Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and the Philosphers Stone, J.K. Rowling does, I am not making any money off this fic, just having fun messing around with Harry Potters Life and trying to make people laugh as all of us have been dazzled by the amazing humour of some of the better Harry Potter omakes in the past. I am aware that most of my fics are crap but I try not to let it get to me, just read and laugh either at my poor writting or at the fics content itself.

Harry Potter and the Dead Troll

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"You know they really should be more careful when writing the rules on spells you know."

"Harry that wasn't a spell it was a curse. More than that it was the killing curse!"

"Well I'd like to see you take down a troll with only Wingardium Leviosa at your disposal. What was I meant to do knock it out with its own club or something?"

"…"

"Hey wait that would have been a good idea."

"Harry I can't believe you."

"Oh don't worry mione, it can't hurt us any more."

"…

Why are you glaring at me like that?"

"Mione?"

"Well yeah its your name but…. Shortened, makes it easier to say."

"Alright…. Oh and Harry the reason the Troll can't hurt us anymore is its dead."

"I still don't see why this is so much of a problem for you, besides you already told me that its only illegal when used on humans, and last time I checked Trolls aren't classified as humans. Besides it was the only spell I knew that might take down a Troll, if it took down my parents in one shot then why wouldn't it work on a Troll. And Whilst we're on the subject all spells can kill people. If I levitated that Troll off a cliff and dropped it not only would it kill whoever it landed on but I'm pretty sure it would die too."

"… I think I can see why people avoid you Harry."

"What do you mean?"

"Surely you've noticed that you only have Ronald as a friend."

"Yeah what's wrong with that I've never had a friend before."

"…"

"Hermione why are you going teary-eyed? Why are you walking like that and ….. ack."

"Don't worry Harry I'm here for you."

"Hermione can't breath…. oxygen going…. suffocating now….. let go…… please….. " hey every things going black……

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I thought it was funny.

Oh wait I'm the author of this fic, of course I thought it was funny.

Note: This is a SA fic its sepperate from my others as it is a collection of oneshots mainly based on the original HP verse.