Things had certainly changed. I guess my outburst last night made Edward see things a little more my way. I had awful about it. I didn't mean to yell at him. It was really stupid to get mad because of something like that. Sex was supposed to suck the first time anyway. I knew it would hurt. I didn't care. How could it get better if you didn't practice. I had never thought about sex so much until I got with Edward. Something about him just made me crazy. I wanted him so bad. I almost felt dirty. Almost.

When I unbuttoned his pants I thought he would stop me. He didn't. He just kissed me. The kiss was so passionate. I wondered what it was that I had missed over night. Just as I started to pull his pants down he grabbed them and pulled them off faster than I ever could have. I was a little nervous. I was so used to him stopping that I never expected this. Was I really ready for this? Edwards hands moved under me. He was taking my bra off. This answered my question. I was so ready for this. I was a little embarrassed as he threw my bra and looked down at me. He must have liked what he saw because he kissed me more fiercely than before. He grinded his waist against mine and I felt something I wasn't expecting. Edward was no little boy. This was going to hurt really bad if he was packing something like that. Of course, when he pushed against me again, that thought was gone. All thought was gone. My body arched against his and I moaned. I couldn't help it. Edward kissed down my neck and back up. Both times I felt him hesitate. It was only a second but I felt it. I wasn't scared but I could the scare on my neck tingle. When he kissed there it was amazing. I had never felt anything like it.

"Bella…I want…"

"Please…please don't stop now."

"You want me to, trust me."

"Edward…if you bit me, could you stop…?"He looked down at me.

"I cant do that…no."

I reached up and kissed him. Then I took my panties off.

His eyes widened. He took a deep breath and I knew he was smelling me.

His boxers were the only thing left between us. I reached down and grabbed them. He closed his eyes and growled. It wasn't a bad sound. So I pulled them. When they were all the way off we stared at each other. This moment was big for both of us. Edward was just as much a virgin as I was. He had no more experience than me. That was a little comforting. Even if he had taken more sex education classes than me.

"Bella I am not going to bite you. If this does turn bad and I attack you, scream as loud as you can. Let the others know."

"Yeah like I want them seeing me naked."

"If I'm killing you, I don't think it will matter much."

We stared at each other again. My body ached for him but I was scared. I think he was too.

"I love you Bella."

"I love you too Edward."

He wrapped his arms around me and began to press himself against me. My body wanted him in. I needed to feel him. I knew that taking this slow was probably safer but there was that little part of me that just wanted him to go at it. I felt so perverted. When he finally entered me I was no longer happy. The pain was intense. It wasn't like the pain when he attacked me. It was burning. It stung every part of my insides. I held in the scream that threatened to burst out. I was barely aware that Edwards breathing had started to get fast. He moved faster. Each time he plunged into me it hurt worse. I thought it was supposed to get better. Tears ran down my cheeks but I kept silent. I knew this would happen and I wanted it. The deep growl from Edward brought me out of my thoughts. His eyes were dark. I was reminded of the Edward from before. The one that lured me into the woods. I knew this had to stop.

"Stop…please."

He growled again but slowed a little.

"Edward, I cant take it any more. It hurts."

He lowered his head and placed it against my neck. At first I was afraid that he would bite me but then his thrusts slowed and stopped. His whole body was trembling. He was still inside me and it hurt but not as bad.

"I'm sorry Bella."

"No don't be. Its supposed to hurt the first time. For me anyway. You should be just fine."

"I am. I didn't want to hurt you. I almost hurt you more."

"But you didn't. I knew you wouldn't."

His body shook violently for a moment then he leaned up to look at me.

"Was this what you wanted?""Yes…I'm just so happy that it gets better."His face looked ashamed for a moment then he smiled. As he pulled out I gasped. It was just one last blossom of pain. Then I was just sore.

Edward pulled me into the water with him. I didn't really want to move that much so we just sat there. The water barely came past my waist but it was comforting. Edward held onto me. I knew he was unhappy that I was hurt. It wasn't that bad though. It already wasn't as sore. He was kissing the back of my neck. It was so soothing. I leaned back against his chest. I was getting cold and that wasn't helping but I couldn't stay away from him. I just wanted to be in his arms.

"Bella you're shaking. I think we should get dressed and head back.""I don't want to go back. I bet they heard us, its embarrassing.""We have all spent our lives…well existences hearing each other in many ways. That happens to be one of them. Its nothing new for them even if it is for us."

"Still…"

"It will be fine."

