Happy 2 years of "Moonlit!" :-) Note: Two scenes toward the end of the chapter have not been seen by my beta.
~*~ Chapter Twenty-Five ~*~
Oh, sweet Jesus. Matt was kissing the side of her neck, and it felt amazing. How could a touch on one little part of her body send off so many signals to the rest of her? Bella let out a little moan, and was grateful that she was sitting down. She doubted her legs would have been able to hold her up. Her hands curled at the nape of Matt's neck. He raised his head and kissed her lips again, and slowly, they started sliding down on the couch. Oh god, it felt so wonderful.
Even when his hands started pulling on the waist of her shirt, moving up underneath, she didn't want it to stop. But her heart was pounding fast, her breath was getting short, and she needed a moment to breath. Bella put her hand on Matt's wrist, stopping him, and pulled her mouth away from his. Matt stilled his hands, but he continued to lightly kiss her, soft presses of his mouth across her cheek. "Is everything alright?" he whispered into her ear.
Bella nodded her head. "Yes," she answered breathily, but then put her hands behind her and pushed herself back up into a sitting position. She and Matt were on his couch, and alone in the apartment. It was the first week of October and they'd managed to see a lot of each other since their first date the week after the party. After picking her up on campus Matt had surprised her by taking her to the Robert Frost Trail. It was thoughtful of him to try to merge her interest in Literary Studies with his in the outdoors. When Matt had gotten out of the car and held out his hand to her, Bella had hesitated. She had agreed to do the Trail with Carlisle, but she was hardly in a position to back out. Counting on Carlisle understanding, Bella had put her hand in Matt's.
Afterward, they had seen each other nearly every day: lunches, study groups, evening get-togethers with various people - particularly Ramesh, Barry and Anna. They weren't exactly attached at the hip, but the chemistry was tangible. There was no official becoming a couple. It was just spending time together, enjoying each other's company with and without other friends around. There'd been lots of kisses and touching, but tonight was their first time alone together in a private setting.
Matt sat back, making sure that he wasn't overwhelming Bella. "Hey, listen," he said gently. "You know I'm not expecting anything. It's still pretty early for that kind of thing, okay?" Matt put his hand on the side of Bella's head, his fingers combing her hair, and he smiled when he made eye contact with her.
"I know." Bella smiled back. "It's just that this is kind of new for me."
"What is?" Matt asked slowly, surprise clear on his face. "This?"
Bella nodded. His surprise made her feel self-conscious, as though she needed to explain why she'd never been in this position before. She bit her bottom lip as she tried to find the words. Matt put his arms around her, and leaned back into the couch, curling her into his side. "I don't know how I got so lucky. Bella, you are amazing – smart, beautiful, funny. That I'm the first person you've let this close to you is a gift I'm not going to take lightly."
Bella smiled; she couldn't help it. She just felt warm inside. "Well, I can't say I haven't kissed before, but you would be my first boyfriend." Matt's body was hard and soft in all the right places. He didn't feel like a cold statue gradually heating, but was flesh and bone, generating his own heat. Bella liked the way her hip could settle against his, side to side. He molded into her as much as she did into him.
"Boyfriend, huh?" Matt nuzzled the top of her head teasingly. Bella snorted and jabbed him in the side. "Does that mean there isn't anyone else you're looking at?"
"No, there's no one else." Bella laughed at him without missing a beat. She was rewarded with a kiss. Still smiling, Bella let her lips settle into kissing him back. She started to wonder why Matt would ask her if there was someone else, but got distracted as the heat between the two of them flared. This time they remained sitting up, though their hands still wandered. Matt's found their way into her hair, and her own moved up and down his chest, around his waist. There was confidence in the way Matt's lips moved on her, his hands holding and touching her.
It didn't matter, but the need to know made Bella reluctantly pull her lips back, creating an awkward popping sound as the suction was broken. "Matt, um, I'm guessing that you're not a virgin?"
Matt moved his hand down from her hair to stroke her back. "No, I'm not," he answered honestly.
"Does that make it harder for you to not keep going?"
He breathed in through his nose, and shifted Bella so that they were better able to face each other. "Bella, some things don't need to be said, but I want to be clear that this isn't casual for me. I don't know where you and I are going, but I'm here to see it through. Yes, I want to kiss you and touch you and hopefully, one day, make love with you – but that will come on its own when the time is right. I'm willing to take it at a pace that's right for you."
"Okay." Bella nodded. This guy was just the next thing to perfection. Some of his blond hair fell in front of his eyes, and Bella brushed it away.
Matt took her hand and kissed it. "When the time comes, I want it to be special for you."
Bella settled in against his side again. He put his arm around her and leaned back, so that they were both reclined on the couch. They lay there for a moment, just cuddling, their fingers intertwined and stroking.
"Was your first time special?" Bella asked.
Matt tensed slightly. "No." He was silent awhile, and just when Bella thought he wasn't going to continue, he spoke again. "I was fifteen and at one of those big parties that rich families like to throw to congratulate themselves on how well off they are. Some of them are fun, and some of them are obligatory. My family has a lot of friends, and I grew up with a lot of other kids just like me. So I thought I knew what I was doing when a bunch of us ended up on our own in another wing of the house. We were drinking, and letting loose a little. There were a couple girls there, older. I knew them, but not well. One of them got me alone. She had this pink dress - with nothing on underneath, as it turned out. I didn't really want to, but she had me on my back and before I knew it, it was happening."
Bella tightened her fingers around his, gripping them in her closed fist as she bent her neck to look at him. He didn't look sad or frightened. Not even angry, really. But there was regret. "I didn't even like her. Sure, I'd have a drink or a laugh if she was around with some of us, but nothing more than that."
"What happened after?"
"Not a damn thing. I'd see her every once in awhile, but I never hung out with her again. Fifteen's too young to have sex. I might have thought that I was ready, but I wasn't."
"I'm sorry."
"It's just history, Bell." Matt shrugged. "Nothing to be done about it. I'm still me – and I hate pink."
Bella didn't know how to brush his story off so casually, but she had to let Matt set the tone. Sometimes the past needed to stay in the past. "Then it's a good thing you'll never see me in pink," she quipped.
Matt grinned and pulled Bella closer. "It's one of the many things I like about you." His voice grew husky. "And I'm sure I'll love your pink."
"My…?" It took a couple seconds for it to sink in.
Matt laughed. "See? You're turning a delightful shade of pink right now."
Her cheeks burned even hotter. Matt gave her a loud raspberry on one of them.
(~*~)
The rounded wall of the Panther Reading Room was made of glass, so it was a good thing that they were meeting after sundown. Part of Bella wished she were in one of the cushy chairs facing the windows. They were akin to La-Z-Boys with a desk. One girl had actually reclined her seat and fallen asleep. Next time she came here alone Bella was definitely nabbing one.
At one of the long study tables, Bella scribbled into her notebook, muttering as she looked between the novel's printed pages and her white lined page. "I hated A Heart of Darkness in high school, and I hate it even more now."
