~Thanks for all the reviews! Here's some more, just for you! there's a little bit of tame smuttiness in this one, so if you're not into that sort of thing, you should probably turn back now. the next chapter- which you will only get if you give me lots and lots of reviews- puts this one to shame.
any disclaimer i had before still stands
oh, and i should explain something- i altered the whole Glory/Ben spell thingamajig so that it only applies to Dawn. You'll get it when you get there. Enjoy!
Spike and I took the long route to the Bronze, talking about everything. It took a little prodding- and I mean literally, turns out he's really ticklish- but I got him to tell me about William and his life before he got vamped. He went to Oxford, which surprised me since Spike always acted like he didn't know anything, and he'd been nobility. He still wouldn't tell me his full name, but I thought it was a step in the right direction.
The Scoobies had been at the Bronze awhile when we finally got there. I led Spike to the table, still holding his hand, but he let go as we approached the table. I frowned back at him and he shrugged, nodding towards my friends.
"Jeez, Buff, take you long enough?" Xander called to us.
"We walked slow," I said, shrugging. Xander raised an eyebrow at me and Spike, eyes darting between us.
"Damn," he muttered, pulling two bills out of his pocket and handing one each to Willow and Dawn. The girls giggled brightly and pocketed them. "Spike, you've got a hickey," he said sullenly, pointing to a spot on his neck. I looked over at Spike, and sure enough, there was a round purple bruise on his neck, just over his sire mark.
"Whoops," I laughed. Spike just grinned cockily at Xander.
"Got a problem with that, Harris?" he all but growled.
"I've been told that even if I have reservations about whatever you two are doing, I should keep my mouth shut," Xander said. "And that since I'm in love with an ex-demon, I'm not allowed to judge anyone."
"Exactly," Anya said, patting his arm.
"O-okay, then," I said. "So I guess you guys had a group chat huh?"
"Yes, quite," Giles said, holding his usual glass of scotch. "And while I don't know that any of us are thrilled about you having a relationship with another vampire-"
"Hey! I'm thrilled!" Dawn interjected.
"Spike's not Angel," I said automatically, ignoring my sister. I stepped back, running into Spike intentionally. His hand braced my hips and I wound my fingers through his.
"No one's arguing that point, Buffy," Giles said. "We're just concerned."
"I keep telling them they don't need to be concerned," Dawn said. "You're a big girl; you can take care of yourself."
"She's right," I said. "And I appreciate your concern. But whatever's happening between me and Spike will or will not happen regardless of what you guys do. So, and don't take this the wrong way, but stay out of it. This is between us." I squeezed Spikes' hands in what I hoped felt like reassurance. His arms tightened around me, so he must have gotten the message.
"That sounds… reasonable," Giles said slowly. "And… Dawn did mention that you were going to take it slowly? I don't think it's wise for you to get involved with anyone romantically before this Glory situation is dealt with."
"Relax, Watcher," Spike rumbled from behind me. "Your Slayer's got a good head on 'er shoulders. Let her use it." I smiled in spite of myself.
"Spike-" Giles began hotly. Tara placed a calm hand on his arm. I could barely hear what she said to him.
"She's smiling," Tara said. "When was the last time you saw her do that? Let her be happy." I glanced back at Spike and saw him toss a wink at Tara. She blushed bright red, and I marveled at the dual nature of her. Sometimes Tara was strong and confident, other times she was meeker than a church mouse.
"Let's go get a drink, Xander," Anya suggested. "Then you can stop brooding over Buffy's choice in sexual partners." Xander spluttered as Anya tugged him towards the bar.
"Dance with me?" Spike asked, whispering in my ear. Shivers ran down my spine and I turned around. Nodding, I let Spike lead me away from my friends, towards the dance floor. He led me to a shadowy corner of the floor and wrapped me tight in his arms. Our bodies melded together and I laid my head against his solid chest. I felt him rest his head atop mine, and a deep rumble started in his chest. I leaned my head back to look at him.
"Are you… purring?" I asked.
"No!" he said, affronted. "I do not purr."
"Maybe you don't, baby, but you are," I laughed. He did his best 'grr' face, but the purring didn't stop. "Aw, you're purring like a happy, fluffy kitten," I teased, scratching his stomach.
