"Did you pack a coat?" Loki asks Thor.

"Yes, but I didn't see one for you or Valeria." Thor says. Loki raises an eyebrow at Thor and he blushes at his own stupidity.

"Oh, right." They are heading to Tony's private winter lodge up in the Catskills mountains for a long weekend snowy retreat. The property is remote and secluded. They won't have to worry about nosy neighbors or curious onlookers. Loki and Valeria can be themselves and frolic in the snow. Aside from packing warm clothing and other winter accessories Thor has also packed a bag full of intimate items for he and Loki to share. Every day he feels he is a little closer to that dream life he imagined all those years. It is a double edged sword inside his heart. The more he and Loki mend the bond the worse the guilt becomes. It is a feeling he does not want to feel.

He feels manic, letting his guard down little by little. Letting Loki back in little by little. In the back of his mind he keeps waiting for Loki to pull a stunt and stab him in the ribs again. It is that instinct he hates the most. He wishes it would go away.

"I think that is everything." Loki says. He takes Valeria by the hand as he slings a heavy bag over his shoulder. Thor picks up the other two bags and they all pile into the elevator and head down to the garage. In their spare time here on earth, Thor and Loki both have mastered the art of driving, if only out of necessity. The beginning of the journey is always a nightmare as they make the slow escape out of the city before finally hitting open road.

"Daddy look at the birds!" Valeria points at the flock of geese landing in the water.

"In the spring I will take you to the park and introduce you to the red tailed hawks there. You'll love them." Loki says. Thor turns on the radio and searches for some decent music. Unfortunately half of the stations are playing cheesy Christmas music.

"Allow me." Loki says. He pulls out his cellphone and snaps it into the docking bay on the dashboard. His playlist pops up immediately. "Siri, play Florence and the Machine." The cellphone responds and The Dog Days Are Over blares out over the speakers.

They drive for a long time, listening to the music. Loki reaches for Thor's right hand and holds it. Thor smiles at him. Valeria eventually dozes off in the back out of boredom. Loki looks back to confirm she is not listening and asks Thor something important.

"Thor?"

"Yes Loki."

"Tonight, when Valeria goes to bed I…I was thinking about what you and I might do together."

"I thought about that too. I brought some things I thought we might want."

"She's so comfortable being in her Jotunn skin. I have never felt comfortable in that form."

"What is it you are asking me Loki?"

"I was thinking maybe a massage in my Jotunn form? If you…if you found that enjoyable?" Loki's insecurity echoes in his voice.

"There's nothing wrong with your natural form Loki." Thor says gently.

"But do you find it attractive?"

"Of course I do. It is very exotic." Thor gives Loki's hand a squeeze. Loki smiles but he cannot shake the feeling that Thor is lying to him to spare his feelings. He cannot complain about that though. It is far better than Thor outright insulting him like in their adolescent days. Had they known then that Loki was Jotunn, he is sure it would have been a source of mockery and insult for him and his friends.

They reach the lodge and Valeria perks right up from her little nap and squeals in delight as a snowflake falls down upon her outstretched tongue. She turns blue and plops down onto the ground to make snow angels.

"Mommy it's blue time! Come play with me!" Her little grin is perhaps the one thing that is so Loki about Valeria. Loki chuckles and joins her on the snow and the pair play as Thor unloads the car. The large faux wood cabin is not rustic in the least. It is a mansion with all modern amenities and even some extras that makes this a luxurious get away. In the basement there is a sauna and a steaming whirlpool next to a small cold pool. Off to the side is a steam shower and a massage room. The entire spa area is decorated beautifully in mosaic tiles. Tony has good taste.

Loki and Valeria use their ice magic to make an ice fort complete with miniature catapult and plenty of snowball ammunition. Thor hasn't got a prayer of survival.

"Now that is just not fair!" Thor says as he admires their little structure. "I demand the assistance of the lovely fair princess in this epic battle."

"I suppose you are at a bit of a disadvantage. Very well. I'll give you ten minutes to prepare yourself." Loki says.

"Only ten minutes?"

"Tick tock, tick tock." Loki grins. Thor takes Valeria by the hand and runs across the yard and they build his fort very quickly. Thor makes snowballs as Valeria builds up a wall for them. She then makes a catapult sculpture also, though it is not as pretty and elegant looking as the one Mommy made. Thor is working on his fifth snowball when Valeria turns her attention to his little pile.

"That's all you made?" She asks, clearly disappointed in him.

"I cannot make snowballs like you can." Thor says.

"That's because you're doing it wrong Daddy!" A little scowl forms on her face and she manufactures snowballs out of thin air with her hands with lightning speed. Thor cannot suppress a chuckle at the look of annoyance his daughter is giving him.

"I love you so very much." He says.