"Come on, Bella, I've never seen you balk at a literary challenge," Jasper encouraged.
"The challenge isn't the issue; it's the content. Though I did notice that she started us off easy," Bella said, speaking of her Literary Theory professor. "Feminism in Shakespeare. Now it's Cultural Criticism of Conrad." She scribbled some more, and then shut the book. "I'm spent on this topic for now, though. Moving on to BibLit."
"Speaking of feminism and the bible," Anna said, looking up from her own set of books down at the other side of the table. "I just read something you might be interested in. It's about offering a less patriarchal interpretation of the bible, and focuses on the book of Matthew for example."
"Sounds like something I might need later," Bella agreed, and flipped to a fresh page in her other notebook. "What's it called?"
"Postcolonial Feminist Interpretation of the Bible."
Matt rolled his eyes. "That sounds like a snoozer."
"Are you an anti-feminist, Matt?" Anna asked, her voice mockingly polite.
Matt held his palms up. "Not at all. I did, however, take a class on postcolonialism last year, and it is certainly not my favorite subject."
While Matt and Anna briefly bantered, Bella kept on reading, running the back of her pen across her bottom lip. "I should really talk with Carlisle about some of this stuff."
Matt turned and looked at her. "Carlisle? Why?"
"Literature is one of Carlisle's hobbies," Alice answered.
"Mm-hmm," Bella confirmed, only half her attention on the conversation. "I anticipate being able to take advantage of his library during the next four years."
"The guy's a doctor, how does he find the time?" Matt looked between Bella, Alice and Jasper. "Where did he go to school?"
This brought Bella's head up. What did I just say? Trying not to show any alarm, Bella made eye contact with Alice. "Uh…"
"Hey guys, sorry I'm late." Ramesh plopped his books down on the empty space at the table. "And we've only got a little over an hour before auditions. You're coming with us, right?" His open gaze swept everyone at the table and settled on Bella.
"Um," Bella furrowed her brow at him, "wasn't planning on it?"
"You haven't asked Bella yet?" Ramesh looked at Matt, who shook his head in answer.
"Ask me what?"
Still standing, Ramesh hooked his thumbs through his front belt loops. "We want you to do Rocky with us."
"Oh!" Alice let out a brief squeal and clapped her hands.
"What's Rocky?"
"The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Alice face was lit right up. "It's a cult classic, Bella. This is going to be so much fun."
Seeing Bella's confused expression, Matt clarified, "It's a rock musical parodying science fiction B-movies."
"Oh, I think I heard of it. Very campy, right?"
"We're coming," Alice answered while Matt nodded at Bella. "We are definitely coming."
"Excellent." Ramesh put out his hand for a high-five with Alice, but was left hanging.
Jasper leaned back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest. Alice turned and glared at him, which hid her eyes from the rest of the table. After a beat she said, "I'm really not going to convince you to do this with us, am I?"
Jasper shook his head.
"Hey, no problem." Ramesh sat down. "At least we got the two of you coming along. Anna?"
Anna nodded. "I'll come watch auditions, if only to keep Bella from being railroaded by you three. I can't do the show, though; I'm already doing VSO and GlobeMed."
"Taking on a lot first year in, aren't you?"
"That is why I chose Middlebury," Anna retorted.
Matt spoke softly to Bella. "You sure you want to come tonight? I don't want you to feel pressured."
"Don't worry about it." Bella smiled. "I'm game."
(~*~)
After the auditions, Bella was in a sort of daze as she drove back to the house with Alice. Rocky Horror was hands-down the strangest thing she'd ever seen. Dancing aliens, fishnets and just about everyone sleeping with each other. The title character, clearly Matt's part, was a man created specifically for sex. Of course, the idea of Matt being made for sex wasn't exactly difficult to believe.
"Watching auditions wasn't the best way to get your cherry popped."
Bella blinked at Alice. "What did you just say?"
"That's the lingo. You were a Rocky virgin and tonight your cherry was popped."
Bella snorted. "A sexual metaphor. I don't know why I was surprised."
Alice gave Bella a knowing smile. "Come on, you liked it. You're not just doing this for Matt and Ramesh."
"Some of the songs were catchy and it was funny, at times."
"You should hear all the call-outs. It's an essential part of the live theatre experience, and you need to catch up before rehearsals start. We'll watch the movie tonight, straight through."
"You already have a copy of the movie." Bella's voice was dry.
"I've had a copy of the movie for a long time." Alice defended herself. "And I might have some props already… and the costumes."
"Oh, boy."
Alice gave a self-satisfied grin.
(~*~)
Bella owed Ramesh a plateful of cookies, or a bottle of wine, or something. Over the last few weeks, he was conveniently gone whenever she headed back to their apartment with Matt. That of course, was just Bella's first thought when they walked through the door. At that moment, while music played softly on the stereo, her thoughts weren't on Ramesh at all.
Their shirts were off. Matt was incredibly muscular, and his skin was so smooth. She ran her hands down his chest, stopping under his navel, where a bit of blond hair gathered in a downward trail. With one finger, Bella cautiously stroked it; it was fine and soft, growing coarser closer to the edge of his jeans.
Matt kissed her shoulder, right where her bra strap met skin. Slowly, Matt ran his hands down along the straps, and across her back. A finger, then two, slipped underneath where the fabric joined. Bella arched her chest closer to Matt, giving his hands more room. She felt the pressure give as her bra became undone.
Before it came completely off, she kissed him. Over and over, their lips met unrepentantly and she lost herself in the warm sensations, almost forgetting about what she wasn't wearing. Matt cupped her, thumbs gently stroking in small circles. His lips moved across her jaw, down her neck.
"Do you know what you like?" he whispered in her ear.
"I like you," she whispered back.
She felt his smile against her skin. "That's a good place to start."
(~*~)
October had a little over a week left. The leaves had mostly turned brown, and very few still clung to the branches that had held them all summer long. Carlisle had enjoyed watching them change; many years had passed since he'd seen a New England autumn. It was one of the many rewards of living in Vermont.
Alice and Jasper were doing well at the college. Rather than having to turn in the same academic rote that repeated attendance at high school required, they were enjoying getting to pursue subjects that actually interested them. Carlisle believed they found the extra breathing room of being at college liberating.
Despite his intentions to spend more time with Bella, the opportunities were still few and far between. He frequently worked thirty-six hour shifts at the hospital, with brief periods off-duty in between. The times that he was home, Bella usually was not, or she was asleep in her bed. Occasionally their paths would cross, and Bella would have a friend or two over: Anna, occasionally Ramesh, but most often Matt.
Bella and Matt had clearly formed an attachment to one another, and Bella was all the better for it. Whenever Carlisle saw her, her eyes were bright and her smile was quick and easy. In truth, Carlisle was relieved. Apart from this relationship being good for Bella, it also something that would have happened on its own. Carlisle had never been in any position to block it, and Renee's words of warning could finally be let go. He was not an impediment to Bella.