"I do not purr," he pouted, crossing his arms. That yummy lower lip stuck out, just begging for me to suck on it. So I did. I leaned in and drew his pouty lip between my teeth, sucking on the skin until I could feel his grin.
"Am I forgiven?" I asked, still holding on to his mouth. He laughed a deep, throaty chuckle and kissed me back. "I'll keep your purring between us, okay?" I said against his lips.
"You better," he said. "'S all I need the demon world to find out. Big Bad Master Spike purrs when he's happy with his girl."
"Damn straight he does," I said. "And since the girl you're dating is the Slayer, I think your reputation's kinda shot, baby."
"So we're dating, then?" he asked, cocking his head down at me. "And… did you just call me baby?"
"Couple of times," I laughed. "And yeah, we're dating. I mean, if you want to-"
He cut me off with a hard kiss, his hand at my back pressing me to him. His other hand wound through my hair as I parted my lips to let him in. My hands found their way under his jacket, sliding over the hard planes of his back. If he looked as good naked as he did clothed, I was in trouble. Or he was, 'cuz once I got him out of those jeans, it might be awhile before he got them back on.
He pulled away to let me breathe and rested his forehead against mine. "Yes," he murmured. "I want to be with you, you silly girl. 'S all I've wanted-"
"How long?" I asked. If I was being completely honest, my attraction to him when back to the night in the Bronze, when he told me he'd kill me on Saturday. Before I found out he was a vampire, I had fully intended on going back to find him and chatting him up. After, especially after the disaster with Angel I'd done my best to push my attraction to him away. But every time we fought, it got thrown in my face how well matched we were. Move for move, Spike and I just fit; we worked together.
Then, when he got chipped, I felt such anger at the Initiative for him. The chip was a good thing, ultimately, because it let him be the man instead of the monster, but I couldn't help the seething anger that arose every time I thought about it. Those arrogant, weak humans dared to cage something as wild and beautiful as William the Bloody. But now, as I swayed in his strong arms, I couldn't help but be a little grateful to them. Without that chip, he'd probably still be trying to kill me.
"Since the first time I saw you," he murmured. Okay, so maybe he wouldn't still be trying to kill me. "You were here, dancing with the Scoobies," he said. We were swaying slightly, though the music was too fast for a slow dance.
"Since then?"
"Sweetheart, you've had me since the first second," he said. "The way you move, the way you fight, it's like poetry, pet. How could I not fall in love with you?"
"But you tried to kill me," I pointed out. "Several times."
"I din't say I realized you had me," he said. "I didn't realize what I felt till a couple months ago. Dru did, though. 'S why she left. Said I was 'covered in you'."
"Riley thought we were much closer than enemies should be," I said. He looked surprised. "So you're covered in me, huh? Explains Harmony, then. Had to find yourself a blonde ex-cheerleader, didn't you?"
He groaned. "God, what was I thinking?" I laughed and rested my head on his chest.
"Aw, how nauseating," a voice said from behind us. I spun around to see Glory sneering at us. "Did your girlfriend tend your wounds, vampire?" Her tone was mocking. I felt Spike stiffen behind me, and the soothing purr dissolved into a feral growl. "Y'know, its' a shame I didn't know you two were screwing before," Glory continued. "I would've had more fun torturing the Slayer's fucktoy."
"What do you want, hell bitch?" I growled.
"My Key, duh," she said. "God, are you always this stupid?" She tossed her bad-home-perm hair and put her hands on her hips. "Now, are you going to give me my Key?"
"My plan was actually to kill you," I said cocking one hip and crossing my arms.
"Honey, it'll be a cold day in hell when you or your little book club kills me," she said.
"Looks like it's getting chilly then," I said, snapping a sudden roundhouse to her face. She reeled, and I advanced, trying to get as many hits in as I could. She recovered a lot faster than I expected, and I found myself slumped against the wall from her blow. Spike took my face, his demonic face taking over his human one as he landed blow after blow.
Something started happening to Glory. Spike had her pinned, straddling her hips and pounding her face with his fist. She looked like she was having a seizure or something. Then suddenly, she was Ben, the doctor who'd tried to help my mom. I realized Glory had been wearing hospital scrubs, like the ones Ben usually wore. Spike landed another punch before he realized what happened, and he instantly recoiled with a shout of pain. He clutched his head as he scrambled away from Ben.
