A/N: Disclaimer: The Gaelic in this chapter is not modern Irish Gaelic. Researching a language no longer spoken and determining the correct conjugations is fun, but not easy. All errors are my own.
~*~ Chapter Twelve ~*~
Killers. They're killers. Bella spat into the sink, and brought her toothbrush to her mouth again, slowly working the rear teeth. She looked on the reflection of her face in the mirror without really seeing it. How was she supposed to be dealing with the sudden knowledge of two people who were out there purposely killing? Not for food or country, but for twisted reasons of their own?
Moving her brush to the other side of her mouth, Bella worked the bristles as she continued to stare blankly in the mirror. How would she have felt if she had been hurt like Rosalie? Or if she could have stopped something before it happened, like Edward? Yet all Bella got from trying to think of those things was a deep sick feeling in her gut. She spit out the last of the paste in her mouth and rinsed the brush. fAs she tapped the excess water off she heard Charlie on the other side of the bathroom door.
"Bella?"
"Yeah, Dad, I'll be right out."
Her father was standing in the hallway, hands tucked in his back jean pockets and flannel shirt hanging unbuttoned to reveal the "Fish Wanted" t-shirt she had gotten him for his birthday. If you catch this fish, please release it so I can catch him again. He's mine!
"What's up?" she asked.
"Just wanted to catch you before you went to bed." Charlie had a reluctant fatherly expression on his face that Bella interpreted to mean he felt he was about to deliver bad news. "There've been some budget cuts from the state. I'm not going to have as much money coming in as I did before."
"Oh, Dad, that sucks."
"Yeah," Charlie said in that single syllable tone that made it sound like he was about to deposit into a spittoon though he'd never chewed tobacco a day in his life. "You're eighteen years old, and I haven't been pushy on this subject so far. I know that you've been spending a lot of time with your friends, especially the Cullens. I'm happy about that but, Bells, I think it might be time for you to get a job. With Christmas coming up there's got to be some places about to hire part-time."
"You're right. I've been thinking about that, actually." Bella looked down at Charlie's t-shirt instead of his face. She acknowledged to herself that the Cullens were part of the reason why she'd delayed looking. "I'm sorry I waited so long. You shouldn't have had to ask me."
"You've only got another year here. I don't want you to be gone all the time, but a job would be healthy for you."
"I'll start looking," Bella promised.
"Alright," Charlie said, frowning at his daughter's downcast eyes. "Something wrong?"
The thoughts raced across Bella's mind as she looked back up at her father. The secrets that she had been keeping from him had taken a more severe turn that afternoon. She wished that she could tell him all about Edward and Rosalie, and how sick what they were doing made her feel. Yet she couldn't, not even in a general way. Her father was law and order, and if they weren't vampires it would be his job to stop them. He'd even be able to talk to her about why it was wrong and he had to take a stand against it. Bella felt a sudden fierce surge of love for Charlie.
Yet she couldn't take comfort from him.
"No, just tired, and a little regretful. I'll find a way to earn some money and help out a little more."
"You're a good girl, Bella." This time it was Charlie that felt the surge of love. Bella smiled at him.
"Thanks."
"Yeah, well." There would be no hug, or kiss on the cheek. Charlie didn't work that way. "Goodnight, then."
"Goodnight."
Charlie made his way down the stairs and Bella went into her room.
Though she didn't remember them in the morning, her dreams were fretful, and she woke to find her blankets twisted and half off the bed from her thrashing.
(~*~)
The vision made Alice tense up. Her fingers clawed into the cushion of the seat in which she sat, tearing holes in the upholstery. Jasper could feel the shock and unhappiness coming from his mate, and carefully reached out to stroke the back of her hand. Anything more would not be wise while Alice's eyes remained unfocused.
She turned her head towards Jasper and whispered two words: "Holy shit."
The unexpected curse startled everyone in the house, and soon movements could be heard as the other vampires began to make their way into the computer room. Alice rose from her position at the desk and shut the laptop she'd been on before the vision came, sending a pinch of dust to twirl in the sunlight streaming from the window. "Dining room, please," she spoke and soon everyone was assembled there, serious and concerned expressions on their faces.
Alice rarely had a vision that was cause for concern, yet everyone knew immediately that this was what had occurred. Jasper sat by Alice, holding her hand in both of his.
"Edward and Rosalie have set their travel plans to come to us for Thanksgiving." This was not a surprise to anyone, but Alice shared it to explain the decision that prompted the danger. "Edward is not going to have a friendly reaction to Bella."
