Steve entered the cell alone and calmly sat down across from Loki, smiling politely.
"Are you here to take my baby from me?" Loki asks.
"No." Steve says.
"What are you going to do with me?" Loki asks.
"We haven't quite figured that out. We've been arguing, damn near came to blows at one point. But it's been decided that we are not going to lock you up."
"And who do I have to thank for this benevolence?" Loki asks.
"Thor. He didn't want his child deprived of her mother."
"Thor? He fought for me?" Loki can't believe it.
"He fought for your daughter. Look, we don't want to toss you and your baby into a prison cell, but we can't exactly let you go and pretend we never saw you either." Steve says.
"So what do you suggest?" Loki asks.
"I don't know." Steve scrubs his hand across his face, feeling lost and unsure. "As you can understand, we feel the need to monitor you. We need to know that you are keeping busy raising the baby and not doing other things, like trying to kill people."
The sound of the intercom crackles with static and Tony's voice comes on.
"He's staying with us here at the tower. Clint and Nat are already back at Loki's place grabbing Loki's clothes and the baby's crib. There's an empty bedroom next to Thor and Bruce. Thor can be in the baby's life and we can all watch Loki. Win-win."
"You can't be serious." Loki says.
"It's a generous offer. Take it. Look, you and Thor need to sort things out and at least here at the tower we'll be around to mediate things. Keep things from getting too heated. Okay?" Steve says. Loki nods.
"And you are alright with this arrangement?" Loki asks. Steve makes a face.
"Loki, you've done horrible things. If you want to be a good example for your baby now's the time to make those changes. You haven't caused any trouble this past year and so long as that trend continues, we won't have to do anything unpleasant."
"Alright, but Valeria gets her own room when she is big enough." Loki crosses his arms like this is a negotiation.
"Fine." Steve says. "Come on. It's late and everyone is tired."
"Where is Thor?" Loki asks. "I'm surprised he hasn't sought me out yet."
"We haven't let him seek you out. Today has been traumatic enough on you and the baby. Thor can wait until morning to meet the baby and talk to you."
"Thank you for that. I thought…back at my apartment. I thought I was dead, and my daughter both."
"We were expecting a trap."
"How did you find me?"
"The pizza guy recognized you." Steve says. Loki purses his lips.
"I'm in desperate need of sleep."
"Well, the good news is, your new accommodations are just one floor up." Steve stood up and walked towards the door, bidding Loki to follow. Loki felt anxious about this good turn of events. He didn't trust it.
Loki was amazed by the lack of armed escorts as they left the holding cell and walked towards the elevator. The ride up one floor was very short. Tony, Bruce, Clint, and Natasha were all there waiting. Thor had been sent to his room.
"I grabbed everything I thought was important. Tomorrow we can head back over and get the rest." Clint says.
"You are being monitored of course, but there are no armed soldiers here, save us."
"You're very trusting." Loki says like he doesn't believe that statement at all.
"We're not actually. And don't think for a moment we'll underestimate you just because you have a baby in your arms. We told Thor that he could meet with you and the baby in the morning, with us chaperoning of course."
"Thank you. You are being kind. You didn't have to be."
"We know." Natasha says. Loki turns and enters the bedroom that has been selected for him. It is large and has its own on suite bathroom, if not for the lack of a kitchen it would be an apartment in its own right. Then again, this is New York. Valeria's crib is set up right next to the nice large bed, but Loki still feels vulnerable. He places Valeria in her crib, pulling up her blanket to keep her warm. He then turns and pushes the bed frame of his new bed all the way across the room to the door, blocking it. He knows if these people really want in they can get in, but at least if they try he'll hear them now. He wouldn't put it past any of them to try to snatch Valeria while he is sleeping. He takes the pillows and assembles them into a circular nest on the bed. He walks back to the crib and gets Valeria and takes her to the bed with him. Loki falls asleep curled up around her with his hand touching her arm.
XxXxXxXxXx
The following morning Loki moved his bed back and got ready. Aside from a few clothes that are still in the hamper back at his apartment, Clint and Natasha managed to grab everything, including Loki's toothbrush and hairbrush.
Loki picked out a cute little green dress to put Valeria in. Her little head band was also green with a pink rosebud on it. She squealed as Loki tried to put it on her, and then decided she wanted to know what her foot tasted like. Loki decided to wear his tunic and yoga pants. The tunics he has he picked up at a bizarre downtown. The detailing on them is more hippie dippy than is Loki's taste but they are comfortable and remind him of home. He puts on a green one to match his daughter. Loki lets his long hair hang free. Valeria loves to knot her fingers in it…and eat it. It almost reaches Loki's waist now, and is straight and thick.
