(I am sorry to say but I am skipping 'Puppy Love' and 'Toast of T.U.F.F'. Because 1. At the rate I'm going having 'Puppy Love' won't be acceptable. and 2. I couldn't find or acquire there transcripts. But if someone can send me them to me, I will put them in eventually. I do not own Tuff Puppy. Also I have a poll going on for my Pokémon fan fiction. So if you want too, check kit out and vote. Alright on with the show.)
(The chapter/episode starts at T.U.F.F. headquarters. During daytime. The Chief is in the conference room, surrounded by all the Agents, for a important meeting.)
"Attention T.U.F.F. agents! We're expecting a transmission from our new field operative-." The Chief started to say but was interrupted by a snoring sound.
(He looks over towards the noise, and see's Dudley, sleeping hanging upside down from the celling, with his mask on.)
"Agent Puppy, WAKE UP!" The Chief yelled via his monitor. This startled Dudley and he woke up, but not without falling from his position and landing on a bed of pillows below.
"Wh-What happened? What's going on? Are we under attack again?" Dudley asked, sounding sleepy.
"No. But why were you sleeping from the celling?" Keswick asked.
"I was here and up late last night, doing my usually thing, and dumping some chemicals down the toilet." He answered while pointing towards the water fountain.
"That's the water fountain!" The Chief said, while pointing to the water fountain.
"Ohhh, someone should hang a sign. In the meantime, NOBODY DRINK FROM THE WATER FOUNTAIN, UNLESS YOU WANT A SECOND HEAD!" Dudley yelled, while walking away.
(Kitty, who happened to be drinking from the fountain, spits the water out in horror and wipes it off her tongue.)
"Chief, the transmission from our new operative Agent Rodentski is c-c-c-c-coming through." Keswick informed, while holding a ball, which opens and projects a hologram of Agent Rodentski.
"Eeek! A mouse!" Agent Jumbo, who happened to be a elephant, yelled in horror and stomps on the hologram of a mouse. It is unaffected, but she crush's the Chief in the process.
"Red alert T.U.F.F. agents! D.O.O.M. is about to launch a missile strike against TUFF headquarters!" Agent Rodentski said, via the hologram.
"All right everyone, assume Defensive Maneuver 17!" The Chief said.
"What's that?" Ghost Dog questioned.
"Launch a counterstrike and r-r-r-run scream into the bathroom." Keswick answered, while typing quickly. He then presses a button, missile a countdown starts and a red alert alarm sounds off.)
(Everyone runs screaming into bathroom, except for Dudley who runs in the opposite direction.)
"Ghost Dog, that's the water fountain!" Kitty stated, in a disembodied voice.
"I told you to hang a sign!" Ghost Dog shot back, while running towards them.
(The missiles launched from T.U.F.F. HQ. We quick cut to Snaptrap playing a Scrabble-like game in his lair with the rest of his posse.)
"That's schmoodled, for 370 points!" Snaptrap said proudly, while placing a tile down.
"That's not a word! Use it in a sentence." Larry challenged. Only to have Snaptrap blasts him.
"There. I schmoodled Larry." Snaptrap said, smugly.
(They receive a transmission from there new agent. A weasel named Agent Weaselman.)
"Hey look, it's our new field operative Agent Weaselman. Sorry you're not here at our ice cream social. We're having pistachio with rainbow sprinkles." Snaptrap said, while putting sprinkles on his ice cream.
"Actually I'm glad I'm not there. T.U.F.F. has launched a missile strike against you. You're about to be schmoodled!" Weaselman told them, via the hologram and in a German accent.
""Aaaaahhhh!" Snaptrap yelled in worry. "Launch a counterstrike while I finish Larry's ice cream!" He ordered, while taking Larry's ice cream. Ollie then hit a launch missiles button.
(The screen shows as T.U.F.F. and D.O.O.M.'s missiles fly by each other in the air, then fall and destroy their opponents' HQs.)
"Boy, we really got schmoodled." Ghost Dog stated, while popping up from the ruins of T.U.F.F.
The Chief: "We'll need a temporary HQ while T.U.F.F. is being rebuilt. I know the perfect spot!" The Chief stated, while jumping on Ghost Dog's head.
(We cut to kids playing at Pete-Za Possum Party Palace. The T.U.F.F. agents are shown eating pizza.)
"I told you this was perfect. Someone pass me a slice of pepperoni." Chief said, then a kid drops a pizza slice on The Chief. "Thank you Tommy. Oh, and happy birthday." He said, while thanking the kid
(Dudley, Keswick and Kitty then emerge from the ball pit.)