"What the bleeding hell?" he growled. I grabbed his arm, pulling him away from Ben. I towed him back to where my friends had gathered.
"Glory," I panted as I helped Spike into a chair. His head was obviously still killing him, because he hadn't shifted out of game face. His demon handled pain better.
"She's here?" Giles asked, jumping to his feet.
"She's Ben," I said. "O-or Ben's her, I dunno. They share the same body or something."
"What's wrong with Spike?" Dawn asked.
"Was hittin' the hell bitch," he growled. "Hell bitch turned into Doctor-boy. Chip fired."
"Wait, huh?" Dawn asked "What about Ben?"
"Ben is Glory, Glory is Ben," I said slowly.
"What?" Dawn asked again. Was she dense?
"She's the Key," Spike said quietly. "Glory coulda done a spell on 'erself t' keep the Key from seein' the fact that her and the doctor are the same."
"Okay, Willow, Tara, I need you to get Dawn out of here," I ordered. "And can you see if there's some kind of spell on Dawn that keeps her from getting the whole Ben-Glory thing?"
"Yeah," Willow said, standing. "Let's go, Dawnie."
"Be safe," I called after them. They all but ran out of the building, not looking back.
"Buffy, I think there is one very important thing we haven't considered," Giles said.
"What?" I asked. I glanced at Spike. He'd shifted back to his human face, but his jaw was set in a way that I knew meant that he was still in pain.
"If Glory and Ben share a body, and Ben is completely human-"
"He is," Spike growled. "Trust me, he's human."
"If he's mortal, he can be killed," Giles said. I frowned deeply and sat down next to Spike.
"You want me to kill a human?" I asked breathlessly.
"He's Glory, Buff," Xander said.
"He's the doctor that tried to save my mom," I countered.
"You'd let one man live and risk the world?" Giles asked.
"Glory wants to kill Dawn," Xander said from his cozy spot next to Anya. I felt Spike's cool hand on my knee, offering whatever support he could. "It's not a hard choice, Buffy."
"If it's so damn easy, you do it!" I yelled, standing. "Slayers do not. Kill. Humans. Or do we all forget Faith?"
"This is not an innocent we're talking about, Buffy," Giles said. "This man is not natural. He is a vessel for the creature that wants you dead."
"No," I said, choking on tears. "I can't."
"Spike," Anya said, moving away from Xander. He looked at her, cocking an eyebrow. "They can't do this. We can."
"Chipped, ducks," he reminded her. "An' I can't beat Glory alone."
"You could hit Ben hard enough to knock him out, right?" Anya asked. Spike nodded, grimacing, probably at the thought of the headache that would result. "I could take care of him if he wasn't fighting back," Anya said.
"Ahn, what are you talking about?" Xander asked.
"I could kill him," Anya said. "He wouldn't be my first, Xander. I've killed thousands. One more won't stain my soul."
"I can't ask you to do that, Anya," I said.
"You don't have to," Anya said. "I like this world. And I like you. You've saved my life numerous times. And Dawn, when she isn't using that whiny voice she gets sometimes, is quite humorous to have around." She smiled at me. "I might not be like Willow, with her book smarts and socially repressed inner monologue, but I know what's right and wrong. And if killing one man is going to save people I care about, I have no problem in doing it."
"Thank-"
"You think you can just run from me?" Glory's voice yelled. I whipped around to see her toss the pool table behind the couch Spike still sat on to the side. A quick pause for the requisite crowd screaming-and-running routine and she crossed the floor to us. Spike leapt over the back of the couch, grabbing her by the throat and tossing her at the stage.
"Go," he ordered me, turning around.
"No, you can't take her on your own," I said, standing in front of him. A ruckus from the stage caught my attention. Arms and legs were emerging from the pile of debris Glory had landed on, but it was Ben that climbed out.
"Leave this to the demons," Anya said, stepping up to Spike's side.
"If Glory comes back out, she could kill you," I argued. Growling in frustration, Spike grabbed me and hauled me to him for a hard, ferocious kiss.