"What do you mean?" Carlisle immediately asked, his inexplicable worry that Alice's vision had something to do with Bella confirmed.
Alice's expression wavered as she looked at Carlisle. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I didn't see this before. He must not have been close enough in Port Angeles, was never going to be…" Alice realized that she had to justify an explanation to herself later. Everyone was waiting. "Bella's scent – it's going to appeal to Edward in a way that he's never experienced before. He is going to want to take her blood immediately."
"I thought you said that there was no danger?" Esme asked, worry etched clearly across her sparkling face.
"You said that Bella will live as a human for years to come." Carlisle's frown did not do justice to the conflict of emotions inside him.
"That is still true. Bella is not going to die at Edward's hands. We need to come up with a plan now so that I can see how things will settle."
"What exactly do you see happening now, poppet?" Jasper asked gently.
"I see Edward acting so fast and out of control that Bella gets hurt before he is stopped. It takes everyone but Esme and I to do it." Alice looked at Carlisle, emitting a sort of reluctant admiration. "You actually break his arms off."
"That does not sound like a way that Edward would behave," Esme said.
"A singer," Maggie said.
Carlisle nodded. "That is what I think, too."
"What do you mean?" Esme's eyes darted between the two of them.
"A singer is a human whose blood calls so strongly to a vampire that it is nearly irresistible. It does not happen often, vampires find mates more easily than they do their singer."
"That sounds exactly it," Alice agreed.
"We have to tell her," Carlisle said with determination.
"We will. When Edward calls in a few minutes you should talk to him, Maggie. Tell him what I've seen and explain what a singer is. Edward has learned a lot of self-control from Rosalie; it'll be better if he is prepared. If everyone knows ahead of time, we'll all be on hand to prevent him from touching her."
"Why not just keep Bella away?" Esme asked.
"And have him come across her scent in town, not to mention all over this house?" Jasper shook his head. "We should not hide her."
"No hiding," Alice agreed. "Absolutely no hiding Bella. She's part of our family."
"How soon will she get here?" Carlisle asked. "She should nearly be done her classes for today."
Alice tilted her head at him. "Actually, she's going to have some trouble with her truck. It won't start. Take your Mercedes and pick her up, Carlisle. The tinted windows will help."
Normally Carlisle might have shown some amused resistance to being given an order by Alice, but this time he agreed. He had a need to see Bella at that moment and reassure himself of her safety. Grabbing his keys and a superfluous jacket out of habit, Carlisle headed out the door. As he left, he heard Esme's cell phone ring.
Maggie answered Esme's phone and Alice turned to Jasper, pressing against him as Maggie began talking. Jasper wrapped his arms around Alice in return and she felt warmed and comforted as she buried her head against his chest.
"I think that we're going to need something to break the tension once Bella gets here," she murmured. Jasper merely kissed the top of his mate's head and continued to hold her tight. A smile played across Alice's face.
(~*~)
Slipping out the door from her last class, Bella carried her bag out to her truck, calling out good-byes to Mike and Jessica. She'd been better able to compartmentalize during the school day, and thoughts of Edward and Rosalie's vigilantism only touched her occasionally. She was hoping to be able to continue to put them aside and enjoy the afternoon with the Cullens, watching them occasionally sparkle as bits of light made it passed the trees and through their windows. It was so surreal and beautiful. One day she hoped that she'd see the full effect, rather than snatches on different areas of their skin.
"Hey, Bella, hold on!" Angela called to her from across the lot, and Bella stopped as Angela made her way over to her.
"How are you?" Angela asked.
"I'm fine." Bella blinked at Angela, a little puzzled.
"It just seems like I haven't seen much of you lately, outside of lunch."
"Yeah, I guess you're right." Once again, Bella found herself looking downward rather than making eye contact. "I've been spending a lot of time over at the Cullens'."
"I noticed." Angela smiled shyly. "I've always liked them. But, I kind of miss you."
"Aw, Ang. I'm sorry. I don't mean to exclude you." Bella really didn't want Angela to feel blown off. How many other people felt this way?
"Want to come over to my place right now? We could catch up."
Bella smiled sadly. "That sounds great, but I've sort of got plans."
"Aren't the Cullens hiking or something?"
"It's not with them." Bella felt awful for lying to Angela, but she couldn't exactly say that the Cullens were all home hiding from the sun. "Tell you what, let's do something this Friday, unless you're already doing something with Ben."
