Kathryn sat up, sweaty and breathing heavily.
"It'll get easier," a voice said from the other side of the room. "At least that's what Scott tells me." Kathryn looked at the youngest blond Tracy in surprise. He had been sitting in an armchair by the wall near the window, and he was leaning forward, elbows on his knees. "Ben went out for a checkup and Gordon's too upset to sit here and let you sleep; even if you are having nightmares."
"You didn't wake me up?" Kathryn asked surprised as she tried to catch her breath again. Alan shook his head and stood up, walking over to her. He handed her a cup of water, a sad small on his lips.
"We both know that doesn't really help," Alan pointed out. "You always finished the nightmare anyway. Might as well let you ride it out and then have more pleasant dreams." There was silence as Kathryn drank from the water and set the cup aside.
"You're mad at me," she finally said, grabbing onto her other arm with her good hand. Her shoulder was acting up again, the dull pain seeming to spread down her arm.
"I'm not mad," Alan finally said after another quiet moment. "Just, perplexed."
Kathryn looked at her youngest older brother carefully. Whenever he was around Gordon, he had this childish way about him. It was like being with the prankster brother brought out the rich, spoiled, race car driver people had believed him to be. But when alone, it was easy for her to see the smart, thoughtful Harvard boy she knew he could be. Moments like those showed how similar the fair haired Tracys could actually be.
"About what," Kathryn prompted, handing him the cup back. She scooted over and patted the spot next to her. It was always the best way to get any of her brothers to tell her things; to have them sit with her. So far it still worked with Virgil and Scott. Alan seemed reluctant before he sat down slowly next to her, but he didn't lay back like Scott had. He sat up straight, looking at her.
"You know, your room is right next to mine," Alan told, his eyes scanning her. Kathryn knew what he was doing; trying to find anything familiar about her, anything that remained of the girl he used to know. Kathryn wasn't sure what he would find, because she wasn't that girl anymore. She wasn't the girl who strived to become a Tracy and get her family's attention through gymnastics and grades. She wasn't the girl who still hung out by the phone, hoping one of them would call or text. She wasn't the girl who wanted nothing else but to be like her brothers when she grew up. That girl had started to disappear after the long nights of waiting and hearing nothing; after the inbox kept showing up with no new messages; when Worlds came and went without a word.
"I know," she said simply. "It's next to yours because you were the only one that wouldn't get mad at me for waking you up when the storms hit the island and I was scared."
"You're just saying that because I was one of the few that was actually around when we first moved there. Everyone else was already in college." Kathryn didn't deny it.
"Does it still sound the same?" She asked him. "The ocean."
Alan nodded before shaking his head. "Actually, it doesn't sound as wild anymore."
"That's a shame," Kathryn sighed. "But you know that means that you just aren't as afraid of it anymore. You learned the sea was something to not fear, but still be cautious of."
"I wish I'd spent my days there learning something else."
Kathryn placed a hand on her brother's shoulder. "Alan," she started. "You're still my brother. You will always by my big brother. Nothing will change that."
"Tied by blood not by not love," Alan said."It's what my sociology professor once said about family dynamics. I couldn't understand how people would only do things for other because they were tied by blood, I always understood that family was tied by love. But it's not, is it Kat? I know you don't want to come back to the island and get better there. You'd rather go down south or stay here."
Kathryn felt the tears fall down her cheeks, unaware that she'd started crying. "They're my family now too Alan," she said. "This is the longest conversation we've had in years. I am so scared that going back to that island because it means going back to strangers. I'm not the same girl you dropped off in high school."
Alan wiped the tear rolling down her cheek away, a sad smile on his face. "I know," he told her. "I know that now. And I will forever regret not being there for you Kitty Kat. I'll always regret not being able to get to know the girl you've become as much as I liked to, or be a part of you become."
"Allie," Kathryn started, hiccupping slightly. "It sounds like your saying goodbye."
Alan stood up from the bed. "I guess I'm just letting go," he told her. "I had one job, to keep you safe. I thought what we were doing was the sacrifice I was making to keep you safe. But, I now realize that by sacrificing you, I didn't keep you safe. Your demons are gone now Kathryn, you don't need me to protect you anymore. You vanquished the bad guy by yourself." He leaned over and kissed her forhead.
"You will always be my baby sister," was all he said before he walked out of the room, leaving Kathryn alone with tears down her face.
"You get the chance to decide," William Benedict sat in the chair beside her bed, arms on his knees, bracing himself.
Kathryn was alone with him, magazines all around her. Their covers all showed the same pictures of her and then of the Tracy boys on campus. The bold titles screamed up at her: "Americas Lost Princess", "Who Have They Been Hiding?", "Princess Found at Last", "America's Royal Family: Their Dark Secret Revealed", "That Makes Six" and lastly "The Heiress Returns". She kept looking at all the covers, wondering how it had all gone wrong.