"I love you," he whispered harshly. "I'll be okay. Now go." He pushed me away, and Giles and Xander grabbed my hands, pulling me towards the stairs. We ran to the upper level of the club, watching as Ben climbed awkwardly down from the stage. Spike said something to Anya and shifted into game-face. He clenched his fists and burst into a run at Ben. He hit Ben like a Mack truck, and the sickening sound of bone breaking echoed loudly. Ben slumped lifelessly to the floor as Spike howled in pain. Anya dropped to Ben's side, checking for a pulse. His neck was bent at an awkward angle. Spike was on the floor, both hands pressed to his forehead. I leapt from the balcony, landing next to him like a cat.
"Spike?" I crouched next to him, pressing my hand to his forehead. He wasn't moving. "Spike, open your eyes." Nothing. "C'mon, baby, don't do this. Open your eyes for me, Sweetie." I could barely see through the tears in my eyes. Could the chip kill him? He'd just killed, albeit a righteous kill; could the chip punish him severely enough to dust him?
"Spike, baby, I need you to open your eyes for me," I begged. Slowly, his eyes fluttered open. I'd never been so happy to see those bright blue irises as I did just then. "Hi," I whispered.
"Ow," he said weakly. I chuckled, relieved he was okay. "Did I get 'im?"
"You did good, baby," I said, smiling down at him.
"Buffy, we need to get out of here," Anya said. "Ben's dead, and the cops are on their way."
"Xander, help me," I said, lifting Spike gently. I looped one arm across my shoulders and Xander took the other. "My house," I ordered. Xander nodded, and we made our way out of the club.
By the time we made it to my house, Spike was barely conscious. Xander helped me carry him up to my bedroom and we laid him out on my bed. I pulled off Spike's boots and covered him with a blanket while the Scoobies hovered in the hallway. Spike grabbed for my hand weakly, and I pressed a kiss to his forehead.
"Go to sleep, honey," I said. He nodded tiredly and closed his eyes.
"Is he okay?" Dawn asked once I walked outside and shut the door. I nodded.
"He'll be fine," I said. "He just needs to sleep off the migraine."
"Then what?" Giles asked. "Buffy, he's killed."
I rounded on him. "Because you told me to!" God, I could wring his neck. Sure, it's okay for me to kill a human vessel for a god, and he had no objection to Anya doing it, but when Spike did, I was supposed to kill him for it?
"You're the Slayer, Buffy," Giles said, all too calmly. "It's your job."
"If Anya had been the one to do it, would you have told me to kill her?" I asked. "If I hadn't been able to kill Ben and no one else would do it, would you have killed him, Ripper?" Hurt passed over Giles' face. I couldn't really care less. "You've all killed demons for me before. Why is this different?"
"It's different-"
"Cut the crap, Giles," Willow snapped. "You're pissed because Buffy wants to date Spike, and you don't approve. So now you're reaching. Spike did what needed to be done. We should throw a party for him, not kill him."
"Yes, but-"
"He's not Angel," I said. "He's not going to take off in the middle of the night. And he's sure as hell not Angelus. He's not going to go evil on me and kill us all in our beds. He's not going to lose his soul-"
"If his chip ever deactivates-" Giles started.
"If the chip stops working, we'll deal with it then," I interrupted. "No, scratch that. I'll deal with it. He can be a good man, Giles. I know it." I looked around at the rest of the group. I knew they still weren't completely convinced I was acting rationally about Spike. "You guys didn't see him after Glory tortured him. He was destroyed; he was half-dead. And he was still worried about me and Dawn. He said Glory couldn't know about the Key because losing Dawn would kill me and he couldn't let me get hurt like that. He was bleeding from every part of his body and he kept trying to protect me. Tell me, Giles, would you have taken a beating like that? Would you have died keeping Dawn's secret?"
"What kind of torture he endured is beside the point," he said. "Buffy, he's not a man. He's a vampire."
"And I think I'm falling in love with him," I said quietly. Collective gasps all around.
"Buffy, you can't possibly be serious," Giles said.
"That's funny, 'cuz I am," I said. Giles was staring at me, shock all over his face. "So do it again, Giles. Tell me to kill the man I love. I'm sure Quentin Travers would be very proud of you."
