A/N – Are you READY for this? I'm not, haha. If you missed the announcement on my tumblr, this story got one this chapter and the next to go – and then it's done. Also, I got into grad school! Whoo! And I might be starting classes this October, a quarter sooner than I expected.

Anyway – onward! Don't forget to leave me a review! It helps!

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Chapter 35: It's Too Cold Outside for Angels to Fly (Part 1)

Hiccup remembered the dry cake and oven-warmed dinner, the blaring club music, Heather and Astrid dancing hip to hip, and then the rest of the night came in blurs, head-pounds, and dream-like flashes. Right now, none of that mattered. He smothered his head into the pillow to block out the otherworldly morning light. He rolled over and pulled the blanket over his head, and it helped a little, but his brain still threatened to explode and his stomach churned with the effort, burning up through his chest.

He lied there until the extreme surge of unpleasantness passed. Something moved close to him, and a warm hand touched the bare skin of his back. He rolled over, slowly, and tipped his eyes out from under the blanket. Astrid's hair flung out on the pillow like a lion's mane and her makeup from the night before left streaks of black and beige on the pillow. He remembered, so suddenly that he questioned the validity, of her yellow hair against the faded red of bricks. He'd pushed her, maybe. Hiccup rubbed that image from his mind. He wouldn't do that.

Somehow, Hiccup made his way from the bedroom, across the living room, and into the acidic-tinged bathroom. On the floor by the door was his shirt, and his pants, which left him in his boxers. Beside his clothes lay the dress Astrid had worn. Hiccup washed his face and brushed his teeth, and sat on the edge of the tub to let the wave of nausea pass over. He pushed Astrid's dress with his toe.

It had been short. He could remember sticking his hands underneath it. Hiccup ran his hands through his dirty hair. He wouldn't have done a thing like that.

But why did he get the feeling that he had?

Hiccup sat on the edge of the tub for a while, waiting for the nausea to subside, and only moved when he heard footsteps. Astrid, haggard and wild, appeared in the door. She's managed to sleep in a t-shirt.

"Morning," Astrid yawned, stepping to the sink. "How do you feel?"

"Like shit," Hiccup groaned.

Astrid saw herself in the mirror and cringed. "Oh, I look like Cruella." She ran cold water and splashed her face.

"What happened?" Hiccup said through his hands. God, why did this have to hurt so much?

"We went out last night," Astrid said, lifting her face away from the water.

"Yeah, I know, but after that," Hiccup covered his eyes. It seemed to help.

"Well, we came back here and finished the cake, then you threw up." Astrid scrubbed the makeup from her eyes, turning the soap black-blue. "Do you remember that?"

"No," Hiccup groaned, humiliated.

"Its fine, I shouldn't have let you drink so much. I'm sorry I didn't stop you." Astrid rinsed and patted her face dry with a towel. "I cleaned you up and put you to bed. You tried to sleep in the bath tub, you know."

"What?" Hiccup asked.

Astrid's smile vanished. "You threw up and then fell in it. I gave you a bath."

Hiccup rubbed his temples. "I think I can vaguely remember that. Is that what smells in here?" He glanced at his soiled clothes on the floor.

"Yeah," Astrid nodded. "I'll wash them today so they won't stain."

Hiccup sat while Astrid brush her teeth. When was the last time he'd seen her in her underwear? It felt like a while. Then, eyes on the colored hem along the curve of her backside, a blurred, blacken-edged dream came to him, one he wished wasn't true.

"Astrid?" Hiccup asked, and waited for her attention to add, "Did we have sex last night?"

She paused, and her eyes faltered. "Yeah. Do you remember? We were in the alley outside the club."

"It's blurry," Hiccup said. He had pushed her. Her hand had pushed against his shoulder, he remembered the unsettling pressure, but he had gone through with it anyway.

"What else do you remember?" Astrid asked softly.

"Nothing substantial," Hiccup stood up and made for the door. He hand landed on the knob and his foot was on the other side when he turned around, blocking the door. Astrid stood at the sink, fiddling with something. Hiccup inhaled, and with his brain partly shut down and his heart still intoxicated, he added "I can't do this."

"What?" Astrid asked, looking at his reflection in the mirror. "Do you want me to make you some coffee?"