"I love you too Daddy." Their quiet little moment is interrupted by a snowball whizzing by Thor's head, just missing it by the fraction of an inch.

"The battle has begun, ready the cannon." Thor says. His eyes glow with the excitement of battle. In a matter of seconds snowballs are flying across the air in both directions. Holes in ice walls appear and disappear as quickly as Loki and Valeria can get to them. Thor feels the painful sting of cold over and over again as Loki's aim is steady and true.

One snowball, however, hits Valeria squarely in the face and her little body goes flying backwards, sending her little legs flying up into the air in such a comical fashion that Thor bursts out laughing at the sight. Valeria gets up, purple with anger and tears in her eyes scowling at her father for daring to laugh.

"Daddy!" She screeches at him. Thor grabs her and pulls her in tight for a hug, but he's still chuckling and she slaps at his shoulders. He's laughing at her misfortune and she's pissed. Loki is laughing too. He shouldn't, but he can't help it. It was such a perfect shot.

XxXxXxXx

"Is she asleep?" Thor asks.

"Yes, after three bedtime stories and a sleeping spell." Loki says.

"A sleeping spell?"

"She was determined to stay awake. Just when I thought it was safe to get up and leave, my jostling the bed woke her again. I had to do it." Loki says. Thor smiles. A silence follows. They haven't touched each other intimately since that first experiment three months ago. Their mutual nervousness builds up the tension.

"The spa in the basement here is very beautiful. I think we would enjoy it." Thor says.

"That is what you were telling me earlier. I think we should make good use of it." Loki and Thor head down the stairs into the separate spa section. The mosaic tiles are a sandy tan color with maroon and emerald swirling designs here and there. It is very lovely. Thor has their bag-o-fun and sets in on a bench. They disrobe in front of one another, each watching the other openly as they expose their own skin.

"The massage table is elevated. I wouldn't have to straddle you and crowd you to reach all of you. Do you want to try laying on your stomach again?" Thor asks.

"Eventually, but I don't want that to be the first thing we do. I want to build to that." Loki says. "I was thinking we could sit in the whirlpool and talk for a while."

"I'd like that." The water is nice and warm, a great relief to Thor who has been frozen half solid for the past few hours. He sighs as the comforting relaxing sensation floods over his body. Loki sits directly across from him. The pool is small and their knees almost touch.

"Valeria was furious with you today." Loki says. Thor chuckles again.

"The way her legs just flew up over her head like that. I could not resist." Thor says. "She is so like you. It is subtle. She may look like me on the surface, but her smile and personality is definitely yours."

"Until she turns blue and then there is no denying her." Loki says.

"There's no denying yourself either." Thor says, his tone turning serious.

"I wish I could." Loki says.

"One day, I would like to make love to you in your Jotunn form. When you are ready."

"My heart still races when I'm naked in front of you like this. I feel fear that I don't want to feel."

"Is it because you're afraid I'll reject you for being Jotunn? Or are you still afraid I'll physically harm you?"

"I'm not sure anymore." Loki says.

"What can I do to calm you?"

"I don't know. Hold me I suppose. Let my body relearn to relax into your touch."

"I need that as well." Thor says.

"I won't hurt you again Thor. I swear it."

"Come here." Thor outstretches his arms to Loki, who leans forward to kneel between Thor's legs. Loki rests his head on Thor's breast plate, feeling Thor's semi-soft shaft rubbing against his chest in the water. Thor runs his fingers through Loki's hair which is wet with a mixture of water and sweat. Loki's hands run up Thor's thighs and then his rib cage. He spots the scar there. The one shaped like a dagger slit. It is a thick ugly scar, no doubt made so from constantly being reopened. He runs the pad of his thumb atop it and looks into Thor's eyes. He doesn't speak but Thor can see the regret and apology there. Loki leans forward and kisses the scar.

Thor shudders and gasps. He'd been holding his breath and not realized it. His head rolls back and he looks up at the ceiling. His eyes are shiny with tears that are forming, and they've only just started. Loki tongues at the thick skin as his fingers roam Thor's torso.

"We need to stop." Thor's voice breaks. His erection is fully hard and his body is screaming to invade the soft pliant body before him. Loki pulls away and sits back across from Thor. The golden man takes several deep breaths.

"I'm sorry." Loki says reflexively.

"It wasn't that. I was a little too aroused. I don't want to frighten you." Thor says. Loki nods in understanding.

"Thor? I would like to touch you, there. Would you like me to stroke you?"

"Only if it is something you want."

"I do. I want it very much." Loki moves forward and kneels in the water again. This time his fingers go below the water line and seek out Thor's member. Their eye contact is sweet but intense. Their mutual anxiety leads them to do something they have never done before. They kiss.