For the first time since the move to the eastern United States, Rosalie and Edward were visiting, arriving on one of Carlisle's rare full days off. It was only to be a brief visit, but Carlisle was grateful all the same to see them. Rosalie's greeting was enthusiastic, but she was a bit more silent than usual. Carlisle didn't think that he would ever stop worrying about her.
He was pleased when Edward accompanied him to his office. Edward sat in the armchair, tossing an arm over the back. Rather than go to his usual spot behind the desk, Carlisle sat across from Edward on the couch. It felt as though it had been a long time since he and Edward had a conversation one-on-one. It was a sad remembrance, for there had been years when all conversations only involved the two of them. It had been wonderfully freeing for Carlisle to have him there to speak with and laugh with. He'd enjoyed and needed the acceptance and companionship Edward offered.
"It is good to see you, as always, Edward." And painful, but Carlisle suppressed that momentary flare. Not soon enough, for Edward smiled at him sadly. Yet Edward seemed as equally determined as he to not revisit the same argument.
"It's good to be here. Though it is odd to see everyone settled in so modern a home."
"The house is comfortable, and the best option that was for sale. We have privacy, and Bella has an easy commute to the campus."
Edward ran a hand through his ever-unruly hair. "Yes… Bella… how has that been working out?"
Carlisle frowned. "I don't understand what you mean."
"Living with a human. You have to admit it's a bit different from simply having her visiting."
"Moving in with Bella was absolutely the right decision to make. Something would feel missing if she wasn't here with us. There are times," Carlisle smiled fondly, "when Bella can get a little self-conscious, but that's the worst of the adjusting we've needed to do."
"Where is Bella now? Out studying?" Edward asked.
"Possibly, but not likely. I believe she's at her boyfriend's place."
Edward stopped moving. "Bella has a boyfriend?"
"Yes, they met early on. He was her outdoor orientation leader."
Edward's head was tilted to the side, a gesture Carlisle knew to mean he was either overwhelmed by or focusing on thoughts. Edward swallowed before speaking. "'OINK?'"
"Yes."
"Funny, I would have expected more from such a prestigious school."
"The students enjoy a sense of fun. For instance, as you may already be aware, Alice and Bella will be participating in their production of The Rocky Horror Picture Show this Halloween."
Edward let out a snort. "I can imagine Alice would make a great Columbia."
Carlisle smiled. "A little too spot-on, I've learned. I had to have a discussion with her about exercising caution."
"What role does Bella mimic? Not Janet?" Edward's expression was both amused and a little horrified.
"No part that large, just a Transylvanian," Carlisle answered, picturing the large gold glasses and blue cummerbund. Edward snorted. "It should be a good show."
"Do you intend to go?"
"I wouldn't miss it. You should come, too. It's been two decades since we attended the one in Ohio."
Edward shook his head. "I'd like to, but I doubt Rosalie will want to be in the area. Halloween is a night she prefers to be on the lookout in the big cities."
In acknowledgement, Carlisle gave a single blink of his eyes and inclined his head.
Edward pressed his lips together before speaking again. "So Bella has a boyfriend. That leaves you alone."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Alice and Jasper, Maggie and Esme - when Bella came into the family you finally stopped being the fifth wheel. You're the odd man out again, now that she's partnered up."
"Bella's hardly mated to the boy," Carlisle protested, but then his expression softened. "She is happy. Just yesterday morning she was singing 'Hot Patootie' in the shower."
"Not 'Creature of the Night?'" Edward waggled his eyebrows a little mockingly.
Carlisle frowned at him. "Out of respect for Bella, I'd rather not be thinking about that."
"When do you think about sex, Carlisle? I know things did not nearly progress that far with you and Esme, and you haven't sought out companionship since. Aren't you tired of being alone?"
The change in topic took Carlisle by surprise, and it made him tense up. "Edward, you know better than anyone that I am not alone. Alone is what I was for over two and a half centuries before you came into my life."
Edward was looking right at him and, Carlisle felt, right through him. "But are you lonely, Carlisle?"
Abruptly, Carlisle remembered the conversation he had with Bella in her car, how she had put her hand on his. "Do you ever get lonely?" "Sometimes." Knowing that Edward had seen the memory, he answered, "I will tell you what I told her. I regret my casual encounters, as amiable as they were. I don't feel capable of going there again."
"So when will you?"
Carlisle allowed a small indulgent smile to cross his features. "Is it a crime to wait for love?"
"Yes."
"What?" Carlisle was startled.
"Why aren't you going after love, Carlisle?" Edward was staring Carlisle down, and Carlisle was staring back, dumbstruck. The moment was broken when Edward tilted his head to the side again.
"Are you suggesting that I turn my back on my family and go on a search for a mate, one that will very likely prove fruitless? Does some part of you believe that after all my years of solitude I would walk out on what I have now and search for something new?"
Edward winced. "Of course not."
Still incredulous, Carlisle shook his head and moved away from Edward. He started to pace, his long, quick strides taking him across the length of the floor once. When he turned and saw Edward standing, Carlisle came to a stop.
"Carlisle, just stop for a moment and think with me. When I say 'go after love,' what is your true response?"
Of course, Edward had seen through his outrage. That had only been a surface reaction. Carlisle let out a sigh, letting go of the negative emotions. He closed his eyes and looked deeper. He had been lonely for so long. It was familiar, a skin he had become comfortable wearing, even as it grew painful when those around him showed how in love they were. No, Carlisle wasn't afraid of loneliness.
"Fear," he answered, looking again at Edward.
"You're afraid of falling in love."
"No, I'm afraid of losing love." It all ran through his mind. The moment Esme's and Maggie's eyes connected for the first time. The platonic kiss on the cheek when he and Esme ended their courtship. The arguments with Edward when he decided to leave with Rosalie. The brief glance back Rosalie had given when the two of them left. A woman, a son and friend, a daughter: all stepping beyond the reach of the caring he offered.
The reveal was a little overwhelming. Carlisle didn't have anything to hide, but he wasn't comfortable being quite this exposed to Edward. That level of trust hadn't been present between them for years. His defense was to allow a more comfortable truth to be seen, the newer memories Carlisle had which gave him contentment: laughing with Esme and Maggie; the newly arrived Alice and Jasper setting their things in a bedroom; Rosalie and Edward standing by the tree this last Christmas and Bella - holding his hand in her car.
Edward's jaw slackened as he watched Carlisle's mind flash through the pain and contentment. Then he firmed his lips and walked across to place his hands on Carlisle's shoulders. "You have not lost me."
"I have what you give me now. The best friend I knew seventy-five years ago rarely makes an appearance. I cannot help feeling his loss."
Edward tightened his grip. "I'm here now, Carlisle, and at the risk of sounding cliché, I have always been just a phone call away."
"You walked away from me, and chose to do something that I am morally opposed to. I'm not trying to have the same argument again, Edward, but surely you realize that I couldn't exactly just call you when I wanted to? I'd been doing nothing but reaching out to you, and you still left with Rosalie."
