Disclaimer: no own Inuyasha.

Summary: The story of two lovers drawn to the flame of a love so forbidden; one heart's melting of ice, and another heart's learning to beat again.

AN: Chapters will get longer after this letter. ! oh and, MIND YOU ! Kagome is NOT a prostitute, she is a geisha. Oirans are high-class courtesans. Well anyways, on with the story.

A Letter to my Immortal:

I look at you and contemplate this one question the most… how could I have lived with the absence of love from my life for so long? From my entering the okiya I have barricaded myself in from the world, you say I give love so freely to others, but you know not of my hearts failings. I give this love you speak of to my young apprentices but it is not love but kindness and care. This is a harsh world my danna, but the inhabitants of my okiya do not have to face the same at home. Before you, I could not give love, but only moments of caring. I never showed my true feelings, I hid behind a façade I was taught to wear. Before you I did not even remember who I was. I would give a fleeting smile, yes, or a gentle touch and a whisper of encouragement, but that is the way I choose to run my okiya. My heart stopped beating long ago, a time which I wish never to remember before I entered this okiya and became a maiko, it became but a still whispering beat.

But I opened my eyes when I met you, your beauty so majestic captured me and I was stilled, I was enthralled. I looked at you those first few evenings, trying to see past the beauty, always searching your cold golden eyes for the truth. I became good at this I must admit over the years of running my okiya, but you were the first to leave me puzzled. You were always a puzzle to me danna, a puzzle I long to solve.

My heart began to beat again when you demanded the real me, the darkness that contained it slowly disappearing. And with every encounter, every look into your golden eyes my heart beat stronger and faster. Until the black was dispelled and I could breathe again, and the feelings of love filled me. With you my heart finally skipped a beat, or fluttered with excitement; never before did it act this way. Your heart was encased in ice and I melted it, my heart was dead and with your love it was brought back to life.

You say you know nothing of me, and I begrudge you not my danna. We both knew we were in too deep, for you to love me was unacceptable, for you to wish me your mate was treason. You are a great demon, a daiyoukai of important standing, the Lord of the Western Lands. I am a geisha, high-class and too expensive for most, but a geisha none the less. I could never fit into the society you wish me to enter. I am not a demoness of high-standing, I am but a human. I have dreamed of standing proud by your side, showing the world our love. But I am but a romantic fool, and with every dream I awoke to reality and the heavy feeling of sadness that comes with wishful thinking. What you, what I, want will never be.

I apologize to you danna, for what has happened. I apologize for the strife my love and selfishness has brought to you. I would have banished you from my okiya if I had known what my greed would have brought. Greed is the only word I will accept for the cause of my actions, for it is greed that stopped me from making the right decision. My greed and selfishness at condemning you to what is now. If I had just pushed you away when you kissed me that first time, we wouldn't have leapt off the cliff of no return. I could have lived in longing, my heart growing cold and bitter from the loss of such an encompassing love. That would have been better than what is now. You would have moved on and found a more worthy female to stand by your side as a mate, you would not be in this great danger as you are now. But with every wish to turn back the hands of time and stop myself, I know if I had the chance I would not take it because my selfishness is too great. I will not lose your love, and you will not lose mine. I will forever love you my danna, and no one shall take your place. I will cry over you night after night, I will imagine the happy family we might have had, I will be forever cold from the absence of your touch. But I will not give it up, never.

You are my love, you are my life, you are my joy, you are the air I so greatly need to breathe. I would give my life up to just know that you would be safe. But I promise you this my love, I will do anything to save you. Anything…

My mate, my danna, my immortal, my koishii… my Sesshoumaru…

Your Forbidden