"No. Well, nothing firm, but I'd love to see you. Why don't we have a girls' night in Port Angeles again? Dinner, movie. We could go check out that Johnny Cash movie with Reese Witherspoon or the Jane Austen movie."
"Sounds awesome."
"Great! I'll check out times and we'll firm up plans tomorrow." Angela gave Bella a quick hug before hurrying off to where Ben waited.
By the time that Bella reached her truck, most of the students had already pulled out. The lot was empty of people, though a few cars lingered that belonged to athletes. Bella unlocked her truck, swung her schoolbag onto the seat and shoved it down as she climbed in. Buckling her seatbelt, she put the keys in the ignition and turned.
Nothing happened. The engine didn't purr, stutter or screech. There was absolutely nothing. Releasing herself from the seat, Bella climbed out of the cab and checked under the hood. She wasn't due yet for her oil change, and while the level was a little low, there was still plenty there. That pretty much exhausted what Bella knew about checking engines. Frustrated, Bella stepped back before letting the hood slam down again. She should walk back to the office and call Jake. She hadn't seen him for a while either.
Grabbing her bag, Bella locked up her truck and started walking when she noticed a sleek black Mercedes pull silently abreast of her and recognized it as Carlisle's.
Alice, Bella thought gratefully, and pulled open the passenger side door.
"I hear that you need a ride," Carlisle said, and Bella grinned at him as she slid into the seat. She'd never been in a car as fancy as this, and she couldn't help notice the buttery soft texture of the Nappa leather.
"Thank you," Bella said. Once again, she was snapping herself in, and Carlisle smiled to see her do it. She was nearby and safe, and he allowed a part of himself to relax. "I don't suppose that Alice might have seen what is actually wrong with my truck?"
"She did not say," Carlisle answered as he pulled out. They got on the highway and Bella noticed that he looked a little tense; his eyes kept darting over to her.
"Carlisle, is something wrong?"
His expression softened as he looked at Bella. "Not at the moment. I am afraid that we have had some unexpected news, and we will all be discussing it once I get you to the house."
"Is it bad?"
"Alice says that it will not turn out to be."
"That's good, then."
Carlisle nodded, then he reached out and took Bella's hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. His fingers felt cool and smooth against her skin, and Bella wondered if this was really the first time that she'd felt his hands on her without gloves. "I am a little worried. Why don't we talk about something else until we get there?" Giving her hand another squeeze, Carlisle let go.
Bella watched him carefully. Carlisle really did seem worried, but he also seemed a little more relaxed now. "Okay," she said, before realizing what she'd just heard. "Hey, you just said 'don't.'"
Carlisle glanced her way, bemused. "Yes?"
"You said 'why don't we talk about something else.' You used a contraction. I almost never hear you use contractions."
Carlisle laughed. "It's true, I don't. I have always had a little trouble with contractions, though it has gotten easier the last few years. I find that I am using them a lot more often since September."
"Why do you have trouble?"
"Language shifts. Part of the charade I need to play as an American-born twenty-eight-year-old requires my use of the flatter accent and the contractions. I like to think that I mastered the accent a generation or two ago. Contractions have only become more necessary the last few decades. I prefer to speak the words out, but they've recently seeped into my private use, like with you now."
"That's crazy," Bella said. "I mean, wow. The accent I get, but wouldn't word use be easier? It just kind of becomes part of your lingo. I remember the first time I caught myself saying 'my bad.' I was horrified."
Carlisle laughed again, and hearing it in the smaller space of the car it seemed extra warming to Bella. "We still hold onto some expressions, I think. Haven't you heard Jasper call Alice 'poppet?'"
Bella nodded. "It's odd, but I just go with it. He knows enough not to say it in school."
"School gives Alice and Jasper the added advantage of being among the teenage population, where popular expressions are more prevalent."
Bella snorted. "See? That right there. You choose words like 'prevalent' instead of saying 'where teenagers talk a lot of slang.'"
Carlisle slanted Bella a look. "Are you calling me old-fashioned again?"
Bella grinned. "A little. I like it."
Carlisle and Bella shared a smile of affection as their eyes met. Then Carlisle's gaze moved back onto the woodsy road ahead, leaving Bella's to wander about the car. She noticed an odd button near her seat, and curious, she pressed it. Her butt immediately began to vibrate. Almost frantically, Bella slapped the same button and the sensation stopped.
Carlisle was chuckling as they pulled up to the house, and Bella pretended not to hear.