"I never thought that you needed me; Esme and Maggie have been here to help take care of you."
When Esme, then Maggie, had entered into their lives, Carlisle had gained more than one person to talk to, to open himself with. In his mind, his family had simply grown. Later, when Edward had left with Rosalie, Carlisle had known that a part of his son had felt obligated, a debt to her that couldn't be repaid. Yet until that very moment, Carlisle had never seen that Edward had gone where he'd felt the most needed, that Rosalie needed him more than Carlisle did. He had been so blind.
Carlisle put a hand over one of Edward's and stared into his eyes. "You cannot be replaced, Edward. For every person that's come into my life since you, I have not stopped caring about you and needing you in my life."
Edward smiled the truly bright smile that lit up his face. It was a smile Carlisle hadn't seen in years, and it lightened his heart. Things between he and Edward were better again. As one, they both released their hold.
"Fine," Edward said, "then as your BFF, will you please allow me to continue giving you a swift kick in the ass? Stop hiding from love, Carlisle."
Carlisle let his head tilt back as he laughed. "I hear your words, Edward, but I cannot help but wonder at the source. When are you going to look for love?"
"Perhaps I'll find someone when I am free to."
"Last I knew, love didn't wait until it was convenient."
"Wait a second," Edward gestured with his hand, "who's arguing what here?"
"I'd say we're arguing the same side."
"No," Edward shook his head at Carlisle with a grin. "No, I'm not going to let you try to close the subject, not until I get a promise from you."
"What sort of promise?"
"That when your eyes are opened, you'll stop being afraid."
"What do you mean, when my eyes are opened?"
Edward was tilting his head again. "I mean that when you look to love, that you aren't afraid of it."
Carlisle blinked his eyes. Where was Edward coming up with this? Carlisle couldn't deny that Edward once had a sort of youthful idealistic wisdom. However, he thought his friend had lost that positive outlook years ago, that the minds of all those whom he encountered had tainted it. On the other hand, it wasn't just villainy that Edward encountered out in the world. Their own family was proof of that. "All right, Edward, I promise."
A lop-sided grin came out. "Excellent. Now give me a moment to think of what else I can get you to promise me. I've got to take advantage of the moment while it lasts."
Carlisle laughed. "I can't imagine that there are very many things I can do for you that you'd need me to promise."
Both vampires heard the sound of a car coming up the driveway.
"Bella." Carlisle stated the obvious.
Edward crinkled his nose. "She's not alone. She brought The Pig with her."
Bella and Matt were already inside and greeting Jasper and the women when Carlisle and Edward made it from the third floor down to the living room. "I didn't know you guys were coming by," she was saying to Rosalie.
"Surprise," Edward said, and opened his arms for a hug. Carlisle noticed Bella's brow furrow at his tone, but she accepted his embrace without reserve.
Bella stepped back and put a hand behind Matt's waist. "This is Matt."
"Hi." Matt extended his hand, but his smile faltered when Edward merely looked at it. Carlisle sighed inwardly. Sometimes rudeness was a cloak the family used to shield too much personal contact. He wished Edward wasn't making use of that option right now. Then again, Carlisle noted Edward was also refraining from breathing. It had, after all, been five months since he'd last been near Bella's scent. He was just being cautious, and a little rudeness to Bella's boyfriend was a small price to pay.
"Don't mind Edward," Bella said, though her eyes were shooting surprised and angry daggers at him. "He takes a while to warm up to people." She turned to Matt. "I'm going to run to the bathroom and then switch out my books. Be right back." She gave Matt a peck on the cheek and ran off, but not before smiling at Carlisle and squeezing his arm in greeting. The fabric of his shirt retained a slight bit of warmth from her hand.
"So." Matt shoved his hands into his front jeans pockets. "Bella said that you two were schoolmates of Alice and Jasper's?"
"Yes," Rosalie answered while Edward said nothing. He looked once from Matt to Carlisle while Esme took on the social roll.
"The kids were so close, we've come to think of Rosalie and Edward as family, much as we have with Bella. It's always a pleasure when they come visit."
"So are neither of you attending college?"
Back in the bathroom, Carlisle heard Bella singing over the running water as she washed her hands. "It's the pelvic thrust, that really drives you insane…"
Carlisle smiled and made eye contact with Edward, intending to share the amusement with him. Edward gave a slight acknowledgment with his head, but didn't return the smile.
(~*~)
Once she'd picked up the books that she needed, Bella said goodbye to Edward and Rosalie, promising to spend time with them when she got back. Back in her car, Matt cursed a little. "Who the hell was that guy?"
Bella sighed. Obviously, Edward had continued behaving like an ass in her absence. "I told you, he's an old schoolmate of Alice and Jasper's."
"He looks like he's still in high school."
"He certainly was behaving like it. I'm sorry you were subjected to that."
"Don't apologize. You're not responsible for his behavior." Matt glanced her way. "Honestly? I think he was jealous."
"Jealous?" Bella frowned, not liking the thought. Anything that ever happened between her and Edward was long past. The last few times she'd seen him there'd never been any hint that he harbored feelings for her.
"Yeah. Do you have any – Has he ever hit on you?"
"Um… sort of?" Well, gee, Bella, that answer is clear as mud, she thought to herself. Don't go giving Matt the wrong idea. "He kissed me once, but that was a long time ago. He got over his … issue with me."
"Having feelings for you is an issue?"
"Stop," Bella laughed. "Edward is a bit of a jerk sometimes, but he's okay overall. He chilled out enough that we're friends."
"Hmm." Matt's frown was faked. His eyes made it clear that he was teasing her.
"And, in the interest of full disclosure, Alice surprised me with him as my date for the prom. It was fun and completely platonic on both sides, I swear."
"You never had feelings for him?"
Bella pressed her lips together. "Let's just say that there was a big personality conflict. He's not my type."
Matt grinned at her. "You go for blonds."
Bella rolled her eyes. "I go for kind."
Matt settled back in the passenger seat. "Speaking of blondes, tell me more about Rosalie."
Bella kept her left hand on the wheel and used her right to punch Matt's arm.
(~*~)
She went back to Matt's after study group. Ramesh was staying on campus. Bella didn't know whom he'd be spending the night with, and she got the impression that she wasn't supposed to. For all Ramesh's openness, he knew how to be discreet. Bella wondered if she might have been uncomfortable once, knowing a friend was out having a one-night stand. She trusted Ramesh to take care of himself, though, and his decisions about sex where just that – his. Bella was ready to make one of her own.
The kissing started off slow, like it usually did. Sometimes a kiss was just a demonstration of affection, and sometimes it was a way to test the waters, to see if they were both in the mood for a little fooling around. Tonight, Matt was in the mood. Their kisses became more lingering and when Matt's hand reached up to touch her neck, Bella pushed him onto his back.
