Stephanie

It's my wedding day, and I want to throw up. Who is that stranger in the mirror in the wedding gown? What am I doing? How can I marry Dickie? I don't know how to be a wife. I can't even cook. Never mind. I can learn. I can do anything if I put my mind to it. I can learn to cook or paint, or even play the cello if I wanted to. I'm from the Burg, I can do this.

I adjusted my veil, glad that it was covering my face. I didn't want anyone else to see the panic in my eyes. Valerie and Mary Lou were hovering nearby, chattering. Both of them were already married and had buns in the oven. Luckily, neither was showing, so Valerie was my matron of honor and Mary Lou was a bridesmaid. My cousins Lorene and Shirley the Whiner made up the rest of the bridal party. Shirley's wedding to Eddie Gazzara is next month, and I already had my ugly bridesmaid dress for that one.

I took a deep breath. I can do this. It doesn't matter if every time Dickie kisses me I pretend that it's Joe Morelli. The last time I saw Joe, was when I ran over him two years ago. It was unlikely that he harbored any romantic feelings for me after that incident. I'm sure, in time, that I'll stop comparing every man I meet to Joe Morelli. After all, I'm getting married to a lawyer. He's smart and good-looking. What more could I ask for?

I hear the music starting, and finally tune in to Val and Mary Lou. I let them guide me into place, and I take my father's arm. I scan the church as I wait my turn to follow the bridesmaids down the aisle. On the bride's side, the pews are packed with assorted Plums and Mazurs. Yuck! There's my slimy cousin, Vinnie. I heard his father in law, Harry the Hammer is backing him in some business. Knowing Vinnie, it's probably shady or pornographic. I turn my attention to the groom's side, and look at the assorted Orrs. I never noticed how poorly the Orr men age. Uh-oh. Forget it, Steph. You love Dickie, right?

I keep scanning the groom's side, and suddenly my blood freezes. Who the hell invited Joyce Barnhart to my wedding? This is a bad omen. Should I call the whole thing off? How the hell did I get to the front of the church? What is my father saying? Damn, he just handed me off to Dickie. Focus Steph. You can do this. Who needs Morelli?