A/N: Sorry guys for the delay! I've been off-grid camping and just got back to civilization. Here's the next chapter!
Scott stood in the doorway of one of Princeton General's many rooms. The smell of antiseptic was making his skin crawl, and the beeping sound of the machines was driving him insane.
But he didn't show his discomfort. But it was nothing compared to what his siblings were facing.
"Excuse me," an assertive, yet gentle voice, spoke behind him and Scott turned around to see a petite nurse standing there. She had a clipboard in her hand and was looking at him expectantly. Only then did Scott realize he was blocking the entrance.
"Sorry," he apologized softly and stepped aside to let her in. He stayed where he was, but looked in at what she was doing. "Has he been here all night?" he finally asked, knowing she'd been the attending nurse for a while.
The nurse nodded, and smiled. "Refused to leave," she told him. "Wouldn't even consider taking a cot. He's been at her side all night, just waiting for her to wake up. She's very lucky to have him."
Scott nodded but was not delighted by her words. As he looked into the small, white hospital room, all he could see was Benjamin Benedict sitting in a chair beside his sister's bed. The boy was sleeping, his head on a small portion of the hospital bed near her hand. Scott knew that was an uncomfortable position to sleep in, but did not feel sorry at all for the boy. That had been him once, and it should be him now.
His gaze drifted upwards to where his sister was. The littlest Tracy, only she wasn't that little anymore. She looked asleep, with the serene look on her face. But he knew that sleeping look was caused by sedatives. His little sister was hurt and he had no one to blame but himself. In a way, it was worse than if she'd gotten hurt under his watch. Because then at least, he would have been watching. Kathryn and Virgil had gotten hurt because he hadn't been watching, by his negligence.
Now all he could do was watch by a door and believe they were going to get better. Virgil was only allowed two visitors at a time, and Kathryn was only allowed family members. Which according to the file the hospital had, Kathryn Sally Swicord had none. But Ben was allowed in because he was the emergency contact and, Scott suspected, her medical agent.
His fist banged against the metal door frame, frustrated. This was all wrong; none of this was going as it should have.
"This is all wrong," Gordon said behind him. "When did it all go wrong Scott?" His younger brother was looking into the room beside him.
"I thought you were with Virgil," he said, avoiding the question because he didn't know the answer himself.
Gordon shrugged. "Virgil kicked me out," he said, then grinned. "Me and Alan." Scott just shook his head, letting out a sigh. But even he couldn't resist a small grin that appeared on his face at the thought of the shenanigans his siblings were up to, even if their intentions were to make Virgil feel better. Or give them a sense of normality.
"You two," the voice of the nurse made them both draw their attention to her. She was looking at them expectantly, clipboard in hand. "Are blocking the door to a room you're not allowed in." Making a point, the Tracy boys stepped aside for her. She walked, stopped and looked at them. She really didn't know what their relation to her patient was, or the young man who slept. But they looked familiar, probably having one of those faces, and seemed like they were compassionate enough. "I think you should take the boy down to breakfast," she said after a thought. "I'm sure he would like to talk to someone about everything that's been happening with his friend." She grinned and moved through the door. It wasn't her part to discuss the patient's well-being. But if the person she discussed it with discussed it with someone else, then that was at his discretion.
Scott looked at Gordon, who had a slight grin on his face. He turned towards Ben, who still slept and back at Gordon, who seemed to have found his next target. For that moment, he was glad Kathryn was asleep under a sedative. The last thing he wanted was for her to wake up to Gordon harassing Ben awake and dragging the information out of the guy.
With him helping.
Kathryn had awoken to the sound of machines beeping around her. And alone, until a nurse had walked by and saw she was awake. She hadn't said anything, except to respond the questions of the doctor, and even then she kept it to a minimal.
Now, staring at the wall with her back turned towards the door, she tried to calm her thoughts. There were voices she could hear, but they belong to a memory she didn't recollect having.
You're going to be okay baby girl, you're going to be okay.
Kathryn, we're here. We came to get you; I'm sorry we got here so late.
Katie.
She closed her eyes tight, trying to keep those voices out of her head. Kathryn couldn't pick out who they belong to, just that they were familiar.
Where are they now?
They know it's your fault.
You're worthless.
They don't care what happens to you.
A consolation prize.
No one will save you.
There was a light tap on the door before the creaking sound of the hinges. Eyes still closed, Kathryn muttered, "I don't want to speak to anyone."
She listened for the retreating footsteps but instead felt the edge of her hospital bed sink. "Kathryn." The voice was stern, authoritative, but soft. Surprised, she turned her head to see American hero, Jefferson Tracy sitting at the edge of her bed.
"I thought that only family was allowed to visit," she said rather icily as she looked at the man who claimed to be her father.
He was never there for you, was he?