Inside the door, Carlisle gentlemanly helped her out of her coat before putting it on the rack. Bella was sorry to see that his smile was gone again, and wondered what sort of news would have him so worried. Her mind briefly flitted towards Edward and Rosalie, but that stressor currently belonged to her, not the Cullens. Expectation and weight heavy on her shoulders, she allowed Carlisle to guide her to the dining room.
The family was waiting when they entered, and standing by the door, Jasper was the first to begin.
"Good afternoon, Bella. How do you do?" he asked, in a slow voice with a touch more twang than she was used to hearing.
"Um, I'm fine, Jasper, thanks," Bella answered, a little bemused. Her surprise increased when Jasper took her hand and bent over it, formally kissing her knuckles. "Uh, how are you?"
"I am well, thank you." Still bent over her hand, Jasper grinned up at her and Bella's polite smile faded. What was going on? Carlisle took a step closer to Bella and frowned down at Jasper.
"Bella!" Alice exclaimed, entering behind them. Jasper straightened up at her entrance and Alice moved forward to put her arm about his waist. "You better not be thinking of barney-mugging with my baby. I know he's the berries, but sorry, doll, the bank's closed."
"Huh?" was really all Bella could get out. Carlisle began to grin.
"Relax, Bella. Everything is Jake." Alice winked.
While Bella stared at Alice as though she had actually grown a third eye, Maggie spoke from her chair at the table. "Bella déchaidim mesctha. Do·moinetharann sní attá doilig forrae?"
"Perhaps," Esme answered.
The light began to dawn, and a small blush creeped up Bella's face. She started to stutter out a witty comeback, but Esme spoke first.
"Though I suspect that the touch of rosiness in her countenance signifies her understanding."
"The lady's intelligence fair does her credit," Carlisle said, in a heavily rich British accent. Bella gave a little jump and stepped back from him in surprise. She watched him, mouth slightly agape. "There is a kind of preciousness in a mind well stimulated, for it holds the power of perception, which allows one to move forward in the world less blind."
Seeing Carlisle standing there, dressed in modern GQ clothing, spouting post-Shakespeare English made something low in Bella's abdomen flutter. Before she could figure out what it was, Alice was speaking again, and it was gone.
"Oh, dry up, bluenose. No one asked for philosophy."
" 'Bluenose?' Really, Alice."
"Lay down, Alice. It's dope." Keeping her face utterly straight, Bella did her best imitation of her old friend Micah back in Phoenix. "Bruh just wan' to say his piece, ah-ight?"
She tried very hard not to wince as the Cullens all stared at her.
"Bella, I rather hope that is the last time I hear you say something like that," Jasper said and Alice let out a guffaw.
"I don't know, I think I'd like to see that again. Maybe we could even dress her up, get her a du-rag."
Turning bright red, Bella gave up and flounced into an empty chair. "You guys suck."
The chuckles started slowly, but soon even Bella was laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of the conversation that had just passed.
Arm still wrapped around Jasper, Alice leaned into him, tilting her face upward. "Cash or check?"
"Cash," Jasper answered and bent his head to lay a tender kiss on her lips. They were the last to settle at the table, both to Bella's left while Carlisle had already sat to her right.
"Bella, I arranged to have your flivver of a truck towed to your house."
"Oh, Alice, thanks, but you didn't have to do that," Bella said, relieved to have something logical to respond to.
Alice's face was serious again. "It's not any trouble. Besides it's certainly the least we can do, considering what we have to talk about today."
"Why do I feel that this isn't good?"
Esme spoke softly to Bella. "It's unfortunate, but not unmanageable."
"Bella," Maggie began. Her freckled face showed kindness and her tone was cautious but matter-of-fact. "We'd like to explain to you a certain… well, legend isn't quite the right word… a certain aspect of vampire life that can happen, but is very rare."
"Okay."
"It's called a singer." Sitting beside Bella, Carlisle rested a supportive hand on her shoulder. He watched her face as Maggie explained. She took in the information with an accepting calm he'd come to expect from her. Bella was really a wonderfully openhearted and brave girl, and he was sorry for the shock that they were about deliver. He also knew that he would be there to help her through, whatever she needed.
"It seems that you are Edward's singer."
Bella paled on Maggie's final sentence. "He's going to want to kill me?"
"That won't happen," Esme said emphatically.
"Now that we are forewarned, we can take steps to make sure that your first meeting will not result in anyone being hurt," Maggie continued. "We got off the phone with Edward and Rosalie just when you got here. Rosalie has experience in helping Edward control his thirst."