"No, Astrid, that's not what I meant." Hiccup tense his grip on the knob. "This…not talking to each other. I can't do this anymore." He saw the wide-eyed girl staring at him, but her expression didn't register. Words flowed too easily to stop. "We don't talk to each other. You don't tell me things. I know you're hiding things, Astrid, and I hate it. People are following me, you're talking about strange men in your sleep like they're coming after you, but you don't talk to me about it, you come home looking like you'd been…attacked and you shrug it off like it's no big deal. It's a fucking big deal, Astrid! I don't feel like you trust me, and if you don't trust me then how am I supposed to trust you? This whole thing…this was a bad idea. I knew, but I refused to listen. My dad was right. This was a mistake."

Without realizing it, Hiccup had moved to the living room to pace. As the words ceased and his chest thumped as much as his head, he turned back to the open bathroom door. Astrid sat on the floor, head in her hands, tears streaking down her freshly washed face, sobs shaking her entire body.

"I'm sorry," she gasped through the sobs.

"Astrid?" Hiccup swallowed.

"I'm sorry, I should have told you." She collapsed, head to the floor.

Hiccup walked back to the bathroom and knelt. He'd never seen her cry like this, so openly. He'd never seen her so…broken. "Astrid, I-I…"

"Please, don't leave me," Astrid sobbed.

"What?" Hiccup blinked. He reached down and grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her up to a sitting position. Her limp body gave little resistance.

Her puffy eyes looked up at him, and then down at the floor. "I'm sorry."

"Astrid, we can work on it," Hiccup said. "That's what people do, right? But you have to talk to me. I want to trust you, I do, I-I want to look forward to seeing you every morning, not dread the awkward silence. Just…talk to me."

"I'm…I was an escort," Astrid choked out. "A whore!"

"What?"

"I'm no good," Astrid gasped, and if it wasn't for Hiccup's hands holding her, she'd be on the floor. Her teary eyes shot up to him. "But I told Alvin I didn't want to do it anymore, and he told me I didn't have to. He never made me…he gave me more hours at the restaurant to make up for the difference. I'm not doing that anymore…I'm not!"

Hiccup swallowed. The world suddenly felt far away.

"Please, Hiccup, please don't leave me," Astrid pleaded. She reached up for his arms and wrapped her fingers around him. "Please, don't hate me…I stopped because of you, I want to be with you."

Hiccup shook his head. She's making this up. He's still dreaming. She's not saying what he thinks he's hearing. "What? Astrid, slow down, what are you talking about?"

Astrid closed her eyes tightly, and several tears squeezed out, running down the wet tracks on her cheeks. She inhaled and said weakly, "How about that coffee first?"

Hiccup shook his head.

"After that, I'll tell you everything. I promise."

Hiccup hesitated, thought of locking her in the bathroom until she told him whatever it was, but instead helped her stand. He dressed while she made coffee, and soon the apartment smelled like a morning should. Astrid retrieved her pajama pants from the bedroom floor and sat two steaming mugs on the coffee table, and sat beside Hiccup. He brushed a clump of hair from her shoulder.

She took a sip of her coffee and then said into it, "When my parents died, Alvin kept me out of foster care. He and my dad had been good friends, and he took me in. He…runs a series of mostly legal businesses, like the Rachel's chain, and some that aren't so legal, like…the escort service at his hotel and casino in St. Louis."

"Is that where you went?" Hiccup asked lowly.

"Yeah," Astrid nodded. "I always knew what he did. But it wasn't a horrible thing. He took unfortunate girls and gave them a job, a roof, and food. He never forced them to do anything…but once you're in it's hard to get out."

"Why?" Hiccup asked. "Why not just say no?"

"The money," Astrid said weakly. "I-I couldn't live on a waitress's salary, and that way…I'd work one weekend a month had be able to afford school and this apartment and food. For one lousy night a month I could live well." Suddenly, Astrid's face turned sour. "Don't tell me that I should have said no and lived in a box in the park instead, because that's where I would have ended up, or in some crack den."

"I wasn't going to," Hiccup said. He held his coffee cup with both hands, the one Astrid had gotten him, and stared down into the steaming liquid. "You slept with other men while you were with me?"

Astrid faced paled, and she gently nodded, and a stray tear rolled down her almost dried cheek. "Just one, and I felt horrible afterward. I've…never been in a relationship like this. All I could think about was you, and how I'd been the horrible person, and I wasn't think about how you would feel about it, and…I couldn't do it again."