Jeff's gaze saddened. "I wanted to see how you were doing." With a look to her dad, Kathryn turned to face him completely before moving to sit up, a difficult task when one arm was in a sling. He moved to her help.
"I can do it on my own," Kathryn snapped. "I don't need your help." It took a while, but she finally got herself in a comfortable enough position.
"Kathryn," Jeff started again, "I'm sorry for what happened. And don't worry about the mess in your dorm, I'll have it fixed."
He never wanted you to begin with.
You're a nuisance he had to hide away.
"I don't want your money," she told him. "I don't want anything that has to do with you. Not anymore." He looked surprised by her words. And she was surprised that they'd come out of her mouth. But there were so many voices in her head, telling her different things, but one was dominant over the others. But it scared her that the more she listened the more that deep voice began to sound like her own, until it entangled itself into her mind. "This is all thanks to you!" She was tired, in pain and afraid. Being with Jacks had brought up horrible memories. "It's all your fault these things happen to me. It's not mine! I've never done anything wrong! They've always just been to get to you." There was a growing pain in her chest.
"Kathryn," Jeff said, reaching out for his daughter.
"Stop it! Stop pretending you care! You've never cared. You've never cared! I remember everything, dad! I remember calling, begging for you to come get me. But you never did! John found me, not you. And even at the hospital, Scott showed up before you! Scott, who went to Yale, was at my side. And when Grandma died, it was Gordon who held me when I cried. What did you do? You took me from the only home I knew and placed me in an island before shipping me off to England! You forgot all about me, you left me all alone and you took away my family!"
The pain in her chest spread over her lungs, hardening against them. She couldn't tell if she was shouting or softly talking, crying or not. "You took everything from me. You stripped me of everything I knew and was, all for things out of my control." Fear was overcoming her, and there was a loud sound, a gun being fired. Everything crashing in around her finally. There was shortness to her breath and her heart raced within her tight chest.
Her final shout had brought in a hoard of people, all trying to figure out what was happening. Kathryn was gripping the sheet with her hands, crying and hyperventilating, trying to get the air back into her lungs. Gordon and John were at her side within moments, realizing the panic attack she was having.
"Kat, Kathryn, listen to me," Gordon moved to her side, sitting in front of her so she would have to look at him. He was careful not to touch her while her eyes were closed, for fear of making it worse. "Hey, hey you're okay. It's okay; I'm right here."
"We're both here Kitty Kat," John whispered close to her ear. He resisted the urge to smooth down her hair. "You're safe here."
"I'm sorry," Kathryn managed to gasp. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to kill him."
Gordon and John shared a look before Gordon looked back at his littlest sibling. "Kathryn, none of this is your fault," he told her sternly. "I want you to look at me, Kathryn, look at me," he said and she gazed at him, still struggling to breath. Gordon wiped away her tears with his thumb, just like when she was a kid. "Listen to John breathing, okay? Follow what he does." On cue, John started taking deep breaths, in and out slowly.
"Never meant to kill," Kathryn said again, feeling the tightness of chest loosen slightly. "Him."
Gordon looked at her confused. "Kathryn…" he started, but was cut off by a look from John. "Keep listening to my voice," he said instead. "Follow John's breathing, and it's all going to be okay baby sis. Remember, we promised to keep you safe. I know we haven't been very good at keeping our promises, but we're here now. We're here now."
Kathryn's breathing had calmed and the tightness of her chest had alleviated. But she still gripped onto Gordon's hands, and listened to John's breathing. She kept looking at Gordon's brown eyes and the voices kept coming back into her head, only now she could recognize them, but couldn't place a time with them.
You're going to be okay baby girl, you're going to be okay, her dad had whispered.
Kathryn, we're here. We came to get you; I'm sorry we got here so late. This was Alan.
Katie. Ben.
Kathryn broke away from Gordon's gaze, trying to look past him but saw nothing besides Scott speaking to their dad, who looked distraught and a nurse who looked upset by the amount of people in the room.
"Get out," Kathryn said quietly. "Get out," she said again louder, surprising everyone in the room. She let go of Gordon's hands and moved away from John. Locking eyes with the nurse she repeated it once more. "Get out!"
"Kathryn…" Gordon said, surprised as he tried to reach out for her. The nurse stopped him, frowning at him.
"None of you are supposed to be in here," She chided as orderlies came in to escort them out of the room. "I warned you all beforehand. Family only. Now Mr. Tracy, I believe your brother is down the hall."
The nurse's last words stung and Kathryn turned her back onto everyone as they were escorted out. She closed her eyes and tried to think of happy thoughts.
A/N: It would have been too perfect for things to have gone smoothly.
Also sorry if you think my panic/anxiety? attacks are so off/offensive. I've never had one so I'm going off of literature here. Sorry if they're not like the real thing.