"Edward would also never want to hurt you," Alice chimed in. Her eyes sparkled at Bella with confidence and affection. "You are an innocent – not to mention that we consider you a member of this family."
Despite the tense subject, having what had always been natural and assumed actually said aloud gave Bella a small rush of pleasure.
"Is that enough to stop him?" Bella asked. "I mean, you've described a singer as being irresistible, that a vampire's reason will disappear once he catches the scent. My scent."
"Edward really does have remarkable self-control," Jasper said. "There will also be six vampires between him and you, ready to fight."
Oh my God, Bella thought.
"Bella," Carlisle drew her gaze back onto him. He conveyed with his eyes every assurance he wanted to give her. "We will all protect you. You don't have to worry about that." When Bella nodded at him, Carlisle turned his face to Maggie, keeping his hand on Bella's shoulder.
"Maggie, how did the conversation with Edward go?"
"Needless to say, they were surprised. Bella's presence in our lives has always been something of a mystery to them. Now they are fairly intrigued and looking forward to meeting her – once we get past first scent, of course."
"Is Edward handling the news well?"
"He's not handling it badly," Alice chose to answer. "I would say that he doesn't know how to react yet, other than to make sure that he can control himself around Bella." Alice hesitated before continuing. She had some other worries in regard to Edward and Bella that she wanted to keep to herself for now. "What Maggie said about intrigue is true. He is feeling a little drawn towards meeting her."
Bella stiffened, and for a moment her heartbeat decidedly increased. All the vampires looked at her, their expressions sympathetic. To cover, Bella said the first thing that came to mind. "I suppose Rosalie won't like that very much. Is she okay with this?"
"Rosalie is ready to help defend you, should it be needed. She's as curious about this as would be expected, but nothing more." Maggie answered, frowning at Bella. "Did you think that she might be jealous?"
"Um, maybe."
Esme smiled. "Rosalie's interest in Edward comes from his ability to read minds, and from their mutual desires for retribution. They're more partners, Bella. Though I might say that Rosalie views herself as upper management."
"Oh. So, they're not a couple?"
"No," Maggie said, her eyes piercing. "Why would you think that?"
"I don't know. I just assumed, I guess."
"Because they are a male and female away together from the family?"
"…Yeah."
"Interesting."
Bella squirmed. Sometimes Maggie had a way of making her feel like she was reading her subconscious. "I didn't mean anything by it; I just didn't think it through."
"Bella, honey, we know," Esme said.
Maggie tilted her head and smiled sweetly at Bella, causing the curls around her face to bounce. "I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, dear. I'm just a little no-nonsense after so much time of being able to see what's underneath certain statements."
"I understand. It just feels sometimes like there is no privacy around you, when you know things that I'm not even aware of thinking."
Maggie snorted. "You're really going to like Edward, then."
That's the problem, Bella thought. I don't. "When is it likely that he and Rosalie are going to be here?"
"They're coming to spend at least a week with us for Thanksgiving," Alice answered. "They'll be here Sunday."
"Sunday? That's just four days away."
Releasing Bella's shoulder, Carlisle moved his hand to hers and gave it a brief reassuring squeeze, like he had done in the car. Only instead of seeking comfort, this time he sought to give it. "Alice, perhaps we'd better discuss what has been come up with for a plan. Now that we have all been made aware, I'm sure that your vision has changed?"
Alice nodded. "It makes the most sense for Bella to already be here when they arrive, and that's how I see it."
"Why would that make the most sense?" Esme asked.
"We protect Bella better with her in the house first," Jasper said, "as opposed to her driving up when Edward can smell her and get away from us."
Bella really wasn't certain what expression was on her face at that moment, but it must have transmitted something to cause Esme regret. "I'm sorry I asked, dear."
"May I ask a question?"
"Of course!"
"Why don't I just stay away while they are here? It's not that I'm unwilling to meet them, it's just that you are lining up to fight, and I don't want to be the cause of that."
"Bella! We don't want to hide you." Alice was dismayed.
"I'm not hiding. Seriously, I love each of you like family, I do. It's just that I've been spending so much time here… I'm missing out on my other friends, spending time with Charlie. I need to find a job. I'd like to do all that before I become the meal of a lifetime."
"You're not going to die, Bella. I promise you."
"Bella does have point," Carlisle said, feeling a little wave of guilt. "We have rather commandeered her life as well as her say on the topic. If Bella would rather spend Edward's visit away from us and with other people she cares about, then that is her choice." Carlisle gave her an understanding smile, though his eyes were sad. "We'll just have to look forward to seeing her again after Edward's gone."
