A/N: Thanks for coming back!
Chapter 31 will not be ready by next Monday, due to the major holiday weekend here in the U.S. Hopefully I will be able to update two Mondays from now. 11/30/12: Next chapter won't be ready by then. Will update as soon as possible. 2/10/13 Slow and steady wins the race?
AllTheOtherNamesAreUsed has beta'd this with pinache, patience, and research. Credit to her goes Esme's first schooling, as she used it in her own story "Prelude in C" and was happy to share it with me. BookwormBaby2580 held my hand through a lot of this. I'd never make it through without you girls!
~*~ Chapter Thirty ~*~
"Bella." Stretched out beside her in the bed, Carlisle kissed her hair, her temple, the flesh in front of her ear. "Bella," he said again, ever so softly.
"Mmm," was the sleepy response.
"I need to leave."
"Mmm?" Bella opened her eyes. The first thing she was aware of was that she was in Carlisle's arms. He was looking at her with so much love. She was smiling before she realized it. It was unbelievable to feel so happy. As the party had continued last night Bella hadn't been able to keep up with the energy of her supernatural family, and when her eyelids continued to droop, Carlisle had carried her upstairs. Waking up in Carlisle's arms was better than any other feeling in the world. And she knew, knew, that it was love. Bella nuzzled closer to his hard chest, looking for a comfortable place to rest her head.
"My shift is starting soon. I need to go," Carlisle said again.
"Go?" Bella repeated, disappointed as the reality of his words broke through her morning haze. Somehow, naively, she'd pictured being able to spend the next several days with Carlisle uninterrupted. Or, at the very least, today.
"I know." Carlisle pressed his lips to the top of her head. "I don't wish to go, but I can't find someone to cover my shift. Perhaps I can get someone for the latter half."
"Oh, no." Bella groaned, the back of her hand coming up to her eyes as she rolled onto her back. "It's a 36 hour shift, isn't it?"
"Yes, but I will do my best to be home earlier than that."
"Mmm," was Bella's only response as she pulled him in for a too-brief goodbye kiss.
(~*~)
An hour and a half later, showered and refreshed, Bella walked into the kitchen with a bounce in her step. "Good morning," she sang to the ladies of the house.
"Good morning, lovebird," Maggie answered. She sat at one of the island stools and had one leg up on the stool next to her.
"Did you sleep well, Bella?" Esme asked, carefully mixing together a banana pancake batter.
Bella wondered if her grin looked foolish, but didn't care. "I can't remember the last time I slept so well."
"We certainly tired you out. I thought I'd make it up to you with breakfast."
Bella wanted to protest that Esme didn't have to, but she just didn't feel like going into the same circle of polite protest and gentle insistence that had been their habit whenever Esme or another member of the family took it into their head to cook for her. "That's kind of you, thanks."
Humming to herself, Bella went into the fridge and pulled out a pitcher of orange juice.
Esme put a cool hand on Bella's shoulder. "I am so happy to see you like this. You're just glowing."
"I have to admit, I kind of feel that way."
"I'm just glad that we're finally here," Maggie said, and then clarified. "No more guessing and pretending we haven't noticed anything."
"Oh," Bella winced and then laughed. "It is rather embarrassing that everyone noticed so much while I remained oblivious."
"You were supposed to be oblivious, to figure it out on your own," Alice added. "Otherwise how could it work out so well? I'm still somewhat angry with Maggie for what she said to you in the bistro just before we left Washington."
"What?" Bella turned to Maggie, wide-eyed. "What did you say?"
"To be completely truthful, I was not the one that started subtly poking at you about Carlisle." Maggie directed her thumb at the culprit. "Alice was."
"My remark was much more innocent than yours."
"Only because I had your joke about Carlisle's foot rub to set me up."
"Isn't it past time to stop arguing about that, you two?" Esme was a little exasperated. "The angry texts back and forth once we were on the road again were quite enough, thank you."
"Don't be so high and mighty, my dearest. You weren't above poking at Carlisle a time or two yourself," Maggie pointed out.
Bella crossed her arms over her chest and looked at the three women, open-mouthed. "You all have been having quite a lot of fun at our expense these last couple years, haven't you?"
"Yeah, well, you take your fun where you find it." Maggie was unrepentant.
"True," Esme said, presenting Bella with a plate of three perfectly golden pancakes.
At that moment, Rosalie entered the kitchen. "It's not all going to be fun and games from here."
Bella carefully swallowed the food in her mouth before responding. "What's wrong, Rosalie?"
"Nothing is wrong," Rosalie said, but there was too much grumpiness in her voice for Bella to believe her. The disbelieving silence that followed must have clued Rosalie in, because she gave Bella a smile and lightly touched the back of her hand. "Truly, I am happy for you and Carlisle. He's been alone for so long, and I hated seeing him so unhappy last month. I just have a concern."
"And that would be…?"
"You're human. He's not."
Relieved, Bella laughed. "Is that all? Because if you don't know that I'll readily become one of you, you should." Bella went back to eating Esme's pancakes.
"That's exactly what I was afraid you'd say. Bella, stay human."
Very slowly, Bella put down her fork and looked right at Rosalie, squarely meeting the fierce expression in her eyes. "No."
"Just think about it, Bella, don't decide right away," Rosalie said.