"Bad news Chief. We all got pink eye from the b-ball pit, except for Agent Ghost Dog, who was protected by his mask and sun g-gla-glasses.." Keswick informed, sounding a little miffed.
"Your just jealous that I have a cool mask and sunglasses." Ghost Dog stated smugly and cockily, while adjusting his sunglasses.
"No, we think it's strange you were it almost all the time." Kitty told him.
"If I didn't were this a lot then the bad guys would find about my identity and you would get distracted because of how handsome you think I am." He replied with a smirk, which only grew in a hugh unreadable grin when he had seen her blush. Keswick decided to intervene, so that way Kitty could be spared for now.
"Also, we're getting another emergency tra-tra-transmission from Agent Rodentski." Keswick informed the Chief.
(Rodentski then appears on a TV monitor. But Agent Jumbo reacts in horror, jumps backwards and crush's the Chief again.)
"Red alert, D.O.O.M. is launching another missile strike!" Agent Rodentski informed them.
"Tommy, blow out the candles and initiate counterstrike!" Chief requested, while getting out from under the slice of pizza. Then a kid blows out the candles, lifts the cake and presses the button. Then missiles are launched from roof.
(We cut to D.O.O.M as there in Mrs. Yip's Salon.)
"This is the perfect place for our new headquarters. We can discuss our top secret evil plans, and get a mani-pedi! I love the polish I picked!" Snaptrap said, while looking at his new nail polish.
"Attention D.O.O.M.! T.U.F.F. has launched another missile strike!" Agent Weasleman informed via the TV.
Snaptrap: "We need a counterstrike! Mrs. Yip, shave my toes and fire the missiles!" Snaptrap ordered. Mrs. Yip then takes out chainsaw and presses a button that was hidden in a bust.
(The missiles are launched from a hair-dryer on the salon's roof. The T.U.F.F and D.O.O.M missiles fly by each other once again, only to destroy the other's new HQ. The explosion is followed by a cut to D.O.O.M in there new library HQ.)
"I love our new library lair! There's free wi-fi and I found this great book on how to grow your own herb garden." Snaptrap stated, while holding up a herb book.
"Shhhh!" The librarian shushed them and then leaves.
"Sorry Mrs. Handleman!" Snaptrap apologized, and then leaned over to Larry in order to whisper. "Larry, go put a cobra in her car." Larry then goes off with a cobra.
(D.O.O.M then receives a transmission via there laptop.)
"Attention D.O.O.M., T.U.F.F. is planning another attack. Which means we should strike first!" Agent Weaselman exclaimed.
"Honestly Weaselman, do you ever call with good news?" Snaptrap questioned. "Fire the missiles!" He ordered.
(D.O.O.M missiles are launched from the library and destroy T.U.F.F. headquarters off-screen. But in reply T.U.F.F. launches missiles to destroy there library, causing D.O.O.M. to launch even more missiles to which T.U.F.F. replies with another missile launch.)
(D.O.O.M. missiles destroy the T.U.F.F coffee shop. T.U.F.F missiles destroy the D.O.O.M tree house. Then D.O.O.M. missiles destroy the T.U.F.F phone booth, only for the T.U.F.F. missiles destroy the D.O.O.M portable toilet.)
(We translate to the T.U.F.F agency in what seems to be a dump. All the T.U.F.F agents are injured, but Dudley, Kitty, Keswick and The Chief are huddled around a barrel fire.)
"This is crazy! We can't conduct top secret business in the dump!" The Chief stated, while jumping up angrily.
"It's not the dump, it's city hall. We accidentally bleubleh-blew it up." Keswick replied with a slight chuckle.
(Then a bunny dressed as a realtor emerges from a trash heap.)
"Hi, I'm Bunny with Petropolis Realty and I just happen to be trawling the dump for clients. You folks look like you could use a new office." Bunny said, while walking towards them and holding a realtor sign.
"Nah we're good. We've got a camp fire and have been through worse. Well at least I have!" Ghost Dog, attempting to light a cigar.
"Cigar's are bad for you!" Kitty said, while grabbing it and throwing it away.
"Goody two shoes." Ghost Dog said, in a sing song voice. Kitty in a fit of annoyance bumps his head with her fist. An angry Ghost Dog then starts a slap fight with her
(Everyone sits there, watching them fight.)
"We'll take that office ASAP." The Chief said, only to receive a grin from Bunny.
(We then cut to a new office building.)
