
Loki leaned in at hearing Tony's voice again. Soon after he was lifted up again, probably being brought back to bed. He tried to grabble at Tony's shirt and neck during his small ride, trying to feel what the other man was wearing, only to have a smaller hand than his own trying to guide him away.
"Now don't do that Lokes, that tickles." He heard Tony say, a hint of amusement in his voice.
He was lifted back into his bed shortly after, and Tony gave him a couple of reassuring pats on his head. Loki felt glad. He thought of Tony as his new friend. Loki gave one more smile as Tony lifted the soft blanket over his body until he suddenly felt something on his wrists.
What's that?
He tried to pull on it, and it didn't give. Loki gave it another tug and it still didn't budge with him. He whined at Tony, he had been restrained! Shortly after he felt the restrains on his legs too.
He looked in the direction of where he guessed where Tony stood, and he made a soft noise of discomfort.
"Sorry Loki." He heard the apologizing tone in the man's voice. "Can't have ya hurting yourself all the time."
Loki made another strangled noise. "Jarvis will keep an eye on ya, and if you're in need of help, I'll get to you as soon as possible." Loki's eyes went wide, and although he couldn't see, he could tell for sure that Tony intended to leave him alone like this.
He tried to give Tony a sorrowful look, begging for help with his eyes, but all he heard was the sound of a door opening and closing, leaving him in the darkness, alone.
Tony panted slightly as he closed the door to Loki's room. He wasn't used to this kind of stuff, where was Bruce when you needed him? He felt bad for Loki though, he didn't mean to restrain him first, but Loki had made it difficult for him with his scratching and Tony felt better safe than sorry. Still, he had been amused when Loki had tried to touch his face out of curiosity, except for that it tickled him a lot and he wasn't whether it was a good idea to drop the god if he couldn't keep in his laughter. So he tried to wave Loki off, succeeding with ease.
He left to see his fellow Avengers upstairs, and to have his dinner. The late-night surgery with Bruce had surely taken their toll that morning. He had slept until 3 pm today, and had woken up in a hurry to Loki's panic attack. The rest of it did explain itself, and now it was 5 pm already.
He needed to see Bruce first. He went across the lab, but it seemed it was unoccupied by his fellow scientist at the moment, so he went upstairs to the living room. Natasha and Bruce were both sitting in the couches by the television, watching some science program Bruce probably had put up. Bruce turned the volume down as soon as he saw Tony approach, and turned slightly to look at him.
"How'd it go? Is he doing well?"
Damn. Exactly the question Tony didn't want to answer. Well was an looking-glass compared to what he just had experienced.
"I had to restrain him to keep him from hurting himself." With those words he plumped himself down on the couch next to Bruce. Natasha leaned in, looking at Tony.
"He hates his own species." Her gaze made Tony shift uncomfortable.
"No wonder, if Asgard taught him all his life long the Jotuns were monsters." Bruce added, shrugging his shoulders.
"So, now what do we do?" Tony leaned backwards, stretching himself before taking a normal position again. Bruce looked at him.
"We wait for him to heal. And perhaps he can walk in a few days." Natasha slowly leaned more forwards. Tony stared at her.
"I guess so... He could lean on me and walk, although I carried more of him than he did for himself." Tony shrugged and grabbed the remote, shutting of the TV. The screen went black immediately.
Bruce put a hand on Tony's shoulder. "Are you sure Loki is fine downstairs? he might be panicked that you left him there." Tony gave Bruce a reassuring look before he quickly spoke the next words.
"Jarvis watches him. I made sure he's okay, Brucie." And with that he grabbed himself a bottle of beer from the table.
"Are you sure that is a good idea now?" Natasha shot him a slightly annoyed look, and pulled out a knife of her pocket, playing with it as if it was nothing. Tony winced at seeing the sharpness of the knife.
"Of course, alcohol has never been a bad idea, Tasha." He croaked out, his voice several pitches higher than usual.
Loki did not like this. He was restrained, helpless and vulnerable to anyone would wish harm upon him. The mischief god tugged restlessly at the soft bindings, wishing they would go away until he realized it was of no use. He sunk back into his bed, expression dulled but still miserable. He lay like that for a few minutes before his head started to ponder about his situation.
What if Thor came in? His eyes widened at the thought. Why couldn't he see? Loki softly whined as he realized it was impossible for him to defend himself from his brother.
I am nothing. I am weak. I will never be as strong as Thor. I am a monster.
A heavy lump formed in his throat. He would be in here. All alone. Helpless. Bound like the monster he was. Loki started crying softly, and tried to bury his face in his shoulder, not succeeding due to the bindings on his wrists. Why did Tony leave him exposed like this? But then he knew why, he was to be bound like the monster he was. Loki curled slightly in on himself.
Surely Tony would come back. Maybe within a few hours. Tony had brought him his first meal since a long time, maybe he would bring him a second too. Loki hoped for that still, although he knew he did not deserve it.
He gave one more soft tug on his restraints before he fell into a deep, dark sleep.