"I intend to be with Carlisle, and forever is a part of that."
"Which means that you have time to think it over, decide. Don't leap into this. I don't want to have to come home in a couple months and see you as a newborn. You're only 21, Bella. That's so young nowadays. Don't throw it away."
"I'm not throwing anything away. I'm embracing what I have, and there are natural consequences to that."
"There are natural consequences to becoming a vampire, too. You might not find them so pleasant to deal with."
"Rosalie," Esme interrupted, "she's just one year from finishing college. She's not about to ask Carlisle to change her tomorrow."
"Not to mention that Carlisle and Bella haven't even had time to discuss this themselves yet," Maggie put in. "You might want to back off from interfering this early in the game."
"Too late," Bella said. She'd definitely lost the happy smile she'd been wearing.
"Look," Rosalie addressed Bella again. "Maggie's right, I really shouldn't have said anything so soon. But since I have, just let me share briefly why I feel the way that I do, and we can table this argument for later."
Bella pursed her lips and then gave a nod. Alice and Maggie exchanged a look, but no one interrupted.
"I wanted to have children. I wanted to love a man and hoped from that love we'd make a miracle happen. I'd watch our sons and daughters grow, teach and guide them, show them how beautiful the world is. Instead my life is the opposite. I torment and kill, and I enjoy it. If I didn't have more self-control I'd enjoy doing far worse. Becoming a vampire took everything away from me that was good, and I can no longer love. It—"
She stopped. If Rosalie had been more human, she probably would have covered her mouth with her hand.
"Rosalie!" Esme was shocked.
"Are you trying to say that I'll stop loving Carlisle if I change? Because I can tell you for certain that won't happen." Bella was also a little dumbfounded. "Look at Alice and Jasper, Esme and Maggie."
Esme was clutching Maggie's hand. "How can you believe that love isn't possible after changing?"
"That's not what I meant." Rosalie was backing away from all of them, her face sad and guilty and a little horrified. "I didn't mean to say that." And she was gone.
No one in the kitchen said anything for a long minute or two. Breaking her focus away from the empty doorway Rosalie had just departed through, Bella turned to Alice. "Where are Jasper and Edward?"
"Out hunting. I believe Rosalie is now doing the same thing."
Reaching across the kitchen island, Maggie pushed Bella's plate toward her. "Eat. You'll feel better."
Bella discovered that Maggie was right, of course, even though she'd thought she'd lost her appetite. But her thoughts were now troubled. "Do any of you have a problem with me becoming like you?"
"No, Bella, not at all." Esme stroked a hand down her hair. "I've always rather believed it was just a matter of when, especially since I started noticing the connection between you and Carlisle."
"I haven't really thought about when," Bella admitted. "But I'm certain it's going to happen." Bella's eyes landed on Alice, a little bit of humor dancing in them.
"Just to be clear, I am not participating in this conversation." Alice's words were cheerful yet cautionary.
"What does that mean? Do you see something different?"
"Uh-uh. Nope. You and Carlisle discover things for yourselves. I will not guide you."
"That was pretty much my point," Maggie said. "In my opinion none of us should be saying anything until Bella and Carlisle actually get to spend some time together. We've just been getting in the way so far."
"Oh, we're a family that cares about each other. We weren't interfering by having that party last night," Esme said.
"Of course not," Bella agreed. "That was fun."
"Until you fell asleep," Maggie pointed out. "Only to wake just before Carlisle had to leave."
"It's not anyone's fault he has to work."
"No, it isn't." Esme had put her arm around Bella. "Tell you what, why don't we go into Burlington and get some Christmas shopping done together?"
Bella smiled. "I'd like that. Alice?"
"Not me this time." Alice was looking out through the empty kitchen doorway.
"Oh, okay." Bella blinked at Alice and turned toward Maggie.
"You two have fun," she said to Bella and Esme.
(~*~)
Burlington was an hour's drive away, and most definitely one of the cultural centers of Vermont. Bella enjoyed the small city. Far more urban than Middlebury, it was situated on the shore of Lake Champlain and had the feel of both city and country. Once they arrived, she and Esme hit the University Mall first, where there was a watch repair shop that Esme particularly sought out. Afterward, they went to the Church Street Marketplace. Bella felt a moment of gratitude that Alice wasn't there to drag her into the — ha ha — Bella Boutique, as she had done last year. But then Bella ended up taking Esme there anyway. The two of them both preferred to support Fair Trade products, and Bella was able to find a dress for Alice in there.
It was cool outside, but not so cold that it made wandering the outdoor marketplace uncomfortable. The temperature made Bella think of being out in the snow with Carlisle. She'd sent him a text earlier letting him know she was thinking of him and missed him. Opening her phone, and for about the 37th time, she reread the response he'd immediately sent.
I miss you, too. I am thinking of you every minute. Still haven't found someone to take over my shift, but that doesn't mean I won't.
A new text came in from Carlisle as she read his old one, and Bella eagerly opened it. Her shoulders sagged.
"Carlisle isn't coming home yet, is he?" Esme guessed.
"No," Bella sighed, putting the phone away. "It's so weird. It's like he and I are on the cusp of something incredible and are frozen there, not able to move forward. I just want to be with him."