Her forcefulness made Matt give a startled laugh of surprise, which Bella cut off. Matt didn't complain, and he kissed her back with equal enthusiasm, arms holding her to him. Bella's fingers stroked down his arm, and looped back upward, caressing up his chest from under his shirt. Matt moved to help her when she gave the fabric a tug. His shirt off, Matt pulled Bella to him again, kissing her. Bella reached for his belt, and was able undo it with just a couple hard tugs. Curling her fingers inside the waistline of his jeans, she gave them a rough tug.
"Whoa, whoa, Bella." Matt pulled back, a hand on her upper arm. "What exactly is going on here?"
"What do you think is going on?" Bella answered, her voice low and her hand resuming its course.
"I think you're moving things along a little fast."
Bella stopped. "Too fast? But, Matt, I want to."
"Well, okay, I want to, too, but I'm not sure we're ready for this."
"By 'we' you mean 'me.'" Bella swung her legs away from Matt and shifted to the other end of the couch.
"No, Bella, show me some respect by not putting words in my mouth. I mean that I feel it's still a little early for this."
"Why do you think it's early? After all, we've already…"
"Yes, but Bella, as awesome as things are between us, it's only been a few weeks. I don't want to rush into sex and have you resent me a month from now."
Bella reached back across the couch to touch Matt, her fingers light on his knee. "I won't resent you. I want to do this with you."
Matt took hold of her hand. "Not yet. Not tonight, okay?"
Bella pulled her hand back, retreating to her side of the couch. "Fine," she said, but she didn't feel fine. Suddenly she was aware of how grubby she was. She hadn't showered that morning, and her hair wasn't done up. She almost never wore makeup. Her clothes were simple, not stylish, and they hung a little loosely. "I guess guys don't want me unless they have to force it on me," she muttered, not quite realizing what she was saying, certainly not thinking it was loud enough to be heard.
"What?" Matt exclaimed. "What the hell kind of thing is that to say?"
Bella covered her face with her hands. After a quick breath, she dropped them. "An ugly thing, I'm sorry. I don't know why I said it."
Matt was staring at her, his brow furrowed. Then he licked his lips. "Listen, Bella, don't let what happened with Liam-"
"It wasn't just Liam," Bella interrupted.
"What?"
Bella took another deep breath. "I am sorry. What I said was stupid and not sincerely meant. But, I suppose you should know everything." Well, not everything, she thought. Bella licked her lips and began again. "Your party… that wasn't the first time someone targeted me. The first time, I was seventeen and I'd gotten lost. Port Angeles is a small city and I had just come from living in Phoenix." Stop babbling, Bella. "I wasn't being careful and went off by myself. Two guys cornered me. It would have been worse, much worse, if Alice and Jasper hadn't happened to find me."
Matt was staring at her. She'd really struck him dumb.
"So I walked away with nothing more than a bruise – and a few months of nightmares."
Matt stood up and started pacing, fists clenched. Finally, he kicked his schoolbag, scattering books and pencils. He turned to Bella and unclenched his fists. Crouching in front of her, he took her hands in his, his voice gentling as he talked. "I can't tell you how angry it makes me that something like that happened to you, that there's nothing I can do to change that."
Bella clutched his and stared into his blue eyes. "You don't need to change anything. Don't you see, Matt? Everything I have with you is good. You are kind, thoughtful, smart, respectful. There's nothing about you I don't like. That's why I know I won't resent you. That's why I want this with you. It want it to be my choice, and I don't think it's too early. The earlier the better, even. Something good with you will wash away those bad almost-happeneds."
Matt had been listening intently. Bella saw how her words had made him feel. He was smiling a small smile, his thumb stroking where their hands touched – until she said the last. He lost his smile and stood up, turning his face away from her.
"Bell, I don't know how to react to this." He shook his head as he spoke, turning to look at her again. "You're asking me to sleep with you because you were nearly raped?"
"It sounds pretty twisted when you put it like that," Bella snapped. Bella began gathering her things, looking at her hands and the floor as she moved. "I guess can't expect you to understand. It was unfair of me to say anything; I shouldn't have asked."
"Bella, no, wait, don't go. We should talk this through."
Bella finally looked at Matt, hurt, angry and vulnerable. "I need to go; I can't stay here like this right now."
Matt was clearly distressed, but he nodded. Bella left the apartment without another word. She berated herself as she drove. Why had she said such stupid things? That didn't have to turn out the way it had, but she opened her mouth and came up with something as ridiculous and awful as not being desirable unless it was by a rapist? Bella shook her head. She'd insulted just about every person on the planet by saying something like that.
Of course Matt desired her. More than that, he cared about her – just as she cared about him. And what had she done? Thrown him for a loop, one after another and then stalked off when he couldn't keep up. The look on his face when she'd told him she couldn't stay there any longer. She'd hurt him, and Bella hated herself for it.
However, she was hurting, too. She'd opened herself up, and Matt hadn't completely been there for her. It wasn't his fault. She'd pushed him into uncomfortable territory, expected a little too much from him. Bella drove on; home was where she needed to be right now. She needed a little time, and the next time she saw Matt, she'd make it up to him.
(~*~)
It was after midnight when Bella returned from her study session. Having gone upstairs to get a book to share with Edward, Carlisle was in his office when she got home for the second time in one day. He heard her stop and say hello to everyone in the living room. There was tension in her voice; she was clearly distressed about something.
"Bella, is everything alright?" Esme asked as Carlisle began to make his way down the stairs.
"Ultimately, I think so, but I don't really want to talk about it right now."
Carlisle stopped. If Bella wished to be left alone, then the last thing he wanted to do was crowd her.
"Would you like me to get you something to eat?"
Carlisle didn't hear Bella voice an answer, so he assumed that she shook her head. Her next words were obviously directed at Edward and Rosalie. "I know I said I'd spend time with you when I got back, but I think I need to just head straight to bed. Do you mind if we catch up in the morning?"
"If you need to sleep, then you need to sleep," Rosalie answered.
Edward said, "Go to bed, Bella."
Carlisle timed coming down the stairs so that he would not cross paths with Bella as she did her nighttime routine. He rejoined the family in the living room, handing Edward the book he'd fetched. Instead of discussing it, though, they were all engaged in a low-voice vampire quick-speak conversation.
"Alice, do you know what happened?"
"Did she fight with The Pig?"
"I wouldn't call it a fight, more of an emotional misunderstanding," Alice answered, and to which Edward rolled his eyes. "And I'd tell you to stop calling him that, but I know you won't. You're so infantile sometimes, Edward."
"What was the fight about?" Rosalie asked, ignoring everything else.
"I say it's up to Bella to tell us that if she wishes to," Carlisle interrupted. "Clearly, right now she wants to let it be. Since she does not appear to be harmed, I suggest we all do the same."
"Yes, Dad." Edward was mid-smirk when he turned his head toward Alice, then rolled his eyes. "Oh, good God."
Alice's eyes were slightly unfocused, only enough for another vampire to notice the change. With a blink of her eyes, her expression returned to normal. She had been smiling throughout.
"We've got to pretend to be asleep tonight," Alice said. "Matt is going to be making a romantic gesture."