"Bella," Jasper began. He was the most practical in approaching the situation. He saw a problem, and sought for the solution. While Jasper felt the waves of tension emanating from everyone, it was one of those times when he decided not to interfere. He may have the ability of emotional persuasion, but he also held the belief that everyone was entitled to his or her own feelings. "I completely agree with Carlisle that you should have a say in this. It's why we waited to talk with you here. Would you allow me to make some points?"
"Sure."
"Your scent is all over this house, and carries direct paths to you at the school and your home. Having you here offers better protection and control than Edward catching your living scent at random. We'd rather not have to play bodyguard for both you and Edward the whole time he's here. That's not the way we want to treat either of you. Besides, do you really want to hide and keep the threat constant instead of just facing it head on?"
"I want the right to choose not to be treated like the flag in a game of Stratego."
"Bella, that was unkind," Maggie admonished. "We're doing this because we care. If Alice saw this coming, we'd still be looking to protect you even without knowing you."
"It was mean; I'm sorry. I understand that you guys care, and Jasper makes a good argument. It's just…" Bella trailed off. How to explain? She wasn't ready to deal with her own thoughts about Edward and Rosalie, so how could she tell their family that they repulsed her? She'd already tried saying once that she loved them but wanted her other life, too. Carlisle had also tactfully made it clear that she wanted to speak for herself, for which she was thankful.
"Alice, is it best if we have Bella here on Sunday?" Esme interrupted the silence.
Bella was quick to jump on the new track. "I will still live if I stay away, right?"
Alice put a hand to her forehead. " 'Reply hazy, try again.'" She lowered her hand and looked around the table. "Decisions are still up in the air, guys, and I'm not a magic 8-ball. Personally, I agree with Jasper and want Bella here."
"I want Bella safe," Esme said. "Whatever we decide."
"I think it should be Bella's decision. Her veto," Carlisle said, and the patriarch had spoken.
Bella took a moment to dwell on it, all eyes on her. A million thoughts ran through her head: getting out of the situation, realizing that there was no "out" by running away, wanting to see Pride and Prejudice with Angela, how much she loved Charlie, how important all of the Cullens were to her and her life now. Her gaze met Carlisle's, and she knew that he'd support her either way. "I'll be here on Sunday."
Jasper nodded. "Then we make a plan."
"I will be by Bella's side," Carlisle said. It was a statement that brooked no opposition, and Bella was grateful. She listened quietly as the Cullens discussed advantages. It really made her uncomfortable to see the Cullens strategizing to protect her from literally one of their own, but the decision was made and it was time to move forward. She kept her gaze down on her lap and fidgeted with her hands. Carlisle noticed.
"Bella." Carlisle gently lifted her chin to face her towards him. His golden eyes shone down on her, full of affection, comfort and determination. "This is one of the things that life can give us that we simply have to deal with. Don't put too much weight upon your shoulders."
Bella simply nodded.
"Well," Maggie said as she stood up, "it looks like we'll need to get some more sparring practice in, just in case."
"Let's go now," Alice suggested. "I could also use a quick hunt. Bella, I'm sure you won't mind if we take off?"
"Yeah, that's okay."
"I think I'll stay here. I'll enjoy the chance to get some more work done on restoring the chairs." With a gentle smile at everyone, and a quick caress of Maggie's arm, Esme headed upstairs to her latest flea market find.
"It helps her not to worry," Maggie told Bella confidently. "When she can work on a task she enjoys so much, it helps to soothe her."
The general exodus from the dining room was quick. Both Alice and Jasper promised Bella that they'd pick her up for school the next day before departing the house with Maggie and leaving Bella alone with Carlisle.
Bella felt a little bereft and yet at the same time, a little relieved. Relieved that the discussion was over, relieved that things were simply moving forward. Yet despite Carlisle's earlier words, she still felt pressure. She wasn't expected to do anything; no action was needed on her part. Other than to potentially watch others fight for her. Other than to live.
Carlisle was a little uncertain. It was beginning to get late into the afternoon, and he knew that Bella had only so much time before she would want to get home and prepare dinner for her father. He suspected that she might want to leave the house and have some solo time to work through all of the news that she had just been given, and thought to offer her an immediate ride home. Only he wanted her to stay. He wasn't ready yet to bring her home, returning her to the safety of her father's house yet leaving her out of sight. He wanted her in the safety of his house for as long as he could manage it. What Bella needed, though, was more important than his emotional need to protect her. He started to speak to ask her how she was feeling, when he saw the look in her eyes. In the two seconds that their gazes locked the mutual need to give and receive comfort was realized.