"I understand how you feel. When I realized that I was in love with Maggie, I just wanted to be with her. Only one conversation stood in our way."
Bella paused briefly before walking again. "How upset was he?"
"Carlisle was very gracious about it. I hated disappointing him, but I had to follow my heart."
"Yes. I know exactly what you mean."
They were quiet again as they resumed walking.
"Are you still enjoying Latin, Bella?"
"Oh, um… I don't know. I guess so. I'm still interested."
"But are you enjoying it? You've had a difficult fall term, and since you returned to the house, your pursuit has felt more rote than fun."
"It was finals week, Esme."
"This is why I'm asking as opposed to just concluding. Is Latin your passion, Bella?"
"It's a focus. Words are my passion."
Esme nodded. "Good. Did you know that I have a degree in Early Childhood Education?"
"No," Bella answered, "well, I assumed you had some sort of documents to get you work as a substitute."
"I do, several in fact, some legitimate, some simply with adjusted dates. My first accreditation was in 1925 from The School of the Art Society of Hartford. I keep that with me. Going to school was beyond what I had ever thought to hope for. I always dreamed of more for myself, but hadn't thought it possible. I was scared, and that made it difficult. But I had both Carlisle and Maggie there to encourage me."
"Why were you scared?"
"It meant letting myself be more than I was, tapping into parts of me that hadn't been allowed the opportunity before." Esme tucked a strand of hair behind her ear that had come loose under her hat. Two men walking in the other direction looked over their shoulders at her as they kept on. "It made me believe in myself, which in turn made me a better sister, friend, and lover."
"Well, Esme, I do have to say, I think you're pretty awesome." Esme laughed and put an arm around Bella. It made Bella smile before she continued, "I'm going to guess where you're going with this. You want me to wait to become a vampire, too."
"Not necessarily. I did all this after I changed, after I fell in love."
"Right."
"Education is important to me, as a person and as a woman. That's me. You decide for yourself what is important to you." Still laughing, she gave Bella a careful squeeze. "Right now, I think that should be some Ben and Jerry's ice cream."
"What?" Bella laughed, startled. "It's December."
"And they're open, and you should indulge." Esme steered her over. "It's a beautiful day."
It was. The day was bright and inside the famous ice cream parlor jolly Christmas tunes were playing. Bella sat at a booth, savoring her Banana on the Rum, and probing Esme about her various college degrees.
When they moved outside again, Bella's phone rang in her pocket. Bella answered it, scanning the readout to see if it was Carlisle. It wasn't, but she was still feeling cheerful when she answered. "Anna."
"Bella, hi. How are you?"
"I'm good. Enjoying vacation?"
There was a beat of silence. "Bella, seriously, how are you? What has been going on?"
"Oh." Bella lost her smile. Right. Somehow, she hadn't thought about Anna and Barry. "Well, what have you heard?"
"I'm not sure I understand what I heard. Is it true that you and Matt stopped seeing each other?"
"We're no longer a couple. I certainly hope I don't stop seeing him."
"Bella, what is going on? You sound happy, and I'm sorry, but that's just strange to me given the circumstances."
Bella sighed, searching for words. Beside her Esme gave an understanding smile and moved off to one of the stores. Bella kept walking, wondering how close the nearest bench was. "Anna, it's hard to say this, but I don't know how else to do it. Matt and I broke up because we both realized that I'm in love with someone else."
"Um, wow…" There was a bit of a silence. "Who? And does he… she love you back?"
Bella tried not to laugh, but didn't quite succeed in keeping the merriment out of her voice. "Yes. I'm with Carlisle now."
"Carlisle? Alice's Dad?"
"Um…" Bella was picturing what Anna could be thinking. Yeah, Alice and Jasper's Dad. Alice and Jasper, my live-in friends who are dating each other. And now I'm dating their father figure. "Yes, technically. You do know that Carlisle's just an adoptive parent, right? There's really only… eleven years between us, which is not old enough to… I'm sorry, I'm making you uncomfortable."
"No, I understand. And you sound happy. Are you happy?"
"Yes, I am. Very much."
"That's good," Anna said and then with some hesitancy added, "Matt's not."
Bella closed her eyes and felt the wave of grief and regret that came. "I want him to be."
"He really loved you. I'm sorry. I should not have said that."
"No, it's OK. I loved him, too. Just…not enough."
It was a little while before Anna said anything. "I am sorry for your pain. Both of yours. I think it will take us all some time to readjust. Call me again before winter break is over?"
"I will," Bella promised. After saying goodbye, they disconnected.
(~*~)
Bella couldn't stop thinking about her phone call with Anna on the ride home. Life with her friends hadn't quite been the same since Ramesh had died, and a lot of that was on her own shoulders. She'd been too caught up in herself and her own pain to relate to them. It hadn't felt like she'd been drifting apart from them, but now it seemed like that's exactly what had been going on. She didn't want to lose her friends because of her relationship with Carlisle. She also didn't want them to feel like they had to choose between her and Matt.
It was awkward between her and Anna now, that was for sure. Anna seemed confused and uncomfortable, but at least she hadn't seemed angry. Even as Anna admitted that there was tension, she'd also offered hope that things would turn out alright. Bella intended to hang on to that.
"Have you had another text from Carlisle?" Esme asked as they moved up the long driveway.