"Buffy, I'm your Watcher, it's my job to protect you," he said.
"Not anymore," I said, almost too quiet for anyone to hear. "I don't need a Watcher anymore, Giles. And I sure as hell don't need a protector."
"What are you saying?" Giles asked. The Scoobies had backed off, now watching from the doorway to Dawn's room.
"I'm saying maybe you're taught me all you can," I said. I saw the hurt pass over his eyes again and I sighed. "Giles, you're the best Watcher I could've asked for. You've been like a father to me and the gang. But I'm not a child, and I don't need you to take me by the hand every time a decision needs to be made."
"I think you're making a mistake," he said.
"Then it's my mistake to make," I said. "Just trust me to know what I'm doing." Giles didn't look convinced. "Please?"
He sighed deeply, eyes darting from my face, to my closed bedroom door, to the floor. "I cannot condone this relationship. But if it's what you want, I will keep my opinions to myself."
"Thank you," I said slowly. Giles pulled me into a very un-Giles-like hug.
"I just worry, you know," he said.
"Yeah, I know," I said. He pulled away, taking off his glasses to clean them. Seriously, did they even get dirty? He cleaned them so much, it's not like they ever had a chance to get anything on them.
"Buffy?" Dawn asked from the doorway.
"Hey," I said. "You okay?"
"Yeah," she said, nodding. She walked towards me and I pulled her into a tight hug. She was safe. She was still the Key, but a crazy hell-god wasn't after her anymore. She could be a normal kid now.
"Buffy," she croaked. "Need those ribs."
"Oh! Sorry," I said, releasing her. "I'm just glad you're safe."
"And it's really over?" she asked.
"Yep, Glory's dead," I said.
"There was a cloaking spell on Dawn," Willow said. "Tara and I lifted it."
"Okay, good," I said. I looked to Dawn. "So you get the whole Glory-Ben thing?"
"Yeah, I mean, it's still weird, but I get it," Dawn said. "And Spike killed Ben, right?"
"Yeah," I said. "He did good. Now he's just gotta sleep off the headache."
"He'll be hungry when he wakes up."
"There's some blood in the freezer," I said. "I think… Mom got it for him."
"We'll have to keep a stock for him," Dawn said. I nodded, smiling. At least I didn't have to fight Dawn over this.
"Dawnster, are you over that little crush of yours?" Xander asked, a little too casually.
"It'd be kind of pointless, now wouldn't it?" she said. "Besides, he's too old for me. And… there's this guy Nick in my English class-"
The door to my bedroom opened. Spike stepped out, bleary-eyed and barefoot. "You lot are a right ruckus, y'know that?" he said huskily.
"Sorry," I said, moving over to stand in front of him. "How do you feel?"
"Like me skull's been cracked in half," he said, rubbing his forehead. I reached a hand up to run it through his hair and he nuzzled against my touch.
"Okay," I said, taking one of his hands in mine. "Guys? Can you go downstairs?" They nodded and moved towards the stairs. I pulled Spike back into my room. "C'mon, you, back to bed." Spike stumbled along behind me, falling into bed as soon as he got close enough to do so. I kicked off my shoes and climbed in next to him.
"'M tired," he mumbled, sprawling on my bed. I chuckled and cuddled up next to him.
"Then go to sleep, Sweetheart," I said. He rolled over to face me.
"Don' wan' sleep alone," he said, looking at me sleepily.
"Lemme change my clothes," I said. I climbed out of bed and padded to the door. I embraced the giddy teenager within me and slid down the banister. "I'm going to bed," I announced as soon as my feet hit the floor. "G'night!" I didn't wait for their answer, instead bolting back upstairs. I locked my door behind me and pulled off my dress.
"Let's get you comfy," I said, sauntering half-naked over to the bed. Spike sat up slowly and I stripped off his jacket and shirt. "Take the belt off but leave the jeans," I said, slipping my arms into the sleeves of his shirt. I fastened up a couple buttons as he unbuckled his belt and slid it out through the loops. Once he was done, Spike dropped the belt to the floor with a clatter.
My hands were shaking as I pushed on his shoulders to make him lie down. I slipped in next to him, sliding under the covers. He kicked and fidgeted until he was under the covers too.
