CHAPTER FIVE: Repost this or die in ten minutes!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to Lavender Mansworth for the idea for this chapter. Here's more useless fiction for ya'll.
DISCLAIMER: Just the very prescence of a disclaimer should clue you in that I don't claim any of it.

Lord Voldemort, supreme ruler of Wizard-kind strode into the elegant mansion. He passed his cloak carelessly to a nearby house elf and proceeded to greet people. Whose sodding idea was it to have a surprise birthday party for Vincent Crabbe Sr. anyway? Voldemort looked around to see Lucius yelling at some of the 'hired help'. Ah thought Voldemort with a sneer, it was Lucius' idea! Makes sense, it is his mansion after all…Note to self: inflict punishment.

Voldemort mingled at the food table for a couple of minutes helping himself to a gracious platter of cocktail wieners, appetizer shrimp, a glass of sparkling cider and these peculiar things called pizza bagels. Voldemort was greatly displeased at the food choices. "Lucius" he snapped irritably "Do you think this could be anything less like a 14th birthday at the Weasley household?"

Lucius' pale cheeks flushed a bit displeased that his master was displeased. "Just try and enjoy yourself. Crabbe should be here any minute, find a hiding place."

"What?" Voldemort said, in disgust with the concept. Voldemort did nothing of the sort; he stalked off into the adjoining room, sat on a couch in the corner and pulled his laptop out from the briefcase he carried. Yes, Voldemort as of late, carried a briefcase (discretely hidden by dark as night robes). Everyone was so busy mingling that nobody paid him much mind. He looked around, shifty eyed, and when it was safe to do so he turned on the computer and logged into Myspace.

"New friends request!" he muttered excitedly. He accepted: another victim. Yess.

Voldemort then proceeded (still cautious that someone might catch him) to read the bullitens. Voldemort had a hidden fascination with the bulletins – he was then struck with brilliance. Let's terrorize my Myspace friends with swarms of bulletins.

He posted one after the other. The latest was one titled "BLACK". There was a series of colours to choose from which correlated with the bulletin-poster's love life. The point was to pick a colour and make it the title…therefore letting a bunch of people (who really don't care, believe me) your status. "Repost or you'll die in ten minutes!" He shouted at the monitor, a bit louder then he would have liked.

A curious death eater wanna-be looked over, Voldemort glared. The curious death eater scuttled away and Voldemort remained fumed. Whoever posted this had some audacity!

Nonetheless, the dark lord reposted.

He reposted sex jokes, name of favorite song (and then add penis to the end) bulletins, and his all time favorite: the COMMENT MY PICTURES! bulletins. By the time dinner was being called at Malfoy Manor, Lord Voldemort had posted at least 20 bulletins consecutively.

Unfortunatley as he was about to log-out he found several of his minions had been looking over his shoulder. "Where did you lot come from?" he said, defensively.

"Just going to dinner, you should come too Master" said one of the bolder ones.

"Alright, alright…" Voldemort relented, still upset he was caught.

Narcissa soon caught up with him, nervousness in her voice. "How has this…site…helped you to destroy Muggles?"

Voldemort authorized his evil laugh. "Oh, Narscissa you foolish woman! I'm simply accomodating myself, seeming friendly and innocent. Just you wait, soon I'm going to pretend I'm a young, attractive Muggle and try and get kids to meet me in person …and then I'll kill them."

Narcissa didn't say anything, she looked at him with disbelief as if to say you've gone completely, and entirely mad but that's okay because I really don't have any choice but to follow you. "There's a 6-foot sub in the other room, Master."

"Oh, goody."

2nd AUTHOR'S NOTE: Anyone have an idea for something they'd like to hear? Any favourite myspace activities or quirks you'd like to read about the death eaters engaging in? I'm up for suggestions so fire away.