Thump.
Thump. Thump.
Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump.
Torrent's talking to me, but his words don't register. He sounds apologetic though. All I hear is my heartbeat.
Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump.
Skyra is shaking my shoulders now.
How many lies have I been told?
All of this.
All of this started off as an adventure. Has it been just a-
-farce, Alex, dear.
That voice again.
I know you, I walked with you once, upon a dream.
My head hurts. Am I going through shock?
Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump.
I know you, the gleam in your eyes is such a familiar gleam.
Where have I heard this song before? A music box?
And I know it's true, that visions are seldom all they seem.
But if I know you...
I'll know what you'll do!
You'll... love me. At once.
Like the day you did once, upon a dream...
"NO!" My shriek tears the air, rips the silence into shreds. My hair is strung with dewdrops, but I'm warm from Torrent's jacket and from the fire crackling as if nothing is wrong.
His hands, warmer than the air, but still cool, clutch my shoulder and then my face.
"Lexa?" and then he is pulling, pulling me into his arms, more of a father than my father ever was, more of blood than my own. "You alright? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you like that. I was angry and-"
"No more!" I bark, wrapping my arms around his neck, burying my face into his shoulder. "I don't want any more lies! Everybody has been lying to me! I am part of everybody's agenda, except my own, and it stops today!"
"Lexa-"
"No more, Torrent! We are going after my father! We are going to ask him exactly what is my family's involvement in this! We are going to ask why he didn't contact us for twelve years and we are going to ask him how exactly Ash died!"
"Lexa, I don't think-"
I pull back to glare at him and he flinches from the sting of fire in my eyes. As inflammable as he is, I am not a petty flame.
I am an inferno. I am hell.
"You will come with me. You will help me find my father," I order. There is no yield in my voice, but his face softens and he nuzzles into my cheek.
"I would follow you even after the stars stopped shining," his breath is warm against my ear, "I don't need the light to see you. You don't need to worry about me following you. But Lexa, what if your dad won't speak to you?"
"We will make him speak, with any method."
"You will become a monster."
I grit my teeth and do not say a word. The tears that trail down my face are hot, as if they know my insides are blazing. Torrent patiently wipes them away, one by one.
More of a father than my own.
More of blood than my blood.
"Would you love me even if I became a monster?"
Storm-cloud eyes rage a war inside his head.
"I would," he replies and I feel my heart settle in my ribcage.
"And you wouldn't lie to me?"
"I would only lie to keep you safe."
"Don't lie to me."
"I would only lie to keep you safe," he repeats, stroking his lips over my knuckles.
Then, because of my heart thumping against my ribcage, I follow its direction to lean up and kiss his mouth, my hands sitting on my lap like two broken birds. I taste salt and sun.
After a moment, he nudges me away gently.
"That's only for boyfriends, Lexa."
"Then I wish you were my boyfriend!" My voice sounds harsher than I mean it to be. I kiss him again, and he pushes me away again.
"No, you don't," he says, blotting my eyes, "you're scared and you're starved for love and your mind is all mixed up. Your heart is confused and trust me, I know. I can feel it. I know you. There's a hole in your chest. You want someone, Lexa. But not me," he rubs his nose with mine.
"Then who are you? To me?" I hiccup, furiously wiping my eyes. "What are you here for? Why do you love me so much?"
"Because you chose me," he says simply. "And you are my other half."
And so I understand.
The days pass.
Moments fill our time. The white flash of Aiden's teeth against his dark skin. The way Briar starts to smell sweeter as summer progresses. Torrent's voice in a lullaby. The first time Skyra doesn't immediately snap at Skye when she calls her Mommy.
Also, a brief afternoon spent with Stephan, who talks about his work and asks, timidly, how his older brother is doing. And in the back of my mind is Wally's face, looking out through a window when we loop through Verdanturf. He puts his hand to the glass, briefly. Before I can blink, he's gone, leading me to wonder if I had imagined him.
Days.
On a cable car ride to the top of Mt. Chimney, Briar finally reminds me.
