Title: Tonight's Guest
Summary: "Tonight, as our guest, we have the star of the controversial new MTV reality show, Harmony Bites, and self proclaimed vampire spokesperson. Harmony Kendall, thanks for being here."
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Kitty Norville.
A/N: This 'show' is set post-Buffy, during the comic "Harmonic Divergence" (you don't have to read that first to read this) and after the first book for Kitty.

"Welcome back to The Midnight Hour. This is Kitty Norville, your host. Tonight, as our guest, we have self-proclaimed vampire spokesperson and the star of the controversial new MTV reality show, Harmony Bites. Harmony Kendall, thanks for being here."

"And thank you for having me, Kitty! I was so surprised when I was offered the guest spot, but I'm so happy I could make room in my schedule for your little show."

"Really? Because my producer says your agent has been harassing him since - "

"And, wow! Look at the two of us, campaigning for the rights of our kind. And how cool is it that you're a blond, too! I mean, granted, you could maybe use some low-lights and high-lights, and I know this is radio, so make-up really isn't 'required', but you don't have to let your inner wolf own your look, you know? Oh, but I guess I'm off subject, we're here to talk about my show, after all."

"Actually, we're here to talk about your role in the general public's current view of vampires and the supernatural."

"Oh. Yeah. Of course. You know, you're a big part of my own 'coming out'. I used to listen to your show, like, religiously, and when you admitted to being a wolf, you were, like, the wake-up call I needed."

"Yes, I remember you calling the show a few times. You're hard to forget."

"Aww, thanks, Kitty."

"Harmony, some of your critics in the supernatural world have complained that your show romanticizes your vampire lifestyle."

"Well, I mean, I do date a lot of guys who are into vampires, but I'm totally not easy. I mean, this girl has self respect."

"That's not what...Nevermind. Do you find it disturbing, the number of young people who watch your show and want to become like you? As in, 'undead'?"

"Well, I've always been a bit of a trendsetter, even when I was human, so I'm totally used to people trying to imitate my style, but I've been very, very responsible when it comes to informing the viewing audience of the major hardships associated with vampires. It's, like, really hard, you know? Living this unlife?"

"I do know, actually."

"Oh, Kitty, that was totally insensitive of me. Of course you know what it's like, and, duh, me, I should never have commented on your hair without considering how hard it is to maintain during your monthlies. It's like dying it probably isn't even worth it if you're just going to get dark roots when you sprout fur."

"I was actually referring to turning into a beast during the full moon and losing control of my body as being my primary 'hardship'."

"That too, I guess. Hey, you know what would be awesome? What if you were on my show? I'm sure my fans would love to see my werewolf bestie."

"No. And we're not besties."

"But, wouldn't it be great for your audience to be able to see you, and I mean, we'd have so much fun, and, oh, wow, wouldn't it be great if we could get that hunter guy on too? He sounded hot."

"He sounded hot? When he was hired to kill me?"

"There was chemistry..."

"The answer is no."

"But - "

"Let's take some callers, shall we?"