"I never asked you what the doctor said. What's the prognosis? That sedan nailed you pretty hard." Korsak took a swig of Samuel Adams while he and Frankie made room for Jane and Maura in their usual booth.
"Ugh, don't remind me," Frankie groaned.
"Two fractured ribs and a bruised lung," Maura provided.
Frankie's eyebrows flew up.
Jane shrugged. "I got off lucky."
"Yeah," Frankie scoffed. "Dumb luck."
Jane punched him in the arm. "You sound like Ma!"
"Good thing somebody'll speak for me when I'm not around."
"Ma!"
"Angela! Come join us!" Korsak beckoned her towards the booth as Jane stood slowly to hug her mother.
"All those years harping on you as a kid to look both ways before you cross taught you nothing?" Angela demanded as she gathered her daughter into her arms.
"In Janie's defense, it coulda been a lot worse. And she ended up catching the bad guy, Ma," Frankie piped up.
His mother glared at him over Jane's shoulder. "You two always defend each other."
"I'm sorry, Ma." Jane released her mother and they both sat. "I'm sorry I scared you guys. I swear, I don't do it on purpose." She laughed, but Maura saw that telltale swipe of thumb beneath nose.
"But we're all so happy that you're alive and safe now," Maura said, giving her forearm a gentle squeeze.
Jane nodded and swallowed the sentimental tears that threatened. "And I'm happyand grateful to be here." She smiled and accepted a bottle of Blue Moon that was brought by a server. "Also for beer." She looked at Maura. "And for comfortable clothes that aren't shredded to hell."
Maura received her glass of Cabernet Sauvignon and raised it with a chuckle. "I'll drink to that."
The others all raised their respective drinks.
Maura took a sip, discreetly monitoring Jane's facial expressions for any tells. Sure enough, dark brows drew down and eyes narrowed at the door. Maura tracked Jane's gaze to find Martinez and a couple of other detectives from DCU had just stepped in.
Jane felt her insides jump uncomfortably when Martinez made eye contact with her. His presence reminded her of the high-octane happenings from the alley this morning.
Maura felt Jane tense beside her, then pin her forearm protectively against her own ribs. The ME placed her hand lightly on Jane's leg beneath the table.
Martinez sidled up to their booth.
"Join us, Rafi?" Korsak offered.
"Thanks, but I promised my guys I'd have a cold one with them." He looked at Jane. "You did good, Rizzoli." He held out his hand.
She shook it. "Thank you. You, too, Martinez."
He released his grip and dropped his hand back to his side. "I mean, it was damn stupid running out in traffic like that. But I guess you did what you thought you had to."
Jane nodded and looked around her. "We all did."
"I think Detective Frost would've been proud."
Maura watched as Jane's veneer of composure slipped. Her eyes filled, and once again she swiped beneath her nose with the base of her thumb.
"I hope so," she said quietly. "Thanks, Martinez."
He gave a curt nod and backed away.
"God, I'm a wreck," Jane groaned once he was out of earshot.
Maura felt the detective lean just a fraction of an inch closer to her. She responded by silently weaving her arm between Jane's arm and her body, linking them.
I'm right here, Jane.
"With Ruiz finally in the can, it feels to me like we can finally send Frost off," Korsak said.
Frankie nodded and raised his bottle, face solemn. "I second that."
Angela, Maura and Jane all raised theirs. "To Frost," Jane said, a catch in her voice. "This one's for you, buddy." As they each took a drink in honor of their fallen friend, a subdued silence fell over their booth. They seemed to breathe a collective sigh of release.
"Jane, honey, you're not wearing your ring," Angela remarked quietly. "Does that mean you've made a decision?"
"Decision...?" Korsak asked.
Jane exchanged a knowing uneasy glance with Maura. The medical examiner squeezed her arm gently. "Yeah, Ma. It does. I, uh..." She made eye contact with both Frankie and Korsak, then lowered her eyes to the table. "Casey and I can't see eye-to-eye. And we can't seem to meet in the middle." She looked back up to gauge their reactions. Frankie was frowning deeply, and Korsak looked concerned and very focused. "Losing Frost...well, there's no way any of us could prepare for that."
"You took it pretty hard," Korsak said.
Jane gave him a grateful smile. "I didn't handle it well, to say the least. But it made it crystal clear to me how...unrealistic our expectations were of a successful marriage."
"You can't force the grieving process," Maura provided.
