Chapter Eleven: "My Immortal" ( Songfic Chapter, My Immortal is by Evanescence)
The next day, Mildred was busy with her classes. She was trying to keep busy to distract herself. She hadn't been able to grieve properly and it was beginning to show.
Amelia was starting to get worried about her, so she summoned Constance to her office. "Constance, I'm concerned about Mildred. She's been rather distant and her friends are starting to notice. I don't think she has been able to grieve fully."
"Really, Headmistress? She has seemed perfectly normal to me." Constance queried.
"I'm asking you to talk to her as her Aunt, Guardian, and Form-Mistress." Amelia told her.
"Yes, Headmistress." Constance rose carefully with Star in her arms. "Look after Star, will you?" She went to find Mildred who wasn't in the Classroom, the dormitory, the courtyard, or the Potions Lab. She heard the sound of a piano playing in the distance and found Mildred in the Chanting Room, playing the piano and singing. Her gentle soprano rang out as she sang.
"I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me"
Mildred was sobbing freely now. Constance came up behind her and led her away from the piano, picking her up slowly in her arms so not to hurt herself, and hushing gently. She carried the girl back to Amelia's office, rocking with her. She sat down in the easychair.
"I found her in Chanting class, playing the piano. I believe the song is called 'My Immortal'." Constance told the Headmistress, who had retrieved Star's cradle from Constance's room and was rocking it gently.
"Shhh, shhhh, shhhh." Constance hushed gently in her niece's ear. Mildred was sobbing uncontrollably.
"Mildred, dear?" Amelia called softly. "Tell us what the matter is…maybe we can help."
Mildred rose from her Aunt's lap and a wave of nausea overtook her. She fell to her knees, retching in the nearest dustbin.
Constance slowly knelt down behind her and held her hair back, her lips resting on her forehead.
"I should have known this was too much. I'm sorry…" She murmured. She kissed the top of Mildred's head. "How about you go lie down?" She told her.
Mildred nodded quietly and went to her room.
Maud came in to check on her friend. "Millie? We're all worried about you. You've been staying away from everyone, only attending classes and meals. Even Ethel Hallow is worried about you anad you know it takes a lot for her to worry about anyone."
"Just leave me alone, Maud….please." The look in Mildred's eyes was one of grief and torment.
"All right…" Maud sighed. She left the room.
Ethel knocked at the door. "Mildred… I'm not going to say I know how you feel because I don't really… well, not in the same way… I felt like I lost everything…whenever someone would call me one of 'the Hallows'… I just wanted to be known as Ethel…" She sait down on the bed next to Mildred and hesitantly stroked her hair, not saying anything while Mildred cried pouring out her grief.
Little did they know, Constance had been listening to the conversation. She was proud of Ethel. Perhaps Ethel and Mildred were putting aside their differences and trying to be friends. She sincerely hoped so.
Mildred suddenly turned and clung to Ethel, burying her face in Ethel's shoulder.
Ethel was stunned but she soon softened. "Shhhh…" She murmured." It's going to be all right, Mildred…really it will. You're not alone. You have everyone here to help you. You've got your friends and Miss Hardbroom and… you have me."
Mildred lifted her tear-streaked face and looked at Ethel. "Really Ethel?" She asked." Do you mean that?"
"Yes, I do." Ethel nodded. "We've been fighting over the silliest things for the past three years. It's time that we became friends."
"If you really believe that, then I'd like to try." Mildred sniffed. Ethel hugged her.