"Come with me into my study," Carlisle said, and together they moved upstairs.
Carlisle's study was always a very comfortable place for Bella. For one, she enjoyed the windows looking out into the trees. Since it was mid-November and the windows faced west, Bella could catch snatches of sunset just through the gaps in branches. Carlisle's large mahogany desk sat in front of the windows and Bella imagined that in moments when he wasn't invested in his reading, Carlisle would often turn in his leather chair and just look out. Carlisle's books were what propelled Bella to love the room. They lined every spare wall in bookcases that rose to shelves above her head; it was like a private library. Finally, the wall which held the door was adorned with paintings of varying styles and techniques, several of which Bella was sure would be coveted in museums.
Bella sat herself on the leather couch that matched the desk chair while Carlisle leaned against the front of his desk. "How are you doing, Bella?"
Bella quirked the corner of her mouth up a bit. "I guess I'm not really sure how to answer that. Your Edward… he kinda has me a little freaked out."
Carlisle's expression was one of commiseration. "You really haven't had a good first introduction to Edward, between the story I told you last night and the news you received today."
"Or Maggie's reminder that my thoughts won't be private anymore."
Carlisle inclined his head in acknowledgement. "That is something that we've all learned to put up with. Mostly it is not intrusive. Edward is too much of a gentleman to let on if he hears something we would rather he didn't."
Somehow the idea of Edward as a gentleman didn't fit with the mental picture Bella had drawn up for him. It was true; her first impressions really weren't that favorable.
"Carlisle, how…" Bella started, then stopped. How could she ask this without sounding like a bitch? "Considering the choices they've made, what Edward and Rosalie are doing… how are they still a part of the family?"
Carlisle took a long time before answering this question, his gaze on his crossed ankles. Finally he looked up at Bella.
"I'm afraid that the tale I told you last night, or perhaps the way I told it, has colored your perceptions. I am deeply affected by what happened with Edward and Rosalie, and my sadness and disapproval may have overshadowed how very much I love them."
Bella didn't know what to say to this, so she said nothing.
"I've referred to Edward as my child for lack of any better way of describing one whom I changed into vampire. While I tried to guide him, he has also guided me. I had been alone for more than two centuries, Bella. I can tell you that, but to truly understand it you can only experience it. Edward was my first companion and my best friend. He wasn't just someone I could hunt with and drop the guise around, but he was also someone I could laugh with. Just by being there he taught me how to not be lonely, and to share myself with others."
Carlisle was right. The concept of so many years of solitude was something that she could try to understand and appreciate, but could not really empathize with. Watching him talk from her stiff pose on the couch, Bella began to admonish herself for not knowing Carlisle better. At the same time, she highly appreciated that he was giving her this glimpse – sharing himself with her.
"It's because of Edward that I became able to have a family. Before him I'd only developed distant but respectful friendships."
"Then Esme and Maggie joined you."
"Yes." Carlisle smiled somewhat ruefully, remembering the circumstances that brought first Esme and then Maggie into his family. Despite the unexpected shifting of relationships that had occurred, he was very happy to have them both a part of his life.
"And Rosalie?"
"The truth about Rosalie is that she cares deeply, though she hides it," Carlisle answered. "She is a social creature and needs to be around others. Sometimes I suspect that part of the reason she recruited Edward is so that she wouldn't be alone. It's also worth remembering that Rosalie hurts, and is always hurting."
So instead of dealing with her own pain she hurts others – including Edward? Bella kept the thought to herself. "What allowed Edward to be recruited?"
It wasn't an easy thing, trying to explain to Bella the various shades of gray that can color the world and those in it. Yet Bella was open-minded enough to easily accept the existence of his family, and ask questions before casting judgment. It was one of the things that made him so fond of her. Carlisle moved from the desk and sat beside her on the couch, angling his body to face her.
"Edward also feels strongly, and he is very internal. I always thought that the reason his vampire nature included the gift of reading minds is that he had such an empathy towards others as a human. It took great strength to handle the burdens of his gift, and the conflict within himself that they created. He strove to be good, and was succeeding. When Rosalie came along… I think there was so much of her that he identified with, trying to be good around her pain and her anger became a constant battle for him. When Rosalie presented a compromise, he took it."
