A/N: Thanks to Fenway03 and a couple of you other sweethearts out there, I've been poked and prodded and nagged to write more - and SOON - so here is another chapter! One or two more should be up by the end of the evening. But for now, thanks for reading, thanks for bugging, and please enjoy!
Jane nodded. It made sense in her heart. Perfect sense. That was one of the multitude of reasons why she loved Maura. Bitter emotions and difficult concepts were typically easier to swallow when Maura presented them. Because her best friend appealed to her logic and her emotions simultaneously.
She's perfect for you. But you don't deserve her.
"Okay," was all she could manage to get out.
Clearly dissatisfied with the reply, but willing to roll with it, Maura let her go. "Okay?"
"Okay…I'll try," she rasped. "No guarantees." Guilt began to swirl in her stomach and she slowly backed away. You don't deserve her. "Gotta get back to work," she said weakly.
Maura nodded, eyes intent on her. Not so much waiting for her to slip up as much as just…ready to catch her if she did. "Alright…if you're ready." She looked and sounded doubtful. After all, she had just watched her friend fall completely apart right in front of her.
Jane shook her head as she pushed through the gate and took one last look at what was left of the crime scene. She felt a fleeting moment of pride at the short work Korsak and the team had made of it all.
"Pretty much everything's bagged up and ready to go if you'd like to start heading back to the precinct now," Korsak announced, coming from inside the house. He held up the notepad he always kept in the inside breast pocket of his sports jacket. "Statements all taken. Managed to get the lady alone for a few minutes to get her take on everything. It's pretty much like the uniform said. Unless…you'd like to go in and talk to her yourself?"
Jane shook her head. "No, I trust you. We can always come back if we need anything else. Let's get out of here."
Korsak shrugged. "Works for me."
They passed Frankie in the hall leading back to the bullpen. Jane caught his arm and pulled him aside.
"Janie, are you okay? You…don't look so hot." He peered into her face, no doubt noting the puffy redness of her eyes.
"Allergies. I'm fine."
Frankie's facial expression said that he wanted to call bullshit, but Jane could also read the empathy there. Neither of them were remotely "over" losing Frost. "'Kay. Hey, Ma says you kicked Casey out? What happened?"
Jane groaned loudly, but when she spoke she kept her voice down to a harsh, vehement whisper. "Why does she always assume it's my fault when my relationships – never mind. No, Frankie, I didn't kick him out. He left. He's staying in a hotel."
He frowned a cocked his head. "Jane."
"Look, it's a long-ass story that I don't feel like rehashing now. Maybe I'll fill you in on details later. In the meantime, you can tell Ma to mind her own goddamn business."
Her brother crossed his arms across his chest, but wisely refrained from questioning her further. "So what'd you stop me out here for?"
"I was just thinking, you're with the drug unit, so it's very possible you'll get word on that BOLO before any of us do. Just wanted to ask a favor, that if –,"
"– that if I hear anything about our guy being back in town, you want to know about it." He took her by the shoulders when she slumped in visible relief. "I got your six, Jane. I'll keep you posted as much as I can."
"Thanks, Frankie." She squeezed his forearms before he let her go. She normally wasn't very demonstrative with him at work, but given everything they'd been going through recently, she felt compelled to express a little more than usual. She reached up and kissed his cheek, murmuring, "I love you, little brother."
He nodded. "I know. Love you, too, Janie. But you should talk to Ma. She's…a little scared for you, Janie. And…I know I'm going out on a limb, here, but maybe you should talk to Casey?"
She gave him a dangerous look, but felt tears threaten to undermine her fragile composure.
"Just don't keep stuffing it in. Air it out."
She nodded tentatively, then turned on her heel. There was paperwork and research to be done. Results on that BOLO were still pending, but now she finally had a fresh open case to occupy her time while she waited to bring down Frost's murderer.
Maura was elbow-deep in the flowerbed corpse's innards when Jane elbowed her way through the swinging doors and greeted Maura with a cursory, "Hey."
"Hey, yourself," came Maura's bemused reply. Jane hadn't been to visit her in the morgue in quite some time. It was a pleasant surprise to finally see her down there again. Tilting her head to one side, she said, "What are you –?"
"Do you want to go to lunch?" Jane blurted. She instantly joined her hands together and began to press and rub her scarred palms. "It's just, I…think I finally feel like eating. A little. Maybe."
Maura set down the bone saw and assessed Jane. Her scrutiny made Jane feel like she was on the other side of the interrogation room. She looked down at herself. Stress and high emotion wore her down and ruined her appetite. She'd lost weight; she knew her face must be drawn, shadowed, and pale from lack of quality sleep.
The flicker of hope in Maura's face nearly demolished what was left of the walls Jane had erected around her vulnerable emotions. She could practically hear her best friend's thoughts.
Is this it? Has she finally turned a corner? Are things looking up for Jane?
"I can take a break now. Did you have a place in mind?" She began stripping the gloves from her hands.
"I said I felt like maybe eating. Didn't say I was ready to make important life decisions, Maura," Jane rejoined with a dry chuckle.
Maura felt an overwhelming urge to hug her. She stepped around the autopsy table to act on the impulse, but stopped herself short. Don't push it, Maura, she told herself. "You're joking." An observation.
Jane looked taken aback by Maura's grin. "Um…yes. Yes, I am. Is that…okay?"
Maura affectionately touched her arm. "It's perfectly fine. Refreshing, actually." She added a chuckle of her own. "I like to see you being more yourself again."
The detective reflexively rubbed her upper arm where Maura's fingers had brushed her skin. "Yeah, well…don't get used to it just yet." A reminder that Jane was still a long way from feeling good again.
Maura's comment had coaxed forth a self-conscious, bashful smile from the detective, and Maura's grin broadened in reply. She felt the return of a warmth that had been absent from her life for too many weeks. "How about we keep it simple. Robber?" She wanted to choose something that would appeal to Jane's minimal appetite. Metabolically, Jane's manner of coping with stress created a vicious cycle. Highly emotional situations hit her so much harder when she didn't nourish herself properly. But in the heat of such moments, Jane often lost all interest in food, making it that much more difficult for herself to pull through.
Jane shrugged, but the smile remained, and Maura rejoiced inwardly. "Works for me."