"I'm not sticking around for this." Edward was already on his feet and turned toward Esme. "Hunt with me?"
Maggie also stood up, stretching like a cat. "I'm joining. It's been awhile since you and I have had a race, young one." She was out the door before he could respond, and Edward gave chase.
"Wait, what-" Esme looked after the two disappearing vampires, and then at Alice. "I want to know what this romantic gesture is going to be."
(~*~)
Something was in her face. Eyes shut, Bella winced, jerking her head to the side. When the brightness through her eyelids wouldn't go away, her hand came up, palm out. Shielding her eyes, she slowly blinked them open. The bright light was coming from her window, and there was a large, dark shape behind it. Bella tensed for a moment, before the flashlight cut off. The dark shape was the figure of a person, a male.
I hope that's not Edward, was Bella's next thought. At the slight tap on the glass, Bella realized to her relief that it wasn't Edward at all, but Matt. Her boyfriend was precariously perched on a limb of the elm tree outside her bedroom window. One hand held the flashlight that had woken her up, the other kept grip on the tree. A red rose was clenched in his mouth.
Bella slipped out of bed, and opened the window. "You really are a theatre major, aren't you?" She'd intended for it to come out teasing, but the gravel in her voice could have been taken for grumpiness instead. She reached out and helped him enter through the tight space, holding first his forearm, then tugging on his tan jacket.
When he finally landed on his feet, Matt took the rose out of his mouth and held it out to Bella. "For you."
Bella took it with a smile. "Thank you," she said quietly, though not quietly enough for the others in the house to not hear. She couldn't be certain if she could even get away with whispering in Matt's ear and not be overheard.
"I'm here to say I'm sorry," Matt explained before she could ask. "I wasn't listening very well when we were talking this afternoon. You were trying to explain something to me, and I didn't show enough respect about where you were coming from."
"Matt, no, I'm sorry," Bella interrupted, talking normally.
"Shh." Matt held a finger up to his lips. "I don't want to wake the rest of the house."
"Oh." Bella blinked, then whispered, "Is everyone asleep?"
"All the lights were out."
Bella took a second to think about this, and then nodded. Not only would they have heard Matt approaching, but also Alice probably saw him coming. She thought about turning her own light on, but then figured Matt might worry it would draw attention. Her eyes had already adjusted. "Listen, Matt, I am sorry. I threw a lot at you today, and reacted emotionally when you didn't get it right away. It was unfair of me."
Matt lightly laid his hand on Bella's cheek. "You were telling me how you felt; it only makes sense that you were emotional. And I get it, I do. It took me awhile - too long - but I see now what you meant. And I am really really happy that you feel that way about me."
Bella set the rose down on her dresser and kissed him. It was what she wanted to do, and it stopped him from saying anything more. The details of their argument really shouldn't be shared with the rest of the house, at least not this way. Perhaps they'd been kind enough to actually leave the house. Or maybe they were just standing still, in the dark, listening to every word. Matt wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back, eagerly. After a moment he broke away, kissing her temple and whispering, "I hate that we argued."
"So do I. Let's talk about something else."
"Okay, what?"
Instead of an answer, Bella let out a yawn. She grabbed Matt's hand and pulled him toward the bed. Slipping back under the covers, Bella patted the space on the comforter beside her. Matt took the hint, and as she lay back, he stretched out on his side next to her, putting an arm over her blanket-clad form.
"Just talk to me about something we haven't talked about before," Bella said, snuggling in.
"Uh… let me think." Matt launched into a tale about the first time he met Ramesh, which led to other stories. Bella chuckled and smiled, even as her eyelids grew heavy as she listened to tales about Matt's roommate - who wasn't even back at the apartment, but on campus.
"Funny to think that the apartment is empty right now."
"I'll probably run into him sneaking back when I get there." He looked down at Bella. Their faces were close. "I don't want to go," Matt murmured. He leaned his head in to kiss her.
Their lips touched softly, a brush and a caress. Bella was warm and cozy from being under the blankets, and the proximity to Matt. The kiss made her feel even sleepier.
"One thing we've left unresolved," Matt spoke against her cheek, "if you know you're ready, then I am willing to move forward – when the moment is right."
"It will be. I'll be spending the night with you soon," Bella answered, her voice full of promise.
Their lips had just barely brushed when Matt jerked his head at the cracking noise that came from upstairs. "Did you hear that?"
"No," Bella fibbed, and nuzzled Matt into facing her again. "Weren't you about to do something?"
(~*~)
Carlisle looked at his broken desk in disbelief. He'd cracked the edge of it, splintering the wood. The pale reddish tan of the mahogany's natural wood color peaked out in jagged points underneath the dark red finish. Carefully setting the laptop he'd had to catch on the floor, Carlisle examined the damage his hands had made, and wondered if it could possibly be repaired. The desk had been with him for thirteen decades.
How had he lost control like that? One second he was clicking to scroll through the article before him, the next both hands were pushing through the desk where they'd been resting. The mouse hadn't survived the crush of his hand; it was now a pile of broken rollers, plastic and LEDs.
He had been deliberately not listening to Bella and Matt downstairs. Though curious as to what their argument had been about, and hopeful that Matt would repair any damage he'd made, Carlisle wanted to respect their privacy. So Carlisle hadn't listened when Matt apologized, or when Bella apologized, or when Matt expressed gratitude for Bella's affection. (Had it "really" been necessary for Matt to repeat that word?) No, Carlisle didn't listen, but that did not mean he wasn't capable of hearing – and he had definitely heard Bella promise to give herself to him.
Then the desk splintered.
"You'd better go," Bella was whispering.
"Not yet."
Carlisle's fingers curled against the wood flooring, and he waited, listening. Matt didn't leave, not even when Bella fell asleep.
Two minutes.
Three minutes.
The bed creaked, but no sound of footfall followed.
Four minutes. Matt was still awake; what was he doing? Watching her? Was he touching Bella while she lay there unknowing? The boy had sneaked into his home and entered Bella's bedroom, a plan that caused most of his family to leave the house. Carlisle only had so much time to spend with Edward and Rosalie this visit, and he had to give some of that up because of this boy and his impulsive overture. Now Matt was lingering in Bella's room while she slept, after she'd told him to leave. The idea of it shattered Carlisle's patience. It was time to kick Bella's human boyfriend out of his house.
He rose from his crouched position on the floor and in seconds he was down the stairs and at Bella's door. Once outside it, he took the time to slow down. He flicked on the hallway light and gave a very soft knock before opening the bedroom door. The light from the hall first lit up Bella's dresser, where a red rose now rested, and then Bella in her bed. Matt was lying on top of the covers beside Bella, fully clothed. He had indeed been watching her, but he turned toward Carlisle, startled.
"While I'm all in favor of romance, Matt, I think it is time you went home."
"Yeah, you're right." Matt had the grace to look a little sheepish. He removed his arm from around Bella and carefully got off the bed so as not to wake her. "I'm sorry if I woke you, Carlisle."