"They're calling me a princess," Kathryn told him. "One of them referred me as the Anastasia of our time. Don't they know she actually died?" It wasn't making sense to her, she wasn't focusing on what the senator was trying to tell her. All she knew was that her cover was finally blown. The world knew she was a Tracy.
"Kathryn," the sharpness of his tone drew her attention to him. "I know this is a lot to take in, but you have to listen to me. You have the opportunity to decide now."
She gave him a confused look. "Decide? Decide what?"
"Whether or not you become a Tracy." He let the words sink in.
"But...but the articles..." she said, still confused by what he was telling her.
"They are all claiming you're a Tracy. You have the chance to set them straight. With a press conference. Their claims are all based on a high school picture of you and comparing it to the ones they have of your brothers. There's no concrete evidence, it's all gossip until someone makes a statement. Everyone's waiting on Tracy Industries to do it. But they won't make a move until you do."
"...You're saying I get to chose?" she asked him. "Chose on whether or not I am a Tracy?" This idea was revolutionary for her. She'd spent the majority of her life trying to be a Tracy, but it had never occurred to her not to be a Tracy.
"That's right. You can either set them all straight by claiming you are, or you can call them out on their lies and say you're not. TI is willing to back you up on whatever you say."
"You've talked to my father then?" she asked him. It was weird, knowing that with what she said, he could just be Jeff to her instead of father.
William nodded. "I have. He's giving you the opportunity to chose."
"What do you think I should do?" Kathryn asked, looking at him desperately. "I...I don't know what to chose."
"Chose to be whoever you want to be," William said simply as he stood up. "Either way Kathryn, you have a family to support you. You just have to decided if you want one, or two." He gave her good shoulder a gentle squeeze before seeing himself out.
Kathryn sat on her bed, looking at all the tabloids in front of her. The attention was unsettling. If she came out, it would no doubt grow. And everything would change. She knew how people treated her brothers when they had gone to school, always different because of the last name Tracy. The treatment would become the same and Kathryn knew that her life of sliding through life unnoticed would be gone. She would be in the spotlight, criticized for just being who she was. People would try to befriend her for her name. And the expectations would grow. She'd be expected to fall into the path her brothers had already treaded for her.
And then she thought of the danger. Kathryn knew she'd been kidnapped as a kid for just being Jeff Tracy's little girl. If she took the name back, the danger would be back.
Kathryn hadn't realized she was having a panic attack until Ben's face was right in the way of her vision and he seemed to be saying something.
"You're okay, you're okay," she heard him whisper to her. "Follow me Katie, just follow my breathing." He took a deep breath and let it go, then again. She caught on and did, reaching for his hand and, just breathing in and out deeply and slowly.
"Thanks," she finally whispered as he got on the bed, sitting behind her. He wrapped his arms around her middle and brought her back to lay on him as he brought his legs next to hers.
"What happened?" he asked, his finger swirling her hair. "Weren't you just talking to my dad?"
"Have you seen the articles?" Kathryn asked closing her eyes, not wanting to look at them anymore.
"Everyone's seen the articles Kat," he told her. "I past by your brother's room on the way here. The amount of shouting that was happening was incredible. I'm surprised that security hadn't shown up."
"Your dad says I can choose. Whether or not I want to be a Tracy."
"He's right. This can be knife that cuts the cord, or the needle that sews it all back together."
"I don't know what to do," Kathryn cried out. "I'm so confused. If I take it back, it's all going to change. Everyone will know. It'll be dan-a drastic change."
"You think it'll be dangerous," Ben said, catching what she'd tired to say before the change of words. "You're afraid he'll come back for you because being a Tracy was what happened to you to begin with."
Kathryn nodded and turned her body slightly, burrowing her head against his chest. He hugged her.
"It's not going to be like that Katie," Ben tried to reassure her. "He's not going to come back because he lost. You kept him from winning and now he's never going to hurt you again. No one is ever going to hurt you again. Not if I can help it. And I'm sure not if your brothers can help it."
Kathryn remembered what Alan had said, how she'd vanquished her own demons and now she didn't need them anymore. "Being a Tracy means you can have your family back Kat. It means you can try and get to know each other again and be more than just a Tracy by name and blood. I'm not the only one you'd have to share things with."
"But I like sharing with you Ben. You get me. You've always had."
"That's because I've always been able to see the girl you are. You're more like your brothers than you think."He sat both of them up and she faced him. "You can do it Kat, if you wanted to. You could be a Tracy. Forget about everyone else and just think. Do you want to be a Tracy? You're strong, and smart. You'll be okay either way."
"I wish someone would just tell me what to do."
"No one can tell you who to be Kat. That's something you get to decide."
A/N: Dundundun. What will Kathryn do? What would you do?