CHAPTER NINE: Voldemort takes action (and fails)!

AUTHOR'S NOTE:This chapter has to do with the idea of Myspace Tom, but I don't believe you're allowed to incorperate real life individuals in a fanfiction story so I never actually said it was myspace Tom. So for all anyone knows Voldemort could have simply fucked up and got some random character I made up.
DISCLAIMER: Hey, it's not mine. Myspace isn't nor any of JK Rowling's creations.

Knock, knock, knocccck!

The last knock must have surely rang throughout the house. Voldemort was growing weary and his fist was growing redder. Knock! Knock!

Finally a man answered the door wearing a plain white cotton t-shirt and a pair of plaid pajama pants. Voldemort eyed the clothing in repulsion, and the man did likewise when he saw Voldemort. What did he expect knocking on the door? The girlscouts of America? Voldemort scowled under his breath when he caught the man's stare. I'm the Dark Lord for crying out loud. It doesn't get much prettier then this.

"Who are you?" the cotton t-shirt wearer asked.

"Tom Marvolo Riddle. But you may call me Master."

"No, I'd rather not."

"Hm." Voldemort expected this answer. "We'll work on that. Are you the creator of all things Myspace?"

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not."

"This isn't a game. If you are, I plan to take over."

"How did you find this house?" he said, suspciously.

"Map-quest."

The man laughed and Voldemort didn't quite get it.

"Why are you laughing?"

"I'm going to call the cops."

Voldemort still didn't get it. "Where is the bloody humour in that?"

The stranger shrugged and picked up a strange device from his pant pockets, pressed a few buttons which seemed to speak to him after a few ringing noises.

Voldemort bickered with the man a little bit more, and stalled as he usually did when it came to killing, conquering or getting his evil way. This was most unfortunate for him because minutes later he found himself bound with his arms behind his back, shackled with these cold metal…things. "GET OFF ME!"

He reached for his wand, but couldn't.

He put up a fight the entire way, knowing that if he only had his wand he could remove unfortunate metal shackles, destroy his kidnappers and escape into the unknown. Damn these Muggles…they needed to be destroyed for a reason.

A half hour of struggling led him to a temporary jail cell in a muggle town he never heard of. It was time to call in the outside help. He called upon the Death Eaters, hoping that whole "arm-burning gig" would still work from a Muggle cell.

Within minutes familiar faces began to appear out of nowhere and many were shocked at the sight they saw upon Apparation.

"Master?" several of them questioned.

"Just…alohamora that lock."

McNair pointed at the lock and shrugged as if to say "This one? You sure?"

"YES! What are you, a first year Hufflepuff? Just do it!"

He did and Voldemort was very, very proud.

Next he summoned for another follower. "Get these off my hands."

"But, master…" Bellatrix started "how did you get…"

"Not now!"

Bellatrix preformed a curse to break the handcuffs and the Dark Lord reached for his wand. Much better he thought contently. Several Muggles in nearby cells had been looking on. Voldemort embraced his wand, directed it towards them and shouted 'AVADA KEDAVRA!'

After the bodies fell, Voldemort instructed the Death Eaters to preform the killing curse on any witness that might have witnessed them.

As they made their way farther into town, Voldemort decided he was being silly…he could just apparate back. If they got there by apparation, return by such a method would be just as quick and efficient. Death Eater Headquarters was a welcoming sight for our dear Dark Lord. No sooner then expected, however, he was bombarded with eager questions from his followers. How did the most powerful Wizard of all time (second to Dumbledore, but he's dead so whatever) manage to get arrested by small town police officers?

"I was" coughcoughcough "I was…trying to take over Myspace!" He finished, definatley. "I map-quested the supposed inventor of the site, Myspace Tom. I figured my name is Tom and his name is Tom…no one would know the difference. We're both brunettes…that's beside the point."

"What is the point?" asked Fenrir Greyback.

"Leave him alone!" Wormtail butted in. "It was my idea."

Several groans echoed through-out the room as if it all made sense now.

"You followed his plans, again, Master?" Lucius gasped in disbelief.

"You lot haven't come up with anything.You never do. It's always me." Voldemort felt bitter.

"Good point" chorused a few.

"Let's have another meeting" said another.

The dismal prospect of another failed Death Eater braindstorming session was enough to make him wish he were still shackled and caged in a foreign territory. This myspace thing is a lot more trouble then it's worth Voldemort grimaced. I should never have gotten that Dell Pentium processing laptop computer. Another bright idea of Wormtail's. I must think, and I must think fast.

I must kill Wormtail.

This chapter is a bit different then all of the other ones because Voldemort isn't actually on myspace, but it is Myspace related. I figured it'd be good to break from the traditional plot for a chapter, just so it doesn't get too redundant. Buttt I do need some more Myspace themed ideas, because that's the whole point of this story. and once again...if you'd like to add the Dark Lord to your very own Myspace simply search "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" (the default name) or type in the myspace homepage /ilovethedarkmark and add Volders to your friends list.