Bella shook her head. "No."
"Interesting."
"Why's that?"
Esme only smiled, and when they parked the car, Bella saw why. Carlisle's Mercedes was there. Bella let out a whoop that she was sure could have been heard from inside the house even to human ears, and she left all her packages in Esme's car to run inside. Glancing all around as she shucked off her outerwear, the only person Bella saw was Maggie, who quite simply pointed up the stairs.
Eagerly, Bella went up the steps to the third floor that was Carlisle's office. When she reached the top, she stopped and frowned. He wasn't there. Almost the whole length of the floor was visible to her: the paintings, the bookcases, the couch, his desk. Carlisle wasn't to be seen.
Bella started to turn around to see if he was at his wardrobe behind the railing, but before she could Carlisle made his move. Bella let out a quick shriek of surprise that easily turned into laughter as Carlisle grabbed her and swung her around, spinning both of them in circles. Their eyes glowed at each other and he slowed to a stop. Bella slid down along him into a kiss. It was easy to linger, human heat pressed against warming preternatural cold. In the rush of contact, Carlisle's body was especially hard against her skin. Bella felt slightly sore where he'd first grabbed her. Now though, moving against him slowly, he was more comfortable, more what she was accustomed to when touching him.
Carlisle drew away softly and he led her to the couch. "I missed you."
"I missed you, too."
"How has your day gone?"
"How has your day gone is more like it. You've been working."
"Are we back to repeating each other?" Carlisle's eyes twinkled and leaning back into the cushions, he tucked Bella in against his side. It was a position they'd been in many times, but now it was different. Even slight contact was more potent. The smells were sweeter, the sounds of fabric swishing and soft breath more precious.
"So…" Bella said on a sigh, unable to keep the smile off her face.
"So…"
"Where do we begin? Where is this going? How is it going to end?"
Carlisle stroked Bella's cheek. "It's not going to end. Not for me, not ever."
Bella closed her eyes and let the feeling of his words wash over her. "You'll always feel this way for me?"
"Yes." Carlisle's fingers moved from her cheek to her hair. "I may not be able to grow old with you, but we can still grow together."
"How old do you see me growing? Thirties? Forties?" The thought was a little disturbing. She'd be like a cougar — actually, on the other hand, that might be a little fun. Eh, maybe not.
"Bella, I hope you live a great deal longer than that."
"Well, I'll live a lot longer than that."
Looking at each other, the confused subtext cleared for both of them.
"Carlisle, I'm talking about changing to become one of you."
"You'd be willing to do that?"
"To be with you forever? Yes. Without a single doubt."
"There's more to it than that. It's… Your body changes, Bella. Your needs won't be the same; your skin won't even be the same."
Lowering her head, Bella traced her fingers along his hand, her tips delicately moving along the flesh between his fingers. "I know."
"Do you, Bella?" Carlisle's tone made Bella turn her face and look at him. His gaze was earnest.
"Carlisle." Bella took a second to stare into his eyes, building her response. "Haven't I lived with your family long enough to understand what it means to be a Cullen?"
Carlisle closed his eyes and kissed the top of her head. He didn't want to belittle her or underestimate her. Bella had always been observant, and she'd grown into a strong woman. "To me, you already are and will always be a Cullen."
"So you'll change me?" Bella's smile didn't quite hide the nervousness she had felt waiting for Carlisle's response.
"Yes, when you're ready."
Bella settled against him again, and thought of her conversation with Esme. "I would like to finish college first."
"That makes sense, and I'm glad you do. Are you thinking of graduate school as well?"
"Perhaps. There's a lot to think about, but I am certain, Carlisle, more certain than I have been of anything, that I want to spend eternity with you." Bella snuggled in and lightly kissed his chest where her head was resting. Carlisle leaned down to kiss her again, touching his lips to wherever they could easily reach. Their faces adjusted, moving closer, a pass of the lips on her temple, his chin, until finally their mouths met.
Bella softened her lips, letting Carlisle's tongue in and meeting it with her own. Eager, she pressed for more. It was such a strange and lovely sensation. The taste of him was so exotic, so gently cool, it was like drinking moonlight.
Delicious, she thought. Carlisle's lips left her mouth and moved along her jaw, allowing her to relax her neck. It was so different, being touched by Carlisle like this. So familiar and yet so new. His skin just wasn't human. It was tougher, nearly unyielding. It didn't give warmth, but took hers from her. Though she'd become accustomed to casual touches over the years, there was still an alien feel to him. His lips and mouth were vampire, inhuman and dangerous even in affection. Bella closed her eyes and without realizing it, let out a small, aroused gasp. Carlisle stopped and drew back, and Bella looked at him in confusion.
"Forgive me, Bella, but I'm going to want to be careful."
"Careful?"
"Touching you." Carlisle felt desperate to touch her, to explore her body, but it was not without risk. He was used to touching humans, but not in this manner. It had been so long, he wasn't sure he could trust himself to hold back enough.
"You're always touching me," Bella protested, but she was beginning to understand what he meant. Her heartbeat quickened.
"And I want to keep touching you," Carlisle said with grit in his low voice.
Bella froze. She was leaning against him, pressed into his side, against his body, a mate to hers. That gorgeous supernatural body could and would become one with hers.
