Chapter 4: Fear
For the rest of the week, Riley was at war with herself. Maybe that was because her life felt very unstable at the moment. She'd look around, and see everyone she knew, surrounded by other people, and then she'd look at herself, all alone and wonder what she was doing wrong. There would be Maya hanging out with her new friends from Art class, and Lucas would be hanging out with the football team, trying to get in good with them. And it wasn't like Riley could blame them, they had their own lives, and she still had to find hers.
But what made her frustrated was when she would eat lunch with Maya, and she noticed that she was distracted with her phone and that they weren't really talking. It was just the small talk Riley always hated.
Suddenly, Riley wasn't hungry anymore, and more or less she was sick to her stomach. Because she wasn't anyone's priority anymore, she was second best.
"Who are you talking to?" Riley asked Maya following a laugh Maya had made at her phone. Riley tried her best to keep a smile on her face.
"Oh, it's just Shauna, she actually just said that her boyfriend tried to eat one of those insanely hot peppers and it landed him in the hospital with severe burns to his tongue. Isn't that hilarious?"
"Oh yah, that's funny," Riley replied, trying to find the forces in herself to laugh. There was a slightly uncomfortable silence that became the two of them.
"Hey, listen, the girls and I are starting a huge group assignment in art class today, we wanted to get a head start and brainstorm ideas before class. Do you mind if…"
"No, go ahead." She didn't want to be that burden.
"Thanks Riles." Maya began packing up her lunch.
"So, I'll see you when I see you," Riley said, causing Maya to look up with sad eyes.
"I'm really sorry we haven't had more time to hang out this year. But we're still going to go to the movie theatre on Saturday right?" Maya asked.
Riley nodded. "Of course."
"Later?"
"Cya."
Riley watched Maya leave her table. She felt stupid for feeling mopey and jealous. Maya finally had everything she ever wanted – a great family life, a great social life – she was happy. Who was Riley to try and take that away from her?
Riley looked down at her cafeteria lunch and used her fork to push it around. This year was really turning out to be a drag. Even Lucas, the one boy who swore he was different was on the other side of the cafeteria laughing with his teammates.
But just as Riley looked up at Lucas, his eyes met hers, and he grinned, waving at her. Riley looked down at her food again, not really wanting to see what Lucas might be doing now. She winced, she didn't mean to burden anyone with her friendship, and she didn't want Lucas to feel like he owed her a fun night just because of what had happened previously.
She packed up her lunch and spent the rest of her lunch walking around the campus.
X
Later that day, Riley saw Lucas at the end of the hallway, emerging from a classroom with a few of the other football players. The moment his eyes caught hers, her smiled and waved, earning looks from a few of the other students in the hallway.
Frowning, she turned on her heels, and began walking down the hallway in the other direction. She hated the looks; she hated that so many people were paying her attention that never looked at her twice before Lucas came. She didn't deserve that, nobody did. Not when the moment Lucas walked away, she would be nothing more than she was before.
"Hey Riley!" Lucas called to her, she winced, but kept walking. "Why are you ignoring me?" Riley sighed, and turned to face Lucas, raising her eye brows. "Didn't you see me waving at you? You looked right at me." He looked hurt, but that wasn't enough to change Riley's mind.
"I wasn't ignoring you," she lied.
"Well then what else would you call that? Did I do something to make you mad? You've been avoiding me all day."
"Look, I didn't mean to ignore you, okay?" Riley snapped. Lucas took a step back, watching Riley closely, when Riley realized she made a mistake. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I should go."
"Riley, wait," Lucas said, pulling gently on Riley's arm. "Are you okay?"
"I-I," she stuttered. "I'm fine, don't worry about me. Don't you have football practice or something?" She couldn't miss the hurt expression on his face, but he didn't give up just yet.
"Riley it's Friday."
"So?"
"So, Friday…" It finally dawned on Riley what Friday meant, and her eyes widened, causing Lucas to smirk.
"I didn't think you still wanted to do that."
"Did I say otherwise?" Lucas asked.
"No…"
"Well I think we've got a lot to talk about, don't you? And a city to explore.
X
Riley looked out the window of Lucas's Honda Civic, leaning against the door, and watching the buildings pass by slowly; slower than usual. The streets were busy, so Lucas was driving in accordance.
From the driver's seat, Lucas took a careful look at Riley, noticing her change in character. She definitely needed a fun night, whether she was willing to admit it or not. And Lucas was going to deliver.
"So any guesses?" he spoke up.
Riley's arm slipped from the door, causing her head to fall slightly, and Lucas to laugh. He had caught her off guard as she drifted into another world all to herself. She looked over at him sheepishly, a light pink blush creeping up her cheeks.
"Guesses?" Riley asked.
"Where do you think I am going to take you on the tour?" Riley's eyes finally brightened, and Lucas could finally see the same girl he saw the first night.
