Twilight and all characters belong to Stephanie Meyer.
So guys... what was it that touched Edward last chapter? You get to find out now! Yay! OKay.... go ahead and read :)
BPOV
Monster Mash sundae. That's what I was eating Friday, at 4:16 p.m., in my kitchen. It was the first time in a long time I could actually say I was feeling complete, like every part of me was where it should be, especially my heart.
It wasn't because Edward had come back, although, I really wished for that to happen, it was because I was eating a sundae. Not just any sundae, but Renee's favorite which also happened to be my favorite ice cream sundae too. I knew it was silly, but for five minutes, while slowly savoring the taste of the mint ice cream and hot fudge fusing to create an explosion of flavor, I could forget the rest of the world and just enjoy me and my sundae.
I wasn't sure how the sundae had gotten into the freezer though. Charlie refused to tell me who had dropped it off. Probably just Alice and Rosalie. It was times like this that reminded me just how amazing my real friends were, no one fake like Jessica "Implants" Stanley.
EPOV
A maple leaf. I uncovered my hands from my face to find a maple leaf that had neatly landed in my lap. And I just started crying once more, for the millionth time that day.
Carlisle's favorite food had been waffles. It was our thing, our tradition, to make them every Sunday morning and sometimes surprise Esme in bed with breakfast. My dad had said once never to bother making waffles if there wasn't any maple syrup involved. Esme would always give a disapproving face when she saw how much syrup Carlisle would pour on his waffles, because he drowned them in sweet, syrupy goodness. Nevertheless, he would keep doing it and Esme would eventually break out into laughter because the massive amount of syrup Carlisle used was borderline ridiculous.
That's what this maple leaf reminded me of, Carlisle at his best, being the world's number one dad, even if just for a couple hours. When we made waffles, I would forget his substance abuse problems, we would laugh so much at pointless things and really just enjoy the moment.
You could argue it was just the wind, just a coincidence, but I knew better. It was Carlisle. This was his way of granting me closure, telling me to move on and be happy. Because I was happiest when we made waffles, and when I was with Bella. I knew what Carlisle thought I should do. And for once in my life, I actually agreed with him. He had always been a sensible person, sans the coke, and I had been hot-headed and stubborn. We banged heads regularly, but in this moment, it felt like we were in complete unison.
With Carlisle's blessing, there was only one thing left to do, I needed to talk to Esme.
BPOV
The sundae finished too soon. The only things left were trace amounts of melted ice cream on the sides of the paper cup. Now, back to reality. And the pain cascaded down upon me. How could one person do so much damage? I had always wondered what it felt like to get hit by an anvil, like on those cartoons, and that pain, I imagined, would be a lot like what I was experiencing now. The pain of rejection, of denied love.
Why did Edward have to be so stupid? Why couldn't he just accept the fact that he was exactly the person I needed? He always used to say he didn't deserve me, but what he didn't realize, was that it was the other way around. Because despite his little flukes in the past, Edward was basically the perfect guy. When he held me, touched me, or kissed me, it wasn't because of his hormones, it was because he loved me. Or had loved me…
What he said when he left, it wasn't true, right?
EPOV
I drove home actually going the speed limit. I was in no hurry to have a heart-to-heart with Esme. Although I knew it was necessary, I knew I'd be hurting her some too. Because I decided I was going to own up to my drug abuse and everything Bella had done for me, including making me clean.
So when I got home, I was expecting a couple of hours to get my bearings, but Esme was already home. Greattt….
I slowly made my way up the steps and opened the front door. And I realized it was still school hours so Esme would surely be a little suspicious.
"Edward? Home so soon?"
"Hey, mom. Yeah, I left early…"
"Where's your bag?"
I decided I wouldn't lie. Okay, complete truth, here goes…
"I left it in class. I, I visited Carlisle."
And I looked up to gauge Esme's reaction because Carlisle was somewhat taboo in our house. Neither of us really liked talking about him but that would be necessary now. But Esme didn't seem shocked, she looked almost smug, as if she were expecting this? Or better yet, happy? This, in turn, shocked me because she knew I had never visited Carlisle since the funeral. This was big news. I expected more of a reaction.
"You're not surprised? Angry?"
"Edward, how could I be angry? You finally visit your father after all these years. I honestly couldn't be happier."