"A compromise?" Bella echoed.
"I speak as I believe Edward saw it, not for myself."
Bella's eyes darted from Carlisle's face to the floor, to her hands and back to him again before she responded. "I can't say that I really understand what it is to be… bloodthirsty. I do think that I understand killing for food, or self-defense. Or even, maybe, a soldier fighting for his country. I just don't understand Edward and Rosalie. They are killing according to their own sense of justice. It's worse than that. They aren't just choosing to act because they have learned of something they wish to prevent; they are actually out there seeking who next to kill. That… disturbs me."
Surprising himself, Carlisle began to play devil's advocate. He occasionally played both sides to push Bella to think more during their philosophical talks, but he didn't expect to be doing it on a subject so personally painful for him. "To stop a crime before it happens? To help people before they even get hurt?"
"Ye- No." Bella frowned. She thought she understood how she felt, but she was already weakening. "To go looking for trouble, to interfere with law and order, and deal out capital punishment immediately."
"Would you rather Edward and Rosalie put them on trial first? Edward can prove innocence or guilt from a distance."
"Wasn't Schoolmaster Prodan innocent?"
"Was he?" Carlisle said this last softly. With that he was done playing tutor, and didn't want to challenge Bella's mind anymore. Time would allow her the shades of gray, and he most certainly didn't want to push her into stepping outside of his own white. Sitting side by side, their bodies had slowly moved closer together, yet both Carlisle and Bella were silent, frowning and looking away from each other. "I am certain that every person whom Edward and Rosalie have taken has been guilty. The teacher… his story was too close to Rosalie's recent pain, and too convenient a device to use to ensnare Edward. She acted rashly and with clouded judgment."
"Are you saying that you've discussed this with them?" Bella asked quietly.
"I've discussed a lot with them. They are still making their own decisions, but I do believe that I have at the very least instilled that much of a difference in whom can be considered guilty."
"Intent to act, not just a thought?"
"At least."
Silence again.
"I'm sorry. I still can't say that I agree with what they are doing." Bella nearly regretted bringing up the subject at all. The only thing accomplished was that she felt miserable and uncertain. "I can't really put myself in their shoes. I shouldn't be judging them, and I am trying not to, but I can't… support them."
"Do you think that I do?" The grief in Carlisle's voice was self-evident. Bella looked up into his gaze, oh-so-confused and wishing that she had just kept her mouth shut. "I do not believe in killing. That Edward and Rosalie, whom I took into my family, cared for and tried to guide, are out doing something so against what I believe and stand for - it pains me. It hurts every day. Yet, it is something that you just have to look beyond. The people you love won't always make the same choices you would have them make. That doesn't keep you from still loving each other. If you allow it to become more important than that, then the rift between you will grow and possibly become permanent. I care too much for Rosalie and Edward to not have them be a part of my life."
It reminded Bella of Billy and her father, and the disagreement they'd had before she arrived. When together, neither of them bring up the Cullens or Billy's choice of where to get care, and they are still able to enjoy each other's company. What Carlisle was saying was essentially the same thing as that, albeit a very different reason for disagreement.
Bella reached out her hand to Carlisle, wanting to sooth his pain and needing to touch. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Carlisle felt for her. She may be book smart and more mature than most her age, but in that moment Bella was just a confused good-hearted young woman who was trying hard to cope with the weight of all the information she'd received in the last twenty-four hours. Carlisle did what felt right; he took her outstretched hand and gathered her against his side. His arm wrapped around her, and she laid her head against his shoulder. They both stayed there, saying nothing, simply taking and giving comfort to each other.
"Carlisle?" Bella's voice was quiet and tentative.
"Yes?" he whispered gently.
"I'm scared."
Carlisle's arm tightened around her and he laid a kiss on her temple. Though it was a new level of intimacy for them, it felt natural to both.
"I promise to keep you safe."
A/N: When Gene Wilder wrote the "Puttin' on the Ritz" scene for Young Frankenstein, he argued hard in favor of it with director Mel Brooks. Finally, Mel basically told him, "I just wanted to see if you cared enough about it to fight for it. You want it that much, it's in." This chapter contains my equivalent of that scene, only I played the parts of both Mel and Gene.
It's after midnight. This is my third draft of the chapter, which is about 2k more words than before. Heh-heh. Let me know what you think! It would please me very much just to know that you want to read more of "Moonlit."
Next chapter... some EPOV, and the vigilante meets his singer. What will Bella and Carlisle do?