"Alright little one. Time to go meet your Father." Loki walks out of his bedroom and follows the smell of cooking bacon to the common area where everyone is gathered. Thor rises from his seat and his eyes go directly to the little blonde girl in Loki's arms and he smiles.
He approaches Loki slowly, stopping a good distance from him, not wanting to spook him. Little Valeria looks up at Thor with her big blue eyes and smiles a big toothless grin.
"She's beautiful." Thor says.
"She's precious to me." Loki says, trying not to grip his daughter too tightly. They stand there and stare at one another.
"You must be hungry. Breakfast is just about ready. Come eat with us."
"Alright."
Loki follows Thor to the dining room, along with everyone else. Coffee, orange juice, a breakfast casserole of sorts, fresh fruit, bacon, and toast are all laid out. The casserole gets passed around and everyone serves themselves. It's good. It is egg, potato, ham, onions, olive, and tomato. Loki grabs a little sliver of strawberry and lets Valeria gum it.
"Is that yummy? Yes it is. Isn't it." He coos at her. Loki's sweetness towards his child helps cut through what is an otherwise silent and weird feeling breakfast. Loki's behavior is so shocking to them. Aside from Thor, none of them have ever seen him act so normal and domestic. It clashes greatly with the portrait of the villain they all know. Thor is sitting next to Loki and watching his daughter. He aches to hold her but knows Loki will not hand her over to anyone right now.
"What is her name?" Thor asks Loki.
"Valeria."
"It's a good name Loki. Was the birth difficult?"
"No, surprising but not difficult. I didn't feel her at all and didn't know I was pregnant."
"Did your belly not grow?"
"It did but I thought I was just getting fat. I ate a lot of ice cream. Even then it was nothing more than a minor bulge not a round noticeable form."
"How did she come out exactly? I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that. I'm just curious about your alien anatomy." Bruce says.
"It is alright. While I am male in appearance on the outside I do possess internal female organs. My belly button is my birth canal. Since she did not have to pass through the opening of a female pelvic bone the birth only took about an hour. My muscles in my stomach dilated and stretched and she slipped free from me with relative ease."
"So it didn't hurt?" Thor asks.
"Well, yes. It hurt. It hurt quite a lot. It was the most severe cramping I have ever felt in my life." Most awkward silence followed. Valeria nuzzled at Loki's chest and made mewling sounds. It is time for her second breakfast. Loki doesn't hesitate. He turns blue and lifts up his shirt and lets her latch on right there in front of everyone.
"Why do you turn blue?" Bruce asks.
"This is my natural form. The camouflage makes breastfeeding more difficult. Aesir male nipples are not really designed for this particular function." Valeria turns blue as well. She's lighter than Loki in her shade. She is more of an ice blue where Loki is almost purple.
"If it is alright Loki, I would very much like to hold her later." Thor says. Loki sighs.
"We need to talk Thor. After I'm done feeding Valeria, I'll put her down for a nap." Loki tone has an ominous ring and everyone sits up a little straighter. They know that their little talk is going to be very heated. The others have already discussed ground rules on the interaction.
After breakfast Loki puts Valeria in her crib and shuts the door to the room and returns to the common area. Thor friends are all present.
"Right. We need to talk." Loki says.
"Before you two get started, we have some rules for the both of you." Steve interjects. Thor and Loki both turn to look at him.
"Rule number one. No physical contact. There will be no punching, no stabbing, no killing, or other things." Steve lets that last one hang in the air as he looks at Thor.
"Rule number two. No name calling. No baiting." Steve looks at Loki. "Since there is a baby sleeping in the next room I don't have to tell you to keep the shouting to a minimum."
"And if either of you break these rules the discussion will be over and we will pull you apart." Tony adds. "Agreed?"
"Agreed." They reply. Thor and Loki look at each other again, and again the room fills with silence.
"So, how are you?" Thor asks. Loki rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, but he doesn't answer right away. He considers his response.
"Better than I should be I suppose, given all that has happened. Valeria has given me back a measure of happiness and purpose that I've been lacking for a while."
"You mean killing your time by trying to kill me?"
"I never wanted to kill you. Not really." Loki whispers and looks down at his shoes.