He stood up and helped me out of the water. We didn't bother waiting to dry off, our upper halves were already dry anyway. Edward was dressed in a literal second, it took me a few minutes. I felt stupid for being so slow. The walk back to camp went too fast. I knew my face was red as the others came into view. Emmett didn't say anything but he was smiling much to wide. Carlisle nodded as we sat down.

"Edward, we were going to do a bit of sport hunting. Did you want to join us?"

I looked at Alice, confused.

"Its when we hunt just for the enjoyment of hunting, we don't really need to eat yet."

"Oh."

Edward thought for moment. I wondered if he and Carlisle were having one of those silence conversations that always occurred between him and Alice.

"I think Bella wants me to stay with her tonight.""Edward you can go if you want. I don't want you to miss out on the fun because of me."Carlisle smiled at me.

"This wont be the only time, he go with us next time."

Edward nodded and put his arm around me.

The rest of the family stood and left. Again it was just Edward and I. I was glad he didn't leave. I did want him with me. For some reason I felt like I wanted to cry. Maybe it was the change I had just made. Honestly I didn't feel that different but I knew that my relationship with Edward was going to be different. Then I remembered one of the most important things I had learned in all those sex classes. I jumped up and turned to Edward.

"Oh my god!"

"What?"

He looked panicked.

"We…wait I don't…can you…"

"Bella what are you talking about? You aren't making any sense."

"We didn't use a…condom…"

I was so freaked out. But I didn't know if Edward could even get me pregnant. I had always assumed that he could. I knew that female vampires couldn't carry because they couldn't change but what about males?

"Bella its fine, you don't need to worry about it."

"Why? I mean you said before that…"

"I don't mean that you never have to worry about it but you don't this time."

I was confused. He must have seen that.

"I didn't…obviously we stopped before…"

"Oh."

"Yeah.""Wow I must suck."

"What?""I must suck if you didn't…get anywhere."

"Bella that is ridiculous. You forget that I was trying to focus on not killing you. Its not that you did anything wrong."

I still felt a little bad. I was okay with it sucking for just me but I didn't want it to be bad for Edward too. He grabbed my hand and pulled me down to sit next to him again.

"You are exceptional. We just need to get better at it."

He winked at me and I couldn't help but smile.

Then I remembered what I wanted to know.

"So you can…reproduce?"

He stared at the fire for a few seconds before answering.

"Well Carlisle believes that we can. The males anyway. We are frozen as we were when we were changed. That would mean that my sisters can never carry a child. Their bodies cannot change. But my brothers and I were already sexually mature so we should be able to have children with a human."

"So next time we do anything, we should use protection?"

"I think that would be best."

"Have any vampires ever had children with humans?"

"We aren't sure, there are legends. No vampire that we know of has any children."

"Hmm.""What?"

"I was just wondering what a half vampire would be like."

"Carlisle wonders that very same thing. He was concerned about the same thing you were. He thinks that a vampire pregnancy would be very dangerous for the mother."

"Is that what you were doing earlier? Answering his mind?"

"Yes, we do that often. He wanted to make sure that we were being safe. We will be from now on. I shouldn't have let myself so that with you unprotected."

I had never really thought about having children. It wasn't in my plans. It was interesting to think about though. I wasn't going to try it. I was already a parent to my mother, I didn't need kids.

"Bella do you want children?"

"Edward I am 17 years old. I have never even thought about that."

"I have."

"You want kids?""I don't really know, I guess I did. It could just be the fact that I wont have children that makes me want them."

I felt sort of bad for him. I was perfectly capable of having kids. He could have them if he wanted to.

"Why haven't you ever tried to have a baby if you wanted one?"

"I don't just want a child, I want a family. The whole mother, father, and baby deal."

"Oh."

"Its too dangerous anyway. The legends that we have found say that the mother never survives the birth."

"If they are legends, doesn't that mean they happened a long time ago? Couldn't the lack of medical knowledge be the reason the mothers didn't survive?"

"Of course it could. We really just don't know and I'm not willing to risk anyone's life to find out. Especially yours."

"That's fine with me, I don't know that I want kids. I wouldn't be a very good mom.""I'll bet that you would be.""Sure."He kissed my forehead.

"It doesn't matter. We can be happy with just us.""I'm happy with just us. You're all I want.""You don't know how it makes me feel to hear you say that."

"I hope it makes you feel the same way I feel.""You were right."

"About what?""We are a very twisted couple."

"I know."