"This is the only building in town that hasn't been blown up. Oh, and just so you know it's already half-rented so you'll have to share!" Bunny informed them, as she opened the door. Then the T.U.F.F Agents enter the office, but gasp as they spot D.O.O.M.
"D.O.O.M.?!" The Chief asked, confused.
"T.U.F.F.?!" The D.O.O.M Agents, Snaptrap, Ollie, Larry, Francisco, Leather Teddy and Bad Dog all asked, confused as well.
(Bunny then legs it, while D.O.O.M and T.U.F.F confront each other with blasters.)
"You T.U.F.F. agents destroyed every one of our evil lairs... and ruined a perfectly good mani-pedi. It's payback time!" Snaptrap stated, while looking at his nails and then at T.U.F.F.
"You started this fight and now we're gonna finish it!" The Chief stated boldly.
"Nooo, you started it and we're gonna finish it!" Snaptrap fired back.
"Wait, if we attack each other now we're going to destroy our own headquarters." Kitty stated, trying to reason with all of them.
"Yeah Kitty's right. If were going to finish this, we need to do it outside. Vamanos." Ghost Dog stated, while walking out the door, with fellow T.U.F.F and D.O.O.M Agent's right behind. That was, until Chief had spoken up.
"Kitty's right and Ghost Dog's wrong. We're gonna have to call a truce and share the office." The Chief said, while lowering his blaster.
"D.O.O.M... and T.U.F.F., sharing an office? How will that work?" Snaptrap asked.
( The we cut to a Parody of the Brady Bunch opening sequence, complete with vocals from and images of T.U.F.F. and D.O.O.M. )
T.U.F.F side. (The Chief looks awkwardly at Kitty, Dudley and Keswick.)
Here's the story, of a Chief named Chief.
Who was leader of an agency named T.U.F.F.
They were all really good guys, who worked together... until their lives got rough.
D.O.O.M side. (Snaptrap is shown humiliating Larry.)
Here's the story, of a rat named Snaptrap.
Who was leader of an evil place called D.O.O.M.
Things were going well until they lost their hideout... and had to rent a room.
ALL (Everyone looks at each other, suspiciously)
And then one day the good guys met the bad guys..
And they knew that it was much more than a fad..
That this group, could learn to live together... and still stay good and bad.
We're T.U.F.F. and D.O.O.M.
We're T.U.F.F. and D.O.O.M.
And only one of us will leave this room!
( End of the song )
"Okay that makes sense, this is gonna work out great!" Snaptrap stated excitedly.
(We cut to musical montage of T.U.F.F. and D.O.O.M. working at opposing sides of the room, still suspicious of each other, while Ghost Dog painted a line on the floor, walls, and celling in order to make the room equal.)
(Dudley launches a rubberband at Snaptrap, successfully hitting him in the eye. With a smug look on his mask, he then does a secret handshake with Kitty.)
(Keswick takes off his goggles while taking a break from welding an Iron Giant-like robot. But there are black circles around his eyes, drawn on by Larry who is shown laughing at him.)
(Larry is shown typing, suspicious of a prank. He then takes a sip from his mug but is snared by a mousetrap.. and falls into more mousetraps. Ghost Dog, The Chief, Kitty and Keswick are shown laughing.)
(Ollie paints "Bathroom" onto a door that leads to a vertical drop outside. Ghost Dog walks in, apparently uses the non-existent bathroom and walks out. Puzzled Ollie walks through the door, only to fall.)
(Kitty purchases a snack from the break room's vending machine, which happens to be a stick of dynamite. Luckily Ghost Dog grabs it and throws it around the corner. ;ka-boom; Ollie, Francisco and Bad Dog are shown, badly burnt and a little bit on fire.)
(We cut to the end of the montage. Only to cut to Snaptrap at his desk, but then phone rings and he picks it up.)
"Hello?" Snaptrap asked.
"Yes, is Anita Bath there?" Ghost Dog asked, via the phone and doing a pretty good impersonation.
"Anita Bath?" Snaptrap questioned.
"YOU SURE DO! HA!" Ghost Dog yelled and hanged up. Then we cut away to Kitty, Dudley, The Chief and Keswick as they laugh.
"Okay, that tears it!" Snaptrap said, as he rolls sleeves and pulls out blaster. "This means war!"
(T.U.F.F. and D.O.O.M. confront each other once again. They try to fire their blasters but nothing happens. Well except Ghost Dog fires a shot and it hits Larry, sending him flying in a wall. With nobody really paying attention)
"Darn it, we're out of ammo." Snaptrap said.
"Us too." The Chief replied.
(Bunny then enters through the door.)