"OH REALLY?...(Thor adjusts his volume down) Oh really? Because you had me pretty well fooled Loki. I begged you to come home during the Chitauri invasion. I begged you to come home after you escaped prison. I begged you to stop the second time you buried the dagger into my rib cage during the Dire Wolves attack. And then again when you ran my left shoulder through with that spear during your little attempt to turn all the world's fresh water into salt water. And then you stabbed me in the ribs again with your most recent serpent attack."
"I never aimed for the heart." Loki says.
"Never aimed for the heart? Each time you launched an attack was a direct blow to my heart Loki!"
"Thor…" Steve whispers.
"And what of your blows to my heart. All these years you claimed to hold a secret desire for me when it was you that called me ergi during my adolescent years."
"That was thousands of years ago. You seriously cannot still harbor grievances for the stupid petty things I did when I was a boy."
"Yes I can! You made me feel like a freak! You made me believe that I was alone in my desires and affections. It was bad enough that I believed that you were my true brother and that my feelings for you were wrong. You compounded them. So yes Thor, after all these years, I still hold a grudge."
"And how was I to know the secret desires of your heart? I am not a mind reader Loki. Nor does it explain why you kept trying to kill me."
"I wanted to destroy what I couldn't have." Loki says. "I didn't even fully understand my own motivations until that day when you had me naked on my belly. I'd trained myself not to think of you in lustful terms, but that desire never went away. I just buried it deep. I played at wanting to kill you, but I really just want to see you suffer as I have suffered all these years. Looking back now I am amazed you didn't try something sooner. I was in prison. I was in Asgard, locked up and at your mercy. Why did you not come to me then and confess your own desires?" Loki asks. Thor just stands there and for the first time in this conversation, he looks at his shoes.
"Oh I see. Coward that you are, you still do not want your friends to think of you as ergi like me." Loki says. "I wonder if Sif knows what you've done. If Heimdall has told her about how you pressed me down and shoved your cock into me and rutted me like a bull in heat."
"Would you have preferred I killed you? Because that was the alternative Loki, and I didn't know how else to make you stop. Call me a sentimental fool for not killing you the first half dozen times I had the opportunity. For hoping, that deep down you still held some small measure of love for me. People don't maim the ones they love Loki. You've done it to me repeatedly. The betrayal…the constant betrayal has damaged my soul Loki! At what point was I supposed to take the hint? The day I raped you I finally accepted that you had no love in your heart left for me. I couldn't kill you. In spite of everything I couldn't kill you, and I didn't know what else to do. I wanted to make you suffer as you'd made me suffer. I finally acknowledged that whatever we had or might have had was dead."
"What we might have had…You know, that day in the vault after you had been banished? I went to the vault and picked up the Casket of Ancient Winters. Father saw me and begged me to stop, but it was too late. I knew the truth. He told me who I was and what I was and how I came to be his son. I screamed at him. Odin does everything for a purpose. The man thinks thousands of years ahead. I asked him why he took me. Do you know what he said?"
"No."
"He said that he had hoped to unite Asgard and Jotunnheim through me, by way of political marriage. After the rape, the ravens came and spoke to me and I asked him why he never followed through with his original plan for me. He said that he knew that forcing me to marry you would have ended badly. Instead of loving you I would have resented you. I would have felt like a broodmare and a whore, taken solely for the purpose of being bred. And where you might have seen each round of mating as love making, I would have seen it as a violation. Odin and Frigga know me that well. So they tried to raise me simply as their other son, equally with you. They failed miserably. I always felt Odin's slight favoritism towards you. It twisted me inside, knowing you would always be chosen even though they tried to make me feel like I was being given equal consideration. I have hated them for so long for it. It is only now that I see, that they did the best they could. Mistakes were made, yes. But I find my grievance with them now lacks standing."
"I wish father had carried on with his original plan for you. I wouldn't have touched you Loki if you felt violated."
"Oh really? Who's lying now?" Loki asks. "We were always destined to hate each other I think. I was born the son of your enemy. Whether I was raised on Jotunnheim or in Asgard, we were always destined to end up here, at each other's throats."
"Okay! Break time!" Tony interrupts. "You two need to discuss the baby. Loki you're the mother so you need to lay out some ground rules for Thor."
"If you want to hold Valeria…you can. But, you have to be sitting on the couch and you can't be wearing anything hard or sharp like your armor. I will be sitting next to you the entire time."
"Anything else?" Thor asks.
"I don't know. I haven't thought that far ahead yet."