CHAPTER EIGHT: Surprise attacks.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: If anyone cares, sorry for the delay in writing more. It took me awhile to come up with more myspace related things and Death Eater scenarios. Naturally the two aren't supposed to mix very well. Enjoy the pointlessness and thanks to all who reviewed so far.
DISCLAIMER:If these characters were mine, I'd be famous. And seeing as none of you have heard of me…I'm not famous, so therefor these characters are not mine. Get it?
Lord Voldemort, one hell of an evil guy, was perched on a red and white checkered tablecloth outside in the Malfoy's backyard. He had this ingenious idea that a bout of fresh air may help them come up with ideas to defeat the Order of the Pheonix, destroy impure bloodlines and satisfy their craving to defy all things moral. Narcissa graciously offered her lawn.

Now, after careful thought…he deeply regretting this ingenious descision. He did not like the feel of the tablecloth on the grass. More so, said grass was currently irritating his crotch. He had better things to be doing, namely, checking his Myspace. He decided however, to put up a good front for the rest of the Death Eaters. After all, he is their Master and he ought to be present at every meeting, dictating every word. He pretended to listen intently.

"Let's set Gryndelows loose on a Hogsmeade weekend" butted in Crabbe.

"Crabbe, please." Insisted Bellatrix "that's absurd"

" – an insult to the inventiveness of the Death Eaters" murmured another.

"Nifflers!" exclaimed Goyle.

"What?" Dolohov retorted in shock. "Those treasure seeking creatures?"

Mr. Goyle nodded.

Lord Voldemort muttered something about unforgivable curses under his breath, but everyone heard and turned to look at him. "Master, we need your imput." You need a lot more then that Voldemort thought to himself in spite.

"A surprise attack." Voldemort replied, after a few seconds of silent thought.

"Who are we going to attack?"

"Beauxbatons."

"Why?" asked Snape.

"Why not?"

"Can we attack Hogwarts instead?" another chimed in.

"- No!" Narcissa exclaimed. "I will not put my son in jeopardy."

"Plus, I'd much like to keep my job." Snape seethed.

More murmurs rung thorought the crowd of cloaked evil-doers.

"Nifflers in Beauxbatons." Crabbe whispered to Goyle.

Goyle chuckled. "They won't know what hit 'em!"

At this, Voldemort realised he didn't care about the welfare of this meeting any longer.

He apparated home, leaving several confused followers staring in response.

When the Dark Lord reached the confines of his home, he grabbed a glass of water and turned on his computer, logged into myspace and answered several myspace messages before doing the unthinkable…he preformed a Myspace search. "You'd think I'd have more clever ways of locating my enemies" Voldemort said in spite of himself as he typed Harry Potter's name in the search bar.

A lot of Harry Potters came up in the results. How could Harry Potter possibly make this many Myspaces?

Was it possible that Harry Potter was a bigger myspace addict then He? If so, he couldn't allow that. Not to mention…it was going to be hard to terrorize and befriend Harry Potter if all of these Myspaces belonged to him.

"I guess I'll have to befriend them all."

So he did. One by one he "added to friend's list" and proceeded to send threatening emails.

One of Harry's Myspaces was quick to respond to the threatening messages.

"I'm going to write to Myspace Tom and have your account deleted for harassing me."

Voldemort was furiated. "Myspace Tom?"

By the time he was finished with replying to the email, he had made a choice. He was going to find this Myspace Tom, who apparently had power over all things myspace – and take over. He was going to find where Myspace Tom lives…a little surprise attack of his own.

And then, he supposed he should concentrate on Order of the Phoenix, and it's downfall.

Reviews are always appriciated, especially if they come with your requests. I write best when others enjoy it so if you'd have an idea you'd find enjoyable...request it! And I'll do it...unless it's something terribly stupid, but I have faith that it won't be.