"It's been longer than a month, you know," he says, looking out the window. I'm leaned against him, but when he speaks, I jolt upright. He doesn't look at me. "You can go home now, if you want to. The portal's open."
My mother's and grandfather's face flashes before my mind. But they are the only people that do. So many more things hold me to this world.
I shake my head.
"I want to find out what happened to Ash. I don't want to be ignorant anymore. I want to know. And-" Here, I falter. "But I never asked what you guys wanted. I know Torrent would follow me. And so would Skyra, because she wants to get stronger. But I don't know about anyone else." The silence fills the car. "Would you?"
It is a long time before he answers, still turned away.
"Dying is very frightening. To think that'll I'll stop all deductive thought someday terrifies me. But then I think, what's the use of my mind if I can't use it? Where would I go if you released me? What would I become? Pieces are truly incomplete without their C-Keys. I think I would much rather die than be reverted to the state where I couldn't think." He stops, letting the swaying creak of the car fill the air again. "But that's all ghastly in it's own way, too. To think that I would one day have something to fear more than death and to fear death itself..." Finally, he turns to me, amusement in his eyes, and pulls me onto his lap. "Don't listen to me. I don't know what I'm saying, Baby Girl."
"You always know what you're saying."
"Hm."
"I wouldn't have to release you. I could keep you has a Piece, but you could go out into the world, do what you wan-"
"I won't leave you, Darling. Not like this. Not in the middle of this mess. Maybe after, after your end. After what you think should be the finale of your story, maybe then I'll go traveling with Skyra." Then, in a much more fragile, smaller voice, "I want to see you grow up, Alexa. Don't deny me that right."
More of blood than my own.
When the doors slowly open, I take a deep breath.
"Ready?" I ask.
"When am I not?" he answers, and steps out. I immediately let everyone out of their PENs.
"Hey, you can't come up here!" one of the many grunts, both on Team Magma and Aqua, tries to stop me, but one snarl from Aiden and he backs away, more annoyed than scared. None of them pay me any attention and just turn back to their conversations.
Red and blue swirl together. They aren't fighting. They're speaking, laughing like old friends.
I walk a couple of meters, but no one seems willing to battle.
"Aren't you guys gonna stop me?" I finally say aloud. Once girl in Team Magma looks over her shoulder in disgust.
"Your Pieces are obviously stronger than ours. Why would we send them into a battle that will definitely kill them? Might as well let our Leaders take care of you," she sniffs and turns back.
"Weird," Torrent comments, keeping close to me.
It smells like sulfur, rotten egg smells pervading the air. There is no real road, but there definitely is a path up the side of the mountain, hedged in by monstrous rocks, acrid smoke, and glimpses of an abyss that falls into a lake of lava.
"Ready to meet your maker?" Aiden asks drily.
"Hilarious," Torrent deadpans.
As expected, it isn't my maker who we meet first.
"Maxie," I call out. When he sees me, his eyebrows twitch slightly.
"Alexandra? Why am I not surprised to see you here?"
"I guess you haven't heard of the emerald version. I don't really understand why this world echoes it. But anyway, that's not why I came here. I came here-"
"-looking for me," says a quiet voice, and Archie steps out from behind a rock cropping.
Thump.
It takes all my willpower for the breath to stop catching in my throat.
"No, we came here to get the Meteorite," Briar spits, his lips curling, "You, on the other hand, we can care less about."
Good thing I have Briar.
Archie simply smiles, rubbing his beard.
"You've aged," he says.
"And you've aged poorly," I retort.
"I'm sure you have many questions."
"Not really. We just came here for the Meteorite."
"Listen, Alexa-"
"-don't say my name!" And I will not cry. I refuse to cry in front of someone who hasn't, in my memory, ever seen me cry. I refuse to break in front of him but the sound of my name coming from the mouth of my father, my father.
His eyes, that which echo mine, are soft. We have the same arching eyebrows, I think. The same dimples.