Her insides tightened; her breaths became shorter and quicker. Panting, Bella could picture it. Carlisle naked, on top of her, touching her, inside her. Oh GOD!
"Bella." Carlisle grew concerned, but soon realized that she wasn't hyperventilating in panic at the thought of mating with him. He watched as her gaze traveled down his body and slowly up again. It was definitely not panic in her eyes. The scent of her arousal was strong, delicious and oh-so-human. It was better than he remembered, when he had first caught it years ago in that hotel room in Eau Claire. It dawned on him that he had probably been the cause of it back then. He'd made his Bella aroused, before anyone else had ever touched her. Now she was here with him and always would be. Carlisle touched her arms, turning her body and pulling her onto his lap.
Bella put her hands in Carlisle's hair. "Carlisle, I…" Her fingers tightened on his locks, and in turn Carlisle's hands moved, molding her, caressing her, moving her torso closer to his. "I've always thought of you, of who you are. How much you mean to me." With every beat she moved her face closer to his, pulled his closer to hers. She tried to speak around her pants, the rise and fall of her chest pressing her breasts against him. She gasped at the feel of his hard flesh brushing against the fabric at her nipples. "The thought of being with you, of us together…"
Her mouth was so close to his now, her warm breath expelling in spurts against his skin. "Carlisle." It was a low cry of need. "Kiss me."
He did. He could do no less, as Bella practically began to tremble. His lips were on hers, feeling them give way beneath his pressure. He forced his tongue into her mouth, pulling Bella's hips flush against his. She mewled in her throat, and he swallowed the sound. Her body was grinding against his erection and her fingers tugged on his hair. His grip on her hips tightened and Bella let out a grunt.
Overwhelmed by the strength of his arousal and desire for her, it was Carlisle that had to break free from her mouth, even though he didn't need to breathe. But Bella would have none of it. She followed, using her grip on his head to rejoin their mouths. Her tongue was hot as it found its way back into him, and indeed, her entire body temperature had risen. His own skin was warming, taking in her heat, even though their clothes weren't off.
And their clothes couldn't be off, not yet, but Carlisle was not letting go of Bella while she was this needy and hungry. Oh Heaven, what did she just do with her tongue? Picking her up, Carlisle carried her from the couch to his desk, knocking aside whatever was on it. He set her there, keeping his body pressed up against hers.
What am I doing? he thought, but didn't stop kissing her. Her hands fell away from his head when he brought his own up to the back of her skull. He had to be careful. Drawing away, Carlisle gently tilted her head to the side and kissed down her neck. Her skin was soft, and oh so salty-sweet. He couldn't help but give a little lick.
Bella whimpered when she felt his tongue on her skin. Carlisle continued to kiss his way down, his hand stroking in the wake of his mouth, and dropping to her waist. A part of Bella was sentient to the fact that she was sitting on Carlisle's desk and he was drawing up her sweater. It only made her more excited. Carlisle's desk, Carlisle's hands, Carlisle's lips. The numbing pain on her hips was nothing to that.
The sweater stopped just after it exposed one cup of her bra, and then there was nothing left to do but gasp as Carlisle used his lips to nip her through the thin fabric. With a low noise, the cup was yanked down and Carlisle was sucking on her nipple. Bella jerked in reaction, ignoring the cold, feeling the pleasure tug down deep into her center. "Carlisle, yes, please."
And she longed for him to touch her there, to use his free hand to touch between her legs. But it stayed on her hip, where it had moved to steady her, slightly pressing against where she was hurt. Bella was bracing herself with her hands behind her, but she freed one, just one, and put it on Carlisle's head, encouraging his sucking, his licking. Bella's eyes were closed, and she lost herself to the feeling of it, barely registering when her nails lightly scratched at his scalp.
Carlisle let out another noise and released her nipple. He raised his head and kissed her lips, needy, and she met him with the passion of every remembered tug on her flesh. They went like that for what seemed like several minutes, but was definitely too short a time. Carlisle was slowing down, kissing her, but keeping his body away. The sweater had gradually slid down her side again, and with a free hand he tugged it back into place before stepping back.
"Bella, I don't want to take this too far so soon."
Bella's had to take deep, measured breaths. She was calming down, but she still felt incredibly wet. "I know. You were saying something along those lines before this started."
Carlisle grinned at her, and with his longish blond hair mussed from her fingers, it was hard for Bella to not just grab him and kiss him again. "You effectively distracted me."
Bella grinned back at him. "I'd like to again sometime."
Carlisle closed his eyes and said something too low for her to hear, but the last word very much looked like yes. Louder, and with his eyes open again, he said, "Do you understand why?"
"Anticipation?" Bella guessed. "Drawing out a good thing? Forever is a long time, we wouldn't want to rush our early days by having sex right away." Bella couldn't help it, her eyes fell to the front of his pants on the word sex, and she noticed that his erection was still quite large and strong. She swallowed and adjusted her hips on the desk. The movement caused a fresh wave of pain, which she ignored in favor of viewing what was gloriously right in front of her, hidden behind those damn work pants.
"Yes, those are all good points. But I was thinking more about me." On those words, Bella raised her gaze back to Carlisle's face. "I've been in contact with humans for a long time, Bella, but never like this. I need to try to increase my control with less climactic encounters before I can try to copulate with you."