Dr. Cullen, Carlisle almost corrected the boy, but restrained the ridiculous impulse. "I was awake."
"You heard me come in?"
Carlisle nodded. Matt stood beside Bella's bed, and there was a moment of awkward silence. Carlisle felt his sympathy go out toward him a little bit. Matt was a good soul, and his relationship with Bella was a mature one that didn't deserve the father-with-a-shotgun routine. Besides, Carlisle was definitely not Bella's father.
Matt gave a small cough to clear his throat and walked toward the window. Carlisle stopped him. "You can use the front door this time."
"Right, thanks." When Matt approached the doorway, Carlisle stepped aside to let him pass through. Once in the hall, Matt paused. "Thanks for being cool about this."
"I'm a cool kind of guy." Carlisle crossed his arms over his chest, and leaned against the jamb.
Matt continued to look at Carlisle. "Bella's happy with me."
Carlisle raised an eyebrow at him. "I know she is."
If Matt was expecting some sort of staring contest, he would be in for a crushing loss. Matt didn't press one; he turned and went down the stairs. Carlisle stayed in Bella's doorframe, arms still crossed, guarding it as though Matt might turn around and try to force his was back in. He listened to the sound of the front door, Matt's car door, and the sound of the engine moving down the driveway. Only then did he relax his pose.
Bella let out a whimper. Carlisle turned toward her, and she was whimpering again, her arm reaching out in a thrashing motion. Still standing in her doorway, he hesitated, but when she let out a cry Carlisle went to her.
"Bella, hush," he whispered soothingly. Sitting carefully on the edge of the bed, he took hold of her hand. Bella continued to fret, and Carlisle ran a hand down her arm. Her body settled, and her eyes blinked half-open.
"I was… Meatloaf?"
"Bella, you were having a nightmare."
Bella sucked in her breath and faced him with unseeing, panicked eyes. "The dark one in the alley." She sat straight up.
"Bella, you're home. You're safe here with me." Carlisle moved in and held her close. It both saddened and upset him that even after all the time that had passed, that man still had the power to disturb Bella's subconscious. Alonzo Calderas Wallace was in jail on the other side of the country, and Bella was once again having a nightmare about him. Carlisle knew Bella was a strong young woman, but he wished the horror of that night didn't still have a hold on her, that it could be washed away. Right now, Bella was fragile and precious in his arms, her breathing ragged, but as he held her the rapid rise and fall of her chest began to slow. Carlisle released his embrace and gently eased her back onto the bed. Once her head was nestled on the pillow, he withdrew to leave.
"Don't go," Bella murmured. Her hand was still on his forearm, and she was pulling him closer. "Stay, Carlisle."
Carlisle hesitated, aware that Bella wasn't entirely awake, but he decided there wasn't any harm in remaining until she no longer needed him. Moving over her with a feather-light leap, he settled himself on the covers next to Bella, back to the headboard.
She rolled over and curled into him, giving a sleepy moan of satisfaction. "Mmm."
Carlisle sat with Bella's head on his stomach, her arm around his waist, as her breathing continued to slow and she was fast asleep. Several minutes passed before Carlisle tried to delicately extricate himself. Bella tightened her hold and made a soft protesting noise. Each time he made an attempt to leave she clung to him. In the end, Carlisle stopped trying.
(~*~)
Asleep, Bella was restless, unable to settle. A weight on her shoulders, an itch in her skin. Her subconscious was twitching, seeking relief when a soothing cool came and surrounded her. Bella no longer felt weighed down, but instead secured. Safe. Happy. Home.
Waking was gentle, a soft awareness of the room and the light coming in through the window. Lying on her right side, Bella took a deep breath, and rolled over to stretch as she breathed out. That's when she realized that Carlisle was on the bed with her, inches away. Dressed casually in the same chinos and sweater she'd seen on him the day before, he sat against the headboard, legs stretched out in front of him. "Carlisle?" Her brow furrowed in confusion, since she was pretty certain Matt had been on the bed when she fell asleep, not Carlisle.
"Good morning, Bella."
"Is everything okay?" she muttered, rubbing her eyes.
"You had a nightmare. I came to comfort you, and then you wouldn't let me leave."
A vague recollection began to surface of sitting straight up, Carlisle holding her right hand. Amusement came when Bella pictured what he'd described. Dropping her hands from her eyes, she gave Carlisle a lopsided smile. "I wouldn't, huh? And you couldn't break free from my supernatural hold?"
Carlisle started moving backward off the bed, away from her and not making eye contact. "I did not wish to upset you."
If Bella didn't know better, she'd think that she'd embarrassed him. Bella sat up just enough to reach out and grab hold of his arm. Carlisle stilled, just barely on the bed. "Hey," she said softly. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." Carlisle made to stand up, but Bella tightened her grip, grinning at the irony of doing exactly what Carlisle had told her she'd done last night. Apparently with her it was veritas in somnus instead of veritas in vino.
"It's nice to see you here, Carlisle. I've missed you."
Carlisle turned to face her, his gaze softening. "I have missed you, too, Bella."
"Why do we never see each other anymore? You don't work that much."
"I do," Carlisle disagreed, "and so do you. More often than not when I come home and you're here, we don't see one another because it's the middle of the night and you're sound asleep."
"Then come wake me."
Carlisle dropped his gaze. "You need your rest, Bella."
"True, but I think a little interrupted rest in order to spend time with you would be worth it. When was the last time you and I really had a conversation?"
Carlisle's answer was immediate. "Just before you started dating Matthew."
"Oh," Bella frowned down at the stitching in her comforter. "That makes sense. I'd be home more often if I wasn't out with Matt."
"But you are with Matt."
Bella looked up at Carlisle from under her eyelids, giving a bit of an embarrassed smile. "I guess you overheard what Matt and I were talking about."
Carlisle nodded slowly. "Yes, I did." He remained perched on the edge of her bed, her hand above his wrist keeping him there. It was awkward, and Bella wished he looked more comfortable because she really wanted to talk with him. She probably would have talked to him last night when she got home, if she'd seen him. Bella let go of his arm and joined her hands together. She stared at her fingers.
"Last night I tried to move things forward with Matt and he turned me down."
"He turned you down?" Carlisle faced her more fully, twisting at the waist.
Bella nodded. "Yeah." She sat up, straightening her back against the headboard. Looking at Carlisle she patted the spot next to her, where he had been just a few minutes earlier. Carlisle returned to where she gestured. "He said he was worried I'd ended up resenting him if we had sex too early."
"That's a reasonable argument, but obviously not what you would have wanted to hear. How did that make you feel?"
Bella gave a soft laugh. "Not very good, actually. I ended up telling Matt about being attacked in Port Angeles."
"Ah," Carlisle said softly. He was looking at her with such understanding that Bella knew she didn't have to explain why one thought led to the other. This was Carlisle, after all; he always seemed to understand her. It was nice, sitting side by side with him.
"I really didn't handle it well. First I took him by surprise by trying to push things, then I said something ugly, and then I upset him by telling him about, well, you know."