"Alexa-"
"You let us grow up alone! Without a dad who taught me how to ride a bike or to defend myself! You left me all alone against a brother who hit me and mom. And I still find that I love him more than you!"
"I'm-"
"NO!" I shout, jabbing a finger at him. "DON'T SAY THAT YOU'RE SORRY! BECAUSE UNLESS YOU GO HOME RIGHT NOW, STRAIGHT BACK TO MOM, YOU AREN'T REALLY SORRY!"
Years and years of loneliness. Years and years of empty Father's Days. Years and years of teachers whispering their pity into my ears.
There is silence as I struggle to control my breathing and to blink back the tears. Torrent touches my back briefly, but they know this part, at least, is mine alone.
"Alexa-"
"-I have been electrocuted by a child maniac. I have been called a shiftless vagrant. I have had my friends die in my arms. And yet," I whisper, "and yet, I do not hate anyone more than I hate you." And I see how that hurts him. I see him recoil slightly, as if my words were physical. And I have a small sense of satisfaction to see that he cannot respond. "Why are you here? Why didn't you tell me about this secret life of yours? How did Ash die?"
But all he does is shake is head slowly.
"What, is it all still a secret?" My voice is bitter.
He continues to shake his head.
"I thought you were raised better than this."
"YOU DIDN'T RAISE ME AT ALL!" I shriek and run up to him to grab handfuls of his shirt, yanking, jerking. "YOU WERE NEVER THERE IN MY LIFE!" I kick him in the knee, hard enough so that he falls. Immediately, my elbow connects with his face. "YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER. YOU ARE NOT ANYONE TO ME."
I don't remember how many times I hit him or kick him, or who finally pulls me off, but the next thing I know, I am being physically restrained by Skyra, who murmurs the wind into my hair. There is blood splattered on my arm and on my clothes.
Then, there is a voice talking to me, calling my name. When I look toward my left, I see Briar crouched, looking at me.
"You okay there, Baby Girl?"
My tongue is too slow to speak. Everything feels syrupy.
"Alexa, can you hear me?"
In the corner of my eye, I see Archie start to get up, holding his nose. Maxie doesn't seem to have moved from his spot.
I swim through the haze enough to utter one phrase:
"Battle me."
Archie turns his head.
"Battle me."
"You've already-" but I am already interrupting Aiden with a shake of my head.
"No. I haven't hurt him enough. He need to hurt. He needs to be in pain."
"And who is it that can determine how much he hurts?" Skyra questions. "You?"
"If I battle you," Archie manages to say, pinching his nose shut, "will you go home?"
The syrup clears and I raise my head, my lips lifting in a snarl.
"If you win, I will go home."
"Not a wise idea, Archie."
Archie takes out a PEN with his free hand.
"Since when have we practiced wisdom, brother?"
But then, I remember the Team Aqua boy, clutching his dead Piece. I remember the horrified expression on his sister's face. I remember how Archie - no... my father... I remember how my father's face twisted in that momentary grief.
"No."
Archie stops.
"No," I repeat, slowly, "I can't fight you."
"We're stronger," Briar says quietly.
"But we're not killers," I reply. "We'll slaughter them, and I don't want their blood on my hands." I look at Torrent, his mouth raised in a half-smile. "We're not killers."
"No," Torrent agrees, taking my outstretched hand, "We are not killers."
Is it the right decision? Maybe not, but it is my decision.
I brush past Archie and hold out a hand to Maxie.
"I need the Meteorite, uncle."
Expressions flicker across his face; I can't tell which. Without a word, he put the rough, grey stone in my palm and folds my fingers over it. When I try to pull away, he keeps his hands around mine.
"Child-"
"-I'm not a child anymore, uncle. I wish I were, but I'm not."
He smiles, conceding, and releases me.
"May the world give you everything you ask for," his voice is soft. He looks at me the way my mom used to look at me when I was sick in bed. A cool hand, a loving voice.
I hug him.
And he hugs back.
I don't spare Archie a single glance when I take the path down the mountain, Meteorite in my hand.