"But, but he left us… he hurt you…"
"Nobody's perfect, Edward. He made some bad choices but that didn't make me stop loving him. He's still your father, Edward."
"So you wouldn't be mad if I made some… bad choices too?"
"What do you mean?"
Deep breath. Shit, I knew this was going to break her. Fuck, I didn't want to do it…
"So I kinda… did-pot-for-a-while," I said in one whooshing breath.
Esme didn't look angry or disappointed, she just looked sad. Worst fucking reaction ever. I wish she would just yell at me or something, but no, she had to start crying. Way to go, fuckface.
I'm a real fucker. I hurt everyone, and anyone, I have ever cared about. But I had to show Esme that wasn't me anymore, show her I didn't do that shit anymore.
"Mom, before you say anything, I've changed. I don't smoke anymore, I swear. Ever since I met Bella, I kinda stopped. She helped me get over that stuff…"
Awkward silence. I stood uncomfortably shifting my weight between my legs, rocking back and forth, not daring to stare anywhere but at my own feet while Esme remained silent on the couch. I desperately wanted to look up and hope to see the pain gone from her face but I was a coward, I would wait until she made me look up.
Finally, what felt like five minutes later, Esme said:
"It pains me, Edward, to know you ever relied on the same stuff that took your father away from me," and I wanted so badly just to interject here and say that pot was totally different from coke, but I knew Esme was trying to make a point,
"But I'm glad to hear you're no longer abusing and even happier to hear why. Bella's a good girl, she deserves the best."
"I know… that's why we broke up…she deserves better" and I couldn't help my voice from getting a little choked at the end because I was getting emotional.
"No," Esme replied kinda peeved, "You are just the person to give it to her."
I was, to say the least, at a loss for words. Hadn't I just confessed to Esme I was using illegal substances, or had been, and she thought I could be what Bella deserved? Wow, my family was really fucked up. But I loved it. Because although part of me still didn't want my shitty ass near Bella, another part of me wanted to jump up and down with delight that Esme had this much faith in me. And I knew I just couldn't fuck things up this time.
I wouldn't.
"Edward, I know something's wrong. You've looked shitty for months now, and I know you love her. Now go show her that."
I was feeling a million different emotions in that moment. But one particularly stood out from the rest, hopeful. I was once again hopeful about my life, my future, which I hoped would include Bella. Because that was the only future I had ever considered worth living.
So I ran up to Esme and enveloped her in a big, bear hug that could only be matched by one of Emmett's and rushed out of the house, leaving Esme flustered but smiling.
Ice cream. I decided it would be the best first step. But just ice cream wouldn't do it. I had more than royally fucked up and I remembered the words clearly in my head, monster mash. It was Renee's favorite, but most importantly, Bella's favorite sundae. Monster Mash sundae from Friendly's, if only it could deliver its promised "happy ending."
I hadn't really formulated a plan for after having bought the sundae so I decided to run it over to Bella's house. It was still school hours, so she wouldn't be there, but at least I could drop it off. I knew where she kept the spare key and I could just slip it into the freezer without any detection.
The cruiser.
Charlie's cruiser was in the fucking driveway. There was no way I was going to get past that shit. But I wasn't about to let this sundae go to waste, so I dragged myself out of the car and somehow managed to force myself to ring the doorbell.
Insert big gulp here. I was fucking nervous. And by the time the door creaked open, I had already broken a slight sweat.
When Charlie saw who it was, his face immediately turned completely cold and hard, void of any kindness, he said:
"What do you want, Edward?"
And he just fucking spit my name out, as if it were a vulgar term, unwanted.
To keep my words as concise as possible, I shoved the sundae into Charlie's hands and quickly said,
"For Bella?"
And it came out as a fucking question because I couldn't muster up the balls to be assertive and prove to everyone, especially Charlie, how much I fucking loved his daughter.
"Fine," was his only response as he swiftly retracted his hands from the doorway and shut the door.
So fucking rude, but I guess I deserved that.
Sorry guys for the short chapter but things are really tight for me right now and I really want to get stuff out. but no one can complain because things are at least kinda on the mend for Edward and Bella. At least he's realized how stupid he was and is trying to make it up to Bella... right?
Reviews are awesome. Possibly as awesome as Monster Mash sundaes... but that's debatable! :)