"C'mere," he said, holding his arm out. I scooted over closer, pillowing my head on his bicep. I slipped a leg over his, my foot brushing his skin. "Your feet are cold," he said quietly.
"My feet are cold? You do realize the temperature of your skin, right?" Regardless of how cold he was, I cuddled up close to him. The cold aside, his skin felt so good, so soft and hard at the same time. I ran my hand across his chest, down to the firm flesh of his belly. He really is built like a brick house. I wondered if he was always built like this or if it was a vampire thing.
"You're not sleeping," he mumbled. I looked up at his pretty face. His eyes were closed and that yummy mouth of his was open slightly. I leaned up and pressed a small kiss to his lips.
"Sorry, I'm going to sleep right now," I murmured. He mumbled something incoherent and I cuddled in closer to him, closing my eyes. I was asleep in minutes.
I woke up some time later when the bed dipped down and a solid, cool form pressed against my back. I kept my eyes closed, playing possum, as Spike spooned against me, laying one arm across my waist. His hand splayed on my belly under his shirt. The coolness of his skin had me tingling. I felt his breath on my neck, and he used his other hand to brush the hair out of the way. Cool lips pressed to the skin of the nape of my neck and I couldn't hold back a shiver.
"Where'd you go?" I asked sleepily.
"Was feelin' a bit peckish," he said. "Went downstairs. Niblet left some blood for me in the fridge."
"How's your head?" I asked, turning around to face him. He reached a hand up to brush the hair off my face.
"Better," he said, leaning in. He kissed first one corner of my mouth, then the other. He'd started purring again. "Wakin' up next to you 'll cure all ills."
"Glad I could be of service," I murmured. He hummed in response, kissing the tip of my nose, my forehead, and both of my eyes.
"You're absolutely perfect, you know that?" he breathed. I reached up to grab his head and force his lips to mine. He moaned low in his throat and opened his mouth to let me in. His hand slipped under my shirt, coming to rest at the small of my back. I moved my leg up over his hip, anchoring him to me as his tongue stroked mine. The hand on my back moved to my knee, sliding higher slowly. When he got to my ass and squeezed firmly, I broke away from the kiss with a gasp.
"Wait, Spike," I gasped. "Stop." He pulled away immediately, his eyes searching my lust-clouded ones.
"What's wrong?" he asked, frowning.
"I'm just… I'm not ready," I said. His frown faded, his eyes softening.
"Okay, love," he said. "All you had to do was say so."
"Really?" I asked, amazed. "You're okay with waiting?"
"What good would it do if I forced you to do something you're not ready for?" he asked. "If and when you give yourself to me, I want it to be on your terms, pet. I'll wait an eternity if I 'ave to."
God, I loved him. The way he said that, completely truthful- because Spike is a terrible liar- was so wonderful and perfect. No man had ever thought about what I wanted like that. Angel, during my disastrous deflowering, had been sweet and loving, but once you got him started, he didn't really stop. And Riley had always been worried about me while we had sex, constantly asking if what he was doing was good, if I liked it. But the first time we were together wasn't really on my terms. He'd slept with Faith when she was in my body, and then he got it into his head that the best solution was to show me how much he cared with his body. So, even though I wasn't really ready, I slept with him. And let's not even mention that asshole Parker.
"Thank you," I breathed, kissing him chastely. "I promise I won't keep you waiting for an eternity."
"Good, cuz I'm not sure I could last that long," he chuckled. I laughed quietly with him, nuzzling his nose with mine.
"I'm not ready for all of it, but I wouldn't be opposed to second base," I murmured, rubbing the back of his leg with my heel.
"'S that right?" he said, curling his tongue behind his teeth. The next thing I knew, I was flat on my back and he was unbuttoning my shirt while he pressed wet kisses down my throat. His palms found my breasts and I arched into his touch.
I moaned his name as quietly as I could. One hand slid beneath the cup of my bra to glide over my sensitive nipple as he sucked on my pulse point. I'd probably have a hickey in the morning, but that was okay. He continued to worship my skin with his mouth and hands until we both got sleepy again. We drifted off wrapped in each other, snuggled deep in the covers.