"First, Matt shouldn't be surprised that you are a healthy woman acting on sexual urges. Second, everyone has said something ugly when emotions are running high that wasn't sincere. And third, Bella, you didn't upset him; what happened to you upset him. None of that is anything you should blame yourself for."
"I know, and I don't – exactly. But I did fire a lot at him in a very short time, and got upset when he didn't just immediately take it all with grace. I told him that I wanted sex sooner because I wanted it to be my choice."
Carlisle took her hand in his. "Is it any less your choice if you wait? Do you think you're going to lose the ability to choose between now and when you're both ready?"
Bella leaned her head onto Carlisle's shoulder. "I can't know what may or may not happen. I just know that I'm ready to make that decision for myself."
"And Matt's the guy?"
"Matt's the guy."
"Do you love him?"
Bella hesitated. Being with Matt was… fun. He made her feel good, and they could make each other laugh. Just thinking of him caused this funny feeling in her chest, and it made her want to see him again. Matt was a smart, caring guy and being around him made her feel good about herself. Bella couldn't really imagine her life now without Matt in it. "Yeah, I think I do."
"You think you do." Carlisle took a deep breath. "You and I talked once about my sexual history, and I told you that in retrospect I had some regret for engaging in an act that had nothing more than mutual respect and friendship attached to it. If what you have with Matt is more than that, then I envy you what you're about to experience."
Bella smiled and cuddled her head against him. "Thank you, Carlisle, for understanding."
Carlisle lifted his hand and stroked her hair. "Anytime you need me, Bella."
(~*~)
"Check! Him! Out!" The audience shouted while Alice, as Columbia, eye-fucked Frank/Ramesh showcasing his fishnet-clad legs. It wasn't quite the New York experience, but Middlebury managed to pull off a rowdy and messy Rocky Horror Picture Show production – with a little help from Alice and her generous supplies. Toilet paper, water pistols, newspaper, playing cards – even toast were all made available at the entrance to Hepburn, where the production was taking place.
Carlisle, Maggie and Esme were squeezed in among the throng. Jasper, who had attended rehearsals, stayed back at the house to avoid the emotions of the crowd. Rocky was good for getting an open-minded crowd going, but when you didn't have any choice in feeling the elevated emotions of a large, raunchy crowd, staying away was probably best.
Carlisle was having a good time. It had been very amusing to see Bella fret for the last three days running about getting the steps to the Time Warp exactly right. He'd been properly proud of her when she pulled it off along with all the other Trannies, and he hadn't failed to notice that for the last move, she'd thrown herself to the floor with relief and gusto.
The crowd exploded once the show was over. Everyone spilled out into the aisles, onto the stage. Friends greeted each other; more toilet paper flew into the air. Alice, still clad in her corset and boa costume, joined them in the audience fairly quickly. Matt and Bella took longer, likely because Matt changed out of costume first, though the white makeup was still on his face.
Bella, who was also back in normal clothes, immediately gave Carlisle a hug. "I was nervous, knowing that you were out here."
"Why?" Carlisle raised his eyebrows.
Bella only shrugged in answer while Matt wrapped an arm around her, reclaiming her. Both of them were in high spirits, talking and laughing with all those offering congratulations, and always managing to come back to each other - a hand on the back, a touch of the fingertips. It came as no surprise to Carlisle when he learned that they were not going to the cast party. Tonight was going to be their night.
Carlisle was completely supportive of Bella making this choice. In the week since their conversation he had never doubted that it was the right thing for her. All the same, underneath it all, he felt a touch of grief inside. He blamed Edward. Bella's next step in her relationship with Matt wouldn't have made him feel this terrible if it had not been for the conversation Edward had with him. Carlisle was thinking about his single state more often these days, and Edward had to remind him that he was still without romantic love in his life. No mate.
Carlisle watched Bella leave with Matt, his arm around her, her head tilted to rest against his shoulder. His thumb was moving in slow strokes up and down her arm. The whole time they remained in sight, Carlisle never saw them break contact.
Alice was heading back to the house with Maggie and Esme. Carlisle's plans were to hunt. He wanted to leave from right there, but the risk of being seen was too great. So he drove the Mercedes back and left from the driveway, not entering the house, not changing clothes, he just ran into the woods.
He ran going further and further east, up into the mountains…
Bella was in Matt's lap. She was facing him, straddling him as they perched on the end of the bed. His arms were around her; her hands were in his hair and they were kissing, lips sucking unrepentantly. Below the waist, she began to grind against him.
…He caught the scent. There were several scents, everywhere, surrounding him, all different and all delicious. This one was the one he wanted…
She groaned twice, two little rhythmic noises. He was bending her backwards, his arms supporting her in the air, as he kissed his way down her throat, across her chest and down to her stomach.
…He followed, chasing as the tiny rapid heartbeat increased…
Sweet sweet, oh Jesus, oh sweet Jesus. Her body was alive, nerves sensitive to the masculine touch on her skin. She felt herself tumble with him, clothes yanked and jerked off, and she was bare, completely exposed.
…He teased her, like a cat playing with its food. The lynx moved frantically, heart beating rapidly. She was his. In one swift move he grabbed her and thrust his teeth into her neck…
Bowing backwards she gave him complete access, letting him do as he pleased because it pleased her. She cried out, not knowing how else to handle the intense pulsing inside her.
…The throbbing into his mouth was life itself. He sucked greedily, taking it all…
The little death. That's what they called it. She gasped, sucking for breath.
…It was only a moment before he was sucking again, tasting again. More blood, more heartbeat against his mouth. Tonight, it was insatiable for it…
"Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh-oh." There wasn't enough time for recovery before he was moving again and the sensation was beautiful.
(~*~)
The night was still. His presence had caused the creatures to quiet and there was silence. The trees rose up around him, encasing him as he sat on the ground. A drop of blood fell from his mouth and onto the back of his left hand, making a tiny trail around the knuckle of the second finger in. Carlisle tilted his head back and looked up at the sky.
The silence of the apartment settled around her as Matt slept beside her on his stomach, one arm wrapped around her. She should be tired, but she wasn't. Her body was, but her mind was alive. Gently, Bella slipped out from under Matt's arm and went to the window. Her head fell in a slow tilt to the side as she looked up.
The night was bright, but not overly so. Carlisle and Bella could not see the moon behind the white clouds. That didn't mean that it wasn't there, ready and waiting for its time to emerge.
A/N: Acknowledgements: To AllTheOtherNamesAreUsed goes credit for "The Pig," completely her idea. SleepyValentina's genuine feedback on Chapter 23 formed a line of Edward's dialogue. Gisellelx planted the idea in my head that canon Edward and Carlisle saw Rocky together. BookWormBaby2580 helped me through a question I had to blushingly ask. Malianani saw the fear pushing Carlisle to be blind.
Next Chapter… We jump ahead to September 2008. It's time for Bella to lose some of her blinders about Carlisle, don't you think?