Thor moans into the kiss. The water makes sloshing sounds as Loki moves his hand rhythmically.

"Loki…" Thor's whole body tenses with the desire to scoop Loki up into his arms and ravish him with tenderness. Loki's lips are soft velvety pillows and his tongue the coolness of his favorite peppermint candy. Thor gasps as his muscles contract with his coming release. He keens and whimpers. Loki pants as his arm moves faster and faster.

"Tell me I'm the only one you'll ever want." Loki says.

"You're the only one I've ever wanted. Uh…Loki…I want…" Thor leans in and kisses Loki again, moaning into his mouth as his seed clouds the water between them. They pant as they recover from their activity, sharing the same air and space.

"I want to pleasure you Loki. I want to make love to you. I'd give anything to hold you and fill you and join our bodies as one."

"I want that too Thor, eventually. There is something else I also want as well." Loki says looking fearful that he will be refused.

"What is it?"

"I want to fill you also." Loki says. Thor looks dumbstruck for a moment as he digests the request. Of course Loki would desire penetrative sex. He is a man after all. Thor imagines what it would be like to feel Loki's silky length striking his insides. His face flushes red and his pupils blow wide. Loki becomes uncomfortable as the seconds tick by, thinking Thor is going to refuse him.

"Yes." Thor rises from the whirlpool.

"Now?" Loki asks surprised.

"Yes."

"Are you sure? I mean, are you ready for that? You aren't afraid?"

"You're the only one I want inside me." Thor's jaw is set and his eyes resolute. Loki rises from the pool as well. Their eyes scan the room, looking for a comfortable place. They spy a soft plush lounger couch. It is perfect. Thor pulls out the bottle of lavender oil he brought with him and hands it to Loki.

"How do you want to do this? Do you want to be on your back or your stomach or some other way?"

"I want to see your eyes." Thor says. His fingers brush a lock of black hair back behind Loki's ear. He reaches into the bag and grabs the little clit rocket as well, surprising Loki again.

"You like this?" Loki asks. Thor nods, a little embarrassed by the request. "Lie down darling."

Thor lies down on the lounge. The back is at a 45 degree angle, which will make kissing Loki easier. Thor spreads his massive legs so Loki can kneel between them. He knows deep down that he could not present his body in such a vulnerable position to anyone else. Loki squirts a generous amount of oil into his hands and rubs down Thor's thighs, cock, and stomach. Thor's legs have hair on them, but it is short, blond, and baby fine. Almost non-existent really. Loki notices that the hair around Thor's cock is groomed now. It hadn't been before.

Loki lubes up the little vibrator and turns it on. Thor shudders again and a little smile curls his lips when he feels the little wand placed at his entrance. It doesn't take long for the pulsing to relax the rim of muscles there.

"Loki? Would you like to turn blue? You could be in your Jotunn form when you take me?"

"One new thing at a time Thor." Loki says. His hands are shaking. Thousands of years of fantasy and pent up desire are about to be realized. The toy breaches Thor and Loki uses it to work his opening and build Thor's desire. Loki's own cock is standing at attention and leaking. Pale and smooth like the rest of him, it looks firm but pliant. It is beautiful, just like the rest of Loki.

"I'm ready Loki." Loki withdraws the toy, turning it off and tossing it to the side. Loki moves slowly, lying on top of Thor. His breath is jagged as Thor wraps his legs around Loki's hips. For a moment, Loki feels that old fear pop up, but he ignores it. He's in the position of power this time. He grabs his cock and guides it Thor's entrance and pushes in. They cry out together and kiss, hot and intense.

"Are you alright? I'm not hurting you?" Loki asks. Thor shakes his head and arches his ass up, entreating Loki to fuck him. Loki moves. Thor is so hot and so tight. His sweet tight passage grips him so perfectly. Loki does not know if he will last long and he wants this moment to last as long as possible. He gyrates his hips slowly, drawing out a maddening frisson across Thor's nerve endings.

"Oh Loki…you feel so wonderful." They kiss some more, mostly lips.

"Thor…do you love me?"

"Yes love. Fill me up dove. Show me all that you've longed for." Thor's gentle voice encourages his lover to unleash his passion. Loki does. His movements speed up with desire and confidence. Their moans echo off the hard tile walls. Loki feels his orgasm build up, which Thor sees written in his face and erratic maneuvers.

"Spill your seed inside me Loki. You can put the toy back inside me after to keep it there."

"AHHH!" Loki screams as the obscene image sends him over the edge. Loki grabs Thor's dick and strokes it, causing the thunder god to spill over his fingers moments later.

"I love you." Loki says and he allows his full body weight to collapse on top of Thor. They become sleepy in their blissful haze. For the first time in a long time, Thor feels trust creep back in.