BPOV

I'd never felt more terrified about walking into the Cullen home, not even the very first time I visited. I almost smiled thinking about how Edward assumed I'd be scared of his family because they were vampires, not just because they were his family. My, how things had changed since that first visit. In hindsight, our relationship seemed almost simple in comparison back then than it was now. Hopefully this conversation could help us get back to a more simplistic, uncomplicated relationship.

I entered the front room and was surprised when no Cullen member came to greet me. Surely they knew I was here. Maybe they had heard about my infidelity and none of them could stand the sight of me after I had hurt their brother and son in such a careless manner. I felt my nervousness grow when several seconds passed and I stood alone in the great house. I had about made up my mind to just leave when soft footsteps captured my attention.

Edward gracefully descended the staircase and walked towards me. I felt my breathing become shallow and my heartbeat pick up, knowing he could hear it too. Unlike the last time we were together, he stared straight into my eyes and refused to break the eye contact. I couldn't read anything in them though, he still kept his expression smooth. I wasn't sure what he was currently seeing on my face, I was too terrified to try to put together any functional expression. Edward stopped a few feet in front of me—a much larger distance between us than I would have normally like. "Hi," he murmured, almost anticlimactically.

"Hi," I whispered back.

"Al-Alice said that you were stopping by," he stuttered a moment before slipping into a conversational tone.

"Well, I guess she would know," I tried to keep my tone light as well, but my heart was certainly not in the teasing. He just smiled in response. "I thought that we could maybe talk for a while, if that's alright with you?"

"I think I am available for some time," he teased. The snarkier part of my subconscious couldn't help but wonder if he really was too busy for me or didn't want to see me for very long. I couldn't blame him if that were the case, I didn't deserve his time anymore, not after what I had done. No, I couldn't think like that, if we were ever going to fix things. Edward interrupted my thoughts as he gestured towards the dining room. "Shall we?" Not his bedroom, that couldn't be a good sign. I simply nodded and followed him to the dining table.

Ever the gentleman, Edward held out a chair for me and pushed it in once I was seated. I softly thanked him before he walked around and sat directly across from me. I nearly smiled at the arrangement, it reminded me of our first "date" in Port Angeles over a year ago. The almost-smile vanished when I realized that this was it. We were finally going to have to talk things out. Where would I even start?

Edward seemed to sense my discomfort. "My family thought it'd be best if we had some privacy for a while," he explained, apparently thinking that I was uncomfortable because I thought his family would be listening in. I realized that I had been worried about that as well and the thought of being completely alone for this conversation slightly comforted me. I just nodded in response.

"Edward I—," I began, not at all knowing what I was going to say.

"Yes Bella?" he answered softly, looking intently into my eyes.

I took in a deep breath, hoping it would give me some kind of courage. This was it. I just needed to come clean to him, once and for all.

"Edward, I just want you to know how sorry I am. For everything. For what happened with Jacob—," he winced at the reminder, but I pressed on, "I just, I… I know there's absolutely no excuse for what I did. I want to tell you that it was because I wanted to save him, because I thought I could save him from killing himself, but I would be lying if that were the case." At this, he gasped and pure agony filled his eyes.

"I understand completely, Bella," he sounded resigned as he moved to get up.

"No, Edward, please listen! I'm not finished," he waited, "I'm not sure what possessed me to… to kiss Jacob but I know that it's because I'm a selfish, awful, ungrateful person who doesn't deserve you. I kissed Jacob because I'm a terrible person. But I didn't kiss him because I don't love you. I love you so much and I want nothing more than to marry you and be your wife and spend forever with you… if you'll still have me." My little speech left me completely in tears, but I had done it. I had told him everything. Now it was up to him.

He didn't speak at first. His eyes lowered from mine to looking down at the table. His fists clenched and I waited for him to respond. Several seconds passed and he still didn't speak. I began to fidget in my chair. Finally, he raised his eyes to mine and opened his mouth.

"Bella," he began, "I just want you to know that above all, I love you. I love you with my entire being. I will always love you. You have altered my entire body to where every cell of me aches with love for you. That will never change." I felt my heart begin to soar at his words but I could feel the other shoe about to drop. He took a deep breath before continuing. "Bella, I do not exactly know what to say to you because I cannot describe how I feel. I have sat for the last few days thinking about how I felt, trying to put into words. But I was unable to do so and that is partly why I avoided you—I had nothing real to say to you yet. I want you to know, I need you to know that I do not blame you nor am I angry with you," I began to relax a little, even knowing that I did not deserve such quick forgiveness from him, "Even so, I cannot help feeling… betrayed still. I know that Jacob tricked but I just… I… I couldn't…" I had never seen him struggle so hard for words before. He drew in another deep breath, but exhaled in shakily and something in him seemed to change. Suddenly, none of the pain in his eyes was concealed. He was staring at me, eyes pleading with me, with nothing but pure and completely agony in them. Horror washed over me as I realized that I had caused Edward so much pain.