"'Copulate'?" Bella mocked.
"Make love," Carlisle corrected. "And Bella, I really want to make love with you."
Nice save, Bella thought. "I really want to make love with you, Carlisle." Bella slid off of his desk, and rubbed her legs together on the way down hoping to relieve some of the tension that hadn't quite abated yet. "So I'd probably better go right now."
"Thank you for understanding."
"Come see me once we've had a chance to calm down?"
Carlisle grinned again, and Bella's heart beat in response. "Of course."
Carefully, Bella walked to the left of Carlisle, not wanting to get too close. The eighteen inches apart they'd been standing was clearly too short a distance. She might launch herself at him again, despite the bruises she could feel forming on her hips with each step. As Bella passed him, she eyed his erection again. No changes yet, it was still high and hard. Bella knew that tonight she'd be picturing it, thinking of Carlisle and how it had felt to grind against him. Oh, how was she supposed to calm down from this? Just the thought of thinking about it later aroused her and reminded her of how wet she still was.
Before Bella made it to the stairs, Carlisle was in front of her again. "Don't leave," he said on a breath as he stepped forward and pulled her to into his arms again. Or maybe she stepped into them. From that moment everything was happening too fast for Bella to keep track anymore.
They were kissing, and their hands were on each other, just about everywhere. God, Bella could taste him all day, drink him in nonstop — and she didn't dare to stop kissing him when he laid her on her back, right there on the floor. By then his cardigan was gone and his shirt was hanging opening. Had she undone his buttons? She'd been looking forward to touching those buttons and letting them know they belonged to her. Next time, next time she'd show them who was boss as right now she couldn't think for how much she wanted to touch Carlisle's exotic, delicious body. Carlisle was once again her angel, her vampire, and being with him was... rapture.
Her sweater was up at her armpits and his cold mouth was working her other breast now. Bella mewled and cried and her hips came up off the floor. Her jeans felt too tight, too weighty, and she wanted them off. Carlisle's lips moved down her torso and across her navel, while his hands seemed to answer her unspoken frustration. His fingers undid her button, slid under her waistline, and from either side tugged the clothing down. They brushed across her thighs, ridged and got tugged over her knees and finally were off of her entirely. Still lying on her back, Bella closed her eyes when Carlisle kissed the top of her knee, the side of her knee, her thigh. She didn't realize that her underwear was off, too, until his hands slid under her.
"Carlisle?" Her eyes opened and she began to raise her head but it wasn't soon enough. It fell back when Carlisle's mouth landed between her legs and his tongue got moving. "Carlisle!" she screamed.
His tongue was velvety and cool, and felt so different, but oh-so-good right now. She was so wet, and he was… he was. "Carlisle," she moaned again, and then lifted her head to watch.
He was looking up at her, and his whiskey eyes showed so many things. Need, desire, pleasure. He closed them and pushed his face more onto her, and she moaned his name again. His blond hair, his pale, cool skin. Seeing him, feeling him there between her legs, it just felt so right. "Carlisle, Carlisle," she whispered, reverent, elated. Her hands touched his hair, encouraging him, and when his tongue gave a particular swirl, they tugged at his hair while she moaned out just a single syllable of his name.
Carlisle made a guttural noise in response, something she'd never heard before, between a growl and a purr. It made her tug on his hair again, push herself closer to him. "Yesss…"
In reaction, his fingertips pressed into her skin and then he stopped, just before she cried out at the pain. Carlisle didn't move a muscle, but remained frozen there between her legs.
"Don't stop," Bella begged.
Carlisle lifted his head. Carefully, deliberately, his eyes on hers the entire time, he slid his hands out from underneath her and placed one on either side of her hips. He licked his lips. "Put your hands on mine," he said.
"What?" Bella couldn't understand through the haze of what was happening.
"Please, Bella, put your hands over mine. It'll help me."
Obediently, Bella placed one hand over each of his. Carlisle exhaled, and the feel of the cool air on her swollen flesh made her shift her hips. Carlisle gave her a wicked smile, and then his head was lowered again almost faster than she could see.
"Carlisle!" she screamed again when he made contact. He was touching her now with nothing other than his mouth and tongue, and it was absolutely erotic. Bella stopped thinking, and just allowed herself to feel. Her hands clutched at his while he built and sustained her, drawing it out with tenderness, intent, retreat, new strength. She was whimpering, moaning and completely reverential of what was happening because it was him. Truly and finally him. "Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle…" God, Carlisle, yes, Carlisle. You, Carlisle, always, forever, you, you you. "…you, yes, Carlisle, love, God! Yes, Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle…"
When her orgasm came it made her whole body rock and tremble. Her hands tried to stay on his, her fingers scratching at his vampire flesh. The pressure of the resistance against her nails barely registered and she didn't care. Her fingers turned caressing as she came down and Bella and her body had only just one thought. Her every orgasm for the rest of her life would belong to him.
Carlisle was resting his head on her stomach as she breathed heavily. "Carlisle," she said dreamily. She lifted a hand and played with his hair, gently stroking.
"Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?" he said against her stomach.
Bella only chuckled. Carlisle lifted his head to look at her and grin.
"Do you mind if I say thank you?" Bella asked him.