Hiccup sipped the coffee, picking through the words that slammed into him, choosing carefully, trying not to drop the cup. "Astrid, what if one of them had a…disease or something? Then you'd get it and pass it one to me."

"I know," Astrid nodded. "I use a condom, every time. And the pill for extra measure. Alvin's not exactly the kind of guy that would let something like that slide. A girl got something about a year ago, and the guy she was with never came back, and turned up missing."

Hiccup blew into the steam. "Did Alvin…do something to him?"

"I don't doubt it. He's got connections, Hiccup." Astrid bit her lip.

She'd slept with someone else. "You cheated," Hiccup blurted out loud.

Astrid coughed into her coffee, almost spilling it. "I know, and there's nothing I can do to take it back. I'm sorry, Hiccup, I am. I love you, and I should have been thinking about you. I was thinking about myself, and money, and I should have been thinking about us. I was in the wrong."

"Yeah," Hiccup stared at the coffee.

"Please, don't leave me," Astrid whispered, cup shaking in her hands.

The cup shook violently, and Hiccup set his own down before reaching for hers, taking it from her unsteady grip. Her sobs returned and he hesitantly embraced her. She reciprocated his embrace, burying her face into his shoulder. How many others had she hugged?

His girlfriend had been an escort. A prostitute. Woman of the night. Hooker. Whore.

"There's something else you should know," Astrid said quietly into his neck.

Hiccup pulled away from her, knowing nothing could be worse than the news she'd previously delivered, but fearing that something could be. "What?"

"It's about my parents," Astrid said. She cleared her throat.

"Yes?" Hiccup asked.

"I've never told anyone this," Astrid whispered. She looked up at him, her brows softened and her lips quivered. "They…operated in the same world as Alvin. I know that they smuggled. What, I don't know. But…they were killed, murdered. I-I wasn't supposed to be home that night. I'd planned on being at a friend's house. But…I went home for some stupid reason, I don't remember, and I was with my mom, complaining, when someone broke inside and my father rushed into the room, and made me hide in this little space in the closet." Her voice broke, her shoulders lurched forward.

"Astrid?" Hiccup asked. His eyes followed Toothless as he slunk out from underneath the couch, but did not jump up onto the windowsill. He sat on the floor, wide-eyed, watching the two humans on the couch.

"I saw them, I saw the whole thing," Astrid cried. "I watched him kill them, and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't move."

"You saw the guy?" Hiccup asked, disbelief burning his words. "Then they caught him, right?"

"No," Astrid shook her head. "He was a professional killer, it was like he didn't exist. I saw his face, I told the police, the sketch artist drew it out for me, but they never found him. The case went cold."

Hiccup rubbed his eyes. This was all too much for his current state.

"But, then, the last time I went to St. Louis, I saw him." Astrid tightened her hands.

"Him? The killer?"

She nodded. "I saw him, and I couldn't move, and he saw me. He recognized me, Hiccup. He followed me back to my room, and…he attacked me. He pushed me into the mirror, and tried to stab me, but Alvin showed up and stopped him. They tried to track him down, but he vanished."

Hiccup's eyes flickered to her back, and although it was covered by the shirt, he could see the image of her wounded and bandaged. "You were attacked?"

"Yes." Astrid nodded. "But Dagur is still out there somewhere-"

"Dagur?"

"The murderer," Astrid added. "He's still out there. You know those men think are following you?"

"Yeah?"

"They are following you. They're following me, too. They work for Alvin. They're not stalkers or killers. They're protection."

"Protection from Dagur?" Hiccup asked. He'd landed in a soap opera somewhere along the way, and he'd like out.

"Yes. He's a monster, Hiccup. A psychopath with no regard of human life. I'm just a loose end to him, a witness."

Hiccup stood up and made a lad around the kitchen as all of this information turned in his head. On a whim, he dashed into the bedroom for his keys, wallet, and phone.

"Where are you going?" Astrid stood up quick, hands outstretched.

"I'm hungry," Hiccup said. "I'm heading to McDonalds before breakfast is over. You want me to bring you anything?"

Astrid shrugged. "Are you coming back?"

"Yes," Hiccup said, looking around. "All my stuff is here."

"I can go with you," Astrid took a step toward him.

"No, I'd like to go alone." Hiccup clutched his phone, looking away from Astrid's defeated stare. "I have a lot to think about."