"It hurt Bella! It hurt so much, seeing you with him. And then Alice saw you disappear and I knew you were with him. I wanted to trust you, that nothing was happening between you and Jacob, but I couldn't help but imagine what might be going on." I gasped as I realized how careless I had been. Of course Edward would construe my going down to La Push earlier today as choosing Jacob over him. Was there anything I had done in the past few days that hadn't hurt Edward in some way? "I knew that you loved me but what if… what if you had realized that you should be with him instead of me? What if that was what you really wanted? A physical relationship, children, a real life. You should have that with him instead of nothing with me. I can't give you anything that he can and I always knew but what if you had finally realized that too? I messed everything up when I left. I sent you into another man's arms and I have no right to be in pain because of something that I caused." Hearing Edward blame himself for a wrongdoing that was only mine broke my heart. "And I knew I was wrong for that way I acted with you, ignoring you and avoiding you, but I just couldn't face you. Deep down, I did not want to risk seeing if you looked at me differently, if you no longer loved me. I even checked up on you last night—you had a nightmare and I laid with you while you slept, but I left before you woke up because I couldn't bear facing you yet." This was a surprise to me, I hadn't realized that he had been there and I didn't even notice that I'd had a nightmare. Part of me was pleased that even though I wasn't aware of it, that I still got to sleep with Edward in my bed last night. "Bella, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for ruining things between us and I'm sorry for hurting you and causing you nightmares and… I'm just sorry," he sobbed out. He dropped his head onto the table and covered it with his arms, crying tearless sobs for something that I had done to him. I had never seen Edward in so much pain. I had never seen him so vulnerable before and I couldn't believe how insecure he felt and how much pain and blame he was shouldering because of me. I tried to think of words that could take his pain away, but I couldn't think of any. Then I realized.

There weren't words adequate enough to take Edward's pain away because there weren't words adequate enough to describe how deeply I felt for Edward. It finally dawned on me that I would have to show Edward, that I would have to do something to try to take Edward's pain away. I quickly ran up the stairs, leaving him collapsed in his misery on the dining table. I wasn't sure if he noticed my absence. I darted into Edward's room, trying to remember where he kept everything. It took a few minutes, but I finally found what I needed. Luck seemed to be on my side as I ran back down the stairs without falling flat on my face—God knew that this situation really didn't need a trip to the emergency room on top of everything else.

Edward was still in the position that I had left him in, head down on the table, quietly sobbing. His pain tore at my heart, but I tried to reassure myself that I would soon relieve his agony. I walked over to him and knelt beside him. "Edward," I tried, placing my hand on his arms. He didn't respond.

"Edward, please look at me," I tried again. This time, he slowly raised his head and looked at me, still with pain in his eyes. I sucked in some air and began, "Edward, you have absolutely no reason to be sorry, for anything. This whole thing is my fault. Your leaving is not your fault—you did it to protect me. My relationship with Jacob was because of me and my leading him on was because of me and my kissing him was because of me. You have done nothing but love and protect me and I don't deserve it. I just wish I knew what I could say to you to take away your pain. I wish I knew the words to describe how much I love you but I don't. All I do know is that I love you more than everyone else in the world combined and I want to spend forever with you…as your wife." His eyes filled with surprise at my words. I pulled out the ring box that I had grabbed from his bedroom and pressed it into his hand. "Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, can I have the honor of officially being your fiancée and proudly wearing your mother's ring?"

Edward's face lit up with elation at my proposal and the pain that had seemed constant in his eyes finally disappeared. A huge smile broke on his face and he pulled me into a tight embrace, almost to the point of discomfort, but I couldn't bother to care in that moment. When he finally pulled away, there was some apprehension left in his expression.

"Bella, are you sure?" he seemed uncertain. "You don't have to prove anything to me. Don't get me wrong, I want nothing more than for you to be my wife, but not if you are trying to suppress other emotions or think you owe me something. Truly, I will understand."

"Edward," I sighed. "This isn't because of my feelings for Jacob. This isn't because of guilt. This is because I love you. And it was just in these past few days that I realized how much I needed you and loved you and that I wanted everyone to know that I officially chose you and that I am going to spend the rest of my life with you."

The uncertainty vanished from his eyes and he simply said, "Okay," before pressing his lips to mine in a passionate kiss. All the tension and angst from the past few days melted away in those moments and I could feel nothing but pure bliss and love in his kiss. I was finally certain that we would be okay and that I would spend forever with Edward Cullen.

He murmured "I love you," against my lips and I could only moan in response. He chuckled in the back of his throat and finally pulled away, excitement lit in his eyes. I searched for any signs of insecurity or doubt, but could only see love—pure love for me. I had never been more certain of Edward's love for me than I was in that moment and I hoped that he had finally accepted mine. We were meant to be together and now we had forever ahead of us.

And there we go! I apologize for the ending- I couldn't really figure out any other way than to just get really cheesy with it. I think I might do the same chapter from Edward's point of view and that that will probably be the last chapter. I don't think I'll keep going because from here, the plot would just continue onto Breaking Dawn, my fanfic was just meant to be a little detour:)

Thanks again for reading and please leave me reviews! If I finish EPOV of the this chapter, I'll probably go back and starting cleaning and editing the previous chapters so any typos there might be will be gone soon enough!