Carlisle groaned. "You never have to thank me for that."
"What about you?"
"I'm… uh." Carlisle smiled bashfully, his eyes looking down and back up at her.
"You're… oh." For a nanosecond Bella's face didn't reveal a thing, then a large, wicked grin spread across it. She didn't believe that this was (or would be) Carlisle's norm. The wet front of his pants was only a sign of how excited he had been. Oh, this was wonderful.
"Are you laughing at me?" Carlisle asked, both amused and mortified, and Bella realized that she had indeed started laughing.
"No, Carlisle." Bella reach a hand down and cupped it around his shoulder, encouraging him to move up. When he did, she wrapped her arms around his neck and looked into his eyes. "I am quite delighted with you."
Eyes slanting with love and pleasure, Carlisle leaned down and kissed her.
(~*~)
"It's fine, really."
"Not to me, it isn't."
Dressed again in the same clothes she'd walked into his office wearing – sans the wet underwear — Bella tried to figure out how to navigate this discussion without it becoming more than just a disagreement. They couldn't possibly be fighting already.
"Alright, Carlisle, I admit, there were some moments when it hurt a bit, but they were nothing compared to how good everything felt."
"Bella, I bruised your skin, in several places. You're sore." Carlisle had changed his outfit completely, now wearing pants and a sweater that he'd let Bella pick out.
"Being sore is a good thing."
"Bella…"
"Carlisle, look." Bella picked up his hand and held it in her own, stroking the skin between his fingers. "We're going to have to figure out a way around this, okay? Our first time being intimate – in that fashion — is bound to have some moments of trial and error. I'm sure there'll be many more to come."
"I don't want to hurt you." His voice was gentle.
"I know you don't. But if it happens it's alright."
Bella's phone rang, playing the song she'd programmed for Renee. Bella picked up the phone to answer it, and Carlisle put his hand on hers, stopping her.
"Have you talked to her yet about us?"
"No, how could I? There hasn't been time."
"Don't. Not yet, please."
"Why not?" Bella asked as her thumb automatically hit Answer. Frowning at Carlisle as he backed away and went to his desk, she brought the phone up to her ear. "Hi, Mom."
"Bella! I haven't heard from you in a while."
"It's been two days and finals, Mom."
"How did finals go?"
Carlisle came back from the desk with a piece of paper. He handed it to her, and Bella saw that he'd written a note. "Um, fine I think I did really well."
I'd like to be able to tell your parents in person. The change in our status might be alarming and best handled face-to-face.
"How did you manage to study with all the moving?" Renee asked.
I know it is short notice, but if you agree, please invite your mother here. I'll cover the airfare for her and Phil, as well as Charlie and Sue.
"There wasn't much to move. Most of my things were already here."
"Oh."
Bella looked at Carlisle. He'd shoved his hands in his front pockets, something she'd only seen him do once before. Wow, Carlisle was nervous.
"Actually, Mom, I was wondering… would you and Phil be willing to fly up here for Christmas? It's been a couple years since I've gotten to see you on Christmas Day."
"Bella, I'm not sure that we can afford it."
"That's just it. Carlisle — the Cullens — are willing to pay for the tickets as their gift to me."
Carlisle smiled. Exactly, he mouthed.
"Is Matt bringing his family?"
"Um, no. Matt's spending the holiday in Connecticut."
"Well," Renee said with the tone of a decision made, "I guess I'd better come up."
The conversation went much the same way with Charlie a few minutes later, and before Bella could even grasp that it was actually happening, her parents and their spouses were all flying in to spend Christmas in Vermont.
(~*~)
"Nervous?" Edward asked Bella as she kept scanning the crowd at the Burlington International Airport.
"No – yes. I don't know what's going to happen."
"Well, first, your father and Sue are going to arrive on United 4257 around 7:43pm. You and Carlisle are going to tell them about your relationship tonight. Then tomorrow your mother and Phil—"
"Shut-up."
"You asked."
"No, I didn't."
"Listen, Bella," Edward put his hand on her back, "everything is going to turn out fine."
"Easy to say, harder to believe. Charlie knows the truth about all of you. How is he going to take finding out that I'm with Carlisle? That I plan on becoming like you?"
"Give Charlie some credit."
Bella grunted. "And Mom… well, she always liked Matt."
"And she was perfectly understanding when you told her that the two of you had called things off."
"Yeah, but how is she going to take finding out about Carlisle? He's akin to a father figure in her mind."
"That one is a little tougher to call."
"She'll throw a fit, is what she'll do. Did you know she told Carlisle to keep his hands off me two years ago?"
"What?" Edward laughed.
"It's not funny. Carlisle told me all about it. She sent me off on some contrived errand just so that she could accuse Carlisle of trying to be a sugar daddy."
Edward was laughing so hard he didn't answer. Bella hit him on the shoulder. "Not. Funny."
"Well, Carlisle is a little pervert, isn't he?"
"I believe I told you once already to shut up. Respect your elder."
"My… what?" Edward tried to speak around his chuckles.
"Your elder. Physically I am four years older than you, and now I am pretty much your stepmom."
Edward stopped laughing. "Now that's a sobering thought." Then he grinned again. "You're acting rather childish for a stepmom. Oh, look, here they come," he added before she could respond.