"You want to take the car?" Astrid said softly.

"No, I'm good," Hiccup slipped on his shoes. "But thank you."

Astrid stood frozen while Hiccup left, letting the door fall closed behind him. He marched to the elevator and closed his eyes as the door down the hall opened, and Sunglasses stepped out. Protection from a murderer. How was he supposed to believe that? What was real and what wasn't?

His stomach growled and his head pounded as he walked the several blocks in the crisp post-winter air. Inside the McDonalds, the warm air smelled like hash browns and coffee. Hiccup took his food to the far corner of the playroom, as far away from the other customers as possible. He devoured half of it before he reached into his pocket for his phone and thumbed through his contacts. His thumbed stopped, and after a slight hesitation, he tapped on Mom.

It rang on the other side and Hiccup held the phone to his ear, tapping on the plastic food tray. After the four ring he was ready to hang up and call it a failure, but a warm, uncertain female voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Uh, hi," Hiccup stammered. He hadn't prepared anything to say. "I-I looking for Valka."

"This is she," Valka said calmly. "Who is this?"

"Hiccup," Hiccup said quickly, not thinking. "I mean, Harold. Your son."

Valka gasped and something clattered in the background. "You called? I didn't think you would. Your father said you'd ignore me."

"You talked to Dad?"

"Yes," Valka said after a pause. "He called me. It made me think about the wrongs I've done, and I wanted to meet my son. I-I'm sorry for leaving. It was more complicated than I can explain. But what's done is done, and there is no changing it. I can only ask your forgiveness."

Hiccup sat, phone frozen in his hand, food cooling on his plate. "Its fine, I mean, it's done, right?"

Valka sighed. "Thank you, Harold. Did you say your name was Hiccup?"

Hiccup laughed nervously. "Yeah…it's a nickname."

"It's not a very nice one. Your father used to call you that when you were a baby, because you were so small." Valka sighed again.

"Its fine," Hiccup tapped his foot. "It sort of stuck, you know?"

"I suppose," Valka said.

Hiccup tapped his fork on the side of the tray. He felt better after eating, but his entire body had been wound around too many sharp corners. He didn't feel like flying around another, and settled so a simple question, "Mom, what do you do exactly?"

"I work for Calico, a nonprofit animal research and recuse house." Valka's answer held no hesitation. "I've been all over the world, seen amazing creatures that most people won't even see in pictures."

"So you like your job?"

"I do, very much," Valka said. But enough about me, I want to know about my son."

Hiccup half-laughed. "It's not that exciting."

"To you, maybe, but to me it's a life I made and I want to know all about it," Valka said cheerfully, and it was only then that Hiccup realized the sullen misery she'd spoke in before.

Hiccup recounted things as they came to his mind, and as prompted by Valka, of his past twenty-three years. The breakfast hour turned over to lunch and as the restaurant filled with loud children, Hiccup threw his cold food away and left, walking slowly back to the apartment, phone against his ear. He paused on the sidewalk outside his apartment just when he arrived at his current life situation in his retelling.

"You're going to school? That's fantastic, Son!" Valka said warmly. "Are you living in a dorm? Your father said something about you having a place down there."

"I-I got a place," Hiccup said slowly.

"What about it?" Valka said quickly, not missing the hitch in his words.

"I'm living with someone," Hiccup glanced up at the closed curtains of his and Astrid's bedroom.

The other end was silent for a moment. "I know. Your father told me about her."

"If you knew then why did you ask?"

"I didn't want to be blunt," Valka said softly.

"Its fine," Hiccup shrugged. "I'm used to blunt."

"Your father doesn't like her, I take it."

"No, he doesn't." Hiccup sighed.

"His father didn't like me, either." Valka laughed, and then she sighed. "This is early, I'm sure, I'd like you to come and visit me. Maybe for a weekend? I can pay for your flight. I'd like to see you."

Hiccup opened his mouth, but no sound came out. "My spring break is coming up, this next week. I wouldn't have to worry about missing class or getting back late."

"Oh, that would be wonderful, Harold."

Hiccup slumped against the wall in the elevator, still clutching his silent phone. He dropped it into his pocket. As the doors swished closed, he saw Sunglasses come inside the lobby. This time, Hiccup didn't avert his stare, but held it until the elevator doors blocked his view.