"I still don't think you can pull it off," she said, causing Lucas to erupt in laughter.
"Hey!" he called out in defence. "I think you will be pleasantly surprised."
Lucas observed Riley carefully as she shook her head in amusement.
"Not a chance Cowboy."
"Want to make things interesting?" Riley narrowed her eyes. "If I manage to bring you to two different places you've never been, you owe me dinner."
"What kind of dinner?" she asked sceptically.
"I'll make it easy for you," he replied, "Take out."
"Hmm, a bet? And if you can't find two places I've never been?"
"I'll buy you take out."
"And ice cream?"
Lucas laughter. "Sure."
"This is going to be the easiest meal I've ever worked for," she said.
"Just you wait."
X
"I've been here before," Riley said, sitting down in the iron patio chair across from Lucas, placing her cup of tea on the small round iron table in front of her. Lucas leaned back in his chair and enjoyed the view.
Surrounding them were many men and women all put together wearing suits and dresses having a break before they returned to work.
"I figured you had been, a lot of people have," he replied.
"You're not off to a very good start," Riley added.
Lucas smirked, turning around to face the wall behind them. Riley watched him carefully, unsure of why he was facing a wall when there were so many other things to be looking at.
"You see this wall?" Lucas asked. She nodded slowly. "This mural, isn't just a small unimportant piece of artwork. It's a piece of the Berlin Wall. Two men took the time to paint on top of the panels from the wall and create a beautiful image out of something that represented so much awful in Germany."
Facing the wall now, Riley was speechless. She'd been here at least a dozen times, and she'd never known. It was so beautiful, and it showed so much humanity. She would admit, the painting had caught her eyes before, but never in such a raw format. Never had it made her feel so much.
She couldn't help her eyes from welling up with tears. Somehow the simple image made her feel naked and she couldn't meet Lucas's eyes, knowing that he would be able to see directly into her soul.
"Riley?" Lucas whispered, reaching to grab her hand across the table. "I didn't mean to make you sad."
Riley chuckled softly, looking up at the sky to avoid her tears spilling. "I'm sorry, I really don't know why I am crying."
"Of course you do," Lucas replied softly.
This time Riley did laugh, causing Lucas to smile. "Oh yah, I forgot, you have all the answers." Referencing back to the night they met. Riley stood up, leaving her tea on the table.
"Where are you going?"
"I need some fresh air."
"We're outside."
Riley looked around her. "Oh yah." And began to walk away. Lucas grabbed his backpack off the ground and took another sip of this tea, before chasing after her.
She was a fast walker, he'd give her that. She was just barely around the corner from the mural when Lucas grabbed her arm, turning her towards him and wrapped his arms around him just as she began to cry.
She was hesitant at first, but when she saw that he wasn't going to let go, she could help her arms from holding on to him dearly. It took her only a few minutes to calm herself, after she let herself believe that what she needed was a good cry.
She pulled back slowly, but not far enough for Lucas to remove his hands from holding onto her shoulders.
"Now will you please tell me what's going on with you?"
Riley wiped her tears away, sniffling slightly and looking towards the busy streets beside her with glassy eyes, before looking back at Lucas.
"Maya, Shauna, Missy, Charlie," she listed off names. "You," she pointed less than gracefully.
"Me?"
"What are we even doing? Who are we kidding? Why would a quarterback football player with jock friends, all the people in the world worshiping him want to spend time with little old me? You have tons of friends and yet you want to spend your Friday with lonely Riley. You don't owe me anything Lucas."
"Riley," Lucas sighed, not realizing that Riley's issues went so much deeper than he imagine.
"My best friend doesn't have time for me, people are telling me I'm not good enough, and apparently, I am not worth fighting for. We hardly know each other and yet, you make me want to tell you everything, when I know you're not going to stay."
"I'm sorry," Lucas replied.
She rolled her eyes. "Why?"
"I'm sorry that all of those people were too stupid to realize what they were missing. I'm sorry that nobody else sees what I see when I look at you. That they can't see the wonder you have for the world, your optimism, and hope. I'm sticking around Riley, I don't care how long it takes for to me prove it."
She didn't know what to say next, not without offending one of them, so she stayed quiet. She wanted desperately to believe that he wasn't going to walk away anytime soon.
"You haven't even seen the best part of the tour. You're going to love it, Riley," Lucas told her honestly. Her heart couldn't help but skip a beat when he said her name. Somehow, when he said her name it made her feel special and wanted.
Riley smiled at him, as he put an arm around her shoulder, leading them towards their next destination. She was certain about one thing – Lucas was full of surprises, and she couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next.
A/N: Stop number one on Lucas's tour: Discreetly displayed alongside a courtyard in Midtown East lies a piece of the Berlin Wall. It is truly absolutely gorgeous, take a look! Thanks for reading, tune in next chapter for the rest of Lucas's tour and a surprising twist. :)