Bunny: "Hi gang! It's me, Bunny. I just stopped by with a moving present. It's a gift basket filled with assorted tees, fancy caches and seven hundred rounds of ammo!" She stated while handing over ammunition to T.U.F.F and D.O.O.M. "Enjoy! Now go back to annihilating each other!" She told them.
"Wait a minute.. why is our real estate agent giving us ammunition?" Kitty asked.
"And isn't it a little coincidental that she rented us both the same office?" Ghost Dog asked, then whispered to Snaptrap. "I bet you 50$ she's evil." He whispered. Snaptrap replied with a 'your on'.
(Bunny tries to escape, but only for to Kitty block the door.)
"Something tells me that she's not really a real real estate agent at all!" Kitty stated suspiciously.
"For real?" Ghost Dog questioned.
Bunny is shown, nervously clinging to ceiling. "I don't know what you're talking about." She said. Then the Chameleon's voice slips out.. "Oooh, silver fish!" She then shoots his tongue and eats it.
"Wait a minute! I'd recognize that tongue anywhere!" Ghost Dog said, while holding his hand out towards Snaptrap, and receiving the 50$'s from there bet.
"It's The Chameleon!" Everyone shouted.
The Chameleon is shown transforming back into himself. "Yes. Hehehehe-hehe-uhehe! It is I, the Chameleon! I only disguised myself as Bunny, your real estate just like I disguised myself as your new field agents Weaselman and Rodentski!" He said proudly.
"Eeek!" Agent Jumbo said out loud.
"What? Why would you do that?" Kitty questioned.
"So I could lie to you about the missile strikes and get you to destroy each other! You see, I wanted revenge on T.U.F.F. for putting me in jail!" The Chameleon stated.
"But why would you want revenge on D.O.O.M.? We're bad guys like you." Snaptrap asked and said.
"Bad guys who never invite me to your ice cream socials!" The Chameleon said, while having a flashback "Sometimes, I stand alone in the rain and I can hear you enjoying your ice cream, sharing personal stories.. and rainbow sprinkles." We then end the flashback "But since you wouldn't annihilate each other, I will have to do the job myself!" He said, while pulling out a rocket launcher. "Oooh, ladybug!" he then eats a ladybug.
"Okay, hold the phone. I'd buy you were Bunny the Realtor and Agent Weaselman, but there's no way you were Agent Rodentski." Ghost Dog said in a smug voice.
"Eeek!" Agent Jumbo said, freaked out.
"Ghost Dog, what are you talking about?" Kitty asked.
Ghost Dog is shown, as he pushes Agent Jumbo towards The Chameleon. "I'm just sayin', that was a very realistic field mouse and let's face it, the Chameleon's just not that good." He said, and then runs away.
"I beg to differ! My field mouse won first place at my neighbor Mrs. Ungerman's costume party!" The Chameleon stated.
"Prove it!" Ghost Dog challenged.
"You got it buster." The Chameleon shot back and then transforms into Rodentski. "Told you! Note the mouse-y whiskers, twitching nose and realistic mouse droppings. Don't be alarmed, I use raisins." He said, while eating the raisins with his long tongue.
"Aaaaaah! Aah! Eek! A mouse!" Agent Jumbo said, freaking out and crushing the Chameleon. Who then transforms back into himself. Agent Jumbo runs away, crying.
The Chameleon then said in a dizzy vice. "See, it fooled the elephant." And, with that Kitty handcuffed the Chameleon.
( We then have Another parody of the Brady Bunch theme, this time with The Chameleon behind bars in the middle )
ALL
We're T.U.F.F. and D.O.O.M.
We're T.U.F.F. and D.O.O.M.
And only one of us will leave this room.
"Those weren't raisins! Ha-ha." Larry said, while laughing nervously.
( The song then ends )
"Good job, Agent Ghost Dog!" The Chief said in praise.
"Yeah I like your style. Maybe we can get along!" Snaptrap said, but then his phone rings, and he answers it. "Y-hello!"
"Yes, is I.M. Stinky there?" Ghost Dog asked via the phone and doing another impersonation.
"I.M. Stinky?" Snaptrap asked.
"You sure are!" Ghost Dog yelled, and with that everyone starts to laugh., including the rest of D.O.O.M.
"That tears it! This is WAAAARR!" Snaptrap stated. He and The Chief press buttons, launching missiles which fly up into space, return to the Earth and destroy the building.
(The ending gag consists of T.U.F.F and D.O.O.M striking a pose after being thrown out of their exploding building.)
THE END. FOR NOW.