Jane pressed just a fraction of an inch closer to her. She understood then what had been so unclear to her before.
Simply because she'd told Maura they couldn't be together did not mean Maura was going to abandon her entirely. And there was the startling difference.
The stark contrast between her relationship with her husband and her relationship with her best friend.
Casey's response to whenever reality fell short of expectations was to withdraw. If he couldn't have it the way he wanted, then he wouldn't have it at all. When he thought he would never walk normally again, let alone have children with the woman he was in love with, he left, abruptly dropping all connection with her as if it had never existed.
When he wanted to always be by her side, pushing and pulling her – sometimes quite forcibly – through her grief over Frost, she asked him for breathing room.
What he wanted was too much. He was too much. So he moved to a hotel for two weeks.
Maura never asked too much. When she did ask, she asked for just enough to get both her and Jane where they needed to be. But if Jane's response wasn't quite what she wanted, she would be disappointed, certainly, but she would accept it. Her love for Jane, in whatever form or capacity it took, was greater than what might please her.
And knowing this made Jane all the more eager to give Maura so much in return. She realized then, why it was always so easy to say yes to Maura, and such a struggle to say yes to Casey.
In that moment, it became clear to her that she was finally free to say yes to Maura.
"We, uh...aired our grievances a few nights ago."
Jane interwove her fingers with Maura's. Felt the gratifying squeeze from the medical examiner. Felt Maura's thumb sweep over her scar.
Frankie relaxed slightly where he sat. He looked relieved.
"But rather than clear the air, it just seemed to add to the tension." She shrugged resignedly. "We're just not compatible. And that finally became glaringly obvious. He sent me divorce papers the next morning. I didn't look at them right away. "She looked to her mother. "I wanted to think first. I've been doing a lot of screwing up lately, and I didn't want to make yet another mistake just because I was frustrated and hurt." Here she shared a look with Maura, who gave her a nod of encouragement. She took a heavy swallow from her bottle of Blue Moon. "It hurts to say it - to admit I made a mistake. But it, um..." Her voice failed her.
"We know you're picking up the pieces Jane." Korsak said. He looked to Frankie, Angela and Maura for confirmation. "We've seen it."
"Yeah, Janie," Frankie chimed in. "We're proud of you."
Jane sniffed. "You guys aren't disappointed in me for quitting?"
"My daughter's not a quitter," Angela said. "We know you better than that. We've all seen what you've dealt with, and we've seen you work through it. Your way. I'm proud of you, sweetheart. So proud," she said, and squeezed Jane's free hand. "I mean, let's face it - no mother likes to see her child lose a friend and gothrough a divorce. But let's face facts," here she laughed, "between Vince and I, we've seen enough divorce to know that sometimes it takes just as much courage to leave a dysfunctional marriage as it does to get married in the first place!"
Korsak shrugged and chuckled. "Couldn't have said it better myself. Now, I liked Casey. I'd be lying if I said I didn't." He looked Jane square in the eye. "But I trust you to know what's best for yourself. If he wasn't the one, more power to you for ending it sooner rather than later. No point in dragging it out trying to force a square peg into a round hole."
Jane nodded, overwhelmed with gratitude at the support she was being shown.
Maura frowned. "I'm not sure that was the best use of metaphoric imagery in this context."
Frankie guffawed. Jane nearly choked on her beer. Korsak reddened. Angela just chortled. Maura beamed.
Jane turned to her best friend. "Doctor Maura Isles! That was a very inappropriate joke!"
"And a good one, too!" Frankie added.
Maura continued to grin. "We needed some levity. And that's a service I am always happy to provide."
"Oh God, don't make me laugh," Jane whined, holding her side.
"Okay, okay, I'll stop," Maura said, still chuckling. She looked at her watch. "In fact, I think it might be time to take you home."
Jane reluctantly inched her way out of the booth, but she did not protest. Though she longed to stay and celebrate with her family, she was exhausted and uncomfortable.
"Make sure she rests, Maura. I'm trusting her to your care," Angela said, with a stern look at Jane.
"I'll do my level best, Angela. You have my word."
Jane waved goodbye to Korsak and Frankie. She watched Maura flash a smile at her mother and her stomach dropped. Insecure as the medical examiner tended to be, she was always poised, coifed, gracious and kind. An ache in Jane's heart counterbalanced the ache in her ribs. She's perfect, Jane thought. I wish she was mine.