Bella turned and saw Carlisle leading Charlie and Sue toward where she and Edward waited at the luggage claim. All thoughts of nasty retorts to Edward vanished under the fresh wave of nervousness.
"Dad!" Bella called out and waved her arm in the air, joy temporarily replacing nerves.
"Bells," he called back in return, a little less loudly. They hugged when they reached each other and then Bella switched to Sue.
"I am so, so glad you could make it."
"Us, too," Sue enthused.
Unseen behind the three humans, Edward raised his eyebrows at Carlisle, signaling that he wanted to speak to him. Carlisle acknowledged, just as Edward shook Charlie's hand. "It's good to see you again, sir."
"Edward," Charlie acknowledged.
"Bella, why don't you stay here while Edward and I go bring the car around?"
Bella nodded acquiescence, and felt her stomach clench. Obviously bringing Edward had been the right idea. He'd already learned something from Sue and Charlie's mind, and that was not a good sign.
"What is it, Edward?" Carlisle asked as soon as they'd walked away.
"They definitely suspect there's been a change in relationships," Edward said. "They've narrowed it down to two suspects: me and you."
"You?" Carlisle was startled. "I suppose that makes sense. For a time, you both were the same age level." Now she's mine. I'm closer in physical age to her than Edward at this point, and she's more mature. She's always been my companion. She's meant for me, my mate.
Edward ignored the thoughts that Carlisle hadn't intended to broadcast. "I could tell from Sue that she's open-minded no matter who it is, but Charlie has a definite preference."
Who—
"I don't know. Charlie's always been difficult to read, but I can tell that my being here with you has confused them. Now they're thinking that it's more likely me and that you're here to help smooth things over. They couldn't tell which of us Bella was watching while we walked away."
"If they have a preference, does that mean he's going to be alright with the fact that I'm a vampire?"
Edward shrugged. "I guess so. Their thoughts didn't take them that far, so if it's not on their minds then it's probably not an issue. I can't say what they'll think of your intention for her to be changed."
"Right now I'm worried that Charlie prefers you."
Edward didn't say anything for a moment. "I don't see why he would, Carlisle. He knows you better, and doesn't approve of my lifestyle any more than Bella does."
Edward heard Carlisle take note of the sadness in his tone, and hoped that Carlisle would interpret it as disappointment at not having Charlie's approval.
"Edward, how do you really feel about Bella being in a relationship with me?"
Damn, he knows me too fucking well. "Carlisle, I am very happy for you. I've been waiting for this for years, almost longer than the rest of the family." Shit, what did I just say? Before Carlisle could ask him what he meant, Edward charged forward, as if he'd intended all along to come clean. "Alice told me about her visions of you the first time I met Bella."
"She did?"
"Yes. You remember… you remember my original reaction."
Carlisle couldn't help it. He'd started to growl very lowly. Edward winced, and took a step away from Carlisle.
"Easy, easy. It is the past. But I have to be honest and say that I did believe I could love her. Now I just think of her as a friend. That was settled a long time ago, and you have Alice to thank for helping me put things in perspective."
"Bella is mine." Carlisle stopped walking and faced Edward, several emotions going through him.
"Forever and always. There is no other for you Carlisle, and I would never get in the way of your happiness. I backed off. It was thoughts in my head, nothing more."
Edward watched Carlisle force himself to relax. "I believe you, Edward. I know that you love me and want my happiness. I didn't mean to get territorial. But how did Alice know to tell you to back off if you hadn't made a decision of some kind?"
"I'd merely thought to apologize to her for fighting and hoped that would lead to our relationship becoming easier. I wondered how I would handle that, how to begin to woo her if that was what I was really ready for. Alice didn't need to see anything else. She took me out into the woods almost immediately and set me straight."
"That must have been difficult." Carlisle stepped in to Edward and put his hands on his neck. "Edward, to finally feel that you could love someone only to be told not to. To be forced to choose between your heart and the possibility of an as-yet-uncertain future happiness for me. Thank you." Carlisle leaned forward and kissed his forehead.
Edward closed his eyes. "Well, she's my stepmom now."
Carlisle laughed and pushed Edward away from him. "We aren't married yet. Possibly after college."
"When you change her?"
Now there's a thought I'll have to run past Bella. Would she want to be changed on her wedding day?
"Carlisle, I think you'd better propose to her first."
"No. First, we have to tell her parents we're together." Carlisle sighed. "No offense, Edward, but I hope I'm Charlie's preference."
(~*~)
He was. Charlie told Carlisle in private later that has far as he was concerned, he'd given Carlisle his blessing the day he'd walked into his office at the hospital.
Renee, it turned out, was also expecting the news. She'd flown up specifically to have it broken to her in person, and she'd also had a private talk with Carlisle. Only this time, she told him how proud she was of him for letting Bella live a little first, and to come to him of her own choosing. When Carlisle confessed that he himself hadn't realized he was in love until recently, she'd laughed at him.
Renee still didn't get why the Cullens ate so little at dinner, though. It was Christmas, the time of year to eat all the rich, indulgent foods. There was something odd about those Cullens, but they loved her daughter and she loved them. Renee supposed everyone had their quirks, and was content that Bella was happy.
Next chapter... Vampire/Human Lovemaking 101